Aqua man confuses me

Hi I'm new here. I'm a 35 leo single mom who was on a 10 year marriage with aqua moon and leo venus. Met a recently divorced Aquarius man 32 with moon and Venus in cap online 2 months ago. We are not really dating, we see each other in his place. In the first month I've been receiving text from him everyday with compliments on how pretty, sexy or hot I am. Sex happened on our first meeting, sorry, we couldn't control it, as much as I didn't want it to happen, I got drawn by his charm. Even after that day he would still communicate with me thru text everyday and see me on his terms though. The texting is full of compliments and he never fail to say good morning and good night to me. When I want to see him, he's always with his buddies or working. I guess that's the being aloof means, I'm use to guys who's all over me all the time, but this guy is different. But he would make time for me still at least once a week. He left for 3weeks for work and when he got back he did still text me but because I texted him, and it's not as often as it use to and the compliments stopped. The last time I saw him on Christmas day, after our great sex, we cuddled and he was playing with my fingers while we're watching tv, and he pulled me to him on his chest and let me lay on him and squeezed me so tight with his two legs, and he rubs my skin all the time. I read a lot of thread about aquarius, and I understand that they're not big on expressing their feelings. He said he likes me and want me on text whenever I say I'm gonna back off because I dont know if what we have could lead to something. But on Christmas while we are intimate he hold my face with his two hands and whispered twice in my ear that he wants me. He and I had a agreed that we don't have a title but would not play each other and would be honest if one of us decides to date somebody else then we will let go of each other. I didn't want that set up but I agreed to it for I didn't wanna pressure him because of his recent divorce. oh he said he was only married for 8 months because the ex cheated on him. Most of you said that Aquarius won't even say the L word even until after a year or so. I really really like this guy and I guess I'm challenge because of his different ways and because I'm a loyal person and as if I wanna prove him that I can love him and not leave or cheat on him. But as a leo I want love gestures, I'm trying not to smother him and being very patient with him but I don't wanna pressure him into c

**commiting. I read aquarius won't let anyone in their life if they don't want you. So the fact that he's still around I guess that's a sign? He kiss me a lot when we are together. I saw some changes that I'm trying not to give it a meaning. I would like to be patient and wait as long as I can buy as a leo I want some assurance too that I'm fighting for something worthy. Do you guys think I should just stay and wait patiently? Is he just being his aquarius sun. Ugh what if I patien wait and even after all my effort to care and love him he finds another girl he would want to date then I'll be dump..ouch! I'm really hoping he likes me like he said and not staying because of the sex he's getting from me. I wanna win his aquarius love, but I'm scared. I need a lot of aquarius input please.

I hate to tell u this but I just went thru something similar. Me, Leo female - him aqua male.
What u r calling "aloofness" (which I did too) is actually him having his cake and eating it too. Has he ever altered his plans to c u? When u ask him to hang out does he say he's not sure, he will c? How often do u go out together?
What I see happening is u r sitting there worried about what he's thinking and doing while u squirm. Do u think he is doing that? At all? I think not. It sounds as if you've already lost Urself and it's only going to get worse if u don't get a hold of Urself and Ur emotions like right frickin now. Trust me on this. My heart is ripped to shreds and if it doesn't work out you most likely won't even vet an explanation. He will just disappear.
Get Ur beautiful Leo self in front of a mirror right now and check if Ur still there. U know what I mean...

I read: He's letting you come to his place for sex. Is he not taking you out on dates?
Answer: Red flag.

I read: 'I didn't want that set up but I agreed to it '
Answer: Why would you agree to something you don't want? You're setting yourself up heart break.

I read: 'as a leo I want love gestures"
Answer: You're not going to get this from an aquarius. They are subtle. They show love by actions. If you want big romantic guestures (nothing wrong with wanting that and leo's want that), you're going to be disappointed. Have to learn to read aqua love.

I read: "as a leo I want some assurance"
answer: Aquas are not good at giving reassurance. Just be prepared for feeling frustrated and confused.

