Do you feel

that men are more reliant on illusion for fulfillment more so than women? or are there astro aspects to this nature?

i saw this post on reddit that made me wonder.

this guy meets this girl. seems to be a genuine connection. naturally, shared real info about themselves- family life, what they do for a living etc. the man is surprised but genuinely thankful that this girl was not at all judgmental about his line of work. very accepting of him. but as things got better financially for the man, he secretly starts looking for someone else. he wouldn't have done so but the illusion of the other aspects she loved about him were starting to crumble too. so he needs a blank slate to carefully construct a stronger, better illusion.

so this time, he lies about his job. he can get something going with some of the money he's put away. maybe it's not all perfect now but things are getting better and this wouldn't matter when he's got more in the future. she'll never know the truth about how his business was funded. he will keep this illusion going for years to try to impress this other woman who looked down on people with his line of work.

but to him, better maintaining this illusion of the man he's always wanted to be than remain faithful to a woman who accepts him as a failure.

is this natural? a common occurence? or are there aspects that make up this nature?

Funny . I started studying Venus Conjunct Neptune in natal recently due to it being in someones chart. Interesting stuff.

Posted by virgoOPPP

that men are more reliant on illusion for fulfillment more so than women? or are there astro aspects to this nature?

i saw this post on reddit that made me wonder.

this guy meets this girl. seems to be a genuine connection. naturally, shared real info about themselves- family life, what they do for a living etc. the man is surprised but genuinely thankful that this girl was not at all judgmental about his line of work. very accepting of him. but as things got better financially for the man, he secretly starts looking for someone else. he wouldn't have done so but the illusion of the other aspects she loved about him were starting to crumble too. so he needs a blank slate to carefully construct a stronger, better illusion.

so this time, he lies about his job. he can get something going with some of the money he's put away. maybe it's not all perfect now but things are getting better and this wouldn't matter when he's got more in the future. she'll never know the truth about how his business was funded. he will keep this illusion going for years to try to impress this other woman who looked down on people with his line of work.

but to him, better maintaining this illusion of the man he's always wanted to be than remain faithful to a woman who accepts him as a failure.

is this natural? a common occurence? or are there aspects that make up this nature?

I think there is a certain kind of person out there that views their partner as evidence of status. I wouldn't say its natural or even common, but they are out there.

Posted by Antiphates

Pretty sure it's common for both genders. Most of the early stages of dating follow some form of social script and forms of showing off.

The rest of what you describe sound like an innability to accept reality, which would be required to reach the desired position, but sadly that's a common issue for both genders as well.

the women i've seen display this same strong need to maintain the illusion are often with these same men. there's a very public breakup between 2 people where i'm from. the man had a terrible reputation for falling in love every other season. and not in a game way but the kind that gets engaged every couple years. i never liked him, always thought he was too easy.

sure we can fall in love be it when leaf, snow, rain or sunshine catches my hair. but soon as one of us gets home too tired or a word gets misinterpreted, the little things that make up REAL LIFE just becomes too hard for this dude. and if he can't handle life and taxes with you, he can't love you no more.

sometimes, you just know a dude without knowing him.

and he meets a woman (he left his wife for) just as determined to maintain her own illusion. this girl has never done, seen nor heard anything her entire 20 something life lmfao. imagine this woman lies about something so small like never having tried a dish that everyone and their mama has had which she HAS eaten MULTIPLE times. the level of self-concealment jesus. and he eats these up lmao.

can anyone be happy like that?

she can't even be angry even though we all know her temper. probably can't even open her mouth too wide coz she's a lady lol. whatever i might think of her, i just always wonder how she could be happy. denying your own habits, controlling your impulses like that for what? a dude who fell in love come rain, come sunshine.

wonder if it'll last.

Posted by stardustmop

I know a Cancer man who does coke. He started dating a Leo woman 13 years younger. He would talk about how she does yoga and is a vegan. As if she elevates his social status by being everything he’s not, which I guess she does. I remember overhearing a conversation where he said something like, he would never date a woman who was okay with him doing coke because that woman would have poor character.

I’m sure you can probably guess that he cheats on her too. She is the woman at home who can help him maintain the illusion of the idyllic family.

yep.

and on another note, men also respect gold diggers.

that's why on my next date, i will act like this and see how it goes.

