This Virgo will make me cancerous

Hi,

I am following this Virgo forum for a long time because I dont know why but as a cancer woman I have this special ability to pick up Virgos among all.

so this time, relatively to the previous ones, I acted much more patiently and calm
I know this guy from university, we bumped to eachother 6 months ago started talking online and after a while we started having coffees..and the last 4 months I can say we see each other regularly, lets say once a week, we dont communicate every single day and i give his "virgo space need"; coffees, movies, watching dvd at home, dinner, going to sports together etc..

Like consedering the coffees I had during these last 4 months, I can say that i have little starbucks tree growing inside my stomach

He is always sarcastic and can't stop teasing me, I reply him the same way and we were having a lot of fun spending time together
and time to time he could get serious and talk to me about his life and problems

During all this time we never had something tactile and I was seriously thinking that maybe he was just seeing me as a friend

However just the other night we decided to meet, when I called him to decide what to do..he told me he just got into the house; so he suggested; "I can just directly go to starbucks or come over for a movie"
at the end we decided for a movie, i was very comfortable about it because it wasnt the first time that i am going to his place and anyway he doesn't touch me

but this time things were different; he hugged me first while watching the movie and then we started to kiss and at the end we had sex. he was very soft, caring, considerate...nothing harsh, rush..we slept together and stuff
I had to leave very early in the morning I had a meeting (he knew) and he send me a message during lunch time asking me if everything is alright
and last night I saw him online and i just talked to him a little bit, he was talking to me just exactly like we were always talking

nothing different, nothing about the previous night, nothing emotional,nothing nothing..just casual 10 minute talk and he went to the gym

so now what? what is this? is it only sex?

Now; I am panicked, I don't even know how to act.. just waiting?

I really like this guy and I want to have a relationship

what do you guys think? any suggestions
i really need because i can't think rationally


i just need an answer positive or negative so I would know how to behav

I'm already taking it slow..but now i just don't how to act..i need to understand his intentions..and i hope i can handle this slow process because i feel like my tolerance level is declining after those 4 months

just wait and see, wait him to make a move—

or is he waiting a move from me ??(i also don't want to give him an impression like it was just sex for me..and i don't care)

seriously so confused!!!

FS, thanks for the comments

I just need to cool down, i just can't help it...this waiting period kills me

Virgogotme

everything wasn't fine before the intimacy, nothing is fine now because i dont know his thoughts..and asking about his thoughts wouldn't make the situation easier or clearer

i always had questions in my mind about his feelings, but instead of talking he was usually showing with his behaviors

and the sex wasn't planned..it just happened naturally and i just think that in a natural flow its very irritating to stop after the kiss and ask..i dont think that the outcome would change

Miasma ..... nothing with him changed, his treatment of you now is exactly as it was then.

What has changed is your desire for the expression of feelings from him because now that you've slept together .. being a female you believe that sex = feelings.

He's a guy .... NOT a girl.

Gender differences 101

Things don't change with men because they sleep with you ...


Things change with YOU, the female, once he sleeps with you ....


That ^^ needs to be understood .. BY ALL WOMEN

P angel

I know that for men sex doesn't necessarily mean relationship, but for women sex usually mean relationship..ok with those clich?s

but let's say for both men and women: sex and relationship are correlated..
so,I had the desire for expression before and I still desire it now after the sex
nothing is changed for me too..but before there was nothing tactile now that there is i just got more curious and more impatient

but let's say for both men and women: sex and relationship are correlated..
so,I had the desire for expression before and I still desire it now after the sex
nothing is changed for me too..but before there was nothing tactile now that there is i just got more curious and more impatient

------

Right .. so, it's you who has changed, and not him. You are now the one who is more curious and more impatient.

My point was ... he hasn't really done anything to change the terms of the relationship and I just wanted to clarify that because it has been suggested that once he slept with you, he changed. And he didn't.

Things don't change with men because they sleep with you ...


Things change with YOU, the female, once he sleeps with you ....

This is true

This is totally off topic but I think if a man seems overly anxious to sleep with you, then thats a red flag that sex is probably all he wants out of the deal.

Okay, back to the original topic 😄

I would agree with you, Cappy, and it isn't irrelevant to the topic at all .. in fact, it's totally relative.

"and the last 4 months I can say we see each other regularly, lets say once a week" ............ for 4 months of getting to know each other doesn't = just a fuck.



