Virgo man acting uninterested! :(

Posted by crabbystaceygirl

And now... I dunno what to do. Maybe he is busy. Should I knock? I don't want to come off as desperate, needy and clingy. Should I wait for him to make a move— Which can be days or weeks! I am just afraid he will lose interest sooon! I am dreading that day when he will start liking someone else ... But before he would still knock/text me or try to stay in touch.... I don't want to fall for him but perhaps I have already... Deep down I want him to pursue me like he did in those few weeks... He would tease, care, be nice... I miss that old him...

I am a Cancer btw.

Maybe I will sound desperate... But I REALLY want to increase his interest in me... How do I do that? Above that.. I want to increase my self-respect infront of him first... and make him like me as a friend AT LEAST. I am confused... I am pretending.. Deep down I want him

i feel these same feelings when i am into someone. you are afraid of initiating contact for the fear of coming off as clingy, and you are afraid of not contacting for the fear of him losing interest. if it is just couple days since u have talked then probably he is also thinking as much as you whether to contact or not? maybe in few days if you dont hear from him, and feel like, go with your gut. if he said 'i love you' then sooner or later, one way or the other you are going to have a conversation on what it is between you two. i for one, am not good with communicating my feelings. sometimes i just let things be left unsaid, for the fear of hearing what i fear what i might hear.

So what should I do now? Give him space? Cause I want to be there for him...

I am just sooo confused!

Posted by crabbystaceygirl
So what should I do now? Give him space? Cause I want to be there for him...

it's easier for me to not reply to emails or take my time replying when i am not involved with that person. on chat, would be difficult to ignore. i might say hello, and try to end chat quickly, but guess would not ignore. at the most, i might stay invisible so that no one contacts me.

Posted by crabbystaceygirl
he replied after 2 hours. Should I reply instantly? Or give it some time? Like I said, I don't want to show that I am too available and easy.

at this point i don't think it matters if you reply instantly or wait. but dont write waiting for a reply, and he just might reply instantly. follow your gut. i know i do that too, and while i am waiting to reply, i am constantly thinking. sometimes though i naturally dont feel like responding immediately, and write whenever i feel like. in that situation i dont constantly obsess before writing. but for one thing, guys never respond like why didnt u write sooner, they just play it cool.

Previously, he would knock me whenever I would be online.. and carry on the conversation, with sweet words and all that.
These days he barely writes 10 words!! I feel like asking him "if anything is wrong?" - but I don't... what if he thinks I am trying to get too attached or something...

why show so much interest first if after I finally give in, he had to act so cool and distant?

"sometimes i just let things be left unsaid, for the fear of hearing what i fear what i might hear."


This is SOO me its awful! I have sooo many questions that I NEVER ask out of fear of getting the answer I'm afraid of. In the end I just let it be unsaid or wait until the person answers the question without me having to ask it. Its just safer that way.

@OP I agree with TheMoodyVulcan; I'd relax on him for a while. Give him a chance to remember why he was so interested and resume his chase. If you pursue now he will feel pushed and forget why he bothered in the 1st place. He may just be in one of those Virgo moods we tend to get in when we just don't feel like being bothered. Sucks but it happens.

Posted by neuroticvirgo
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@OP I agree with TheMoodyVulcan; I'd relax on him for a while. Give him a chance to remember why he was so interested and resume his chase. If you pursue now he will feel pushed and forget why he bothered in the 1st place. He may just be in one of those Virgo moods we tend to get in when we just don't feel like being bothered. Sucks but it happens.

I am not understanding how to make him resume the chase... Reply him late? or what? Act distant too ?

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
There's the guy to talk to. *points at Mr. Defense*

Haha, I guess so!

Posted by Mr. Defense
Pssst. He's not acting

So, Mr. Defense, I understand that he is not acting 😛 and he IS being distant -_- I can do what TheMoodyVulcan advised me to do... but won't it make his interest fade off within time as well?

Posted by memyself

Posted by crabbystaceygirl
he replied after 2 hours. Should I reply instantly? Or give it some time? Like I said, I don't want to show that I am too available and easy.

at this point i don't think it matters if you reply instantly or wait. but dont write waiting for a reply, and he just might reply instantly. follow your gut. i know i do that too, and while i am waiting to reply, i am constantly thinking. sometimes though i naturally dont feel like responding immediately, and write whenever i feel like. in that situation i dont constantly obsess before writing. but for one thing, guys never respond like why didnt u write sooner, they just play it cool.

click to expand

Yep...

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
If I were in your shoes (remember that this is coming from a very aloof Virgo) I would let it chill for a while. Relax. Think about whatever was said for a while--without analyzing. And then reply when you're not in an excited state. As always, I can't speak for other Virgos out there, but the thing that drives me away from people faster than anything is feeling pushed.

Mmmmhmmm..

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
You don't really have to act distant, just not immediately available. Find a project that needs to be done or maybe something that you've wanted to do for a while, and instead of waiting around to reply to whatever he has to say, do that and answer when you have a spare minute. The idea is to increase your value by having your own priorities outside of your relationship while still maintaining some interest.

It only sounds more complex than it really is.

And sometimes the guy just may not have anything relative to say.

Yup... He's analyzing his emotions and what he just said. Just chill and give him space to do so....

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
You don't really have to act distant, just not immediately available. Find a project that needs to be done or maybe something that you've wanted to do for a while, and instead of waiting around to reply to whatever he has to say, do that and answer when you have a spare minute. The idea is to increase your value by having your own priorities outside of your relationship while still maintaining some interest.

It only sounds more complex than it really is.

And sometimes the guy just may not have anything relative to say.

+1

"I am just sooo confused!"


Maybe you should have your ex boyfriend call him again to straighten things out.😢