virgo Woman Alcoholic and Loving loyal Scorpio Man

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Bridgo1978
@Bridgo1978
7 Years

Comments: 37 · Posts: 4 · Topics: 1
Alcoholics...?

Do alcoholics ever realise how wrong they were about someone who loved them soooo much and only wanted to help them stop drinking so they could see the truth and how life could be better and happier? Do they ever realise that the lies and twisting and pain they caused and actually make it up to the person they hurt and i believe in my heart truly loved and connected with? To keep a very long story short... I fell in love with the most amazing woman i have ever met and for the first time in my life fell in love and first kiss... We connected on so many levels sexually mentally and emotionally and she was a joy to be around no matter what we did. When we were together we were like two peas in a pod, but when we were apart we argued about our insecurities and lack of empathy and affection or if she had done something silly while drunk or hurtful or injured herself. The more this happened the more I tried to show her love and i see now this only made things worse she was so paranoid and nasty when drunk and ruined all major social occasions birthdays anniversaries Christmas etc. I truly loved and still love the woman i believe is in side and her she is my soul mate. I don't blame her anymore as have educated myself so much and been to AA meetings and Al-Aonon groups and will continue to do so. Things got so bad I couldn't focus anymore I was so worried about her all the time. I have since realised I was enabling her drinking and even rescued her from killing herself and when she drunk drove and damaged her car. Despite this she hated me more and despite me sincerely trying to show her true love she rejected me and blamed me telling so many distorted horrible lies to her family and friends and in the end the police to which nearly cost me my own life as I tried to kill myself to think the girl of my dreams could hate me so much. I even nearly went to prison for harassment but honestly I became so worried and obsessed with her safety and proving my love that it just made things worse. I only ever wanted to show her true love take care of her and try to make her dreams come true. She knew exactly how i would react to situations and used it to turn people against me even her family who when I initiated and intervention were lovely to start with but then she twisted everything onto me... Even to this day I haven't told anyone why she started drinking but now i am left truly heart broken in the worst way possible.

1) because watching someone you truly love killing themselves and not being able to save them is heart breaking

2) Them rejecting your love and accusing you and blaming you for their addiction is heart wrenching

3) Them carrying through the unthinkable when deep down they know you love them so much is soul destroying.

I could give so many examples of bad things she did and yes I made many mistakes myself as am far from perfect but everything was well intention ed... I I tried everything even tried getting us pregnant as she said that she never drunk when she was pregnant... I thought it would give her focus and a reason to stop and see how much I loved her as having a child was a massive step for me. Anyway this is all in the past but what I would like to know from any sober AH is it possible one day she will contact me sober and fully clean and rekindle the soulmate love i believe we have? I wouldn't even need to discuss the past just focus on the future providing that shit never happened again. I understand much more about what she is going through and how i reacted made things worse. But do recovering alcoholics ever realise their true love?? and have happy ever after? If she was ill due to not being able to walk I would carry her, if she was blind I would describe the beauty of the world to her and if she needed any part of me for her to be better and happy I would give it gladly... I am a true believer in love conquers all and my love for her is truly unique and eternal. I say a prayer every single day but i have truly lost my best friend my soul mate and the love of my life to this devil juice addiction. I forgive her everything even me being locked up and now have an harassment order I don't care about that as believe it was the addiction... when i tried to leave her she sent me a facebook link about two exes who bump into each other and still love each other but make the wrong assumption. They then talk to a mutual friend and get back together as communication and misunderstand was the error. it's truly sad as i know in my heart if she could stop drinking and tell the truth and admit her love for me we could face everything together and keep the support she has felt she had to lie and manipulate to keep. I truly don't care about the past the future is the important thing now... I am currently educating myself and have got myself back in tip top shape rebuilding my life reconnecting with family and friends lost. I know I am becoming a better person because of this experience but with every part of me I pray that she will get well and realise how strong powerful and genuine my love for her is and that I would do anything to take all her pain and addiction away and build a happy loving fun life together. It's truly the saddest story I can imagine... Can anyone help IS THERE ANY CHANCE TRUE LOVE WILL WIN?