Virgo Retreat is a Good Thi

Virgo Retreat is a Good Thi

Sorry, the title supposed to read: "Virgo Retreat is a Good Thing", but my fingers were messed up as I was typing it... (Wondering why there is not a Delete button here?)

I have started to believe that Virgo retreat might be a blessing for their partners. I have been observing that everytime I get it, it is actually followed by a move in the direction I want. In fact, the retreat to me is just a delayed, well-crafted response. And the longer it takes him, the better or the more surprising it is.

Now I am in one of these episodes -after we got our first physical contact last week-. I saw him briefly twice since then, and he was just... too normal. We were in public, so we avoided each other like we always do. I emailed him the next day for some light work stuff and mentioned somewhere I thought he was intelligent, and he did not respond. Then I said "Here we go again!". I think he feels he screwed up -because I was the one initiated our physical contact- so he now has to do something to regain his balance. He's so vulnerable and cute! And I am here to assure him that everything is okay, and he is in safe hands. So the whole thing just turns up to a chance for me to show him that my love is for real. Isn't that a blessing or what?

Virgo's, especially the males, are easily manipulated once sex is thrown into the mix.

Are you playing him? Yesterday, I thought you were for real, but, now with this post, I'm not so sure. Don't do that, not to anybody . . it's not right. And these men are handicapped in this area . . they fall easily.

Here's why I think this now:

"that Virgo retreat might be a blessing for their partners . . everytime I get it . . a move in the direction I want"

The direction YOU WANT . . so now that you realize you can coax him into moving in the direction you want, are you throwing stuff at him, like compliments, for the purpose of manipulating him because you then said,

"emailed him the next day for some light work stuff and mentioned somewhere I thought he was intelligent"

Why do this? You were emailing about work and I'm sure he knows by now you're into him, for what purpose did you throw this compliment in?

"I think he feels he screwed up . . so he now has to do something to regain his balance."

Are you going to monopolize on this? On his feeling off balance.

"He's so vulnerable and cute! And I am here to assure him that everything is okay, and he is in safe hands."

This sounds condenscending, since you just acknowledged that he's off balance because of you being too forward with him. Him being vulnerable is cute, to you? I think it's terrible that you are perfectly aware that you put him in this position and are now saying that you think it's cute to watch . . that's sick.

"So the whole thing just turns up to a chance for me to show him that my love is for real."

Yes, this is a perfect chance for you to show him what you want him to see . . only, it doesnt' sound real to me. Likely, since he's a Virgo, he won't see it either because they aren't keen to being played . .

"Isn't that a blessing or what?"

No . . it's not. Look at the response you got from a male Virgo . . they can't see this sort of thing, but, I can . . bitch.

Stop it !!!!!!!!! They are good men and don't deserve it.

So, why did you do this?

Because after the two of you had a physical coupling . . he was too normal?

Was he suppose to fall on his face and not be normal?

This account starts with: "Now I am in one of these episodes -after we got our first physical contact last week-. I saw him briefly . . and he was just... too normal"

This is all because he was normal after you seduced him and that's just not suppose to happen, is it?

Fucking bitch.

Let me explain:

First, there is no sex, or sexual contact is involved. It was an innocent, friendly kiss on the cheek and although I initated it, he held my hand twice earlier that day. I have known him for more than a year and this was his first attempt to touch me. I did not do anything to push him to touch me. It was something coming from him but he was hesitant. So I just wanted to show him that it was welcomed. (Reassurance). Because he is still insecure to approach me.

The compliments I place in my correspondence, or my response to his stares are just a way of telling him "keep going". He needs that. But it does not mean that they are not my true feelings. I think he is the most fascinating man on earth. So, I am speaking of my mind when I say those things. But I am sending those to him with a blend of other stuff, because we are still at the early stages, and I can not tell what's in my heart directly. It'll happen somethime in the future I hope.

Finally, if you read the sentence saying "a move in the direction I want" again, you'll see that was just the result of my observation. It was not strategically planned and proven right.

I am a Gemini, and if I wanted to manipulate him just to get what I want, I would have done it already. That's the easy thing to do. But I want to nurture our reciproal feelings & friendship, understand his motives, make sure that we can have something to offer to each other first. He's valuable to me and I would not do anything that will give him false hopes.

(P-Angel, I am not upset about your interpretation, I respect to everyone's thought here. I just want to show you where I am coming from).

Just protecting the "boys" . . they are handicapped with understanding intentions and approaches . . just making sure you aren't messing with one of them.