"so now what? what is this? is it only sex?

Now; I am panicked, I don't even know how to act.. just waiting?"


Think about this, Miasma ... you are panicked now because you can't figure out whether you were just a fuck to him .. yet, it's been 4 months of you two getting to know each other more personally before this sexual contact.

Everything is just fine from his end ... he's been getting closer to a woman he cares about, and made love to her .. why shouldn't he carry on with his life as if everything is normal and fine?

You are creating hysterical energy for yourself to embrace .. when it isn't necessary, and will only cause you to do or say something you will regret later.

Relax 🙂

Thanks P-Angel,

I've told two of my friends the same thing, but they won't listen to me. One is depressed because a relationhip she really wanted to work out ended and another just has trouble keeping a relationship going after the guy sleeps with her -- but this friend is totally in denial about it.

Alright .. I hid that ... carry on ....

Dont think too hard!

my cat just delivered yesterday night..I have 4 litte persion kittens now
they are so cute!!! 🙂

anyway when I was searching for a male mate for my cat, my virgo helped me a lot and at the end he is the one who found the male mate for her
so actually we were waiting for the kittens, and he was always asking abou it

last night i took a picture of them and send to his phone..i am not sure if he received it but no answer at all

i mean this is totally different topic..nothing related with 'us'

i don't get this

pofff i hate this current situation

I think you should cautiously talk to him about how you feel... just be careful not to sound desperate or mushy, that freaks us out.

Keep it straight and factual. A,B and C happened and I am not sure about D,E,F is going.

Cajunspirit,

Yeah i'll definetely talk to him, i was thinking about it...

here, i know i sound panicked, concerned, chaotic, irrational 🙂 but i don't reflect anything to him.

I am just waiting now-no contact,no calls, nothing- ill give his space & time and wait for a while, meanwhile i want to cool off, calm down

During this period, if there isn't any effort from his part, ill just talk to him..anyway i don't want to give him the impression that i don't care cause i do

i just have to decide about the timing of this talk..not too early, not too late

forgor the ask: any suggestion for timing?? (its been 4 days by the way)

hi everyone,

after 8 days, yesterday night i called the virguy, the first thing he asked was why I wasn't around, why I was never online, why I haven't called him..I wanted to shout back all those questions and ambiguities in my mind but i just calmly explained him my week, my business travels and my kittens

so I've learned that he did not receive the pictures, his phone was not compatible with those types of messages..so he asked me a hundread questions about the cats

I started to tell him about the stupid and funny things that I was dealing this week in business..so we talked about those stuff and laughed

he told me that I always have nice stories to tell about and that he likes listening to me and he envies it...poff i don't know...so he said that he doesn't have any news or stories, basically he explained that he is going to work, he is going to the gym and he is playing computer games

I was just about the end the conversation and say goodbye, he told me that we should meet soon, I said ok, I was in the car..he asked me where I was exactly and invited me over his place

I really wanted to see him..so I just went to his place.. I think we talked about this and than for 2 hours and again he asked me if i want to stay over, so we had sex again and again he was very kind, soft and caring
we cuddled and slept together and I left earlier than him for work

So i will talk to him in a couple of days about how i feel about him..yeah i won't get desperate, mushy etc..

but before i need some comments because i really can't read this guy

can this be a relationship in the future?
or this guy just like spending time with me and having sex?

never calls (during 4-5 months he never called me randomly, always if there is a purpose to call)
usually prefers online talk and asks me about everything online (going out for a movies, gym or coffee)
time to time he text messages me

and never never refuses any of my suggestions, he is like ready waiting me to suggest something; coffee, dinner, movies, dvds etc..

any ideas?? i really need it

i'm cancer

Miasma,

First: CALM DOWN!! You're getting yourself way too worked-up. You seem like a Typical Cancer Woman, and he seems like a Typical Virgo Man. Astrologers say y'all are an "easy" couple, so don't sweat it so much...

Second: What I'm reading from you is a Natural Progression for a Virgo. He knew you for several months before y'all made love the first time. He says he likes you. He says he likes listening to you talk. He seems very interested in the things going on in your life. So, from his point of view, everything is as it should be.

You are in a position now to Tell Him what You Want / Expect from Him. Tell him you'd like to hear from him more often - even if it's just to say "Good Night!" He may think his daily shit is too boring to talk about. Plus, if he's like me, he hates talking on the phone - it's too easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood.