MrR78
@MrR78
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 263 · Topics: 25
Aqua ex is back
They do that..
I don't know why. Both of my Aqua ex's did that too...
I put it down to 1: They still have feelings for you and they're threatened by you moving on....
but most likely 2: They feel that you can be friends again because you care about someone else..
I don't know why. Both of my Aqua ex's did that too...
I put it down to 1: They still have feelings for you and they're threatened by you moving on....
but most likely 2: They feel that you can be friends again because you care about someone else..
OR maybe the challenge is back! .... Because they like a challenge right?
All of a sudden there just seems to be too much effort - I cant understand it.
A conversation about my past came up with a girl I was seeing after her I responded by saying it may not be a good idea to answer that given our history - she said leave it then and carried on with talking about other stuff.
So if the challenge is back - what exactly is the challenge? She would need to put herself out there and risk rejection and there is a high chance of that happening... Aquas hate rejection don't they?
A conversation about my past came up with a girl I was seeing after her I responded by saying it may not be a good idea to answer that given our history - she said leave it then and carried on with talking about other stuff.
So if the challenge is back - what exactly is the challenge? She would need to put herself out there and risk rejection and there is a high chance of that happening... Aquas hate rejection don't they?
No I am not looking for signs at all. I just want some boundaries in place so we both know where we stand
Posted by MrR78She brang up a girl you were seeing after you were seeing her?
All of a sudden there just seems to be too much effort - I cant understand it.
A conversation about my past came up with a girl I was seeing after her I responded by saying it may not be a good idea to answer that given our history - she said leave it then and carried on with talking about other stuff.
So if the challenge is back - what exactly is the challenge? She would need to put herself out there and risk rejection and there is a high chance of that happening... Aquas hate rejection don't they?
How long was it after her that you started to see that girl?
And the way you responded "given our history" has indicated you're protecting her or yourself from hurt or stress... (a sign of caring)
The challenge wouldn't be about getting you back or her putting herself out there. I doubt she would set herself up for rejection...
My ex talked to me the entire time I was with my rebound (6 months) Little communication before that. He had mentioned that the rebound wasn't good for me and would insult the way he'd do things... it wasnt until the rebound was violent to me that he expressed some care though and not until I left the rebound! After a few weeks of being kind and caring he ghosted me again... So I can't really help you make sense of this with your ex.
I really think she just wants to be your friend now though.
What ARE your boundaries?
What are the types of things you're willing to share with her?
Because you don't want to find yourself accidentally cheating... or lying to yourself about feelings you might still have for her.
How long have you been with this new chick?
Posted by FafaYes!
why don't you ask her to stop emailing you..... is this healthy? your in a new relationship focus on that
Although I think they work in the same building... and I think he doesn't mind the idea of having a friendship with his ex.
Some are able to do that..
I feel like she genuinely just wants to be friends, and is comfortable now because now she feels like since you've moved on she doesnt have to worry about you trying anything with her. Me personally...I couldn't deal with an ex I had questions about whether they still wanted to be with me or not, until they moved on. Then I was comfortable enough to be friends again. Not even with exes...but with ANYONE that I knew was interested in me on a romantic level. If I am not interested but I feel like you are, I'll avoid you until you move on....then I know we can be friends strictly on a platonic level. Not the best way to handle it, but that's worked for me
Just tell her you're not interested in being friends and that she can discontinue her emails to you. I'm an Aquarius and I see no need to still communicate with someone I am done with romantically. This is what you want right?
Just tell her you're not interested in being friends and that she can discontinue her emails to you. I'm an Aquarius and I see no need to still communicate with someone I am done with romantically. This is what you want right?
@lisabeau90 - The girl I was seeing after her came up in a conversation. When she asked more questions about the situation, is when I sent the response about her possibly not wanting to know due to our history. She responded by saying she didn't want to her about it.
Yes naturally I am a caring person. I am at a stage where I don't want any type of negativity in my life and I don't want to create any negativity directly or indirectly. We do work together and sit 10 feet away from each other so I don't see any reason why we cant be colleagues and professional. I have said this in the past, but now that I have moved on it seems like she is ok with it and I am happy with that.
