Virgo Men, Please Weigh In

Hi! I'm new here. I recently met a Virgo man online and he was quick to make plans to get together for a drink. We had a great time and proceeded to get together twice more within the next three days. Movie and a drink and then hung out at his place on another evening.

I am a Capricorn, and generally don't take things very slow. I'm an impatient one. But I really like this one and find moving quickly sort of ruins things, so when we were at his place we started making out and I had to dial it back a little (a lot) because it was very, very hot and there was so much chemistry. It was not easy whatsoever, but he is looking for the real thing and I certainly am, too, so I felt this need to go against nature (also every friend said the same thing, go slow).

Since then we texted a tiny bit during the week and then went on a quick hike the next weekend, my idea. And then had our own plans the rest of the weekend. Now his calendar is quite full this week, but he said he'll figure something out. Told him not to bother, no need to complicate his schedule.

Question is: is he a) a Virgo who maybe has some of that Scorpio/Aries "must conquer" in him and since I held back and kept it pretty second base-style, lost some interest. (Or not even Scorpio/Aries, but maybe "looking for the real thing" was a lie?)

Or b) does he like me and feel a little intense about it and he's doing the Virgo retreat?

Apparently our two signs are a match made in Heaven but I always have dated more overtly aggressive types, so this is kind of new for me. He has never been married before, and I hear they sort of fall in love once in a lifetime, so are ultra picky. I just do the damage control Capricorn thing and when something seems not right I get out before my feelings are exposed. Don't like vulnerability at all.

Any thoughts much appreciated!
🙂

I'm no expert on Virgo, but I am sort of going through something similar with one. In the beginning, he came on hella strong and moved things more quickly than I was comfortable with, even for a cancer, lol. Then he ran away. After a couple of weeks, we began communicating again, he got critical and belligerent, and ran away, lol. Now, every time we talk, he is exerting an extreme effort to push my buttons and see what kind of emotional reaction he can get. He isn't getting a reaction at all, now. I walked away. I understand that they will do the push/pull, here today/gone tomorrow thing quite a bit with someone they are feeling. I think if they aren't into you, they walk away and don't look back. No communication or anything. Right now, I would guess that he is sizing you up and trying to decide if you are right for him or not. And that process can take FOREVER... Every description on here of Virgo, (cautious, reserved, push/pull, analytical, critical) my virgo has shown or told me he is like that. They are VERY picky. I would just fall back and see if he comes to you. But be direct with him. If he says he will work something out to see you, let him. Don't tell him not to "complicate his schedule". He will take that as you aren't really interested in seeing him. They are sensitive people whose feelings are easily hurt and they certainly can't take what they dish out. And most of all, DON'T LIE...be honest always and see what happens 🙂

And mine told me the same thing, that he is looking for the "real" thing. The problem is, their idea of "real" are some impossibly high standards to meet...lol

Posted by Cancerchick775
I'm no expert on Virgo, but I am sort of going through something similar with one. In the beginning, he came on hella strong and moved things more quickly than I was comfortable with, even for a cancer, lol. Then he ran away. After a couple of weeks, we began communicating again, he got critical and belligerent, and ran away, lol. Now, every time we talk, he is exerting an extreme effort to push my buttons and see what kind of emotional reaction he can get. He isn't getting a reaction at all, now. I walked away. I understand that they will do the push/pull, here today/gone tomorrow thing quite a bit with someone they are feeling. I think if they aren't into you, they walk away and don't look back. No communication or anything. Right now, I would guess that he is sizing you up and trying to decide if you are right for him or not. And that process can take FOREVER... Every description on here of Virgo, (cautious, reserved, push/pull, analytical, critical) my virgo has shown or told me he is like that. They are VERY picky. I would just fall back and see if he comes to you. But be direct with him. If he says he will work something out to see you, let him. Don't tell him not to "complicate his schedule". He will take that as you aren't really interested in seeing him. They are sensitive people whose feelings are easily hurt and they certainly can't take what they dish out. And most of all, DON'T LIE...be honest always and see what happens 🙂

This seems to be classic with them. The whole push/pull thing. I went through the same exact thing. I decided to not deal with him on a romantic level. But now we say hi and bye in a friendly manner. The mental manipulation was too much for me.

