Virgo Interested or Not? (Page 2)

P dating is really hard now a days. You're married so I don't expect you to understand. There are a lot of creeps in sheeps clothing and I've had that experience being completely naive. So, it's a way of protecting myself in a new age dating when you can't always discern if the guy is only looking for one thing or not. Is it fair? No. But who says life is?

I always try to be fair as possible. But I find letting a guy initiate shows me his level of interest. Yes, I could ask him, but he can say yes he's very interested and still be a wolf in sheeps clothing. It just saves me time instead of wasting it on weeks or months of dating only to find out he's not right.

It's not fool proof but it is what's working right now. If you have a better idea please I'd love to know 🙂

Plus I know what I want. I'm looking for an equal so if he can't do something as simple as initiating I'm not really interested. I'm sorry if that's harsh but it's the truth.

Posted by P-Angel

Even in/with the expression of love, the Virgo will serve you.

When you are told that you have to lead, it is meant in literal terms. Not you going, "yeah, yeah ok, but " .. there's no (but) you want a man who will initiate his passion and interests .. if you want that kind of man, then you won't find him here.

A Virgo is going to go change your oil for you, or make sure to remember your favorite food and movie genre ... but, he's not going to call you up to chat.

He has to be told by you what you want/need him to say or do, if you have these expectations of him ... because he won't realize it, otherwise.

To be the partner of a Virgo means that you have to be able to tell him what to do. If you don't .. then what you'll end up with is a whiny critical fool.

You're still a bitter bitch, but a correct one in this instance. A Virgo man has to feel very, very secure to be assertive. A Virgo man has to feel confident that he has secured your interest before blowing up your phone. A Virgo man at the onset is reticent, but he WILL respond to firm, confident, assertiveness. In fact, he may even rise to the occasion.

For some reason it says @Gennie posted but I cannot see the post.

Posted by xtina

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by xtina

Yeah but you don't need to initiate like a guy. If a woman doesn't initiate it's normal. But if a guy doesn't that's signs that he just might not be into her.

I think that's fucked up.

Guys experience rejection just as deeply as women do. They also require communication from women informing them that they are desired, that they are being considered as interesting by the woman they like.

In this horrendous double standard, the woman is taking a position in where she excuses herself from accountability in showing the man she likes him ... while it is a requirement of the men to bestow this upon the woman.

in other words .. you're saying that you are deserving of something that you don't think you need to give.

You're taking it out of context.

Just because I don't initiate it doesn't mean I don't show him or tell him I like him. In fact I have no problems being direct and letting a guy know I'm interested or like him and I have 🙂

I always take the other persons feelings into consideration so if I don't like him I'll let him know in a nice way. I would never string a person along. I'm usually very straightforward and direct with my communication and intent in a relationship.

click to expand

No, I did not take it out of context.

To say: you don't need to initiate like a guy. If a woman doesn't initiate it's normal. But if a guy doesn't that's signs that he just might not be into her

Means: the woman is taking a position in where she excuses herself from accountability in showing the man she likes him ... while it is a requirement of the men to bestow this upon the woman.

Posted by ashley1734
For some reason it says @Gennie posted but I cannot see the post.

You probably have that person blocked ... though, I wouldn't know really because I've never used the block function

*feature .. not function

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by ashley1734
For some reason it says @Gennie posted but I cannot see the post.

You probably have that person blocked ... though, I wouldn't know really because I've never used the block function

click to expand

😕

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by xtina

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by xtina

Yeah but you don't need to initiate like a guy. If a woman doesn't initiate it's normal. But if a guy doesn't that's signs that he just might not be into her.

I think that's fucked up.

Guys experience rejection just as deeply as women do. They also require communication from women informing them that they are desired, that they are being considered as interesting by the woman they like.

In this horrendous double standard, the woman is taking a position in where she excuses herself from accountability in showing the man she likes him ... while it is a requirement of the men to bestow this upon the woman.

in other words .. you're saying that you are deserving of something that you don't think you need to give.

You're taking it out of context.

Just because I don't initiate it doesn't mean I don't show him or tell him I like him. In fact I have no problems being direct and letting a guy know I'm interested or like him and I have 🙂

I always take the other persons feelings into consideration so if I don't like him I'll let him know in a nice way. I would never string a person along. I'm usually very straightforward and direct with my communication and intent in a relationship.