Posted by virgoOPPP

that men are more reliant on illusion for fulfillment more so than women? or are there astro aspects to this nature?

i saw this post on reddit that made me wonder.

this guy meets this girl. seems to be a genuine connection. naturally, shared real info about themselves- family life, what they do for a living etc. the man is surprised but genuinely thankful that this girl was not at all judgmental about his line of work. very accepting of him. but as things got better financially for the man, he secretly starts looking for someone else. he wouldn't have done so but the illusion of the other aspects she loved about him were starting to crumble too. so he needs a blank slate to carefully construct a stronger, better illusion.

so this time, he lies about his job. he can get something going with some of the money he's put away. maybe it's not all perfect now but things are getting better and this wouldn't matter when he's got more in the future. she'll never know the truth about how his business was funded. he will keep this illusion going for years to try to impress this other woman who looked down on people with his line of work.

but to him, better maintaining this illusion of the man he's always wanted to be than remain faithful to a woman who accepts him as a failure.

is this natural? a common occurence? or are there aspects that make up this nature?

I have seen this type of behaviour before, actually quite similar to what you described. However not in just "men". Actually both genders. Particularly seen in people that simply lack a sense of self-worth and believe they need validation from others to feel good about themselves taken to the extreme. What makes me scratch my head is the amount of energy they put into creating and maintaining this illusion could be put into improving their life situation (if they genuinely wanted more for themselves vs trying to gain approval). I just never understood it how they can't see that.

Although I am sure it can be found in any sign, I have only seen it with Bulls.

Posted by Aquarelle

It's also about the male ego, I think. Sometimes it seems men don't like someone who accepts "all" of them without judgement. It has more to do with their own negative self image and inability to recieve love , than with the person who is willing to accept and love them unconditionally.

For example, if they struggle financially, they don't feel like they are a good provider. Even if the woman has a good salary, which could also make life easier on HIM, he still needs to prove to his ego and to the world that he is a good provider. A woman who doesn't "need" him to be a provider is confusing as hell for a man like this, and a threat to his ego. It's because of his inability to see that letting go of that stereotypical gender role of being the provider could also make life easier on him.

Instead he tries to overcompensate for that by dating "up" as soon as his ego feels he is worth more because he is doing better financially. Also, someone who loves you unconditionally is not a challenge. They don't have to be "won over" and therefore they are not interesting enough. What's really going on is the inability of some men to recieve that unconditional love. So they go and look for someone who is a challenge instead.

i suspect it's a red flag when men are too honest with you. one time, someone called me his 'safety.' the girl you introduce to your mom, the one you're sure won't cheat and you can have 2.5 kids with and you can treat like a rehab center. this dude could be engaged to you and y'all trying for that 2.5 and he'd still be at least 20% pretty disgusted at how you're attracted to his loser self.

you gonna wish you had other people's problems like your man catching you with fake lashes and witch nails.

but you'd just be out there with a man who hates himself. and you can't even fix it with a hammer coz you like your police record the way it is. all you can do is wait for him to make a reddit account.

it's funny and sad that when he's desperately lying out of his mind like that green river killer with his butt in jail writing love letters, forever denying his crimes- that's when you know he loves you. i wish a man can lie to me forever like that 😇😇

but no, you're out there meeting his mom and being called 'safety.'

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by virgoOPPP

that men are more reliant on illusion for fulfillment more so than women? or are there astro aspects to this nature?

i saw this post on reddit that made me wonder.

this guy meets this girl. seems to be a genuine connection. naturally, shared real info about themselves- family life, what they do for a living etc. the man is surprised but genuinely thankful that this girl was not at all judgmental about his line of work. very accepting of him. but as things got better financially for the man, he secretly starts looking for someone else. he wouldn't have done so but the illusion of the other aspects she loved about him were starting to crumble too. so he needs a blank slate to carefully construct a stronger, better illusion.

so this time, he lies about his job. he can get something going with some of the money he's put away. maybe it's not all perfect now but things are getting better and this wouldn't matter when he's got more in the future. she'll never know the truth about how his business was funded. he will keep this illusion going for years to try to impress this other woman who looked down on people with his line of work.

but to him, better maintaining this illusion of the man he's always wanted to be than remain faithful to a woman who accepts him as a failure.

is this natural? a common occurence? or are there aspects that make up this nature?

I have seen this type of behaviour before, actually quite similar to what you described. However not in just "men". Actually both genders. Particularly seen in people that simply lack a sense of self-worth and believe they need validation from others to feel good about themselves taken to the extreme. What makes me scratch my head is the amount of energy they put into creating and maintaining this illusion could be put into improving their life situation (if they genuinely wanted more for themselves vs trying to gain approval). I just never understood it how they can't see that.

Although I am sure it can be found in any sign, I have only seen it with Bulls.

click to expand

idk about taurus men but my taurus cousin maintains this illusion to keep her relationship going. the strength of her resolve tho omg. none of our family attended her wedding nor any of her old friends. only the groom's family were present. her scorpio sun/taurus moon stepmom once said to me: "imagine what her husband's family must've thought when the bride came without a single family member. what kind of girl is this whose family wouldn't come?"

but my taurus cousin didn't care. i kinda agree with her tho. hell she's the one who'd be spending her life with him.

it's just that she almost got her dad in jail and she cheated on her cancer bf so she can marry this gemini man.

admirable determination but she trampled on so many people to get what she wanted.

