Virgo Ex

Hi, I've just joined here after looking for information hoping to find some clarity.
Apologies if this turns into a long post!

I'm libra and have known my Virgo for nearly 10 years. When we met I was in a relationship so obviously never saw him as anything but a friend. He developed a massive crush on me that at times was borderline obsessive, it wasn't healthy so I kept a safe distance from him but was always polite as he was a lovely guy.

My relationship ended and me and the Virgo remained friends.

A year or so later he came to visit (he lived 4 hours away) he is also friends with a group of friends he met through me so he wasn't just here to see me. Anyway, he had eased off the obsessive behaviour and we became close and ended up kissing. I wanted to take things slowly but with his job (he was in the army) and the distance it became quite serious quickly.

He totally bowled me over, expressed his disbelief that he was finally with me etc, we were very happy.

As time went on he became quite critical which I found hard, but he was still caring. Very generous, funny in a dry witty way and very trustworthy, I never ever doubted him even though we spent a lot of time apart when he was away with the army etc. my trust has never faltered.

Fast forward a few years, we were practically like a married couple, he was great with my kids and in many ways everything I ever dreamed of.

He was quite intense sexually and to be honest it started to feel like a chore, he could never get enough, he said I should see it as a compliment but I started to feel resentful, if we weren't together he wanted me to send pictures etc and would act like I'd done the worst thing ever if I didn't oblige.

He left the army so was here full time. He got a job that was long hours and he hated it, he was a misery to live with and things went off the boil, he became hard to live with, would always give me 'advice' and constantly pester for sex, our relationship went pretty crap.

One day he said it wasn't working and that he was leaving, there was no discussion and circumstances with his job meant he had to leave within a couple of days. He has since said he regrets not talking to me about it first and thinks he rushed into leaving.

I was heart broken, when he left he said he loved me but couldn't carry on the way we were, I agreed but would have liked the chance to make it work.

We've been in various forms of contact ever since (4 months).

He said at one

The rest of my post seems to have disappeared...basically, we've met up a few times which isn't easy 4 hours travelling etc and had a great time (slept together each time)

I'm not prepared to be a fwb if he knows he doesn't want to see how things go but he's so hard to talk to, he says he misses me, can't get enough of me, I'm beautiful etc he whispered he loved me the last time we were together.

I am happy to just see how things go due to the distance etc

He was never promiscuous before we met so I have a hard time thinking he would travel all that way just for sex but can obviously never be sure.

He's never been great at talking things through whereas I like to talk - any mention of feelings and he seems to back off and says we should just not look too much into it and enjoy spending time together, is he testing the water but too scared to put a label on it or does he just see me as a very long distance friend with benefits?

Thanks