No, I did not take it out of context.

To say: you don't need to initiate like a guy. If a woman doesn't initiate it's normal. But if a guy doesn't that's signs that he just might not be into her

Means: the woman is taking a position in where she excuses herself from accountability in showing the man she likes him ... while it is a requirement of the men to bestow this upon the woman.

click to expand

If that's how you see it but I don't believe in no accountability. I think everyone's accountable for their own actions. I don't believe that just because I believe men should initiate most of the time in the beginning does not excuse the woman from not being direct about what she wants. Or if she likes him no. That's not what I believe at all.

I said she doesn't need to initiate like a man meaning not being aggressive nowhere in there did I say that women are pardon from all accountability.

Nor do I think it a requirement. In fact, I said that its just a good indicator of the level of a mans interest. If he's not interested enough to simply initiate why waste time? I know I can initiate and take the lead if I have to (which I have done many times before) but I don't know if a person I hardly know will. So, letting him be a man and initiate is a good indicator. I could spend a good chunk of time being straight forward but to expect someone I barely know to be honest? Well that's another thing...

Posted by xtina

its just a good indicator of the level of a mans interest

If he's not interested enough to simply initiate why waste time?

So, letting him be a man and initiate is a good indicator.

It's the double standard here that is the thorn in my side.

1. it's a good indicator to the man of the level of a woman's interest
2. if she's not interested enough to simply initiate why waste time?
3. letting her be a female and initiate is a good indicator


You make the implication that a woman is deserving of having open and honest feedback from a guy .... but, he isn't deserving of getting the same treatment.

It doesn't matter what you say .... you can't unsay this.

so, best to just let it be and accept the fact that in my eyes, you're unfair and practice double standards

If you're not going to be a female who is equal to men ... then step aside and let them rule.

If the thought of being ruled by and dictated to by a man leaves a bad taste in your mouth .... the solution is to practice equality.

Oh, haha I blocked P-Angel cus she is an a-hole. I guess when Genie quotes P-Angel I can't see those posts either.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by xtina

its just a good indicator of the level of a mans interest

If he's not interested enough to simply initiate why waste time?

So, letting him be a man and initiate is a good indicator.

It's the double standard here that is the thorn in my side.

1. it's a good indicator to the man of the level of a woman's interest
2. if she's not interested enough to simply initiate why waste time?
3. letting her be a female and initiate is a good indicator


You make the implication that a woman is deserving of having open and honest feedback from a guy .... but, he isn't deserving of getting the same treatment.

It doesn't matter what you say .... you can't unsay this.

so, best to just let it be and accept the fact that in my eyes, you're unfair and practice double standards

click to expand

Ok, initiation does not equal absolute open feedback and communication. It's a small aspect of the courting between men and women.

But ok then you can believe whatever you want of me. I just find it very hypocritical that you don't even try to understand me when I'm trying to understand you. But that is life. It's unfair and I'm ok and accepting of it because I'm still happy regardless 🙂

Posted by tiziani
The difference between being passive and being receptive - you have to be open, to be receptive. Then you show them just how receptive you are by letting them know you're paying attention to how the time together is hitting some notes in you.

When you met up with him you picked up what you enjoyed in feeling and hearing the sound of his voice on the couch. Evidently you are open and in touch with yourself, what you enjoy.

But did you tell him this? Did you let him know what he was doing right so that he could do more of it?

Passive people do not share that information.

You come across as a transient and vivid person. Those are both qualities, yet they are hard to bridge.

No two relationships you've posted about on here have ever read the same.

There's a different quality you pick out of each one of the relationships. You're evidently very open with yourself.

A man will match you for pace alongside, without him turning into a controlling asshole or seeming out of touch, when you share the simple details you pick up in his company. The thing about the voice on the couch was very intriguing.

Anyone can intiate but most people lead busy lives and you will not maintain their interest unless you share how you've been paying them interest in turn.

What a thoughtful response, thank you.

"The difference between being passive and being receptive - you have to be open, to be receptive. Then you show them just how receptive you are by letting them know you're paying attention to how the time together is hitting some notes in you."

