Why would virgo not care about a personal tragedy?

I am a pisces and have a virgo guy friend who contacts me daily with things like jokes and news articles and so on, but when it comes to anything serious, he ignores me. I was in hospital last year and when I told him he ignored that email. Then recently a friend of mine died violently and when I told him, he also didn't respond. If I ask him anything else or talk about anything like politics etc, he will talk about it. I feel like this is a strange relationship and yet when I stop replying to him, he asks why. When my friend died recently I wrote to the virgo and told him what happened and said that I am glad to have his friendship, I guess as I was feeling emotional over my friend. He emailed me today a news story about something and still hasn't even made reference to the fact that my friend died.

You apparantly don't realize that he isn't emotionally connected to you and so therefore, he doesn't want to be your emotional backbone when you need support.


He doesn't WANT to be connected to you emotionally .... he just wants to be the friend who talks to you about objective things, such as good jokes and politics.


You, however, want him to take you personally and he doesn't.



It's not rocket science .... why does this simple concept escape your ability to reason it out?

When other Fish do this ... it freaks me out, tbh ... because I really don't get why, generally speaking, Pisces people are clueless to logic.

Good points. I just don't see how any human interaction can be without personal connection. Otherwise we are robots.

If anyone in the world, even a strange told me their friend had died, I would at least acknowledge what they had said.

because it isn't his personal tragedy ... it is yours.

Why would virgo not care about a personal tragedy?

title of thread ^^^^^^^

Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius

I just don't see how any human interaction can be without personal connection.

It appears to me as though you have conflated his feelings with yours ... and they are seperate entities, in reality. Because you care about something that is personal to you, you believe that it should be acknowledged across the board into humanity.

You have made the insinuation that if you care = then he is required to maintain a certain level of emotional connection to humanity, according to your standards.

Just because he has no personal connection to something he isn't even required to be connected to in the first place doesn't equate to him being subpar in his humanity.

You are confusing the responsibility of his feelings with the responsibility of yours ... and I'm unsure why, exactly.

If he were your husband I could see the issue, however, not the fusing .... he then would have a responsibility for the nurturing of your feelings on the situation, but still wouldn't be required to feel the same as you, because he isn't you.

That was a really good answer PAngel... good points.

I think logically what you say is correct, but personally, which is always lacking in logic, I find it difficult to understand how someone could not care about something like that. For me, what is upsetting is not that he's not validating my feelings, it's that my not responding, my friend's death means nothing. When I tell people about it I feel like he is still living in that way when people know what happened.

Just because he doesn't address death doesn't mean he doesn't care about it.


"When I tell people about it I feel like he is still living in that way when people know what happened."


I'm not sure I get what you mean here ^^^^ .. are you saying that you believe his life should change over a tragedy that isn't his personally to feel? Of course, he's still living as if he wasn't told about it, it's not his emotional burden to bare.



"I find it difficult to understand how someone could not care about something like that."

If he hasn't addressed this issue, then how do you know he doesn't care? You don't.


You know .... people react to life differently, and just because he doesn't react the way you do, doesn't mean he isn't experiencing soemthing from it.

Sorry I didn't write very clearly. I meat to say that when I tell others that my friend was killed, his death doesn't seem like it was in vain... I also tell people as a way to cope myself, because it's overwhelmingly bad to deal with that alone.

Everything else you said was true. It's given me a lot to think about.

if it's your personal tragedy, the most you'll get out of me is "sorry for your loss." then i'll move on with my life. if you would expect me to sit and cry with you or something, i'd be convinced that you lost your mind. there's work to be done in the world of the living, dwelling on the dead is a waste of time.

If a friend of mine reports to me with news of a death of a close friend of his/hers or of being in the hospital, or any other type of personal life tragedy, problem, issue... , I'm there to give my condolences, words of encouragement, a shoulder to lean on.

Ok, not everyone operates this way. I get that.

However, it's not like the girl asked for a marriage proposal.

If he is her friend and she contacts him to tell him that she is in the hospital and he doesn't so much as even respond to ask "what happened?" does that not strike anyone else here as weird? To not even inquire about her well-being? Virgo or not. WTF is wrong with that picture? So he can call her for jokes and politics but when she's laid up in the hospital his ass is all MIA? Nah, he wouldn't be my friend anymore.

@SRV - understandable about the "sorry for your loss" as that is all that many of us can do.

Yeah it is strange. I feel like he has some sort of emotional issues or something to not be able to connect to people like that. I would be more than happy with a "sorry for your loss", this guy just ignored me and as soon as I was better started with the jokes and politics again. That was bad enough, but when my friend died, I've been really hit hard by that as it was violent and he was very young and yet my virgo friend hasn't responded. He just sent me a news article today about a man who ate a hamburger very fast. No kidding....

present it in the form of a mystery, that intrigues virgo

he may not know how to deal with it because of personal experience - some virgo are stupidly direct from force of habit in being concise

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
If a friend of mine reports to me with news of a death of a close friend of his/hers or of being in the hospital, or any other type of personal life tragedy, problem, issue... , I'm there to give my condolences, words of encouragement, a shoulder to lean on.

Ok, not everyone operates this way. I get that.

However, it's not like the girl asked for a marriage proposal.

If he is her friend and she contacts him to tell him that she is in the hospital and he doesn't so much as even respond to ask "what happened?" does that not strike anyone else here as weird? To not even inquire about her well-being? Virgo or not. WTF is wrong with that picture? So he can call her for jokes and politics but when she's laid up in the hospital his ass is all MIA? Nah, he wouldn't be my friend anymore.

@SRV - understandable about the "sorry for your loss" as that is all that many of us can do.

Gotta agree with Vixen here...WTF this is weird and this robot would no longer be my friend.

Posted by CuspBorn

Posted by VirgoVixxxen
If a friend of mine reports to me with news of a death of a close friend of his/hers or of being in the hospital, or any other type of personal life tragedy, problem, issue... , I'm there to give my condolences, words of encouragement, a shoulder to lean on.

Ok, not everyone operates this way. I get that.

However, it's not like the girl asked for a marriage proposal.

If he is her friend and she contacts him to tell him that she is in the hospital and he doesn't so much as even respond to ask "what happened?" does that not strike anyone else here as weird? To not even inquire about her well-being? Virgo or not. WTF is wrong with that picture? So he can call her for jokes and politics but when she's laid up in the hospital his ass is all MIA? Nah, he wouldn't be my friend anymore.

@SRV - understandable about the "sorry for your loss" as that is all that many of us can do.

Gotta agree with Vixen here...WTF this is weird and this robot would no longer be my friend.

click to expand

Ditto, not a friend, some sort of Droid you're dealing with. Oh, and the next time he sends you a funny quote or story, tell him where he can put it...