Posted by MiZLeo
Yes, I think they move fast in the beginning. I am dealing with two virgo men right now. They both moved very fast but I have only been on a date with one. I slept with him the first date, and our relationship is just strictly sex now (which I am 100% ok with) the other one, I have not gone on a date yet cause he has been out of town and is not back yet but he does talk to me like we have been together already and talks about a future together....even mentioned something about me moving in with him in the future a couple of times.....

I'm curious as to how the relationship with the first virgo ended up being FWB? whose idea was that, yours or his? I ask because my virgo after doing the whole "future faking" thing, tried to throw that out there to me to see if I would settle for that. There isn't anything wrong at all about that type of relationship between two adults, but that just isn't what I am looking for right now and I told him so. So I was just wondering how that came about. Thanks!

Posted by MiZLeo

Posted by Cancerchick775

Posted by MiZLeo

I'm curious as to how the relationship with the first virgo ended up being FWB? whose idea was that, yours or his? I ask because my virgo after doing the whole "future faking" thing, tried to throw that out there to me to see if I would settle for that. There isn't anything wrong at all about that type of relationship between two adults, but that just isn't what I am looking for right now and I told him so. So I was just wondering how that came about. Thanks!

It didn't get discussed until he brought it up after the 3rd time I slept with him, by that point tho I already knew what it was and what I wanted from him. Do not want a relationship with him and in all honesty he has the biggest d!ck I've ever seen and knows how to use it....so....that's really why I'm sticking around and having fun with him. If it wasn't for that I'd be gone. He's not a bad guy but there is no emotional or mental connection. If that is not what you want from your guy then don't settle for it and move on. I know that is easier said than done cause I have been there....just not with this particular person.

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Thanks for answering! Lol...its hard to stay away from those men who know what to do in the bed, I understand!

The first night we actually met, I could almost hear the click. And I knew that he was who I wanted. We connected so strongly and quickly!! I wasn't expecting that. I was just wanting to have a nice dinner and some conversation. That date lasted for hours. And neither one of us could stop focusing on each other long enough to eat. We both took our food home almost completely untouched. And he called me on his way home to tell me basically the same thing, that he was really feeling me. Our first kiss was unlike any I have ever had. He kissed me good night and it left me breathless. I *KNOW* he was feeling me. He just got scared. He told me repeatedly that I "terrified" him and that he knew he would fall hard for me. In his words, he doesn't think he would be enough for me. And wont listen when I try to tell him otherwise. Then he started playing mind games so I bounced. I wont settle for that because that isn't the kind of relationship I want. I want the real deal. I have no idea what will happen.I guess time will tell! But I'm not wasting my time on someone who isn't on the same page as me.

Posted by magma
a) Possibly. All men want sex, even the keepers. If you jump into bed with him before you are absolutely sure of him I'd recommend you do it knowing it could be a mistake, because it so often is.

b) Offering to make time for you in spite of a busy schedule doesn't sound like much of a retreat to me. Retreat is usually saying something more like, "Gee, I'm sorry, but I'm swamped this week, maybe another time." If my romantic interest told me not to bother, I would take that as our time together wasn't all that important to her and consider doing some retreating of my own, especially if I was after "the real thing".

Where are you seeing the retreat, the tiny bit of texting? Texting may not be his thing. The real thing for me means real time, personal, one on one. A live voice on the other end and face to face whenever possible, even if I have to jam my schedule even tighter than it already is.

IMO there is no match made in Heaven, I know that's just a saying. Relationships that are both good and long lasting are very deliberate, very much cause and effect, with no cruise control button.

Thanks for your message! I didn't exactly say "don't bother" (I was paraphrasing), I said more like oh my, don't worry about it! We can try next week. Didn't want him to feel the need to force it.

The retreating I noticed was from the initial three dates in four days, to one quick hike in the next two weeks. However we have been chatting and I dropped something off at his place for him today. Realizing he just is not a Scorpio, which I'm used to. So intense but less likelihood for success. I think I like him.