why are virgos so manipulative?

Started seeing my now ex feb 2014. All was well for afew months until he had a death in the family. He hit the drink (alcoholic proportions) lost his motivation enthusiasm etc.i stuck by him. Im very domesticated.I cooked cleaned his shit mopped his brow cleaned up his sick. Even stupidly turned a blind eye when he was verbally abusive almost daily whilst paraletic drunk....

Then a disappearing act for five weeks. This hurt as he wouldnt reply to texts or calls and I was genuinely worried he would turn up dead threw drink and drugs! Stupidly when I found out his mum and siblings hadn't heard from him I didnt take it so personal. After an ultimatum he finally came home and things slightly improved. For a while anyway.

Few months down the line sex completely stopped altho I know he has a porn addiction which was hard to get round especially when he would turn down my advances. Im not a bad looking girl n im efficient in the bedroom lol. I brought up the topic n got called a sex addict which is unfare as once a week is on the lower end to what im use to but that hardly constitutes a sex addict Iin my opinion.

As the time continued I noticed his friends falling away as he systematically pushed everyone away with his drunk abusive behaviour.

I must admit I love this man dearly. Looking at the facts before me and being a logical person I should have walked away. But how could I leave him in his time of need. We broke up couple more times and I got the feeling that altho he said the words love that he was just using me for money for drink and clean shelter and cooking. Forward to the last two weeks tomy horror I realised Iim pregnant.

I told him and he was very excited. He told his parents and told my son even tho I told him I wasnt comfortable with that. Afew days later he came homedrunk and abusive towards me and my daughter which was very upsetting. The next morning I chachallenged his behaviour and stated that if the drink didn't stop he would have to leave.

So he left. Now he doesnt want the baby. He wants me to terminate the pregnamcy. So far hadnt come to any of my hospital appointment s. Yesterday I found out im 8 weeks gone already. I informed him over text and he didnt seem bothered. I feel that everything he claimed was a lie and I was a mug. He came round last nyt told me he was sick of the rut and tried to pin the problems all on me. I tried to get him out of the rut but his heavy drinking and hangovers made him reluctant to leave the house.

I ignored all the advice from friends and his family and now im literally left carrying the baby. Was I played for a fool? Iv never been treated this way. Im 29 and hes 26. My last relationship lasted 10 years so I know mosly what makes men tick and relationships work but I could never figure this one out. I ignored narcissisic tendency and chalked it up to grief. Oh how wrong I was. Do I keep the door openfor him lile some kind of doormat or do I walk away for good? Help and a

How do I do this? New to the site

Do I keep the door open or walk away

Posted by scorpio1986

... stupidly turned a blind eye when he ....

Stupid is as stupid does.

You think you're being a martyr ... but, what you are is ridiculous.

Martyr? Last thing id call myself. Looking for honest advice not down right abuse lol

I'd be willing to wager that there is no baby ..... you're so manipulative that it wouldn't surprise me in the least that you'd use a tactic like that against a guy.

bump

May I ask what his other placements are?

It may shed some extra light on the situation and you may get some additional opinions...

The hard truth though is that he probably had been in the relationship purely for convenience, if he truly loved you then he would not need to feed his porn addiction.

Don't forget that Virgo's can be very critical, so although you say you are not a bad looking girl maybe there was something about you that he just did not like but did not want to talk about it in case he hurt your feelings, bear in mind that it may not be something physical about you that he did not like.

Of course if there had been ongoing problems in the relationship then he may have not wanted to have slept with you because of those problems, whether or not you or he started or escalated those issues.

If you do want to help him then I suggest that you persuade him to go to bereavement counselling if he refuses this help then you know where you stand with him.

As for keeping the child that you are pregnant with, this is a very tough choice to make but can you realistically afford to keep it (I don't mean just financially)? It would obviously be a different matter if the prospective father was more responsible and would support you but this is obviously not going to be the case.

I have a couple of colleagues at work, they are actually very good friends, one has a son and a daughter the other a son and 2 daughters. Two of those daughters, one from each colleague got pregnant (by different men).