My ex and I broke up in September last year and the new girl I am seeing is since April this year. My went back to her ex in December last year, which is bizarre because that wont go anywhere in the future due to the cultural circumstances. She is still with him now and I wish her the best of luck.
My ex and I have never had a conversation about each others partners, and we only recently started talking about certain things in our past. Bear in mind that we talk briefly when our paths cross yet she spends half her day emailing me.
If she wants to be friends now, I get that and I am happy with it, but she spends half her day still looking at me at work, and still has problems opening up about certain issues and does display signs of jealousy at times. It's those things I want to understand so I can set boundaries and work things out. I don't want any more awkwardness at work, life is too short for that shit, but the problem is that when it comes to me and the emotional situations attached to me, my ex wont speak or open up about it.
As for my feelings, too much has happened for me to even consider my feelings or take her back. In my eyes, she has done everything that I do not want in a woman since we broke up. Its almost like she is now a different person.
@fafa - we work together so there is bound to be some interaction. Yes I agree the emails can be seen as inappropriate. I was open and honest about the situation with current SO. What I am trying to understand is what her game is, all of a sudden there seems to be this weird push and pull and I don't really want to play, but at the same time need to deal with the situation as a colleague. For example she was emailing me today about something silly and wanted to play a guessing game. I said in a friendly manner whats the prize, and she said nothing, so I said there is no point in playing. She was very forceful in getting me to answer her question, which I found rather odd. I am trying to determine of its attention she is seeking or jealousy so I can deal with it appropriately. I will be working very closely with her so I don't want the awkwardness or play the silly games with her behind the scenes while she pretends in front of the others at work there is nothing wrong (people did not officially know we dated). Rest assured my focus is on my new relationship. I come here asking for advice because it is a forum, I respect the opinion of others and sometimes people may say something that I may not have thought of.
@Capmercury87 - My ex does not drink and has only ever had 2 partners me and her ex. It is possible that her intentions are bad, this is a girl that completely ghosted me for almost a year and it was me that reached out to her because I did not want any more negativity at work. There is age difference between us and she is younger, but from what I have seen she is emotionally immature, lost and a completely different person to what she was when she was with me. Granted I accept that the dynamic I created had a lot to do with that. I took my responsibilities towards her seriously and handled my business. All she had to do was turn up look good, smile and have a good time. However things are different now and she is different, hence why I have come to my DXP family for advice.
I have told her I am in a serious relationship which is going somewhere and gave her respect and dignity of telling her before she heard it in the office. This is something she did not do with me when she went back to her ex despite me emailing her and asking her. I don't know if she wants something with me now or not, which is why I am here and wanting to understand her behavior out of respect for my current SO as she is my first priority. I am also a man who believes that I gain no value in belittling a woman so I don't want a situation to be created at work where my ex looks stupid. My morals and values don't allow that.
@aqua0215 - I understand your views and respect your opinion. I have never tried anything with her after we broke up. The most I did was speak to her about reconciliation but still respected her boundaries. Our situation was about her breaking up with me because she was tied to her parents and her parents did not accept me. Whats funny is she went back her ex and his parents didn't accept her so they broke up. Yes it sounds messed up. I accept your opinion about dealing with ex's and you may well be correct, I just haven't seen it yet from my ex. The way I see it is that now I am no longer showing her an interest she seems to showing me need for my attention, I am ill, I am hungry, I don't feel well, I cant sleep etc.... its sounds worse than what it is when I write it but its all too frequent and that's what I question. She still tries to control when and how she speaks to me and what she says, I don't want the games and just want a level playing field where I can come to work, speak to a person I once dated and love, give her the respect of a colleague and someone who once in my life I would have torn mountains down just to see her smile.
@everyounce - A little bit of background may help. My ex started working with me in at the end of September 2015, so by the end of November we were dating. She was attracted to me and chased me, so when I hear about people saying Aquas want friendship first this wasn't actually my case. There was an attraction at work which developed. As an Aquarius who does not see the need to communicate to be done with someone who you are done with romantically she sure seems to be communicating with me now more than ever. Leos are Aqua opposites I would have been happy with having a chat (and I did say this to her) to set boundaries so I don't overstep the mark and neither does she. Guess what no response. Its almost like on an emotional level I am completely blocked which I find bizarre considering she has a boyfriend and has been with him for over 11 months. These are the things I would like to understand.