So when someone is doing/saying something that resonates well (or not) with me, I should communicate that. I have let him know before that he makes great eye contact, which he has continued to do. Also, on our very first date we talked about the love languages and we BOTH stated that our main love language was words of affirmation, and yet neither of us have been super open in giving that to the other, perhaps because the feelings haven't developed or perhaps it is uncomfortable. Interesting how the very thing we want from others is so difficult for us to give to them.

Thank you for this...I need to do a MUCH better job expressing what I appreciate and being conscious of what it is I am feeling and liking in these interactions so that I even CAN express it. I don't know why that is so hard for me to do in romantic situations, when I am so open and loving with everyone else. Fear, I'm sure.

Posted by P-Angel

If you're not going to be a female who is equal to men ... then step aside and let them rule.

If the thought of being ruled by and dictated to by a man leaves a bad taste in your mouth .... the solution is to practice equality.

great advice.


OP, why don't you practice equality, it seems to me you want that. cause you keep "fighting".

Posted by tiziani
The difference between being passive and being receptive - you have to be open, to be receptive. Then you show them just how receptive you are by letting them know you're paying attention to how the time together is hitting some notes in you.

When you met up with him you picked up what you enjoyed in feeling and hearing the sound of his voice on the couch. Evidently you are open and in touch with yourself, what you enjoy.

But did you tell him this? Did you let him know what he was doing right so that he could do more of it?

Passive people do not share that information.

You come across as a transient and vivid person. Those are both qualities, yet they are hard to bridge.

No two relationships you've posted about on here have ever read the same.

There's a different quality you pick out of each one of the relationships. You're evidently very open with yourself.

A man will match you for pace alongside, without him turning into a controlling asshole or seeming out of touch, when you share the simple details you pick up in his company. The thing about the voice on the couch was very intriguing.

Anyone can intiate but most people lead busy lives and you will not maintain their interest unless you share how you've been paying them interest in turn.

I think it's a good thing that no two relationships I've posted about have been the same haha.

Posted by ashley1734
Oh, haha I blocked P-Angel cus she is an a-hole. I guess when Genie quotes P-Angel I can't see those posts either.

P said = Even in/with the expression of love, the Virgo will serve you.

When you are told that you have to lead, it is meant in literal terms. Not you going, "yeah, yeah ok, but " .. there's no (but) you want a man who will initiate his passion and interests .. if you want that kind of man, then you won't find him here.

A Virgo is going to go change your oil for you, or make sure to remember your favorite food and movie genre ... but, he's not going to call you up to chat.

He has to be told by you what you want/need him to say or do, if you have these expectations of him ... because he won't realize it, otherwise.

To be the partner of a Virgo means that you have to be able to tell him what to do. If you don't .. then what you'll end up with is a whiny critical fool.


I said = You're still a bitter bitch, but a correct one in this instance. A Virgo man has to feel very, very secure to be assertive. A Virgo man has to feel confident that he has secured your interest before blowing up your phone. A Virgo man at the onset is reticent, but he WILL respond to firm, confident, assertiveness. In fact, he may even rise to the occasion.

Posted by Gennie

Posted by ashley1734
Oh, haha I blocked P-Angel cus she is an a-hole. I guess when Genie quotes P-Angel I can't see those posts either.

P said = Even in/with the expression of love, the Virgo will serve you.

When you are told that you have to lead, it is meant in literal terms. Not you going, "yeah, yeah ok, but " .. there's no (but) you want a man who will initiate his passion and interests .. if you want that kind of man, then you won't find him here.

A Virgo is going to go change your oil for you, or make sure to remember your favorite food and movie genre ... but, he's not going to call you up to chat.

He has to be told by you what you want/need him to say or do, if you have these expectations of him ... because he won't realize it, otherwise.

To be the partner of a Virgo means that you have to be able to tell him what to do. If you don't .. then what you'll end up with is a whiny critical fool.


I said = You're still a bitter bitch, but a correct one in this instance. A Virgo man has to feel very, very secure to be assertive. A Virgo man has to feel confident that he has secured your interest before blowing up your phone. A Virgo man at the onset is reticent, but he WILL respond to firm, confident, assertiveness. In fact, he may even rise to the occasion.

click to expand

Very interesting and helpful! I have certainly not met many men like that.