Those fathers offer no support what so ever and the impact is felt by the daughters as well as their parents, now grandparents. One grandparent has said that in hindsight it would have been better for their daughter to have had an abortion the other has seen the consequences that it has had on his daughter and would refuse to make a decision as to whether or not an abortion would have been the right thing to do and this is despite their obvious affection for those grandchildren.

I did think I posted a reply. Was on the pill do it wasnt planned and I do have children already. I told him from the start I wasnt keeping the baby. And he agreed it was a good dessision altho a hard one. I terminated the pregnancy on sunday so theres no baby. Im not the sort to make that up. However his mum and sister were very supportive throughout. To update whilst I was in hospital he did ring up the ward and spoke to me. Asked me if I wanted him to come visit me but I declined. Id been there since 9am n he rung at 5ish. I felt already let down as the hardest part was over and my friend had turned up for moral support. Thanks for the feedback altho those who implied id done it to trap him or made up ababy Iis very immature. I wanted feedback not abuse. I know us scorpios get bad press but if you get to know us. When we fall in love we fall hard n I do love this guy 😢. On reflection I do have co dependancy issues and I wonder if he sensed my fear of him leaving and got scared he was tied to a commitment that became suffocating. I deleted his numbersunday night to avoid drunken texts etc. Things wernt all bad and I dont think it was all about me.im very self critical at times and truth is I think it was about him getting back on track for himself. The environment I created through fear off loss aloud him to get into self defeating habbits n I think he realisrd that. Im hoping that maybe afew months down the line if he gets his shit together or misses me he will let me know. Ill be here if he does.we dont live to far away so who knows. And if he moves on he moves on. Another update he has started bereavement counciling so fingers crossed. If he did come back id not let him live. Iv realised we both needed space. I did suggest he move back in with his mum n just see me weekends whilst we were together but he didnt want to move out so I left it.

GET AN ABORTION.

Posted by scorpio1986

I terminated the pregnancy on sunday so theres no baby.

How convenient. the good news is, you have this card to play anytime you feel like manipulating him again, and he can never be the wiser.

However, in knowing Virgos as well as I do ..... there's no doubt in my mind that he already realizes how deceptive you are, and is on his way to a different woman who wouldn't lie about a pregnancy to try and trick him.

And that would be a big kudos to him.

Posted by Magenta_Azure
GET AN ABORTION.

agreed did this on sunday so no baby now. Can start recovery now

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by scorpio1986

I terminated the pregnancy on sunday so theres no baby.

How convenient. the good news is, you have this card to play anytime you feel like manipulating him again, and he can never be the wiser.

However, in knowing Virgos as well as I do ..... there's no doubt in my mind that he already realizes how deceptive you are, and is on his way to a different woman who wouldn't lie about a pregnancy to try and trick him.

And that would be a big kudos to him.

click to expand

well ok thats your opinion. He did ring up the hospital when I was there so thankfully he knows I was telling the truth. And not that I have to explain myself bus as I said before. His mother n sister have been very supportive. She even came to the first scan. Kinda hard to fake a pregnancy. And very twisted mind for someone to make that kind of thing up altho you seem to have quite abit to say on the matter of faked pregnancy! Could that be classic projection onto me threw your own failed attempts at faking a pregnancy? Very immature I must say

Posted by scorpio1986

His mother n sister have been very supportive. She even came to the first scan.

Really?

So, you have his mother getting excited and supporting you ... then turn around and kill her grandchild, just because you don't have the man?

Not only are you manipulative ... you're also cruel.

She thought it best aswell. One of the hardest thing ivhad to go threw. Not a ddessision I made lightly. I have children already. Didnt want to bring another child into this world into that situation and put my other children threw stress also. Said mother in law has an older son who recently had a child with his ex and that put alot of stress onto her as well. Mother inlaw Iis going threw a bereavement of her youngest son so she doesnt need more stress. Furthermore I wasnt planning on telling anyone until id thought it threw. Ex told her so unavoidable. If id had my way no one apart from dad would have know. Did the bestI could under the vcircumstances

My virgo ex has said the same and told me he has an evil streak. Always took it with a pinch of salt tho. If you love someone you can work threw flaws if you both open to improvement I guess