Virgos and negativity

I'm going through an issue with my cancer bf right now and it's over my disposition being so negative at times. He says he wants me to change and be upbeat and postitive the majority of the time and not just every so often. That when I'm negative or gloomy, it drags him down as well. He's very outgoing and cheerful most of the time. I want to be that way too not only for me but for the sake of our relationship. He now says he wants space for me to work on that and for things to get better, which is fine. But now I can't help but worry endlessly about what's going to happen. Isn't that a virgo trait to worry a lot? My question is what is the best thing I could do right now to bring him back? There were other little issues and we've had past break ups but he always comes back. But everytime we go through this, I'm a nervous wreck until things calm down. 😢

@SomnambulistWolfen

This was one of the biggest problems I had with my

ex-Virgo... the cynicism was too much.

Bitter even.

And what bothered me most was that he wouldn't

consider even for a moment that things might work

out well... he took NO chances-- not even little ones.

He could foresee everything that *might* go wrong.


Sometimes doing even just the littlest thing differently

can have a big effect... leave early so you can take the

scenic route to work.

Pay a couple of extra dollars to get what you want, instead

of what will do.

And don't do it for him... do it for yourself.

Posted by SomnambulistWolfen
That when I'm negative or gloomy, it drags him down as well.

Oh poor him, he needs you to be like him or else he cannot control his moods and you're dragging him down.

Won't comment on Virgo negativity, other posters will have that covered.

That comment he made would not sit right with me. I'm upbeat and happy most of the time but I never told a partner of mine they should just be like me if that wasn't their natural inclination. I don't think people should conform to my disposition. Sure, it would be cool from my point of view for them to match me in this but I am with them for a reason. If I wanted a totally different personality, I'd go for someone else.

Posted by SomnambulistWolfen
I'm going through an issue with my cancer bf right now and it's over my disposition being so negative at times. He says he wants me to change and be upbeat and postitive the majority of the time and not just every so often. That when I'm negative or gloomy, it drags him down as well. He's very outgoing and cheerful most of the time. I want to be that way too not only for me but for the sake of our relationship. He now says he wants space for me to work on that and for things to get better, which is fine. But now I can't help but worry endlessly about what's going to happen. Isn't that a virgo trait to worry a lot? My question is what is the best thing I could do right now to bring him back? There were other little issues and we've had past break ups but he always comes back. But everytime we go through this, I'm a nervous wreck until things calm down. 😢

Figure out WHY you are negative and gloomy. That behavior would drag anyone down. You ask "what is the best thing I could do right now to bring him back?" It's simple...he told you work on the negative and gloomy...meaning work on yourself first. He isn't your bandaid. Figure it out.

Posted by Ixion120

Posted by Damnata

Posted by SomnambulistWolfen
That when I'm negative or gloomy, it drags him down as well.

Oh poor him, he needs you to be like him or else he cannot control his moods and you're dragging him down.

Won't comment on Virgo negativity, other posters will have that covered.

That comment he made would not sit right with me. I'm upbeat and happy most of the time but I never told a partner of mine they should just be like me if that wasn't their natural inclination. I don't think people should conform to my disposition. Sure, it would be cool from my point of view for them to match me in this but I am with them for a reason. If I wanted a totally different personality, I'd go for someone else.

Funnily enough having past experiences dating someone with clinical depression, I know how extended periods of gloominess can bring someone down. If it isn't clinical depression or some other mental health issue, then honestly? That person should exercise emotional control.

No one wants a clone. But letting emotions run roughshod ALL the time? That kind of imbalance is not healthy for anyone.

click to expand

No, if this isn't clinical depression or some other mental health issue..then honestly the partner of that person should go for someone more upbeat. If that is her natural inclination. It's quite a long shot between being gloomy and negative and not exercising emotional control.

Upbeat people overestimate the gloominess and negativity in others because they cannot relate to it that well.

I see your point regardless. For me it would speak volumes (in a bad way) if my partner would adress an issue ending it with "..you bring me down". Would tell me he doesn't really care about the issue at hand within me and more about how I should brood elsewhere. Focused on the result and not the cause.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
I thought it was cancers regardless of gender who can get moody and have negative energy, and when they're moody, every one just has to deal with it until it passes...but he can't handle it and help bring you out of your gloom but suggests you to change. Why do you virgos deal with this shit?...I'm just saying bc they say virgos and cancers are compatible but when you hear the stories it's like the cancer controls the virgo all the time.

In any relationship, there are 2 people who is in control, however, they are not in control at the same time.

Posted by SomnambulistWolfen
I'm going through an issue with my cancer bf right now and it's over my disposition being so negative at times. He says he wants me to change and be upbeat and postitive the majority of the time and not just every so often. That when I'm negative or gloomy, it drags him down as well. He's very outgoing and cheerful most of the time. I want to be that way too not only for me but for the sake of our relationship. He now says he wants space for me to work on that and for things to get better, which is fine. But now I can't help but worry endlessly about what's going to happen. Isn't that a virgo trait to worry a lot? My question is what is the best thing I could do right now to bring him back? There were other little issues and we've had past break ups but he always comes back. But everytime we go through this, I'm a nervous wreck until things calm down. 😢

LMAO. This Cancer. The pot calling the kettle black. ROFL.

I'm a virgo and I'm usually negative and pessimistic most times; it brings a lot of strain on my relationships w men. Although the man I'm with now (cancer) is a LTR with breaks and I always go back to him. I was with a Aqua and he hurt me terribly; like I was nothing