I read:"I'm really hoping he likes me like he said and not staying because of the sex he's getting from me"
Answer: Take sex out of the picture and see if he sticks around. My daddy always said if a man hangs around without sex, he'll hang around after sex. You moved too fast and that just made you insecure. That always happens when we have sex too soon into a relationship.

My advice to you is learn to read actions, don't be insistent on big romantic guestures and reassurance, go with the flow, keep it light, don't smother, be patient, make sure he gets a good feeling when he's around you and not feeling pressured, be independent, keep living your own life, enjoy your hobbies, don't overthink.

I hear leo and aquarius make a good couple, but I always wondered if there's any way for it to be possible for a leo to feel fulfilled by an aloof, independent aquarius. Leo's are pretty demanding romantically and I don't know how aquarius responds to that.

Time is your friend. Remember that.

@truecap
1. Yup, we haven't date yet unfortunately. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I gave in to that set up.

2. He's affectionate with me when we're together, very touchy, and he always say he likes me. I read a lot of thread saying that they didn't hear the L word from their Aqua for about a year or so..I'm trying to be patient and believing him that he really do like me.
3. Though I'm a leo and I can be very stubborn when I don't get what I want, I think I'm more mature to be patient and wait for him. I'm not smothering him at all, I'm giving it a chance that one day he would wanna take it to the next level.
* I really liked your input, that changed my feelings towards this relationship. I'll be more careful and make sure I'll be treated for what I'm worth. Thank you!

@maranoid
Whenever I ask to hang out he's already with his friends or coworkers. I don't demand him to alter his plans for me for I'm not in the position to do that and I'm giving him his freedom as he is giving me mine. And we see each other at least once a week. What I read about Aqua, if they don't like you they'll tell you right away. He told me to try and trust him. Maybe he is just being slow and careful like most people here are saying about their Aqua that they're slow in commiting. I'm sure he's not seeing anyone but me. He just got divorced so I'm in no way will pressure him to commit right away, I'm going with the flow and hoping that it would lead to something worthy.

Lioness88, I read your post and thought we were dating the same person.. I am a Cancer/Leo cusp. Just post the same scenario in Aquarius and Disappearing Acts. I got tons of affection, pet names from the beginning, he is divorced and working two jobs. He came on strong in the beginning, received text messages every 2 hours for over a month.. Then he slowly backed off, we have not gone all the way which probably saved me looking back now.

I was just like you wondering what happened, how did we get here, received a ton of advice on here. I analyzed his text messages the things he said, the way he looked at me when we were together and ended up worrying myself sick. I have decided enough is enough, Cancers need lots of affection which is what got me sucked in, in the first place. I have since decided I have had enough. I deleted his number to resist the urge to text or call, after 4 days I get a call (which i usually never do) asking if I was back from the holidays (I told him prior I'd be back on friday) I sense he knew I was back and this was just his way of conversation starting, then he proceeded to tell me our communication sucks, as if him making contact before then was nothing that popped into his mind. We talked like usual, that was two days ago, I have not made contact nor has he.. Some times you have to treat people the way they treat you and let the chips fall where they may. Like you, I have not been on a date with him when I asked, his answer was, he has two jobs because one is not enough. That's just an excuse in my opinion, dates don't have a price tag, just two people outside of their homes enjoying each others company. Best of Luck!!

@allluv72
Exactly, I'm not looking to be date to fancy restaurants, you can date me at McDonald's or at the park the hell do I care. He's a service guy, surrounded with so many friends and colleagues, so I understand if I'm not given the time. My gut is telling me he's being honest, it's just that I cannot be a priority, how selfish can I be if I force him to make me a priority given we only know each other for two months. Like most people here are saying, aquas are action speaks louder than words, so I analyze how he is with me, treating me, touching me when we are together and not dwelling on the words that I get or not from him. I back off sometimes and give him space too, I don't text as much anymore but I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he really is feeling something but couldn't express it. I'm being treated nicely and sweet when we are together. He responds whenever I text, it's not like he ignore me for more than a day, though he would only text if I text. And to think that he also has Venus and moon in cap, that would make him very careful and slow to commit. I would be more worried if there is someone else that his seeing, but so far with what I see is that I'm the only one he's seeing at the moment. Commiting with me and make it official is not a priority for me, it's how I could make him trust me that I can care, love and be loyal to him. He told me he got traumatized by a cheating wife on a 8 month marriage, so that I consider a big excuse not to just trust any woman right away. I'm an adult, I chose to have sex with him, I know I shouldn't have, but he's a very charming Aqua lol, I can't help it. 🙂

I like your attitude about this. If you can keep this positive vibe even if things don't work, that speaks volumes for your maturity.