Thank you all for your time and assistance.
Yes naturally I am a caring person. I am at a stage where I don't want any type of negativity in my life and I don't want to create any negativity directly or indirectly. We do work together and sit 10 feet away from each other so I don't see any reason why we cant be colleagues and professional. I have said this in the past, but now that I have moved on it seems like she is ok with it and I am happy with that.
My ex and I broke up in September last year and the new girl I am seeing is since April this year. My went back to her ex in December last year, which is bizarre because that wont go anywhere in the future due to the cultural circumstances. She is still with him now and I wish her the best of luck.
My ex and I have never had a conversation about each others partners, and we only recently started talking about certain things in our past. Bear in mind that we talk briefly when our paths cross yet she spends half her day emailing me.
If she wants to be friends now, I get that and I am happy with it, but she spends half her day still looking at me at work, and still has problems opening up about certain issues and does display signs of jealousy at times. It's those things I want to understand so I can set boundaries and work things out. I don't want any more awkwardness at work, life is too short for that shit, but the problem is that when it comes to me and the emotional situations attached to me, my ex wont speak or open up about it.
As for my feelings, too much has happened for me to even consider my feelings or take her back. In my eyes, she has done everything that I do not want in a woman since we broke up. Its almost like she is now a different person.
@fafa - we work together so there is bound to be some interaction. Yes I agree the emails can be seen as inappropriate. I was open and honest about the situation with current SO. What I am trying to understand is what her game is, all of a sudden there seems to be this weird push and pull and I don't really want to play, but at the same time need to deal with the situation as a colleague. For example she was emailing me today about something silly and wanted to play a guessing game. I said in a friendly manner whats the prize, and she said nothing, so I said there is no point in playing. She was very forceful in getting me to answer her question, which I found rather odd. I am trying to determine of its attention she is seeking or jealousy so I can deal with it appropriately. I will be working very closely with her so I don't want the awkwardness or play the silly games with her behind the scenes while she pretends in front of the others at work there is nothing wrong (people did not officially know we dated). Rest assured my focus is on my new relationship. I come here asking for advice because it is a forum, I respect the opinion of others and sometimes people may say something that I may not have thought of.
@Capmercury87 - My ex does not drink and has only ever had 2 partners me and her ex. It is possible that her intentions are bad, this is a girl that completely ghosted me for almost a year and it was me that reached out to her because I did not want any more negativity at work. There is age difference between us and she is younger, but from what I have seen she is emotionally immature, lost and a completely different person to what she was when she was with me. Granted I accept that the dynamic I created had a lot to do with that. I took my responsibilities towards her seriously and handled my business. All she had to do was turn up look good, smile and have a good time. However things are different now and she is different, hence why I have come to my DXP family for advice.
I have told her I am in a serious relationship which is going somewhere and gave her respect and dignity of telling her before she heard it in the office. This is something she did not do with me when she went back to her ex despite me emailing her and asking her. I don't know if she wants something with me now or not, which is why I am here and wanting to understand her behavior out of respect for my current SO as she is my first priority. I am also a man who believes that I gain no value in belittling a woman so I don't want a situation to be created at work where my ex looks stupid. My morals and values don't allow that.
@aqua0215 - I understand your views and respect your opinion. I have never tried anything with her after we broke up. The most I did was speak to her about reconciliation but still respected her boundaries. Our situation was about her breaking up with me because she was tied to her parents and her parents did not accept me. Whats funny is she went back her ex and his parents didn't accept her so they broke up. Yes it sounds messed up. I accept your opinion about dealing with ex's and you may well be correct, I just haven't seen it yet from my ex. The way I see it is that now I am no longer showing her an interest she seems to showing me need for my attention, I am ill, I am hungry, I don't feel well, I cant sleep etc.... its sounds worse than what it is when I write it but its all too frequent and that's what I question. She still tries to control when and how she speaks to me and what she says, I don't want the games and just want a level playing field where I can come to work, speak to a person I once dated and love, give her the respect of a colleague and someone who once in my life I would have torn mountains down just to see her smile.
