Running into an ex.

This is my first post here, I've been reading here on occasion for the past few months. Anyways, I'm a 20 year old Virgo Sun, Virgo Ascending, Pisces Moon male.

So, 2 weeks ago yesterday, my father remmarried, for the wedding, he had his 3 sons and his step-son to be as the groomsmen. So I was dressed to kill. My sister was also part of it as a bridesmaid. I also served as an usher before the ceremony began.

My sister's husban shows up with their daughter, and they invited one of my ex's, whom I haven't seen in nearly 3 years to this event (I graduated High School @ 17, now I'm nearly finished with college). I had no idea she would be there, nor did I know that she and my sister are now close friends.

I'm going to jump around alot here, so anyways, the relationship I had with her back then is the only one I've had that didn't end badly, and we remained friends after that, however when I moved away for college, I lost contact with her. So seeing her at the wedding, I was kind of interested in catching up with her. So I did just that at the reception, alot of small talk, etc.

Then my sister and her husband invite me over to their place for a bonfire and a few drinks, and I gladly took the invitation because my ex would be there, and I was interested in having some more time with her before I had to head back home, 150 miles away, the next day.

So a few drinks in us, and alot of catching up, her and I ended up in the same bed that night. All I can say is, wow. Not my first time, but definately one of the best times. I didn't plan on that happening, didn't expect it, etc. But it did.

So the next morning, I stick around, yeah, I'm the type that can't love 'em and leave 'em. So I wait for her to get up and I invite her out for breakfast. She accepts, and we had a good time, but she had plans with my sister that day, so I ended up going fishing with my sister's husband. That was it for that weekend.

So during the week, I'm regretting that I didn't get her number from her, so I call my sister, and she invites me out to the county fair and I was told that my ex would be there too. So I figured, sure, why not?

...Running out of space...To be continued...

So this past saturday, there's seemed to be some sort of miscommunication between my sister and the girl, so I end up being elected to pick her up to drive her out to the fair grounds. Everything is going well so far. So my sister, her husband, my niece, and my ex are all there, enjoying the fair.

We get to a point where there's a ride, 4 adults and a 2 year old, someone had to watch my niece for this ride, so my ex volunteers, the rest of us wait in the line, when I see a carny start hitting on her... grrrrrrr... so I'm like, NO, so I made up some excuse why I didn't want to ride the ride with the other 2, and walked over and put my arm around my ex, and the carny got that disturbed look on his face, and said "Is this your man?", she simply responds "He's a really good friend", that's fine by me for now and all. So we end up walking around together for awhile with my niece and whatnot.

Eventually we end up meeting back up with my sister and her husband again to hand off the child again 🙂 And we took off again, rode some more rides, just the 2 of us. I had a great time with her, and she said she did too. So we end up sleeping together again, but this time it was just sleep, and I was fine with that, I hate just rushing into things, which considering a week earlier, I don't know if we could have rushed anything more than we did a week prior. But earlier today, we're just sitting at my sister's place and she's leaning on me and I have my arm around her just watching some movies and what not.

So I'm hearing from my sister that this girl is interested in getting back together with me, I was just interested in catching up with her, but after these events, she's got me, I just don't want her to know she does, I'm trying to be careful, gah, I just don't know how the long distance thing is going to work out. I'm 3 months away from graduating with a bachelor's degree in computer information systems, and I'm already trying to line up jobs here. Of course it's only a 2.5 hour drive back home, but time adds up.

...To be continued... again...

So anyways, I haven't seen her in forever and alot has been going on here in my new city of residence, so I have forgot when her birthday is... so just through some chit chat I asked how long it'd be til she turns 21, and she said March, so just by judging her personality and just how she is... I'd have to say she's a Pisces. My opposite sign, I hear good and bad things about this combination, but I'm wondering if my moon in pisces helps compatibility wise.

So anyways, I don't know what to do, I don't want to give up on the job leads I have here in town to move back home after I get my degree, especially because nothing has been said about us being a couple again, and it's still early, and this is the 2nd time around for us... this woman... drives me nuts... and her eyes... so captivating..

Yeah, I can't stop thinking about her.

I was looking forward to your response Dyr, I've been reading these forums for the past few months ironically because I lost a Scorpio, I've come to respect you based on the few posts of yours that I have read over that time.

Anyways, I could be wrong about the Pisces thing, it's possible she's an Aries, I'll find out soon enough though, I'm going to see her again this Saturday.

I'll keep you all updated on this.

Thanks Dyr and ALV.

Virgopmoon,

You're really fortunate, even though I know this seems a little scary. So many people go their whole lives and never find the person who makes them feel like this.

Don't worry, it will work out. I know, you're a worry-wort. Sometimes, you have to let things flow and other times, you have to push a little. But, this just seemed like a dance . . in perfect time. Something like that has to be right.

