Aqua Man Won't Be Serious With Me Because I'm Too Young...

I already have a few Aquas on my strategy panel, but I wanted to get as much input as possible because plotting Scorpio woman must plot.

The age gap is six years.

Long story short, met online. Talked a ton. Hung out twice, had sex both times. I pressured him too hard for a relationship and he walked - I initiated saying I've changed my mind about things, and his reply was "I've also realized that there is no way I can actually date someone that much younger than me. We just have very little in common, and I can't see myself enjoying it very much. You're fun to be around, but at some point it won't be enough." He deleted me off of his social media.

I texted him about three weeks later asking if he'd re-added me on social media or it was a mistake, and we got to talking again after he said he didn't but how was I doing, etc. Various compliments, flirting, life advice at one point. Some key parts of that conversation included him saying he might run into me at my favorite place to go out, encouragement about school, him remembering a mutual friend I told him about in the past ("lol I did pay attention to you when we were together, you know 😛") It gets a little sexy when I tease him and he retorts he remembers that doing it was a "way to make you shut up 😉" He admits he misses me.

I imply he must already be taken up, and I'm still single, and it's a shame. He says he hasn't even been trying - the last time he did anything was with me ("I know...that's sad.") I asked him why, and he said "I just didn't want to."

The killer is this part. "lol. I really do wish you were 3-4 years older. Would've been a huge difference. I can't have anything serious with you though. As much as I want all the other stuff."

He also has been acting all hesitant, which is frustrating to me.

"I'll talk to you later though, sound good? You can also just tell me if you don't want me to."

"If you want, maybe we can chill one of these days after you're on break. Not a problem if you don't want to either haha, just putting it out there."

AND YET, we had a conversation about our goals for dating other people and all, like me telling him about someone I'm talking to and him saying he's gonna drop the apps and go old school.

My question as a Scorpio - can I plot this out and pretend to not care at all so I can get him to say screw the age difference? Or do I just need to go along for the ride and not invest too heavily in this? Despite my love for mystery, my desire for conquest is being more overwhelming.

Bootycall. That's it. This is a man thing not an aqua thing. Older guys look to younger for sex.

Dip: Fair enough, ugh.

Amethysst: One of my Aqua panelists also recommended not giving up the sex and just being platonic with him, or at best going on dates. He tried to tell me at the tail end there that while he's been thinking about having sex with me again ("I wouldn't be a dude if I didn't think about it"), we can still hang out if that's not what I want ("Just wanna make sure you know I'm not doing it for the sex, even though it's regularly on my mind.") And then, just hope mutable Gemini moon changes its mind (it's in opposition to my Sag Mars).

In your honest opinion - what's the best bet here? Settle for FWB, only date him and don't have sex, or walk? Being the fixed sign I am as well as unevolved Scorpio driven by sex and power, I probably won't let go completely until he moves on and all hope is lost.

6 years is hardly an age gap

Posted by Amethysst

Posted by yamilette7410
Dip: Fair enough, ugh.

Amethysst: One of my Aqua panelists also recommended not giving up the sex and just being platonic with him, or at best going on dates. He tried to tell me at the tail end there that while he's been thinking about having sex with me again ("I wouldn't be a dude if I didn't think about it"), we can still hang out if that's not what I want ("Just wanna make sure you know I'm not doing it for the sex, even though it's regularly on my mind.") And then, just hope mutable Gemini moon changes its mind (it's in opposition to my Sag Mars).

In your honest opinion - what's the best bet here? Settle for FWB, only date him and don't have sex, or walk? Being the fixed sign I am as well as unevolved Scorpio driven by sex and power, I probably won't let go completely until he moves on and all hope is lost.

If you really want to keep some closeness to him, I would date without the sex. For scorpios, usually the sex involves some emotional attachment. Unless you're really not into him at all but in your case you have feelings for him and you know getting in bed is only going to make it harder for you when you do have to let go.

In the very beginning when Scorpio and I started dating, I wanted to make sure he wasn't after me only for sex so I refused on our dates even though he initiated it. He obliged and disappeared, I still didn't budge.. months went by of not hearing from and he did come back. We talked some more.. things happened life changed etc and we finally decided to have sex. After that we were hooked, he knew it and I did too which makes me happy that I waited because my emotions were fully invested and it was hard to let go.. your aqua may or may not change his mind because he's also fixed but show him the other parts of you not just sex. Obviously he knows your a good lay but what else is there? Because he's already admitting that you guys have nothing in common.

click to expand

Okay, noted. And it does, for sure. I usually try to pull guys in with the sex as a tool to get them to commit - if they want more, they need to step up. Clearly it's not working in this case, because this silly water sign forgot that air signs don't operate on the surface level by emotions or carnal desires, these shenanigans don't work here.