@everyounce - A little bit of background may help. My ex started working with me in at the end of September 2015, so by the end of November we were dating. She was attracted to me and chased me, so when I hear about people saying Aquas want friendship first this wasn't actually my case. There was an attraction at work which developed. As an Aquarius who does not see the need to communicate to be done with someone who you are done with romantically she sure seems to be communicating with me now more than ever. Leos are Aqua opposites I would have been happy with having a chat (and I did say this to her) to set boundaries so I don't overstep the mark and neither does she. Guess what no response. Its almost like on an emotional level I am completely blocked which I find bizarre considering she has a boyfriend and has been with him for over 11 months. These are the things I would like to understand.
Thank you all for your time and assistance.
Posted by Happy_AquaThis over and over and over.
I wouldn't look into it too much.
I think she meant what she said in the e-mail.
And I think she's genuinly happy you are moving on, so you are no longer making her feel awkward. Because you are moving on, she doesn't have to guess whether you still have romantic feelings for her which she cannot reciprocate.
So she probably feels a lot more comfortable right now with you two just being friends.
She isn't interested in more with you, stop with the expectations
Posted by Happy_AquaYup and you got people feeding him false hope.
If I am over someone, I'm over someone. It takes a very unique and special person for me to look back and even consider letting them back in romantically.
I don't see any challenge in what you described. To me it seems you are looking for signs that she wants you back but to me it only sounds like an Aqua who wants to be friends only.
Posted by MrR78Truth be told Aquarius are narcisitic (Leo is their opposite and they share some traits) and seeing that you replaced her is prompting her to go after you which happens mainly because they're a fixed sign making them "stubborn" hence her will to keep talking to you. She's most likely trying to win you back or at least stay good friends. All because you unknowingly played the break-up game correct - you ignored he. If you had made a scene and go after her she wouldn't be doing that.
Hello
So here's the deal - I made it pretty clear to my Aqua ex that I have moved on and I am now seeing someone. We work together so I told her out of respect as I know who crushing it can be to find out your ex is seeing someone from a third person.
She responded to my email saying I am happy to hear this - its great news!!! Bet you cant wait, and you deserve happiness.
Since hearing my news she has been reaching out over email, making conversation as paths cross and telling me personal things about her health etc. She still seems to keep away from any conversation involving me and women. I was away for 2 days at work and she kept my old email and emailed me within 20 minutes of coming to work. She also asked a colleague if I was in today.
Whats her game? Has her guilt been lifted now that I have moved on so she can now communicate with me, or is she feeling a bit jealous I have moved on and been replaced.
What ever has happened has happened and I am over it, I just want to understand what the situation is so that I can create boundaries and stick to them.
Thanks
Either way what you should do is ignore her and deny her friendship! One way or another she0ll only be trouble for you and for your new partner. She had her chance and blew it...so, let her go and find another Aquarius or die alon 😆
Posted by Happy_AquaHmmm...can you smell it? The Aquarians perfect tea made with the finest leaves of insecurity and defensiveness...you make a Cancer look bad 😆
If I am over someone, I'm over someone. It takes a very unique and special person for me to look back and even consider letting them back in romantically.
I don't see any challenge in what you described. To me it seems you are looking for signs that she wants you back but to me it only sounds like an Aqua who wants to be friends only.
The way that you turn tables and put the problem over him for trying to input an emotional analysis on the problem is pure Aquarianism! Can't you just answer him without the judgemental strike putting him on the leap for thinking the girl still might have feelings for him; special an Aquarius, I bet she's giving him more attention now than when they where together. He should be alert though even if she wnats to be his friend or lover once again!
Posted by FrogPrinceHave you even read all his threads he has made this past year?Posted by Happy_AquaHmmm...can you smell it? The Aquarians perfect tea made with the finest leaves of insecurity and defensiveness...you make a Cancer look bad 😆
If I am over someone, I'm over someone. It takes a very unique and special person for me to look back and even consider letting them back in romantically.