The way I date is simillar to yours.

Not an Aqua, just wanted to say I find the peaceful vibes refreshing. You also seem to take responsibility for wherever this will go and not be the dramatic type, complaining about being taken for granted. There's a risk in everything and a 50-50 chance of it working not or not. Don't fret, do your thing. Who knows..it might actually be a great relationship in the making.

Goodluck!

Try to express your feelings to him, tell him about what is bothering you and why. I am sure you will be assured of something as long as you don't force him into saying anything he did not want to agree to. And dont remind him or make him feel you are his priority [tough he knows it ; he is exploring the possibility of freedom for this relationship ; and if he finds it , he will be yours]. If no freedom found , he will feel like his being caged.Give him some times to adjust !

well.. this is one good aqua dont u guys think? telling u he want to be with u etc. I would have melted and passed out if he would have said this to me over and over. So, hold on to him. Just give him time, he needs to see that u appreciate him and he appreciates u!! he does, i can see that. Replying to u fast not hours or days later.

Ok, not going out on dates etc. Doesnt being cuddled up in bed, couch and being just 2 of u the best date ever? I dont go out with my man alot because we just cannot be without interwined legs and hands all the time lol. We need to be connected through our bodies and thats why we cannot deal with being in restaurants, cinemas etc. We just cant :-P


I suggest u to breath, just be. Are u happy when u are with him? Go with the flow. I dont suggest u to go and say him to define the relationship or telling him all the time how u feel. Just be, enjoy.

@damnata @taurusinsane
That's what I mean, personally I don't really care if he's dating me in a restaurant or cinemas or not. I'm being pressured to the notion that's couple will be considered dating only if they actually date out. I'm getting to know my guy in a more personal level, spending about half a day with him in his place, seeing how he is in his own and most comfortable place for him. Movies? There's netflix for that, and we watched more than one, and we dine in his apartment in a more comfortable way. Of course we cuddle a lot and get intimate. I don't see why people around me keep bugging me that he is no good for me because he is not DATING me..ugh whatever they wanna call it, this guy hs been seeing me for more than two months now, he reply to my text everyday, haven't disappear yet for more than a day unless he's underway(usually 2-3weeks) with his work. He always tells me he likes and want me, though he gets annoyed because I always ask him if he really do. I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt that he is not just after the sex. Oh I just asked him about that today "do you just like me because I give you good sex?" and his response was "no, sex is great but that's not the only thing"...ahhh I told him I don't need anymore elaborate explanation, I can read between the lines. He is honest I can sense, even from the very beginning that we started I have prove his honesty. Yes I also view dating as being together in a more peaceful setting like the apartment..who would wanna always have to take time to get ready and look good for a date? I love the idea of it and I've been there with my previous marriage(10 years) but I think I'm old and mature enough not to require it, I just see it as a validation, to say that the guy is dating you. There is no guarantee in finding love, it's all a risk. People can have 10 dates w/o having sex and on the 11th date you get intimate and find out you don't click, boom end of it all. Or you can have sex as soon as you meet and find out that you guys have a very great chemistry, and stay together for years. I don't judge whether, how soon or how long women give in to sex. If the guy will stay with you, he'll stay with you no matter what.

I just have to ask, how often does he text you first? Or are you the one doing all the initiating?

Here's a little something on venus in capricorn. Hope this helps.

Love profile of Venus in Capricorn
Venus in Capricorn people are attracted to serious, goal-oriented lovers. They are cautious when it comes to love, yet have a hidden passionate side that is only revealed once he or she feels secure. More than anything, the Venus in Capricorn person wants stability and commitment. This person attracts the object of his or her desire by appearing mature and in control. Venus in Capricorn people will try to win your heart by displaying self-control, presence of mind, and responsible behavior. These lovers want you to know they are goal-oriented, witty, savvy, and controlled. They like some measure of predictability in their relationships as they are cautious in love.

If you like knowing where your relationship is headed, you'll be mighty pleased with Venus in Capricorn. Love is a serious business for Venus in any of the Earth signs; but for Venus in Capricorn it is deadly serious. These people will be extremely cautious about getting involved. They will take a long time getting to know a prospective partner and checking out his or her credentials. Unless the prognosis for the relationship is good, they would rather not embark. Ever-practical and achievement-orientated, they do not want to waste their time on something that is not going somewhere. Celebrities with Venus in Capricorn: Brad Pitt, Jim Carrey, Britney Spears, Ben Stiller, Justin Timberlake, Mel Gibson and Elvis Presley.

My aqua has venus in capricorn, as does yours. He's very traditional and old fashioned and he was very slow moving forward in our relationship relationship.

@truecap
He sometimes text me if I don't text him let's say at the start of the day that he don't receive any text from me, he would text me good morning and to check me how I'm doing. And sometimes he will just text to check up on me in the evening if I don't text he will start it, like if we part ways because I went shopping and he do his own thing, he will text me how's the shopping going..stuff like that, but most of the texting would start with me.

@truecap
So what do you mean by that very slow moving into relationships. How long should I wait? How do I initiate that I want us official? Or do I just really go with the flow, and just let things happen if it does? And I don't understand what you mean by stability? Coz I tried to break up with him, I told him I should just leave him alone coz it looks like we are not gonna be dating, but he always refuse to let me go and always say he likes and want me..that's why I'm confused..how can you say you like and want me and yet don't date me? But really I don't even prioritize that dating thing, I just want assurance that we are something...

The old school answer is that's why you don't introduce sex into a relationship until you have been dating for a period of time. Keeping sex out it allows you room to decipher how into you he actually is. Takes a lot of the confusion out of things. They're either dating you or they're not. Don't have to wonder if its just a hookup or a booty call.

But, I know times are different now. Don't think those rules still apply, though I apply them to what makes me comfortable. Stop thinking so much. Come right out and tell him you'd like to go on a date. Or just ask him to go see a certain movie with you. My rule is if I ask, I pay, so be prepared to pay.

Basically, just be direct with him. But you constantly asking for reassurance will come across needy and insecure to him. Just be confident and carry on.

Slow moving into relationshps, well, that's pretty much a given definition I thought. It means taking time. Not rushing. Not saying expressions of feelings until he was sure. Observation to see how things fit into his life. Not placing labels prematurely. Making sure of feelings before they are said. Making sure the label is what he wants before he applies it.

If you can't move slow, then move on.

Posted by truecap
Slow moving into relationshps, well, that's pretty much a given definition I thought. It means taking time. Not rushing. Not saying expressions of feelings until he was sure. Observation to see how things fit into his life. Not placing labels prematurely. Making sure of feelings before they are said. Making sure the label is what he wants before he applies it.

If you can't move slow, then move on.

^^ That, is capricorn venus

Thanks @truecap I've been trying my best to be patient but sometimes my being impatient comes out and I can't control it, I'm a bit insecure too, though I know I'm pretty enough not to. There are guys who wants me and going after me, but this is the guy I want but he's driving me crazy and that makes me insecure. I know it's too early to have a deep feelings for him, but I already have and its eating me up. I'm just reading between the lines of how things are going, really convincing myself that he's really being honest, though I have proved some of the things he said to be true. He still reply to my text whenever I text him, haven't ignore me for more than a day. I try to keep everything in a more of a friendly way so I don't look like a clingy girl, I flirt with him and he likes it, I make him laugh when I do..he just got divorced 3 months ago, so I can see why he would not rush into anything.