Aquas and jealousy

I re-posted some comments from OneFineAquarius from a previous discussion on Aqua behaviors and relationships. She has been super helpful in explaining some of the actions I didn't understand with my ex-Aqua guy.

"....I just felt very comfortable where I was with that guy. I think maybe we are the same way when we have no control over something, I want to change things and go back and make things the way they used to be. But yes, I guess I can attest to the saying, Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I didn't realize how much I cared for him until he was gone. And now, I have no idea what will happen."

"....It's the excitement. So as soon as I pushed Guy#1 out of the picture, I began to sorely miss him and still do. Now I'm hitting my head on the wall lol I also got extremely jealous when I saw him with another girl once and hopeful when the next time I saw him, he was by himself."


I just wanted to know where Aquas stood with jealousy. I have read that they aren't jealous due to the detachment factor but then I have also seen it listed as a trait. Just alittle confused.

Can Aquas (esp men) become jealous if they saw or heard that someone they were very close to (had relationship but stopped it when it was too intense/commital) starts dating another person? What actions would signify the jealousy?

For example,

-being so supportive of the relationship/giving your blessings ("I think it's great you're seeing someone")
-introducing yourself/shake hands with the new guy if you happen to bump into each other

Would you guys revert to the extreme to prove your not jealous when in fact you are?

So this is when the aloofness is put on full throttle— :-)

Wait-so you are technically seeing someone but sort of brushed it off when someone from the past paid you a compliment and asked you if you're seeing someone? Why would you be aloof in that situation? Are you jealous you can't be with him cause you "have" a boyfriend at the moment?

I used to from time to time pay nice, sincere compliments to my old Aqua ("you looked really good the other night")especially when he stared working out and dropped some weight. He never said anything but I knew he liked it.

So given that an Aqua still cares for the person, the only action that truly demonstrates possible jealousy is aloofness? There would be no condecending manner of "I think it's great you're seeing someone." ?

It's difficult for me to just push someone to the curb after being at all intimate with them


Wasn't too difficult for my ex Aqua.

Wow, such interesting information posted. Just difficult to dissect since you guys somewhat play the games but refuse to have it done to you in any way.... I know I know ...you all have said..some things you do make no sense.

As for the "jealousy games," my intent was not so much a game aspect to the jealousy.
I was pushed aside by him and it took him a couple of months before he started seeing someone else. I was always civil and friendly to him the entire time. Then, just recently (after not seeing him for a couple months) I ran into him on the street dressed all cute running to dinner. Previous to this, I barely heard from him. Afterward, he was emailing me asking me about that night-where was I going, what is the restaurant like etc. Basically he was sniffing to see if I was on a date. I gave him no information but just said the restaurant was a great place for a date-kept it nice but vague. I really wasn't trying to play a game. Only after did I realize that Aquas have to know what's going on-hate vagueness.

So I am assuming he is still dating this person and technically thinks I am now seeing someone as well (although he has no concrete evidence-just speculation).

I guess I opened up this discussion to see if there was any slight jealousy on his part to this speculation of his (was a very possessive person to me when together). If so, would it be even worse if he indeed saw me with some (physically in person). He has never known me with another person and I am not the type of person to just grab anyone to be with to make a game of it with him. So if he saw me with someone, he'd know it was on the path to being something -not a fling to make him jealous.

Sorry, LOL-I just ramble on. I love you guys but I am so confused. Always got to keep us on our toes..:-)

Thanks primegen. Yes, many people have pointed out that he is self centered just based on how he ended it with us but believe me, he's not the type to cheat on anyone and would never come to me for a secret one-night fling. That's why I thought it might be a hint of jealousy.

I have no desire what so ever to know what she is doing or with whom.

Interesting....long before we ran into each other and he was dating this person, all small-talk would be about himself when IMing. After he saw me, there was a shift in focus to things in my life...although he has never outright asked me if I am dating anyone right now despite any speculation from that evening.

I am ready to move on. Naturally you tend to think of all the wonderful qualities they have but the more you think about relationship, you slowly absorb all the negative and harmful words/actions they gave you.

I guess my wish would be to date a wonderful person and run into him or have him just see me with this person. It's not a Taurus vs Aqua thing-just a normal human reaction to "stick it back" to them. I don't do games but when someone throws you to the curb with no warning, you want something to kick them in the stomach for the pain they caused even if it only lasts for a couple hours and then they're over it.

Hahah-it probably is a female instinct. Thanks for the info. I know his moon is in Scorpio so he could be more inclined to have some jealousy. Like I said, he was very possessive of me when we were together. Well, on to a better someone for me as well. This girl of his can have him. They always say the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Keep you guys posted :-)

OK primegen....

You mentioned that you take no interest in former relationships. My ex Aqua just out of the blue inquired if I will be around for this festival held in our city in a couple of weeks. I have not hung out with him since I moved which was months ago when he was in full swing with his new relationship. All during this time, he has never inquired, invited me out or even was remotely interested in what I was doing at all regardless on a certain weekend. I said I might be going. He tried to use the " I want to see who is all going" but he has never been one to round people up to go to events. He asked one more time if I was going to sort of confirm it. WTF? Why all of a sudden is he wanting to hang out? I also noticed that he is working alot. He's in very early in the morning. Might not mean anything but do you guys bury yourself in work if something was bothering you?

Thankfully, for me personally, I don't get very jealous....well just on very rare occasions.
I do hear other friends complain when their guys ogle nice booty or ladies!! on t.v. or in magazines....me,I couldn't give a dam when Mr. V. says he fancies such and such on t.v. etc. When he says this, I just reply back - you keep your eyes on the women like mine are on the men!!! If I was to get a penny for everytime he says he'd have Christine Aguilar...I'd be a millionaire!!!!!
However, I would say I get quick flashes of jealousy usually when I've drank a little too much.....these feelings only last a few minutes or less though and the feeling dissipates as suddenly as it came!!!! where to....god knows!!!— And I will never in a million years admit or display my jealousy....I'd win an oscar for "Ms. I don't give a dam" who you've had or who you are after!!!
Just the once, I remember displaying my jealousy and it all backfired....I was in a niteclub and I seen Mr. Virgo playfully pull a girl's pony-tail on her way to the ladies...now usually it's me pulling the guy's ponytails:-)!!! but this huge surge of jealousy took over...I berated Mr. Virgo and then started to dance with the girl's boyfriend - it was all so juvenile!!! Her boyfriend was no more interested in me than the man on the moon.....I embarrassed him, made her angry, made Mr. Virgo know that I was jealous and cared alot and made a fool of myself!!!!!!Brian Ferry eat your heart out...you jealous guy!!!

Funny enough though, I just don't like to hear about Mr. Virgo's ex-es. He likes to delve into the all of mine but I never divulge. He'll talk about his given the chance but I don't like it and change the subject immediately saying that's a private matter between you and your ex-lover...for this I feel uncomfortable and jealous for some reason even though it's in the past.

Strange creature me.............

But overall most Aquarians I know are just not the jealous type......too many people and situations out there to encounter and embrace.......:-)

A x