Loneliness is not equal to living solitude?.solitude is what we chose to be, in loneliness we don't have that luxury, loneliness is something that happen and usually is very painfull.
virgoess33 .. I don't think you're nuts, rather, just too serious and rigid about the meaning of the "real deal".
Life is about enjoying and being happy .. if it's put in someones mind that they can ONLY be happy with a certain pre-determined set of criteria .. then, yeah, finding a real deal would be extremely difficult and would force you to live a lifetime of lonliness.
However, if a person ALLOWED themselves to enjoy life without this "set of rules" that is expected of the other person .. they would find that there are tons of people who spark different sides of you that cause you to smile.
To be happy .. it doesn't require being "in love" .. it doesn't require it to be real. It only requires you to want to enjoy other people BECAUSE of their differences.
If everybody was the same and "fit" into your expectations .. then everybody would be unhappy because there is nothing new to learn or experience. To want a certain type of person who isn't unique .. then in reality, you cause you're own misery because you will always be alone because NOBODY is you, therefore nobody can live up to your expectations because they aren't you .. they are them.
I prefer being alone any day to being with someone who I know is not that "special" someone. Hey! No-one's going to control MY freedom unless they damn well desrve it!😉 (Few will ever). I enjoy being alone really. I don't enjoy being lonely. Occassionaly, I could get to the lonely stage, but then, I would just go out and socialize heavily and get over it. I was alone for about 2 years inbetween relationships, and I was o.k. with it.
I know what you mean virgoess33, sometimes I just prefer to be single. Sometimes people ask me why I am not seeing anyone, like it's a crime, and I just simply tell them that I choose to be. There are just times when I like to be on my own (and relationships invest a lot of time and energy lol)...
"and relationships invest a lot of time and energy"
Yes, they do .. it's not surprising to me that Virgo's think that investing time and energy into developing relations with others as a waste .. though, it's unfortunate because life is supposed to be shared "with" others, not sitting back and waiting for it to be "bestowed" upon you.
How do you know who's real if your not participating in relating .. it doesn't make sense to me.
I've been solo for the past 10 years. I hooked up with many in that time but no serious relationship cuz I haven't found the one that fits my standards.
Standards are good to have but they must be realistic and you realy must know yourself well before you can stick to them. Maturity dictates.
I find it a waste of time & energy when you are with someone that doesn't work well. you should be able to know before you get into a relationship by not rushing and really observing.
Life is beautiful being single. so much freedom. but being with the RIGHT person will lift you to incredible heights.
Now Now P-Angel..no one said it was a waste...just a preference to remain single. Like eating chocolate ice cream verses cherry vanilla. We are participating in relating...but when single, it's just not on a intimate level. I think we share life very well (virgo in general). And any virgo who is alone will be the first to attest that they are not sitting back waiting for life to be bestowed on them. To the contrary, when you Are alone, you seek your own avenues of interaction. We just have a preference....HMMMMMMM: Do I REALLY feel like going to that party tonight? OR am I just feeling social pressure to go? Nah...Think I'll stay home where I know the company is good(OR) Oh Yeah! Feel like partying my ass off tonight. Get to sleep in tomorrow and nobody will care...No outside forces gunning at you. (at least that's ME when I'm single).
"Hey! No-one's going to control MY freedom unless they damn well desrve it! (Few will ever). I enjoy being alone really. I don't enjoy being lonely."
You all just don't make sense to me .. walking contridictions, lol
If wanting to be alone and not spending time in developing relations with people, then how do you know who is deserving? It takes more than just "partying" on Saturday night to find out who a person really is .. furthermore, if the desire is to spend more quality time alone than with the "other", than how deserving does that make you to the other person? Do you even care?
If spending time alone is the preference .. then how can you then say, you don't like being lonely? Didn't you create this lonliness yourself by thinking that others aren't deserving of you?
You Virgo's just don't make sense to me .. you demand others to adhere to your standards and if they don't, then they don't deserve you, yet, gripe because nobody understands you .. ah, dah ... helloooooooooooooooooooo
Makes no sense whatsoever .. I thought you all were suppose to be full of logic?
Even this here fish has more common sense than that ..
"I find it a waste of time & energy when you are with someone that doesn't work well. you should be able to know before you get into a relationship by not rushing and really observing."
lol, in other words .. it's a waste of time to spend time and energy at developing a relationship .. so, just sit back a wait for the perfect person to be bestowed upon you.
P-Angel:being alone is a state of "Being". Lonliness is a state of mind/emotion. You can be one without being the other. (ya she got me LOL)! Hey my quote about not being controlled was HALF in jest. Soooo nah nah nah can't use that against me. We are not all logical little robots though P. Like I said, we interact well. We choose very carefully WHO and WHEN. You know, some people really DON'T! I know you think we are walking contradictions, but, I think that people who just struggle to make something work when it doesn't click is self defeating. My goal is to be with someone who sets my soul on fire, and appeals to me on MY scale, and I on theirs. The chemistry, the intellect, communication...yeah you have to spend SOME time with a person, but don't most of us know pretty quickly if we hit it off or not? I do.
PM: Selective Vision indeed! I have noticed this "skip over" often! Much that is said that is pertinant is often left by the roadside because it does not support the argument.😉
I'm a warrior of a diffent kind....Pluto. There is no sense in a debate or argument. (Like war it ain't good for nothin) This place is more like a paper canvas for us to express who we are...These pages should be called "galleries" instead of forums. We just paint ourselves all over the place, in a setting where we can be displayed in anonymity. It's great!
I know Angel...I have read alot of your entries, and you are a great conversationalist, and you bring up very interesting points. It's good to make us V's reflect on ourselves. We ARE mutable, and we do mull over the wise words of others. Some-times even CHANGE! OMG...What's happening to me here.....I think I swallowed some LIBRA DNA! 🙂luv ya P-Angel!
Message posted by: virgoess33 on 2/8/2007 6:57:34 AM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.183 How common are we?
Well, virgoess33, it appears that you're pretty common, lol
Even with another person .. alone seems to be the common trait. My husband feels alone a lot, even with his family in the room.
But, really .. spending a lot of time with only your own counsel will serve nothing except to enforce your own perception .. which is biased .. it's through "others" that we as humans can find growth .. it's not healthy for your well-being and maturity.
There is no such thing as a "perfect" partner, for the only person who is perfect for you is .. you. Nobody is real, and everybody is real .. to themselves .. themselves only.
"But, really .. spending a lot of time with only your own counsel will serve nothing except to enforce your own perception .. which is biased .. it's through "others" that we as humans can find growth .. it's not healthy for your well-being and maturity.
There is no such thing as a "perfect" partner, for the only person who is perfect for you is .. you. Nobody is real, and everybody is real .. to themselves .. themselves only."
PA: I know the perserverence of the Pisces spirit! I have seen it in incredible action. Gawd....honeslty don't know where I'd be if it weren't for that woman's guts....8 kids and she raised them all by herself...then...she lost 5 before she left. Don't know how, but she never became bitter at the hand she was dealt and always had an encouraging word. What a tribute to the human spirit she was...even on death bed. You know what? You'll be such a great grandmother! 🙂
Awww, that was so sweet ..thank you Jw .. I love my son (Scorp) so much and now there's little ones popping out, lol. So far, I got a Libra girl, Gem Boy and soon my little Pisces girl.
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Am I nuts here?