Posted by CrosstownTraffic

Posted by CrosstownTraffic
So much cruft that has gotten in this thread. Choose wisely gemini.

Someone made the comment that....lets just say a virgo needs you to tell him what you want...

Some may actually know what you want, while the others never have a clue.

...tell you virgo what you want. he prob needs to know.

click to expand

That sounds very simple, but the thought of it makes me a touch uncomfortable. Not a clue why. Not because I don't feel deserving, but maybe I am afraid he will be like "woah woah slow down, there should be no expectations here"

That's a ridiculous thought process. I should just voice it...although now he is moving across the country anyway.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by CrosstownTraffic

Posted by CrosstownTraffic
So much cruft that has gotten in this thread. Choose wisely gemini.

Someone made the comment that....lets just say a virgo needs you to tell him what you want...

Some may actually know what you want, while the others never have a clue.

...tell you virgo what you want. he prob needs to know.

That sounds very simple, but the thought of it makes me a touch uncomfortable. Not a clue why. Not because I don't feel deserving, but maybe I am afraid he will be like "woah woah slow down, there should be no expectations here"

That's a ridiculous thought process. I should just voice it...although now he is moving across the country anyway.

I think your problem is that you're too worried about the other person. That doesn't mean to not be considerate, but finding a mate is about finding someone that meets your needs. Someone that compliments you and you them. Be yourself and be up front about your needs. It opens a dialogue. Surely that's less uncomfortable than this tap dancing routine you're doing now.

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I like that advice

The thing about Virgo Men is that they are Acts of Service oriented in the love language. If we are talking astrology, with Virgo Rising + Mars in Cancer a major way that I show my affection is to cook favorite meals. But too much Aqua to take it much further than that.

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by Gennie
The thing about Virgo Men is that they are Acts of Service oriented in the love language. If we are talking astrology, with Virgo Rising + Mars in Cancer a major way that I show my affection is to cook favorite meals. But too much Aqua to take it much further than that.

what kind of virgo was i dating, acts of service my azz, only at his convenience

click to expand

I mean he's a total gentleman...I consider that sort of acts of service, but he could have just been raised well.

Anyway, I need to not forget that he is moving across the country.

Posted by P-Angel

If you're not going to be a female who is equal to men ... then step aside and let them rule.

If the thought of being ruled by and dictated to by a man leaves a bad taste in your mouth .... the solution is to practice equality.

You make no sense what so ever. If a woman doesn't want to be ruled or dictated by a man that makes her a strong woman who's capable of thinking for herself she doesn't need to practice equality she needs a strong man who can handle her dominance and not see her as a threat but an addition to his life.

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Virgo men are reserved soft on the inside hard on the outside. They take things slow and often push and pull when emotions come to surface. The fact y'all are going on dates is a good sign because they value their time they are workaholics so instead of working and planning he's giving you some of his time. They don't text a lot they live in their minds he thinks of you everyday analyzing you wondering if you and him will be long term or short term if you'd worthy or a waste of time and majority of Virgo men are shy when it comes to expressing his emotions. Next time your around him look him in his eyes that's when you'll know how he feels about you.

Posted by Underworldaries

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Virgo men are reserved soft on the inside hard on the outside. They take things slow and often push and pull when emotions come to surface. The fact y'all are going on dates is a good sign because they value their time they are workaholics so instead of working and planning he's giving you some of his time. They don't text a lot they live in their minds he thinks of you everyday analyzing you wondering if you and him will be long term or short term if you'd worthy or a waste of time and majority of Virgo men are shy when it comes to expressing his emotions. Next time your around him look him in his eyes that's when you'll know how he feels about you.

click to expand

.

I can already tell you that when we make eye contact there is SOMETHING there. I am comfortable with the lack of communication between dates now (because as I said I could see and hear that he liked me from our last date)....BUT I feel that it would be a bit of a mistake to get more attached at this point as he will be gone in two months.

Still....interesting to learn about Virgo men. I really like your explanation, very helpful and makes sense based on what I've seen from him.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by Gennie
The thing about Virgo Men is that they are Acts of Service oriented in the love language. If we are talking astrology, with Virgo Rising + Mars in Cancer a major way that I show my affection is to cook favorite meals. But too much Aqua to take it much further than that.

what kind of virgo was i dating, acts of service my azz, only at his convenience

Dude, mine even opens the car door for me. Don't hate on the whole basket cause you got the worm.

