The Virgo man and love (Page 2)

If I may add something here - I have read these posts - and some of what you say is true, some maybe from dealing with a Virgo. I have been for over three years - I am a female Scorpio. From my experiences and they have been many in dealing with this Virgo male. Insecurity seems to play a factor in alot of what he has done. "Fear" of commitment - "They may leave me" type thing. He was deeply hurt from a previous marriage. I think the best thing to do - is to talk to the person who is hiding behind the wall... believe me - a Virgo has a wall. Get to know the person who in your heart, you know he(she) is. They will begin to sit up and take notice. And wonder how did he (she) know that about me. Secondly, please take a Virgo as they are and not for what you want them to be. I have gone thru' so much with this particular Virgo that sometimes I feel like a limp noodle... but I also know he has been so good for me - he has given me insight into myself so to speak. Also, in dealing with this "earthly" creature - lead him gently into things. Virgos are not controlling at all. What I see is they like ORDER - and STRUCTURE. And they like to be the ones who decide things - I mean toss an idea out to them and they will make it their own. Mine had hurt me time and again, but being a Scorpio - I stood there and took it. Then last fall I almost died in car accident - he pushed me away when I needed him. But then he proceeded to almost have a melt-down. I was sad to see him like that. But I continued to be friendly as always with him. I backed off to give him some space. There was a lot going on with him then, my accident, his mom's death... so we parted for a while - for about two months actually. The since February - it been different in some way. He helps me do things around my house - gives me a hug when he comes over, and calls me anytime of day or night... so what's up— Any comments?

MissBovine,

"- Is a Virgo man capable of truly loving someone?"

Absolutelly F#@!! yes! Obviouslly I have no idea how other signs love, but I border on insanity! Whenever I am in love, every 3 months or so, I actually look for updates on DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),just to check the latest criteria on judging "obsession", "dependency", etc, in order to make sure that I am in fact normal. As a side note, the older I get - the more intense I feel the love. Last time I was trully in love with this extraordinary woman I used to work with, and I would get home from work - lit a cigarette, think about her, and after 30 min or so, of thinking about her, I would feel so exhausted emotionally and mentally , that I would just go to sleep. At freakin 6 p.m.!! And this coming from somebody who does karate 4 times a week, gym: 3 times, and tennis everyday!

- When he truly loves someone, how does he show it?

Somebody else here wrote this, or I may have read it somewhere: " You know for sure that a Virgo loves you, when he pushes you away " No other comment is necessary, except to add that if we really love you, we are very very quiet in your presence, and if you try to comunicate with us, we just go blank,become blocked and say the opposite of what we really want to say. BUT, our eyes allways tell the truth!

- As a recipient of that love from a Virgo man, how do you tell whether it is love or not?

Read the above again!

Hope this helps......

Little clarification:

the above is true ONLY when we are in love with somebody, but we are not a couple. Once we have a relationship, things are very different.

We become very very affectionate, honest and open. You may not "hear" our love, but you will "FEEL" it. The way we will touch you, or caress your face or your hair, the way we will hold you close, the way we make love to you, even the way we climax. Another simple way to tell is by the way we look at you, and how our face changes when we see you...

Later.

Thank you, excess, for your reply. Sorry I didnt make it clear. Me and Virgo were in a relationship until I decided to break it off. My questions specifically asked about a couple in love. I know how devoted my Virgo ex could be in a relationship. So, does "devotion" equals "love" to a Virgo? Is it just the same thing to a Virgo? I know how much my Virgo ex adored me, almost to a point that he thought I was perfect. It scared me a lot. I started to think that he did not love me for who I am, but instead because he thought he had found that "perfect" person he could spend his life with. It made me feel like the whole relationship was superficial. I was just unsure how sure he was that he actually loved me... maybe I should say he was not sure himself no matter how many times he said those three words to me.

Anyway, I really appreciate all the feedback I have received here. As I've said, it does not matter anymore though. The fact is, we're no longer together. Forgive my poor grammar. 🙂 Cheers!

Hey Excess, I was reading through the posts and you said that you're in love every 3 months or so?! Well sorry to burst your bubble, but with all due respect...that's not love! It's infactuation...

MissBovine -- Please help... I posted a message the other day about the Virgo male. I have been seeing this particular Virgo for over three years now. And to say that I am like a twisted pretzel is an understatement. For nearly eight years(we were friends first)this man has been so strange. I read the statements about how a Virgo acts when they are in love - I have read the Scorpio/VIrgo posts - I mean everything. Still to remain in a state of "flux" is a little strange. I feel that he loves me - he has demonstrated some of the things you said. But never once has he told me. Several months ago - I opened my heart to him, just let it out (something I might add that Scorps don't like to do) well it scared him so much - he pushed me away. Not that he hadn't done it before. but this time it was painful, because I had been in a potentially fatal car crash. Then he almost loses his mind. When I backed away.... it was like he went into a tailspin. Didn't know what to say to me, didn't know how to act, didn't know what to say. I know how Virgos always defend themselves - but even they must know some of their behavior is strange. He comes over a lot to my house - just sits, we talk, we drank a beer, we watch movies, we make love - we have this strange thing. A few months ago, I noticed that even his friends started treating me differently than before. It's like they will speak to me - but not flirty the way they use to. I have heard of "fear" but not like this. He was hurt in a bad marriage - but that was a long time ago - we all get hurt, I did in my marriage also - but I told him that at some point you move on. You can't allow one person to cause you to lose out on something that is good. I get the feeling he has let a lot of nice women go -- I guess I have treated him differently than most. Someone told me that Scorpio will love Virgo they way they want to be loved, but until they figure it out - they are so unsure. I have done what I know to do to make this man feel secure.

Hey glee...This is just a suggestion, but after reading your post I think it would be wise to look at him from a different angle, meaning don't think of him as 'the Virgo Man'...that's just a base...you can't always go by the sign for his actions in this particular case. He's acting funny? Well, that happens with anyone, irregardless of their sign. So, if he has issues he should either talk it out with you or just give him his space. Whatever it is, don't compromise yourself or your own happiness, ok? Take care...Life is confusing without having to overanalyze every detail:-) If in doubt, the boards and your friends are always here for you! Keep smiling!

Hi glee. 🙂 Sorry for the late reply. I am not sure how I can help you here. I agree with Miriam. You should stop thinking of him as the "Virgo man", analysing his every actions, and comparing those actions to the behaviours of the "typical Virgo". And stop thinking of yourself as the "Scorpio lady" and trying to act the way a Scorpio "would" to a Virgo. Just be yourself and go with the flow. It is a good thing you are always by his side but make sure you know what you really want and as Miriam said, do not compromise your own happiness.

Best wishes!

I feel kind of bad coming back to this thread after "knowing" what I "should" do... but something interesting happened one night ago and it just kept playing in my mind.

We all know how well-controlled Virgos generally are with their emotions, and how they can always keep their composure.

The other night, while chatting with my Virgo ex (we had not contacted each other at all since the break-up), I said something rude to him. I admitted my tactlessness but it was also due to a misunderstanding because I thought he was being sarcastic. When I realized that I misunderstood, I quickly apologised to him... but then he suddenly became emotional and said that he was hoping that we could still be friends because he treasured this friendship a lot... well, I can't really type it out here verbatim, but it was something along that line. Then he said "bye" and shut me off. His over-reaction really shocked me. But I guess he didn't realized what I said until I apologised... *LOL* But anyway, I SMSed him and apologised to him again... and again. He finally replied saying he was okay and even joked.

So, the thing that baffles me is, what he said about "becoming friends because he treasured the friendship a lot..." I mean, if all he wanted was a friendship, was there a need to over-react over such a small misunderstanding? Especially after I apologised...? And this coming from him since I know him as the person who's usually good at being inexpressive and unattached-emotionally. Okay, maybe I over-analysed but Virgos, please enlighten me... you guys are just too fascinating! 😉

Miriam: Sorry that you missed the point. I thought that my sarcasm was obvious!

MissBovine: If I wanted to take a cheap guess, I would say the he still loves you.

Thank you, excess, for that "cheap guess". 🙂 I appreciated the reply!

I'm not even sure if he "had loved" me before... now to conclude that he "still loves" me is a bit absurd, don't you think?

Posted by excess
MissBovine,

"- Is a Virgo man capable of truly loving someone?"

Absolutelly F#@!! yes! Obviouslly I have no idea how other signs love, but I border on insanity! Whenever I am in love, every 3 months or so, I actually look for updates on DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),just to check the latest criteria on judging "obsession", "dependency", etc, in order to make sure that I am in fact normal. As a side note, the older I get - the more intense I feel the love. Last time I was trully in love with this extraordinary woman I used to work with, and I would get home from work - lit a cigarette, think about her, and after 30 min or so, of thinking about her, I would feel so exhausted emotionally and mentally , that I would just go to sleep. At freakin 6 p.m.!! And this coming from somebody who does karate 4 times a week, gym: 3 times, and tennis everyday!

This happened to me today, minus lighting the cigarette. But I was thinking about my Virguy all day, pretending this experience with him isn't as frustrating and painful as it is. When I got home, I just threw myself on my bed, exhausted.

- When he truly loves someone, how does he show it?

Somebody else here wrote this, or I may have read it somewhere: " You know for sure that a Virgo loves you, when he pushes you away " No other comment is necessary, except to add that if we really love you, we are very very quiet in your presence, and if you try to comunicate with us, we just go blank,become blocked and say the opposite of what we really want to say. BUT, our eyes allways tell the truth!

click to expand

I would agree with that as well. Only mine is still married (but separated) and told me today he was his "wife was coming over" on Sunday when I asked him what he was doing for Father's Day. I...I don't know what to do with him because he won't say how he feels about me other than he "thought I was mean" when he first met me (it's that Virgo iciness--I don't even know I'm doing it), something he repeated more than once as if he was trying to then follow up with the fact that he likes me now. He just can't say anything, which is why I know he has something to say. Most other men would just blurt it out. I'm just...emotionally exhausted and we haven't gone on a date (hi--still married).

Don't be 🙂 he did me a favor and made me wiser.