Good Luck and I wish you happiness.

oh, btw . . . welcome to this community.

Awwwww this has to be the cutest story I've read on dxp...

Congrats on your future baby ALV!

Goodluck to you both!

🙂 🙂

Dyr,

What? I, um . . . what?

Did I do something to you?

Awww, thanks everyone... and TaurusChic... calling it cute made me red in the face... and not from anger... blahhhhhhhhh.

Anyways, I'm more restless than I've been in a long time... Not sleeping again... I'm thinking way too much... mostly about her, and how bad I could screw up my words this weekend, when I try to open up... and if I'll even get to that point...

Oh well, give me until Saturday, when I see her, I know the confidence will kick in again, for some reason, just being around her, I'm more relaxed...

I also, didn't mention this part... but since someone mentioned cute I suppose I have nothing to lose. As I was holding her while she was (I hope) sleeping, I whispered to her "I want you back" and kissed her on the forehead... Now I kind of hope she was asleep for that, but at the same time, maybe she heard it.

I'm still thinking... heh, as if you didn't know.

I'm gonna make the best of the weekend, I figure, I'm going to ask her where we are, and try not to make her feel pressured or anything, I'm not in a rush to make this official, but I want to know where she thinks/feels we stand.

On the other hand, I kind of feel slightly rushed, because she's one of them girls that I worry if I don't get this to be official soon, someone else will be chasing her... she's just... you know... wow.

With all due respect, I think the advice that has been given, albeit well-meaning, has been very poor.

The fact is you are twenty years old and have your whole life ahead of you.

I once heard someone say, "Love is found whenever you step out the door. It is always just around the corner yet no one ever remembers that there are also corners in Africa." Meaning people cling to the safe and forget that love happens everywhere you look for it.

Sometimes we cling to the rocks in our lives, the people and places we have known and feel safe with. This especially happens when we are face with the scary and the new. Ask yourself honestly, are you looking for security?

In three months you are graduating and starting your career. That is a scary. And if you don't use it, you lose it. This is something you have to do while you are fresh and new. You have to do it now or you won't do it.

I am not saying that this girl is wrong for you and to give her up. I am saying really give yourself a chance to see what you are made of. Perhaps the two of you will go long distance for awhile. Perhaps she will find a job in your city or you will find a good job in hers, just really don't give up on yourself. Put your life first. The rest will take care of itself. And if love doesn't happen with her, it will happen somewhere else, because it is always lurking around the corner no matter what city you go looking for it in.

LS: I don't see this as a security issue, I haven't seen this girl in nearly 3 years. It's not like I sat around waiting for her, I've dated other women since, it's just more recently, I've stopped chasing specific women and just started looking for connections, and I got a spark with this one. I didn't go searching, this found me.

And I'm by no means at all scared to start my career, I can't wait... and I definitely won't throw away a $ 45,000 education for a girl... I wouldn't give up my goals and dreams, I would simply ask her to become a part of them.

Of course, with this degree, there's plenty of companies in the city I currently live in that look for CIS grads from the school I attend, but when I left for college, there's a company back home that I had already had an onsite visit to that I seriously considered as a possibility for me... none of this is set in stone, and as far ahead as I've been thinking, more than likely this would remain a long distance type relationship, at least until I graduate, because at graduation, my options increase exponentially... at that point, if all has been going well with her (if everything goes well this weekend of course), then I'd probably either ask her to move in with me down here, which I don't think would be that difficult because she does have family here, or I'd find a place back home and ask her to move in with me there.

Yes, that is how far ahead I've been thinking, and I've been thinking further too... but I still have to wait and see how everything turns out on Saturday.

And LS, I do appreciate your post, it keeps me on my toes to make sure my motives are true, because as I read your post, not the slightest amount of doubt entered my heart/brain.

*** I definitely won't throw away a $ 45,000 education for a girl... I wouldn't give up my goals and dreams, I would simply ask her to become a part of them.

Good! I am very glad this is the way you are thinking. Got to keep you honest, you know? 😉

Let us know how it goes. And don't you DARE give up your shooling before you graduate. It is three months away and that is nothing over the course of a lifetime.

Good luck!

Well, I did some research this weekend, finding out more about her and whatnot, by spending lots of time with her, as well as through speaking with her sister and some of her friends.

Some of this info made me decide to take a little more time, so I basically told her I enjoy spending time with her but I'm not ready for this to get serious... and her response to this was not what I expected, I was expecting a slap in the face and "don't call me again". Instead, she told me she understood and asked me if I was going to come up next weekend to visit...

Now I'm confused.

Yeah, she was kind of suggesting I come see her. And the "call me next time" that I'm in town sounded more like a demand than a request.

And I got the hug and kiss when I dropped her off tonight, then headed back home.