virgo fem. feeling overwhelmed

Ok. I've been dating a virgo female for about 5 weeks. I'm really into her. Like I've never felt this way before. I'm a scorp. And I have some intense passion in me but this is a whe new thing for me. So anyway. After 3 weeks she said she needed 'slow' and 'didnt want to hurt me' and 'her heart is closed right now' saying then as soon as she has her happy place(buying a house,hates her home now) she'll be good. Asked me to just stay yet no 'expectations' so I agree. She still calls while I'm traveling for work. Texts also. Now here is the kicker. I told here 2 nites ago I missed her. Tonight she sent a 'kiss face' I said I can't wait for a real one and sent one back.
So. We text convo later and she asked me about a msg I sent a few days ago. I wrote'i get it' this was because I have noticed I get almost no response to anything other then 'hi' or 'how are you' or easy direct questions. So tonight I tell her that. She then said she is sorry and feels overwhelmed. Wondering how? I asked what I'm supposed to do since I've been letting her initiate all convo. All texts. She just said you're pushing me away. So I ask is it because I share my feelings? She then said. I'm falling asleep and can we continue this tomorrow? I say sure. Goodnite.
Ok— Really— I miss you can push you virgos away? Wanting a real kiss again after being away will push you away? Come on. I'm gone two weeks at a time. Its not like going to the corner store! Is this the ' be my f buddy til I find my heart and chip the ice off it?" Is that what she's saying. I don't get it? She is so wonderful when we are together. Her actions in no way match these statements. And for first couple days I'm away she blows me up with communication. Then she gets busy and it gradually fades to a daily 'hi' 'goodnite' and 'i hope you're safe' maybe a quick call.
I'm looking for either the secret code to virgo communication or the understanding behind these words. I am trying so damn hard here and still not getting it? Its like another language. What more do I need to stop doing or do? Could all this be because of my distance while I'm working? What are your thoughts? Need imput 😉

She wants to hear the magic words:
MARRY ME!

Nothing else will do mate. If you're not going to marry her, then she's going to tell you:
"YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN!"

Virgo female...

Its been only 5 weeks ....slow down! You cant push all your intense feelings at her or you will push her away. Which she has told you this in her own way. Us virgals are very slow in relationships and it takes us awhile to open up.

That marry me crap was funny. Yeah right. I'm intense not stupid. Id love to in a couple years. Not 5 weeks. No.no.no.
To the slow down answer. I believe I have. Do I have to pretend I don't give a shit and ignore her to get closer to her? Is it that stupid game?

Yeah dont play games ...that wont earn her trust and shell back off way more. Basically go with the flow...she has walls and you will have to break them down. We have very intense emotions too ..they are just buried deep down inside and wont come out til later ...when we feel we can trust you and 5 weeks is not enough time.


How old are you two?

So she always texts you first?

Yeah. I've let her text and call me first a 100% since two weeks ago. To show I respected her schedule,etc. Prior to that it was more of me texting first 25 percent her 75. To the other. She is 37 I'm 34.
Where I am having an issue is you are correct. There is a wall. She admits it. We have discussed it. But how do I break that down as she has even stated shed like if I am forced to inable her to hide behind this wall because of the reminder and fear of pushing her away? This is so catch 22. Its like playing football in the nfl without arms!!

It will slowly come down when she starts to trust you....if you do something to even hint distrust she will put them up and they will be even further up then before...we can smell bs from a mile away! Just hang out, get to know each other and see what happens. Just dont be too loose with the going with the flow ...like you dating other people etc or that will scare her. Trust ..patience and understanding is what we want...we are very old fashion...just use your scorpy sense lol

Lol @ playing football without any arms

Also we get the emotions thing ...cause we do have them but we use logic in everything we do...we do not just jump into things...we weigh all the options and if your coming on too intense or strong ...she is going to need the time to figure it all out..hence her feeling overwhelmed.

Well... today I sent the first text. Just a simple "hi, hope your day is going well" since it was 4pm and I hadn't received a word. Which is odd. Its normally religous. 10 am ish I always get a "hiya" or something. Anyway. She responded with been reading a lot. May go organize the garage! What about U? I answered just another day at work, hurt my shoulder, the norm. 🙂 so she asked how I explain and she responds "oh geez that's horrible. Nothing more.
Where I get so fuzzy is where we go from meeting to talking constintly to be intimate more then a few times then I'm back to work and away. So talk all the time until I notice its less,and less. Like 'reverse' not 'slow'
I'm thankful for your answers so far. You are spot on with the logic part. We have discussed that it has to make sense in her mind first before. I on the other hand am not accustomed to the overwhelmed backwards stuff. From my vantage point to progress we must maintain communication. I see the shortness and lack there of to be fleeing. And this concept is confusing. I'm hanging in though.

when you mentioned overwhelmed, i thought it was weird that you automatically thought it was because of you. when they say overwhelmed i'm pretty sure it's from the whole of their life, not so much personal life. financial stress, family stress, work stress, etc., they worry a lot. but not so much about romantic relationships, they usually have more than one choice in that area. virgos are very loyal and don't share emotional stories often, or never. so if she's had serious relationships in the past, it's what could be keeping that emotional wall up. if you could get her to confide a traumatic, deep, personal etc. story that could help you get to her more. anyway, talk about interesting non-personal things, instead of asking the same questions day after day like "what did you eat?" lol that type of question annoys me after a while.

See I would have to disagree some...I've used the "I feel overwhelmed" before and it was because of the person coming on too strong. But yes we can be overwhelmed with a lot of things ...just like everyone else. Im not saying that that's not the case here.

yes I worry a lot about romantic relationships...specially when I really care for the person (might be cause of my scorp rising) I think maybe what she (cellardoor) meant (I could be wrong) by the we dont worry about romantic relationships...cause we have all these options comment (which might be her case)....but we dont go looking for them...we will wait our whole lives for the right person...we are very independent and could be just fine if we never find love ...even though we want it very much. Most virgals stick with one person ...we a very loyal and dont run around!

They key is to get her to open up...but she will not do this without trust (we hate feeling or being vulnerable). And yes the distance (you gone for two weeks at a time) maybe hard to get to that place...if lets say you were dating for a year or more ...it would be a little easier. But once we get busy with something ...we fail to look at anything else but the "project" were doing at the moment....its not fair but it is what it is lol.

Its a slow process with us...and usually the other people cant handle it and bails...but its what works with us ..then we find out whose serious about us or not.

Ok now I feel im rambling lol. But I am curious to see both of your charts (but im NOT an expert and wouldn't be able to tell you much lol) but maybe some one else could

Id imagine you're both right. She has opened up at times of past relationships and her big thing with me is I quote " there were things in past relationship that early on I knew would be issues and wouldn't let it last and I want to avoid doing that again" she also said "I want to stop choosing the wrong men" I said " don't let your dedication to not choosing the wrong men make you blind when meeting the right man" she said she had thought of that to but was closed off to the idea. So I let it go.
I've just noticed that she has become so distant and what I view as cold. She is slammed with work and moving and all that buying a house has to go with it. Its just she used to focus on that and still call and rant, and text. Now if I don't ask a direct question I don't get anything. She used to tell me or volunteer info. Like going here with so and so, etc. Now its just. I went and saw a friend. Or two nights ago. I want to talk to you but not now. Going to get food. She texted. Next day. She said it was a bad morning she got drunk and had to put finger in her mouth and felt quezzie still. Ok, what happen to wanting to talk to me? Then telling me I overwhelm her. A week ago its work and house and money got her overwhelmed. I back off and then I'm overwhelming her? She seems to have time for everyone. Just not me. Today. Stupid texts. I was asking her favs about holiday meals,drinks,movies,etc. She answered then asked me same things. Then texts " your on a crazy holiday info gathering kick today,huh!" I just answered " just trying to get to know you better and it tis the season." And silence since. Didn't realize talking about apple pie and hot cocco was another pushing her away moment! I feel like I'm being kept on side for later, when a week ago and before she was all about me. I haven't changed, I just gave her space. What is wrong with my dealings. Its almost as if she spooks at me being into her! Like there must be something wrong with me if I want her. All I know for sure is I need a thicker helmet to beat agaisnt her wall!

I'm aries sun, a scorp, and sag moon. Most people just see the fire in me until they get to know me. That's about all I remember of my chart. Hers is a mystery as so is she!

it's more likely that she puts everyone on the side, not just you. please, don't take it personal. I'm unsure whether it's long distance, i dont think virgos deal well in long distance relationships. you'd have a much better chance dropping by and helping out if that is at all possible. being there physically. they're much more pleasant face to face lol. and you can grow on her much faster and more securely that way.

Last night I told her I'm here if she wants to continue anything. Sorry if I come on too strong. I said I didn't feel I am wrong to care for her and she isn't wrong to be guarded. I hope I hadn't pushed beyond the point of no return. I'm sorry if I have done anything wrong.
Since then. Nothing. No nothing. She knows in january all my travels are done. I will be there full time. There is a night and,day dif. From being away and together. When together she always has contact to me. Leg over mine, holding on my arm. Pinches my bootie while bowling, kiss a lot. But when I'm gone its so distant. Out of sight out of mind! Do you think my text last night will be taken as I give up or balls in her court. I'm not giving up. Just waiting. I hope she took it how I meant it?

Did finally get a text. Just a simple. Fill me in on her day and she hopes I'm well. So I guess at least she does think of me, although it is so 'simple' or 'small talk' that I am holding back any excitment. I am looking forward to getting home and seeing if it is all back to good upon seeing eachother or if she chooses to see me at all? You virgos are odd creatures :-) so much to love about you yet very confusing on the communication. I express myself well and I am told people won't ask me anything if they want to be lied to. I don't hold much back. I just say it like I see it. I really like people who do the same. I love knowing where I stand. Even if I'm not liked I'm comforted by knowing that fact. With you virgos though? I haven't decided if you are to busy deciding what you think, if you haven't gotten around to thinking about it or if its more of a secret? I have been told briefly before all this that what she thought was 'pretty damn good' what she was refering to is beyond me? Was it the sex? The conversations? The dates? Everything? Beats me. She knows exactly what i Thought of it all. I hope at some point we stop going backwards and she starts communicating again. This short stuff feels a bit like a slow decent before a hard landing. Anyway, I'll stop carrying on.