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Seriously this, theres a lot more to it than just astrology. He was probably a shitty man period. Earthy Virgos are fine....for the lady who can appreciate it. Virgo ex was involved with a Gem. It did not work out. Lack of communication, which is kinda his downfall. It's like pulling teeth to get information from Earth Dominant people, regardless of sun sign.

Posted by ashley1734
I hung out with the Virgo again last night and it felt a lot more intimate and I felt a lot more comfortable with him because he would casually mention "future" things like "Oh I'll take you there" or "we should check it out"...things like that. So I felt more at ease just from that, without expectations of any of that coming to fruition, but just the fact that I could actually feel AND hear his interest.

We also makes intense eye contact that does not break.

Fast forward to the end of dinner, he tells me he feels like he should tell me something...so we get back to his house and we are sitting on the couch and he says "I'm pretty sure I'm being transferred to Florida for a year at the end of April" and I mean I have only been hanging with this guy for a couple months so I can't say anything besides "oh" and then ask him questions about it. He kept saying "but I get to come back once a month" and "it's only a year" so I'm not sure if he was wanting us to continue to see each other, but that seems ridiculous to me. Maybe if we had been hanging out for like 6 months minimum I would consider that being an option, but as it is, this is just the universe being like "Oh you finally realize you like this guy? Too bad!"

Alls fair in love and war or something.

This is a tough one but it sounds like you're prepared to let it go which isn't such a bad thing. As you say, had you been six months in and he was definitely going for just a year then maybe it might have been worth continuing. On the other hand, neither of you seem to have rushed in which is a good thing and sometimes a slower dating process is good.

I'd consider if you feel there's enough to continue it (him too) and it suits you both, you could continue to see each other each month etc. However, you're 30 and looking for something more so is it worth potentially spending the next year on him or seeing if there's anyone else out there? It might be that you go your separate ways now, date others, maybe you do or don't find someone else and if he comes back then maybe you can start over.

At 30, I was still floating about with little direction in my love life and continuing relationships that were never going to go anywhere. I didn't feel it important to take the 'finding Mr Right to maybe marry and have a family with' seriously at all. I'm now 36 and have started to seriously think about it now. My main point here is to be clear with what you want so you don't waste time on ventures that are knowingly futile right from the beginning!

Posted by AgentP911

Posted by ashley1734


Alls fair in love and war or something.

This is a tough one but it sounds like you're prepared to let it go which isn't such a bad thing. As you say, had you been six months in and he was definitely going for just a year then maybe it might have been worth continuing. On the other hand, neither of you seem to have rushed in which is a good thing and sometimes a slower dating process is good.

I'd consider if you feel there's enough to continue it (him too) and it suits you both, you could continue to see each other each month etc. However, you're 30 and looking for something more so is it worth potentially spending the next year on him or seeing if there's anyone else out there? It might be that you go your separate ways now, date others, maybe you do or don't find someone else and if he comes back then maybe you can start over.

At 30, I was still floating about with little direction in my love life and continuing relationships that were never going to go anywhere. I didn't feel it important to take the 'finding Mr Right to maybe marry and have a family with' seriously at all. I'm now 36 and have started to seriously think about it now. My main point here is to be clear with what you want so you don't waste time on ventures that are knowingly futile right from the beginning!

click to expand

I'm definitely prepared to let it go, but at the same time, I had JUST started to see some potential there. The other thing I started to realize, is that there's a good chance he is dating others...I mean obviously, I only see him once a week, he isn't all that communicative and he seems busy, so of course I shouldn't assume he isn't dating one or several other women. I don't know why I would even still be considering wanting to see him again since he's moving, but I find myself still wanting to get to know him. I think this situation has made me realize I am definitely looking for something more stable and with longevity potential. So if nothing else, I'm glad it has shown me a little bit that I am not looking for casual anymore!

Hi, I stumbled over your post and see some familiar things.