You can call me a bitch, too, if you want to . . 🙂

Gosh, P-Angel, I felt like I was being criticised by his mother 🙂

lol . . .yeah, well, wait until later, if you ever do succeed in catching this man. Ten, twenty years down the road . . they're still boys . . letting their woman do all the work. At first, it's alright cause in general, women like to rule . .but, after time it's not so fun . . feeling like a mother ALL THE TIME . . you'll see.

All of you women will see . . once mid-life hits and you realize that they were just a good catch because of maturity, or intelligence . . but, never really "in love"

Think about it, listen to Virgo's in here, women who are with Virgo's and it's all about the women finding them, chasing them and making them realize that they should be with you.

Listen to you love4ever for the last month . . when someone is "in love" they act like it . . does he? Does SIL's fiance? Nope, just boys following whatever you tell them, once you've got them. Well, a possession is great, isn't it?

I own a car, too.

I am in my early 30s, so is he and I do often think about a shared future with him. How would it be? Would it make me happy and satisfied? Would he be a good father and husband as he is a good person? Would my love last for him? I have written before in another thread that I am scared everytime my Gemini-side surfaces. I know I can not change myself, I can only try to know myself better and improve the characteristics that will go nice with his while minimizing those that won't. But, is he worth doing that? 20 yrs later will he or I say "I was wrong, I should have chosen another life".

But then, I am thinking about our friendship, the mutual interests we have, and our respect for each other. Not as lovers but as two people who shares a mind (and we have not even started dating yet). I have done a lot of searching on him, a lot of observation. (I even wrote before that I have been keeping a journal for him for the past 10 months). At the end, I can see and understand him, why he does certain things. This feeling of trust and closeness, by soul. I can say that, at least on my part, there is much more than love. Now, I am just hoping and praying that he has the same for me and we will find a way to express this to each other.

P-Angel,

Is it Pisces-angel or pisses-angel? Your comments are always intelligent..but there's often an odor of cynicism.... Perhaps this relationship will work out...many do...many people are happy...

Keep believing, P-angel that one day something amazing, positive, different will happen in your life, too, despite what you're going through now...

Eaglegirl

"Now, I am just hoping and praying that he has the same for me and we will find a way to express this to each other."

And if he doesn't? It's been 10 months, don't you think that a person "in Love" acts like they are in love?

After waiting, for however long it takes . . if he decides that you must be worthy of more efforts from him . . IF . . then what?

Love isn't somethign that's decided . . it's something that's felt . . don't you know that?

Typical Scorpio . . expect nothing less.

"Your comments are always intelligent..but there's often an odor of cynicism...."

No shit, thank you wise one . . I would have never known if you hadn't told me,lol

love4ever,

Just think about it . . why all the work? For 10 months, you've been doing everything you can to get his attention, to get him to even notice you . . is that what you want?

You don't want to be desired?

You just want him to want you because you want him?

How long will that be satisifying?

What if 10 years go by and you're still doing all the work?

So long as your talking, he's answering . . what happens when you stop talking?

Don't you think if he wanted to converse with you, he would?

Do the Virgo's in here seem shy to you? Don't they speak up?

Take a step back and look at the women in here who are with Virgo's and read what they are saying . . THEY do all the frigging work . . still, the Virgo's just sit back and do nothing.

SIL by her own accounts, has directed every aspect of her union with Virgo . . do you want that? Or, do you want a partnership?

It doesnt' get better, they don't change . . 20 years later . . still the same fucking shit.

I remember Branh saying about a month ago that he's never been "in love" . . I wonder if any have . . if a person has to decide to be in love, then they aren't.

"But, is he worth doing that? 20 yrs later will he or I say "I was wrong, I should have chosen another life"."


Love isn't a decision . . it's a feeling. Even when you talk, like right here, you're speaking as though it's a matter of what choice is made and then left to wondering if the right thing was done.

ARe we talking about people, or products?

Chosen a better life? What does that mean?

You don't chose love . . it finds you.

I had a friend of mine who married a black man and all her family was in uproar about it (I know, not me . . them), anyway . . . love finds you . . nothing else matters, she told them because it's the truth.

I find it very disturbing the things you've said about working this guy, trying to get him to even notice you were alive . . now, he's starting to pay attention to you the way you want him to . . and your just hanging on his every word . . I find it disturbing reading other women's comments in here about their Virgo men, like they are some great catch because they offer something other than being "in love". What is it that's so great?

What about being desired in your feminity? How long have you been chasing him? Ten months? And you got a kiss on the cheek?

Wow, congrats . . . you got a kiss on the cheek and nothing more.

Is it really worth it? Is that all you mean, all your worth?

It doesn't get any better . . this is it . . this is all they got. The rest is up to you . . a life with him will be soley at your discretion . .

Master of the domain, not a partnership.

I know . . I'm being a total ass today. You can say it, I already know.

P-Angel, it is true that it was me who got interested in him first. (But for many people I guess this is how a relationship starts). We were working for the same organization but out of different divisions, so we did not get to see each other very often. This took us a while to even notice each other (more than a year actually). When finally I noticed him I thought he was a very nice person, so I wanted to learn more about him. At that time, I still have not completely got over my last relationship. As I learned about him, my liking and interest started to grow into an admiration. This took a while as well (maybe another two to three months). Only after then, I decided to introduce myself to him. And yes, I arranged an occasion to meet him. We met, and he did not pick up my liking at first. In addition to his shyness, he was a manager and making friends with a front-line worker easily was not too much of a possibility. So, it took us another 4-5 months to know each other and establish a formal level of friendship. I can confirm that I took every chance that came to my door to see and talk with him, but I never tried to be someone else.

Anyhow, that's how the last 8-9 months has passed. In the meantime, he started to give me the famous stare, and started to show a gradually increasing interest. He was running into me more often, was initiating talks, was asking people about me, etc.

Finally about a month ago, I texted him and told him how much I cared about him and how that led me to meet him. He has not responded to this one and disappeared -so to speak- for about two weeks. I have not not pushed things further or got upset with him. At the end, he returned and suddenly became my protector, my supporter and my #" fan. (Oh I forgot to mention that on 2-3 times we were in some kind of social gathering, and he almost hit on me. The last time was this new year's eve, when he held my hand and we kissed each other).

This is a recap of my story. Can you still say that things could have progressed faster under these circumstances? I doubt it, however, some of my close friends will agree with you on that. But they are not in my shoes either, so I just smile and hold on to my hopes.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. If it was not meant, it would have ended long time ago -like some others I have had in the past-.

What would have ended a long time ago? Nothing even started to end.

If you want this man . . you have to take him, take charge . . otherwise, this is it.

Sounds like your extremely submissive . . Virgo's are too, they'll wait a lifetime for a person to be aggressive with them . . they won't do it.

Apparantly, that's what you want too because you said, "Can you still say that things could have progressed faster under these circumstances?" and truly believe that this is as best as it can get under the circumstances. Listen to your friends, they're trying to tell you something that's valuable, for your own good.

He's NOT going to take control . . he's Virgo, he's submissive . . 10 years, you two could still be holding hands and making googly eyes at each other.

I truly hope, for your sake . . that he decides you are worth his time, since you are the one putting forth all the effort and time.

P-Angel, I guess you have your reasons to look at things that way and you are only trying to warn me for my own good. I appreciate that. However, as you say, you do not choose love, it finds you. The only thing you choose is how you will respond to it. I can close my door and convince myself that this will never work out anyway. Or, I can put my best foot forward and see what happens. In that case, I think the first one is not a real choice, it's just "not making a choice". The second one is where I make a choice and if you are criticising submissiveness, then you should encougare me for making my choice.

I'm just being an ass. I'm actually married to a Virgo, lol

You'd better get used to this because if you ever get him . . he'll critisize everything you do, lol . . . normally, Pisces aren't like this . . this is what happens over a prolonged period of time of never doing anything right . . nobody is good enough and they'll let you know . . look at what happens.

In fact, every women ought to take a good look at me and see what happens after 24 years of living with a friggin Virgo, who is never happy with anything you do . . . voila . . ain't life fucking grand?

far too friggin long . . and trapped . . the good housewife . . spent a damn lifetime taking care of someone else . . for what?

Now, what the hell is there for me?

No fucking career . . nothing, but damn laundry and dirty dishes.

Life sucks . . big time.

I'm just pissing because I've squandered my life, for nothing . . a waste.

For him? He's not happy . . how can he possibly be happy?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I could divorce him and take HALF of everything . . that would be enough . . he makes a healthy salary . . but, I didn't make any money. My conscious wouldn't let me justify taking him like that . . fucking bastard.

I hate men . . I'm gonns be a lesbian in my next life.

because he hasn't done anything wrong . . he's a good man

terrified that IF i ever got the guts to leave . . i'd find out that it's not any better on the other side of the rainbow . . i don't know, because i still love him

and i hate him because i have to live for him and not for me . . what about me?

"Love isn't a decision...it's a feeling"

Spoken like a true adolescent...

P-Angel, nothing in your life qualifies you to give advice. You admit that your life sucks and that you are cynical...so where do you get off trying to analyse other people's relationships?

You are not correct about Virgos sitting back and doing nothing in their relationships...what about Dy?

Eaglegirl

if i hit a lottery . . i'd be out so fast

if i got an inheritence . . i'd be out

i'm not gonna take his money . . i cant' do that and still live with myself . . dammit

Eaglegirl, you can go fuck yourself

The only fucking thing you know about Dyr is what he tells you, dumbass

Read between the lines . . he's pussy whipped, just like the rest of the bastards

Geeeeez, get brains before you talk to me, bitch

Okay, I apologize.

I just hate to see people in a rut. They exude negativity...

Don't see why you can't live with yourself if you get some of his money (not that I would *dare* to offer you advice, P-Angel). Haven't you emotionally supported him? Doesn't that count for anything?

I dare say you know all this....

Now please don't jump down my throat again.

Eaglegirl

So you are a fish lady, not a sel"fish" lady.

Leaving something behind and going for the unknown is definitely a harder decision than what I am onto now.

Emotionally supported him?

Hell yeah, and everything else in the service of a good wife . . that asshole.

I'm just bitching . . ignore me.

P-Angel, instead of your anger and disappointment, why don't you give us some insight about what went wrong with your love? How was your relationship at the beginning, what were you expecting from your future with your Virgo and where did he disappoint you? And more importantly, how come you have not seen that coming?

Love4ever,


Yeah, she's a fish lady which is why she's always "carp"-ing...lol

I think it's always better to leave something behind and go for the unknown.

My life is so much better since I left my husband...

If you're unhappy, do something. Anything. There isn't really one right decision. But life is all about change and taking a risk.

I haven't found my new soul-mate yet. But I've had a number of very interesting relationships with men, and I feel alive and excited again.

P-Angel, I know you like to point out people's illusions. But sometimes life is all about illusions, dreams, hopes for the future. That's actually a better place to live than in a present that is dead-end, stuck. IMO of course.

Eaglegirl

Oh, and how do you relate them to my experience? Where I should look at more carefully? (I should probably mention that I have a degree and a good career and my own saving that I could use in case anything goes wrong in my marriage/ or LTR in the future- with him or with any other man). So what else I should be worry about?

Marriage isn't the same now as it was back then. It was common for a woman to become a housewife and her job is to raise the family . . there's nothing different now in my marriage that wasn't present years ago . . it's just my job is over and I'm left with nothing.

I'm done, but, still alive. It's easy for young women, who still have their looks, energy and vitality . . I'm old, a grandmother, my youthful figure is gone, everything is gone, my mother, my son . . . my job is done and all's that's left is a life of continued duty to keep serving a man . . a fucking man.

Women get old . . their life is done. You think a man's gonna look at someone my age? Hell no . . it's all about youth and beauty . . everybody knows that. So, what if I did get the balls to leave? For what?

To find another man to serve? Fuck that. Even if I did find one . . . at this point in their life, they can't even keep a hard-on . . wtf————

P - i think your posts are heart wrenching and enlightening..... i feel your pain... i have been where you are at... well i did have a career, now i work just part-time cuz he makes a good salary.... but i think i am getting better (i mean i'm not so much in the my life sucks i want to leave mode anymore).....

maybe roxi is right - maybe after 20 years they all turn into boys who want their mommies, but i don't think so....

i think everything you write about virgos is so true - after 20 yrs i think you know.... but it rings true with things i've experienced and read about them...

so, you feel like he never really was 'in love' or showed you love/romance... that is what they say about the sign... they show their love by doing things for you not by being 'romantic'.... so i want to hear more... it will make me feel better ha! so, you don't feel like he is happy either? they say virgos will stay forever even when they are miserable... maybe they don't like change... also read and had him tell me - they have a fear of being poor/destitute when older so don't want to split up money - i.e., get a divorce....

do you have any kids? oh, i remember the one you mentioned is that it - he's grown now tho.... AND, most important, don't stay becuz you feel like you are taking his money!!! puhleezz, all the work you've done around the house, taking care of him, the child, the home/hearth, cooking, cleaning, etc., etc. that's a CAREER!!! you deserve half of everything.... don't think you didn't contribute -- you did!!! and so you deserve half.... don't feel bad.... if you are truly miserable you should get out, especially if you don't have children at home... you have the other half of your life to live....

also, if you don't have kids, you just need to take care of yourself now - have fun, adventure... do something you enjoy as career, whatever.... but do it now, cuz if you wait another 10+ years you'll never go....

but tell me more about the Virgo man so that i can feel better about not having him in my life.....

Don't sit back and wait for a man to love you.

You'll be waiting until your my age and still wondering what you have to do.