We definitely flirted sexually a lot before we got down to it - one of the reasons I was more incentivized to lure via sex was because he has a high libido and so do I. I figured if I could be the girl willing/freaky enough to match him that I could succeed. Again, these shenanigans of sexual manipulation don't work here.

We haven't been out much/on many dates. Usually just a meal before because of all the tension we'd build up. I guess I'll try dating and go with the flow of the water-bearer.

One last question - if you don't mind. Should I act nonchalant, like this doesn't matter to me very much? He's obviously open to talking about seeing other people with me, but I don't know if doing the same would be smart or not, he always liked the competitive angle ("I would be disappointed if I lost to (someone with lower social status)").

Posted by yamilette7410

Posted by Amethysst

Posted by yamilette7410
Dip: Fair enough, ugh.

Amethysst: One of my Aqua panelists also recommended not giving up the sex and just being platonic with him, or at best going on dates. He tried to tell me at the tail end there that while he's been thinking about having sex with me again ("I wouldn't be a dude if I didn't think about it"), we can still hang out if that's not what I want ("Just wanna make sure you know I'm not doing it for the sex, even though it's regularly on my mind.") And then, just hope mutable Gemini moon changes its mind (it's in opposition to my Sag Mars).

In your honest opinion - what's the best bet here? Settle for FWB, only date him and don't have sex, or walk? Being the fixed sign I am as well as unevolved Scorpio driven by sex and power, I probably won't let go completely until he moves on and all hope is lost.

If you really want to keep some closeness to him, I would date without the sex. For scorpios, usually the sex involves some emotional attachment. Unless you're really not into him at all but in your case you have feelings for him and you know getting in bed is only going to make it harder for you when you do have to let go.

In the very beginning when Scorpio and I started dating, I wanted to make sure he wasn't after me only for sex so I refused on our dates even though he initiated it. He obliged and disappeared, I still didn't budge.. months went by of not hearing from and he did come back. We talked some more.. things happened life changed etc and we finally decided to have sex. After that we were hooked, he knew it and I did too which makes me happy that I waited because my emotions were fully invested and it was hard to let go.. your aqua may or may not change his mind because he's also fixed but show him the other parts of you not just sex. Obviously he knows your a good lay but what else is there? Because he's already admitting that you guys have nothing in common.

Okay, noted. And it does, for sure. I usually try to pull guys in with the sex as a tool to get them to commit - if they want more, they need to step up. Clearly it's not working in this case, because this silly water sign forgot that air signs don't operate on the surface level by emotions or carnal desires, these shenanigans don't work here.

We definitely flirted sexually a lot before we got down to it - one of the reasons I was more incentivized to lure via sex was because he has a high libido and so do I. I figured if I could be the girl willing/freaky enough to match him that I could succeed. Again, these shenanigans of sexual manipulation don't work here.

We haven't been out much/on many dates. Usually just a meal before because of all the tension we'd build up. I guess I'll try dating and go with the flow of the water-bearer.

One last question - if you don't mind. Should I act nonchalant, like this doesn't matter to me very much? He's obviously open to talking about seeing other people with me, but I don't know if doing the same would be smart or not, he always liked the competitive angle ("I would be disappointed if I lost to (someone with lower social status)").

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If you use sex as a tool and disrespect yourself to allow this to happen. How do you expect an aqua to respect you? Im an Aqua ascend, sagi sun. Sex means more to me then a tool and if a woman uses that against me, then I will not expect anymore from you.

Vulcansfire: My Sun is in the 11th house of Aquarius, so I have personal Aqua influences on my sun sign nature.

I never verbally made this explicit or even implied this, I wouldn't dare. I was using a skill set that usually works on men in my age group, of which this Aqua is not. That's all. I'm here asking for help because my old strategy wasn't working and I'm looking for a new one.

I usually try to pull guys in with the sex as a tool to get them to commit - if they want more, they need to step up.

This just sounds wrong... sorry.. if you need to do this to make them commit...

Besides, he told you already.. he gave you an answer.. he wont date you, if you want you can sometimes have sex with him till he finds someone that suits him..

im sorry.. it would be best to move on..

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
6 years is hardly an age gap

I know...but in all honesty we are in pretty different places in life. He's already working and has completed graduate education, and I'm still trying to finish undergrad. Same field though.

But the feedback I'm getting is Aqua says what they mean, so this must bother him.

Posted by Se7en
How old are you?

I'm 21, born 11/01.

Posted by hera

I usually try to pull guys in with the sex as a tool to get them to commit - if they want more, they need to step up.

This just sounds wrong... sorry.. if you need to do this to make them commit...

Besides, he told you already.. he gave you an answer.. he wont date you, if you want you can sometimes have sex with him till he finds someone that suits him..

im sorry.. it would be best to move on..

click to expand

I know it does, I admit to that. Like I told Vulcansfire, it's a skill set that doesn't transfer to grown men who aren't completely driven by sex and sexual conquests.

I hear you though, thanks for the advice.