About a year ago I wanted to share my experiences here, instead read many helpful posts that offered me some insight. Thank you
The Virgo I have been with for 3 years now used to leave me in utter confusion about our different perceptions, behaviors and expectations. The long distance relationship further intensified all this.

The 5 love languages have been mentioned here a couple of times now.It was the book that kept me from losing my mind and giving up. The acts of service are their way to make your life easier and feel appreciated.

As so many here have said before I can confirm that

-it takes an incredible amount of time for them to truly open up and let you see their selves.

In my case it took 2 years. The cold shoulder and lack of affection is something I cannot relate to my partner anymore. I see an open human being who most of the time allows himself to be vulnerable (expressing what's on the inside) , a very hard thing to do. When you look
back at the time and effort you invested and he reveals himself to be fully confident around you,when he trusts you and accepts you into his life as a potential life partner... You will cherish it in great ways. It doesn't come easy.

I don't want to generalize as each person is different. People's experiences and stories written down here have helped me understand, I wanted to share. Whatever you decide upon, pursuing a Virgo means much patience

Posted by Th111
Hi, I stumbled over your post and see some familiar things.

About a year ago I wanted to share my experiences here, instead read many helpful posts that offered me some insight. Thank you
The Virgo I have been with for 3 years now used to leave me in utter confusion about our different perceptions, behaviors and expectations. The long distance relationship further intensified all this.

The 5 love languages have been mentioned here a couple of times now.It was the book that kept me from losing my mind and giving up. The acts of service are their way to make your life easier and feel appreciated.

As so many here have said before I can confirm that

-it takes an incredible amount of time for them to truly open up and let you see their selves.

In my case it took 2 years. The cold shoulder and lack of affection is something I cannot relate to my partner anymore. I see an open human being who most of the time allows himself to be vulnerable (expressing what's on the inside) , a very hard thing to do. When you look
back at the time and effort you invested and he reveals himself to be fully confident around you,when he trusts you and accepts you into his life as a potential life partner... You will cherish it in great ways. It doesn't come easy.

I don't want to generalize as each person is different. People's experiences and stories written down here have helped me understand, I wanted to share. Whatever you decide upon, pursuing a Virgo means much patience

Any advice on how to help him feel comfortable or is time the key here? Normally when my girlfriends come to me advice I tell them that if they have to question whether or not a guy is interested, chances are, he isn't interested...but now I find myself in the same boat making the same excuses and asking the same questions wondering whether or not he is interested.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Th111
Hi, I stumbled over your post and see some familiar things.

About a year ago I wanted to share my experiences here, instead read many helpful posts that offered me some insight. Thank you
The Virgo I have been with for 3 years now used to leave me in utter confusion about our different perceptions, behaviors and expectations. The long distance relationship further intensified all this
.

The 5 love languages have been mentioned here a couple of times now.It was the book that kept me from losing my mind and giving up. The acts of service are their way to make your life easier and feel appreciated.

As so many here have said before I can confirm that

-it takes an incredible amount of time for them to truly open up and let you see their selves.

In my case it took 2 years. The cold shoulder and lack of affection is something I cannot relate to my partner anymore. I see an open human being who most of the time allows himself to be vulnerable (expressing what's on the inside) , a very hard thing to do. When you look
back at the time and effort you invested and he reveals himself to be fully confident around you,when he trusts you and accepts you into his life as a potential life partner... You will cherish it in great ways. It doesn't come easy.

I don't want to generalize as each person is different. People's experiences and stories written down here have helped me understand, I wanted to share. Whatever you decide upon, pursuing a Virgo means much patience

Any advice on how to help him feel comfortable or is time the key here? Normally when my girlfriends come to me advice I tell them that if they have to question whether or not a guy is interested, chances are, he isn't interested...but now I find myself in the same boat making the same excuses and asking the same questions wondering whether or not he is interested.

click to expand

I understand your confusion.It should not be so hard to know. I have never experienced a man in such ways before. Early on I sensed I was being tested and analyzed.I realized this was not going to be easy and yet I needed to dig deeper. I wanted to crack his hard shell.

I found him to move in his own pace, meet then retreat and think about it. Again I don't want to generalize but Patience and an enormous amount of time were the keys.

I don't suggest pouring your heart out too early, give yourselves time to form a bond with friend like structures.

