aquarius female confusing

Is causing me to question our relationship. So she is aqua sun, cancer moon, aqua mercury, capricorn Venus, scorpio mars. I am Gemini sun, pisces moon, Gemini mercury, gemini Venus, and Taurus mars. We have only been together a few months and initially we were so in sync with one another. Everything.was great and we both felt the other had hung the moon. She initiated being in a relationship and I agreed because it's what I desired also. Now however we argue every weekend and it seems hopeless to to stop it. She says we are so much alike, that it's scary and both shut down when upset. So of course no one is making up because we both just brood and keep an attitude. She made the statement that since we have known each other she hasn't taken time to think but now she is and everything is just too much. She doesn't trust me because she feels I don't answer questions directly, however one minute she says I talk too much, the next I don't talk enough and she wants to know everything about me. She also feels I attempt to tell her what to do and I feel she critiques me and my habits way too much. We have such a strong connection and I care about her but I'm tired of the misunderstandings and I know she is. I'm attempting to figure out how to work things out and better communicate. She also feels I don't show her enough affection when I visit. I don't sit up under her and be touchy feely and she wants that. I was thinking maybe in order to save what we have it may be best if we slow down and build a strong foundation. I am worried though that she may think I don't want to be a couple and decide she wants to just part ways. I am confused and any advise will be appreciated.

For Aqua friendship is everything and her partner/husband is a special friend (if not less).
In nutshell you would not expect same level of passion,devotion and consistency from aqua as you would with other signs.
She is mood based.One moment she would expect you to ask her anything you want (literally anything) and she will answer honestly.And other moment push her to tell you something you will get an extreme cold shoulder. So if its her mood to listen to you she will expect you to share everything.If its not you better give her space.
All these things happen during the start.But they get mature gradually.
So all I suggest is take it slow. Treat her like a special friend.Don't be overly emotional with her at this time.Its fun and fun to be with her (when she is in mood).She is fascinating,exciting.She is passionate and emotional but won't let herself go so deep.Because she values her freedom more den anything else.
So give her space whenever she asks but be there for her whenever she wants u.In return she will love you more and support you in most difficult times. Don't sound emotionally too needy.Its hell hard.I know.
Don't make anything sound like a demand or dont push her (be it going out,romance,sex).Because you tying her down emotionaly or by demanding will give her a sense of insecurity (loosing freedom) and she will distant herself from you.Be tactful with her.And she is all yours.

Good luck

Thanks Taurusguy!

What you are saying is so true and seems to be pretty much her attitude at this point. She told me that she only allows herself to reach a certain point where love is concerned. I am a Gemini and thought I was "double minded" and " moody" but she takes the cake with her actions. We did speak and decide to be just friends, build a solid relationship and see where it goes. We still make out ( no sex), are affectionate and so on, but she is choosing to do more and more with her friends and sound so disappointed when she is not able to be there for them more. I am not even sure if it is wise for me to be "friends" with her because I still have feelings and a vested interest in the way it turns out. I don't feel I am being a true honest friend if there are still lingering feelings, expectations and so on.

I know exactly what you saying.
Aquas are different. In nutshell they are those type of people who want to change world,humanitarian. They want to be there for society,friends but dey don't want anyone in return to possess them or tie them down because dey value independence more den anything else.Its really hard.I know being in relationship with such ppl is challenging.
One day they will make you feel they have no feelings for you and dat you are just a friend. Other day they will have feelings for you and expect you to treat them specially.
Whether you want to be her friend or partner you need to be really in control of your emotions.You are her special friend with the exception (you could share special moments of love,affection,intimacy).
At this time it might sound like she is 80% your friend and 20% your girl friend.But be her that special friend.Give her freedom but be her bf too when she wants. If you do it nicely the bf factor will increase every passing day but be sure you wont be her bf or partner 100% ..Never ever.
It sounds hard.They are complicated to begin with.But be calm and be patiennt.Make you repo of great friend in her eyes.Make her feel you are completely harmless.Make her beliv by your acts that you will never hurt her feelings.Gradually she will be yours.
But you see (apart from that intense emotional response or committment) they are cool.They are fun to be with. They are extremely supportive. When time comes you will know they will deliver the help that most of the men also can't deliver.In hard difficult times. They are full of ideas and they are selfless in giving suggestions,ideas or help.If you prove that you are that special friend she will be a great company and support (but don't just possess her).

Your card is. Make her want you.Not the other way round. But when she wants you be there.

Good luck

Hmmm, more great advise and sounds so true of how our relationship works. We are intimate when she wants, affectionate when she wants and if I push her for affection when she doesnt want to be... Oh man, she really catches an attitude. I have been giving her space, but I think it was pretty obvious to her I wanted to know where we stood. I am huge on communication and when I don't know something it nags at the back of my mind and I just have to know. Needless to say we had a conversation weeks back and she made it clear that MY insecurity about our relationship is causing problems. Even though I had plenty of reason to wonder because she was withdrawing and feeling sad over the lost of friendship with an ex. She basically told me our relationship was becoming more of a "weight" to carry than a rock and the fun, comfort and positive she hoped for wasn't happening. Well, we pushed past all that and at this time, like I said, we are "special friends". She expressed a desire to know what she really wants from life, to travel, see her friends more ( feels she abandoned some of them) and just have her "me" time. I understand all of that and have been giving her space to do it.

I can tell this is going to be one rocky road... lawd help me

As an Aqua I have to tell you that she'll do as she please while you let her.

If you feel you aren't getting treated the best - put your foot down. An Aqua will respect that. We like strong people who will stand up to us and call us on our shit. We may not like hearing it at the time but it does create a huge sense of respect for a person who says "You know what? Fuck being treated this way. Treat me right or shove it up your arse".

Walking around on eggshells after her won't make it any easier for you. So stop doing it and stand up for yourself.

NZAqua your so right but she just doesn't take too kindly to what she perceives as criticism or personal attack against her.... Even if it's constructive and proven. Anytime I attempt to express how her actions or lack of communication affects our relationship she feels I'm telling her what to do and how to act. Of course, as a gemini, I want to lay into her and call her on all her crap but a part of me fears it will cause her to retreat even further. Is there a way to tell a aqua how you feel without them running and someone making you feel like the bad person? I almost feel like she is daring me to say what's on my mind. The other day I was mulling over confronting her about something and she text me " what's wrong"? I told her nothing, but she didn't believe me and caught an attitude. That was 2 says ago and we went the whole next day with no contact at all. I care about her but I'm not sure I have the patience to see this to the end.

Yes, this is the way to do it:

"I don't feel this situation is working well for me right now. I don't like the way I feel at times and I'd rather not continue with juggling the emotions I have".

This is a non-confrontational way to express you are unhappy, it doesn't place blame, it is a statement involving only you and your feelings. It states clearly you aren't enjoying the situation. If she wants to ask what you're unhappy with then answer using non-blaming ways, such as "I'm unhappy with trying to achieve a better level of communication because what WE have right now doesn't appear to be working". Or "I don't enjoy feeling like I'm in a challenge for confrontation. Therefore I opt to stay away from all level of hostility until we can reach an agreement to use non-confrontational and high-attention listening skills".

And so forth.