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by Antiphates

Pretty sure it's common for both genders. Most of the early stages of dating follow some form of social script and forms of showing off.

The rest of what you describe sound like an innability to accept reality, which would be required to reach the desired position, but sadly that's a common issue for both genders as well.

the women i've seen display this same strong need to maintain the illusion are often with these same men. there's a very public breakup between 2 people where i'm from. the man had a terrible reputation for falling in love every other season. and not in a game way but the kind that gets engaged every couple years. i never liked him, always thought he was too easy.

sure we can fall in love be it when leaf, snow, rain or sunshine catches my hair. but soon as one of us gets home too tired or a word gets misinterpreted, the little things that make up REAL LIFE just becomes too hard for this dude. and if he can't handle life and taxes with you, he can't love you no more.

sometimes, you just know a dude without knowing him.

and he meets a woman (he left his wife for) just as determined to maintain her own illusion. this girl has never done, seen nor heard anything her entire 20 something life lmfao. imagine this woman lies about something so small like never having tried a dish that everyone and their mama has had which she HAS eaten MULTIPLE times. the level of self-concealment jesus. and he eats these up lmao.

can anyone be happy like that?

she can't even be angry even though we all know her temper. probably can't even open her mouth too wide coz she's a lady lol. whatever i might think of her, i just always wonder how she could be happy. denying your own habits, controlling your impulses like that for what? a dude who fell in love come rain, come sunshine.

wonder if it'll last.

click to expand

Megan marker never knowing about the monarchy. Yup she ain’t no gullible person

Posted by Antiphates

Pretty sure it's common for both genders. Most of the early stages of dating follow some form of social script and forms of showing off.

The rest of what you describe sound like an innability to accept reality, which would be required to reach the desired position, but sadly that's a common issue for both genders as well.

I definitely agree that it happens both ways.

Posted by Antiphates

Pretty sure it's common for both genders. Most of the early stages of dating follow some form of social script and forms of showing off.

The rest of what you describe sound like an innability to accept reality, which would be required to reach the desired position, but sadly that's a common issue for both genders as well.

Facts

Inferior complex alert!

Yep, and it is almost exclusive to men. Women are far more comfortable with being seen as needy, distraught, a damsel in distress, or in need of someone else to take care financially of them. There is no stigma associated with such behaviours, if anything they appear feminine and cute. The exception are women with masculine brains, aka more susceptible to testosterone and less to other hormones.

Men, on the other hand, are highly uncomfortable with being in financial and emotional need or mental distress. They could use a good woman to lift their spirit and take care of them. Meanwhile, they hope to get out of the misery and rescue a damsel in distress some day. If it happens, it will be like shedding their skin off, and with it, any reminder of them being a “failure”, good woman including. It is one of the reasons women have learned to avoid dating someone who sees himself as a loser.

To address the OP, the behaviour above has nothing to do with illusion. Some men lie to appear they are better people or partners. Lies have short legs, though. Other are just trying hard to convince themselves and others that their life is better than it is, and perhaps better than the average. Kudos to them…perhaps they eventually get to appreciate the little things in life, not just pretend they do.

Posted by _ang_an

Is this about the cancer, or is this another tauruses are sewer rats thread, or both lol?

reddit guy reminds me of capricorn

Posted by nanobotz

My dad is a master of illusion. He morphs into the personality of his current flavor of the week or whoever he’s trying to impress. He has no defining personality or traits of his own. Sometimes he’s donating to dog rescues, other times he hates dogs. One time his favorite food was xxx until he dates a woman who hates xxx. He always discouraged me from higher education, until one time we were at his professor neighbors house, I had taken sometime off from college and he disparaged me and said it was a damn shame 🤣🤣🤣 He told me he would never travel abroad, now guess who’s talking about getting a passport because of a woman he’s dating? Fake as fuck. It must be exhausting to have no actual personality or thoughts of one’s own.

I don’t know that these particular men are fulfilled. He’s turning 62 and this behavior still goes on. He’s double fixed too. This is an extreme case of illusion, I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. Thankfully

people always make fun of mutables for having a personality or two.

but at least they don't make a principle out of someone else's preference.

eww.