Being genuine with no severe emotional displays will make him comfortable. I must admit the perfect self
control at all times gave me a hard time

Little things are being noticed. They are said to be excellent listeners and I can only confirm it.

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

click to expand

Also if you like him just focuse on him , but sure he understands your value by simply being yourself and classy. You have along road ahead of you dealing with him. If you don't see yourself with him as far as building etc than I would move on.

If you can recall something that he said a couple of months before, a place he'd like to go, food or music he enjoys..

I found him to enjoy mentally stimulating activities with a friendly sense of competitiveness.

Acts of service that take some preparation, a home cooked meal or a carefully planned day trip for example.

Soon you will want to know some answers,how he feels about you. You might crave more obvious displays of affection. It can't be pushed, he decides when he is ready and if you are worth opening up to. At his pace.

I noticed that in the early stages that the wall was quickly being built up again when things weren't going well. Again it might take patience.

If things go well and he finds you to be the right person you will slowly see the full picture hidden behind the initial aloofness.

There are some good descriptions about the Virgo man that I find spot on. Understanding their thought pattern behind their actions will make things easier.

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

Also if you like him just focuse on him , but sure he understands your value by simply being yourself and classy. You have along road ahead of you dealing with him. If you don't see yourself with him as far as building etc than I would move on.

click to expand

If it weren't for the fact that he is moving, yes I think I would like to only focus my romantic attention on him, but it's difficult to do so confidently when you are unsure about the other person's intentions. So complicated. I'm happy at least that this interaction has shown me I would like more in my dating life.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

Also if you like him just focuse on him , but sure he understands your value by simply being yourself and classy. You have along road ahead of you dealing with him. If you don't see yourself with him as far as building etc than I would move on.

If it weren't for the fact that he is moving, yes I think I would like to only focus my romantic attention on him, but it's difficult to do so confidently when you are unsure about the other person's intentions. So complicated. I'm happy at least that this interaction has shown me I would like more in my dating life.

click to expand

How long have you guys been dating ? I may have looked over that part of your situation

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

Also if you like him just focuse on him , but sure he understands your value by simply being yourself and classy. You have along road ahead of you dealing with him. If you don't see yourself with him as far as building etc than I would move on.

If it weren't for the fact that he is moving, yes I think I would like to only focus my romantic attention on him, but it's difficult to do so confidently when you are unsure about the other person's intentions. So complicated. I'm happy at least that this interaction has shown me I would like more in my dating life.

How long have you guys been dating ? I may have looked over that part of your situation

click to expand

Only a couple months but that has been very slow only once a week hangouts. Have not slept together.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by Ue305city

Posted by ashley1734
Have been going on dates with this Virgo guy about once a week and we always have a great time but he never really talks to be in between dates at all. Normally when a guy is interested, he will at least text or call every other day or so just to say hi or goodnight or goodmorning or ask what I'm doing on the weekend, but not this guy.

Our last date was last Friday and I think it went pretty well, but I have hardly heard from him since. I have pretty good instinct, but I found him difficult to read. Is this normal Virgo behavior?

He texted a couple days ago but hasn't tried to make plans with me at all (it's now Friday so I've already filled my weekend with plans).

I'm assuming he's just not interested, but if that's the case I must have read him completely wrong.

Thoughts?

Yeah virgo guys are weird like that , he's most likely semi interested and just weighing his options.. I'd just stay busy and don't show him any sign of confusion

Also if you like him just focuse on him , but sure he understands your value by simply being yourself and classy. You have along road ahead of you dealing with him. If you don't see yourself with him as far as building etc than I would move on.

If it weren't for the fact that he is moving, yes I think I would like to only focus my romantic attention on him, but it's difficult to do so confidently when you are unsure about the other person's intentions. So complicated. I'm happy at least that this interaction has shown me I would like more in my dating life.

How long have you guys been dating ? I may have looked over that part of your situation

Only a couple months but that has been very slow only once a week hangouts. Have not slept together.

click to expand

That's great he'll have more respect for you than , mine waited 4months

Gemini women are attracted to Virgo's intellect, but usually it cannot last long. Gem women get bored after some time, cause Virgo's are home type, and Gem doesn't like routine. Not a good match imho. 🙂

Posted by CrosstownTraffic
the catch here is he spends his weekends?....talking with you.

i dont like to waste my weekends with someone im not interestied in...so the fact that he does that means alot.

also years ago i never spent time during the week with anyone hardly at all.