I don't see any challenge in what you described. To me it seems you are looking for signs that she wants you back but to me it only sounds like an Aqua who wants to be friends only.
The way that you turn tables and put the problem over him for trying to input an emotional analysis on the problem is pure Aquarianism! Can't you just answer him without the judgemental strike putting him on the leap for thinking the girl still might have feelings for him; special an Aquarius, I bet she's giving him more attention now than when they where together. He should be alert though even if she wnats to be his friend or lover once again!click to expand
lol this Aqua OP is talking aboout was done a long time ago, yet here you are feeding into shit and giving the guy false hope.
Her post is neither defensive nor insecure, yours on the other hand....
@frog prince - "Truth be told Aquarius are narcisitic (Leo is their opposite and they share some traits) and seeing that you replaced her is prompting her to go after you which happens mainly because they're a fixed sign making them "stubborn" hence her will to keep talking to you. She's most likely trying to win you back or at least stay good friends. All because you unknowingly played the break-up game correct - you ignored he. If you had made a scene and go after her she wouldn't be doing that.
Either way what you should do is ignore her and deny her friendship! One way or another she0ll only be trouble for you and for your new partner. She had her chance and blew it...so, let her go and find another Aquarius or die alon" -
This isn't entirely accurate - I did chase her for a very long time. Im March this year I wrote an email to her personal address (not sure if I was blocked) telling her how I felt and the mistakes I made and realisations. She didn't respond. I did say in the email that I wish her all the happiness in the world and I will be happy with or without her. I then became my happy go lucky self and carried on with life. I went on holiday to India to trek in the mountains 15000ft above sea level, got into a relationship, got new tattoos etc. My ex did not like hearing about my trip or my current SO. In effect what I have done in reality is exactly what I said I would do in the email.
Just to clarify as well, she gave me lots of attention when we together, she would tell me daily how much she likes me, notice little things and make comments about my appearance, ie you had a haircut nice white shirt etc. Then she ghosted, went back to her ex, found out I am serious about someone and is now back talking to me, albeit on emails frequently and occasionally when we cross paths. I invited the girl out of a coffee and a catch up and she said she would let me know - that isn't going to happen lol. She may be over me she may not be, I don't know. I have never encountered her behaviour in any of my past relationship post break ups and I am good friends with all my ex's. With this particular girl, if her parents accepted the age difference, we would be engaged right now. I just want to understand her behaviour, that's all - call it personal growth and learning from experience.
Thank you all once again for taking the time out to help me.
Either way what you should do is ignore her and deny her friendship! One way or another she0ll only be trouble for you and for your new partner. She had her chance and blew it...so, let her go and find another Aquarius or die alon" -
This isn't entirely accurate - I did chase her for a very long time. Im March this year I wrote an email to her personal address (not sure if I was blocked) telling her how I felt and the mistakes I made and realisations. She didn't respond. I did say in the email that I wish her all the happiness in the world and I will be happy with or without her. I then became my happy go lucky self and carried on with life. I went on holiday to India to trek in the mountains 15000ft above sea level, got into a relationship, got new tattoos etc. My ex did not like hearing about my trip or my current SO. In effect what I have done in reality is exactly what I said I would do in the email.
Just to clarify as well, she gave me lots of attention when we together, she would tell me daily how much she likes me, notice little things and make comments about my appearance, ie you had a haircut nice white shirt etc. Then she ghosted, went back to her ex, found out I am serious about someone and is now back talking to me, albeit on emails frequently and occasionally when we cross paths. I invited the girl out of a coffee and a catch up and she said she would let me know - that isn't going to happen lol. She may be over me she may not be, I don't know. I have never encountered her behaviour in any of my past relationship post break ups and I am good friends with all my ex's. With this particular girl, if her parents accepted the age difference, we would be engaged right now. I just want to understand her behaviour, that's all - call it personal growth and learning from experience.
Thank you all once again for taking the time out to help me.
Posted by EveryOunceI think the op still has feelings for his ex though. So.