Also, yeah, it is about looking good and feeling good -- but if you have intelligence, a sense of humour - a good personality -- looks are easily fixable -- you can start going to the gym, running, walking, etc.....

go to a spa, get a makover..... you act like you are freakin 80 and ready to kick,
so what if you are in your 40s..... i am --- and people think i am in my 30s!

you can look better, you just need to get out there and do stuff FOR YOURSELF!!!

I'm sorry I was yelling at everyone . . I didn't mean to . . I'm kind of lost right now.

my older sister said the same thing the other day--- maybe i'll become a lesbian and find the love of my life -- HA!!! i think as we get older we women get better and the men don't, so yeah, why leave one situation, just for another--- Well, DONT....

leave for yourself -- have fun, adventures, go on a cruise, go work on a ranch, join a bookclub, a mountaineering club, i dunno, those are all things i think about doing sometime -- go backpacking through Europe for a year!!!! if i didn't have kids at home, there have been some days where i was so ready to get outta dodge...

So Eaglegirl how long were you married? What sign is he? Did you have any kids? how long have you been divorced? are you happy/happier?.....

cuz women who have been married awhile, we do wonder.... but everyone's situation is different...

Change isn't easy . . the older I get, the more it scares me. I do things that I enjoy, but, that's not the same. There's nobody to share things with. I mean, there's friends, but, not someone intimate . . and that's really important to a woman . . to me, anyway.

Men dont' care about that . . they only care if their favorite jeans are clean, or what's for supper.

I'm not gonna cheat on him . . I've never done that and I dont' approve of that sort of thing . . so, my morals won't allow me to find someone while we're still together.

Some days, I wanna die . . I know it's just a mid-life crises and it'll pass . .but, it's so hard.

A friend of mine asked me to go on a cruise with her . . maybe I should go. I told her no because . . I don't know why I told her no . . but, I should go, shouldn't I?

Roxi - i thot he cheated on you or something? No, well, then why did you two separate -- after years of disrespect and verbal abuse you finally told him to get out or what? just wondering....

P - tell us more about your Virgo guy marriage -- so he doesn't cheat or beat or anything, just comes home and sticks to his rigid schedule and that's life?....

Shaka . . you can't see them? You can't go to them? That's aweful . . now, I feel selfish for yelling about my problems, when your seperated from your family. I'm sorry.

YES - Of Course you should go on CRUISE!!! Call her right now and tell her you changed your mind -- OMG - i would go in a second! You need to go,it's the answer to your prayers maybe...

Oh, and YES, that is what it's all about -- intimacy - emotional connection!!! That is what i have been missing these past few years becuz he has been so focused on his career -- and men, they really don't get it.... they think if you have a nice house, car, go on vacation.. that life is grand and you should be extremely happy if not happy.....

but i'm not, i'm working on things, going to counseling and trying to tell him how i feel.... cuz yeah, i want the emotional connection, the intimacy.... cuz that's all that really matters in the end...

so Virgos are not capable of emotional intimacy? did you ever have it with him?

He's a good guy, he really is. He's kind, gentle and considerate. He's never hit me, and he comes home every day . . calls if he's gonna be late . . a really nice man.

It's just, he's not . . . I don't know . . it's just me . . I want something else, I guess. He doesn't touch me . . that's hard, because it makes me feel unloved.

I think I will go, Roxi . . on the cruise. You get panic attacks?

Maybe somebody will look at me "that way" . . not that I would do anything, but, it would make me feel like a woman again.

Lindawin,

I was married 7 years...he was a Cancer...yes I became his mommie though he was 10 years older....he was my soulmate at first.

I have two daughters...two jewels...loves of my life.

I'd rather not go into too many details...he was very critical and unforgiving of me, and tried to punish me for my "mistakes". I can't live in that kind of environment as I'm very sensitive. I started getting a lot of colds, and my creativity went down the sink.

It took a good four years for me to be really healed, but finally I pulled it together. No, it wasn't easy getting divorced not by any stroke of the imagination, but my life is infinitely better now.

If you want to be happy you can be. If you don't want a grandmotherly figure, go to the YMCA. Yes, it'll take 2 years to get into shape, but you'll be two years older anyway.

You can start over at any age...but of course if you don't believe what I'm saying, then you won't convince yourself.

As for men...my girlfriend at age 49, a single mom, just bagged herself a younger hottie who is crazy about her.They been living together for two years and he just asked her to marry him. Why? Because this woman never gives up. I've never known her not to be dating...out there...continuing to live life no matter what society says about her age or status.

Hey, this is a true story.

Eaglegirl