Posted by _ang_an

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by nanobotz

My dad is a master of illusion. He morphs into the personality of his current flavor of the week or whoever he’s trying to impress. He has no defining personality or traits of his own. Sometimes he’s donating to dog rescues, other times he hates dogs. One time his favorite food was xxx until he dates a woman who hates xxx. He always discouraged me from higher education, until one time we were at his professor neighbors house, I had taken sometime off from college and he disparaged me and said it was a damn shame 🤣🤣🤣 He told me he would never travel abroad, now guess who’s talking about getting a passport because of a woman he’s dating? Fake as fuck. It must be exhausting to have no actual personality or thoughts of one’s own.

I don’t know that these particular men are fulfilled. He’s turning 62 and this behavior still goes on. He’s double fixed too. This is an extreme case of illusion, I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. Thankfully

people always make fun of mutables for having a personality or two.

but at least they don't make a principle out of someone else's preference.

eww.

Idk about that, I can show you desperate. You can mould me for fun if it makes you want to sleep with me lol. But I can easily live a double life outside of it.

The taurus and I joke about how we're two desperate people who no one else will marry, and that's why we're together lol.

click to expand

i've been pathetic over capricorn men since high school. that's like half of my life. taurus guys feel 'brotherly' like i'm always obnoxious with these people. i'm self-interested and obnoxious when i'm not interested or want nothing from you. and i'm sure the lack of attraction is mutual.

i'm self-sacrificing, submissive and pleasing when i want you.

anyone can joke but it's the cold, distant one i'm chasing. the rare times i can catch him is like a drug.

Posted by _ang_an

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by _ang_an

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by nanobotz

My dad is a master of illusion. He morphs into the personality of his current flavor of the week or whoever he’s trying to impress. He has no defining personality or traits of his own. Sometimes he’s donating to dog rescues, other times he hates dogs. One time his favorite food was xxx until he dates a woman who hates xxx. He always discouraged me from higher education, until one time we were at his professor neighbors house, I had taken sometime off from college and he disparaged me and said it was a damn shame 🤣🤣🤣 He told me he would never travel abroad, now guess who’s talking about getting a passport because of a woman he’s dating? Fake as fuck. It must be exhausting to have no actual personality or thoughts of one’s own.

I don’t know that these particular men are fulfilled. He’s turning 62 and this behavior still goes on. He’s double fixed too. This is an extreme case of illusion, I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. Thankfully

people always make fun of mutables for having a personality or two.

but at least they don't make a principle out of someone else's preference.

eww.

Idk about that, I can show you desperate. You can mould me for fun if it makes you want to sleep with me lol. But I can easily live a double life outside of it.

The taurus and I joke about how we're two desperate people who no one else will marry, and that's why we're together lol.

i've been pathetic over capricorn men since high school. that's like half of my life. taurus guys feel 'brotherly' like i'm always obnoxious with these people. i'm self-interested and obnoxious when i'm not interested or want nothing from you. and i'm sure the lack of attraction is mutual.

i'm self-sacrificing, submissive and pleasing when i want you.

anyone can joke but it's the cold, distant one i'm chasing. the rare times i can catch him is like a drug.

My first crush ever was a cap sun/pisces moon, and he was like how you describe. But I dont fuck with caps because I'm trying to live a peaceful life. Seems like such an imbalance. I remember the second cap I had a crush on, he was so hot. And caps always initiate with virgos too which virgos like, but I stopped going around because he had a girlfriend and I wasn't scandalous then. They take advantage of us too much.

click to expand

even when i hate this dude, it's so good 😭😭

there's something i always say that makes them change their mind. and i can see it from the way their eyes suddenly shift. if only i can figure out what it was.

even at work, i can tell it's probably a capricorn man when i feel this sudden sexual impulse (rare coz i'm rarely friendly) lol i just know it. but i have a rule to never get involved with anyone from work ever. they could be going through spreadsheets and just look boring asf but my mind is just going other places.

very distracting at work.

oh well maybe i'll be scandalous over the holidays 🙇🏻🙇🏻

Nope...



That guy is "clearly/obviously" among the exceptions. Even more than that... after a certain age (around early to mid 20s and above), when it comes to dating - it's quite common for women - to look down on men who earn less or don't have a higher status. A mentality - that seems to change around mid 30s and above (lower their expectations - even settling for men who earn less - while finding other qualities they deem worthy in said men). On the other hand, it's quite common for men of all ages - to date down (as some like to put it - at least financially or some job related status). If anything - men are more concerned with - "the type of job (where any sex worker type of job - is usually frown upon)".

I don't know this is why I tend to seek out genuine people bunch of liars and manipulators out there. Trying to live out a lie their whole life or catfishing as a side hustle to let out their desires out. I feel like genuine people are harder to come by now a days. A lot of people tend to sell you a double scripted story one in black ink with invisible ink between the lines.