Just tell her you're not interested in being friends and that she can discontinue her emails to you. I'm an Aquarius and I see no need to still communicate with someone I am done with romantically. This is what you want right?
But while we are on this topic I'm curious. Do Aqua normally become extremely cold and distant and completely ignore you once it's over and re connect once they know you no longer want to be with them to re connect the friendship? So if they are still around romantically it means they are not really over you yet right? I'm just curious. how many of you Aqua become friends straight away after ?
The OP has stronger feelings for the Aqua than for his current SO. He needs to completely clear his mind. The Aqua still bewitches him. He should become dead turkey, keep it strictly professional and not try again to beat dead horses. His current SO should be his priority. We would like to have some threads on her, not on the ex Aqua.
I wouldn't say I have stronger feelings for my ex than my current SO.
But Compy is right I do need to clear my mind and just let go of stuff. Its the uncertainty that confuses me due to the lack of communication to set the boundaries.
But Compy is right I do need to clear my mind and just let go of stuff. Its the uncertainty that confuses me due to the lack of communication to set the boundaries.
Uncertainty is what Aquas are the best at, for people that cannot see it through. They can even beat Libras at it 🙂
Since you are the one to have control on how the communication goes, you can set the boundaries yourself, but you don't want to. You are the Leo, you can have the control. She is merely friendly. You are trying to set some adverse reaction out of her, but nothing happens. She is actually happy with the situation. You took a burden out of her shoulder, but you don't seem happy with the result. Your Leo ego hurts. Please, concentrate on your current SO and leave the Aqua woman behind.
Since you are the one to have control on how the communication goes, you can set the boundaries yourself, but you don't want to. You are the Leo, you can have the control. She is merely friendly. You are trying to set some adverse reaction out of her, but nothing happens. She is actually happy with the situation. You took a burden out of her shoulder, but you don't seem happy with the result. Your Leo ego hurts. Please, concentrate on your current SO and leave the Aqua woman behind.
Posted by saweetz1988It depends on how it ended. I (or we) aren't confrontational and while it takes us a while to completely break it off (forgiving, EXTREMELY LOYAL when in love), it is not uncommon for me to remain at least cordial with an ex. However, if he is spiteful or I know he is intentionally trying to hurt me...or DID intentionally try to hurt me, I cut them off completely in every way and become as cold as ice.
But while we are on this topic I'm curious. Do Aqua normally become extremely cold and distant and completely ignore you once it's over and re connect once they know you no longer want to be with them to re connect the friendship? So if they are still around romantically it means they are not really over you yet right? I'm just curious. how many of you Aqua become friends straight away after ?
It broke off because her parents did not accept the age gap. She then went back to her ex and we have recently started talking again. I haven't been spiteful, if anything I have been taking her into consideration in how I handle the situation.
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But after i move
I'm just wondering about thoughts from an Aquarius.
I've talked with a few of Aquarians (Is this even a word?) because I have about 4 friends (females) and 1 male. All of them seem to shy away from the topic of sex.
It reminds me of Scorpios and how
Just recently had a old friend come out at the age of 29 about he being attracted to men and he sees himself as being 100% gay even tho he dated many women in the past.
He has now been in a long term relationship with Aqua guy and he is a Cancer.
I
So here's the deal - I made it pretty clear to my Aqua ex that I have moved on and I am now seeing someone. We work together so I told her out of respect as I know who crushing it can be to find out your ex is seeing someone from a third person.
She responded to my email saying I am happy to hear this - its great news!!! Bet you cant wait, and you deserve happiness.
Since hearing my news she has been reaching out over email, making conversation as paths cross and telling me personal things about her health etc. She still seems to keep away from any conversation involving me and women. I was away for 2 days at work and she kept my old email and emailed me within 20 minutes of coming to work. She also asked a colleague if I was in today.
Whats her game? Has her guilt been lifted now that I have moved on so she can now communicate with me, or is she feeling a bit jealous I have moved on and been replaced.
What ever has happened has happened and I am over it, I just want to understand what the situation is so that I can create boundaries and stick to them.
Thanks