No I don't really hear from him too much on weekends...

Posted by ozzzy
Gemini women are attracted to Virgo's intellect, but usually it cannot last long. Gem women get bored after some time, cause Virgo's are home type, and Gem doesn't like routine. Not a good match imho. 🙂

Generally, I might agree...but I think the attraction with this one could be because he has his Moon in Gemini and I have mine in Virgo...there's a sort of balance between our differing preferences.

HOWEVER, it has really started to bother me how little he communicates between seeing each other and it has really begun to come off as disinterest. I err on the more extreme side of independence (the opposite end of the spectrum being a clingy, co-dependent type woman), but even I prefer a little more attentiveness in a man, i.e. "how was your weekend?" "did you have fun camping?" "what's your week looking like?" "hope you have a good day". etc. And because I have been learning a lot (trial and error and a lot of advice from this site actually), I have been trying to give him what I would want, so I will reach out and ask how his day is and just kinda let him know I'm here and still interested.

He always responds, but the lack of initiation on his part, to me (NOT because I am some entitled old fashioned thinking woman), tells me his interest level.

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

click to expand

Is this the same Cap that was rude at the bar?

Posted by underwaterthing

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

Is this the same Cap that was rude at the bar?

click to expand

Haha yep. Same Cap for like the last 6 months. I haven't seen him since I ran into him at the bar and before this exchange of texts, our conversing has comprised of me being sweet and him being a jerk. Still kinda want to understand what happened on his end. Def not welcoming him with open arms back into my life, not that he's wanting that anyway. I want to meet him for a drink and just get some closure on the whole thing if possible, and maybe we can even have that friendship he was soooo adamant about having.

dude, seriously .... why are people so dumb?

or, are you not dumb and this is your game?


A guy won't give you the time of day until you make a sexual suggestion to him, and when he responds ... you act like he's noticing your mind for a conversation.




humans will NEVER evolve past of this shit ... because you people are all ego .. you will jump in the fire blind folded, before you'll ever have the courage to look at yourself.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

click to expand

So cute. Cap men are such saps underneath it all. Lol

Posted by Greentea

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

So cute. Cap men are such saps underneath it all. Lol

click to expand

I know. I hate it. I'm a big time sucker for him. I think that despite his shitty behavior and blatant rudeness to me, I know he isn't a bad guy...something just went very wrong for him with our situation. Not sure if it was ego or if I did something that I'm not aware of, but I really would like to find out what made him turn so sour because I swear him being a jerk to me was not natural.

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Greentea

Posted by ashley1734

Posted by Koniucha
Any news about the Cap guy?

Yes actually! He finally texted on his own...it was just "hi" so I responded "hey" and never heard anything back (that was a week ago) but hey it's a start.

On Sunday I was buying a computer so I texted him the specs and asked his opinion (I had already paid and walked out the door with my computer but I was wanting to reach out to him and it seemed like a cute excuse). We texted back and forth about it for a little bit and then the conversation died.

Last night he texted me randomly and again said he has been wanting to hit me up on his break from work to get dinner but his breaks have been too short for him to bother me. I told him let me know next time he has a longer one and I will be happy to meet up with him.

Then we talked about the weather and I was saying how cold my apartment was and sent him a pic of me burrito'd into my blankets and he said "you're welcome to come sleep next to this furnace anytime" (I used to joke that he was like a human furnace)....and I said "I've been trying to talk to you for two months...all it took was for me to tell you I'm cold?" and he said "Yes. And your face."

So cute. Cap men are such saps underneath it all. Lol

I know. I hate it. I'm a big time sucker for him. I think that despite his shitty behavior and blatant rudeness to me, I know he isn't a bad guy...something just went very wrong for him with our situation. Not sure if it was ego or if I did something that I'm not aware of, but I really would like to find out what made him turn so sour because I swear him being a jerk to me was not natural.

click to expand

Probably got jealous and you didn't react the way he wanted. Do the logical thing and ask him during a close intimate bonding moment. Be gentle about it though.