Are You Aware of Yourself?

I don't think I am very in tune with myself. By that I mean I am not as familiar as I should be with the inner workings of my body as a whole. I put this down to me being quite an anxious person. My nerves block me from tuning into the rhythms and of my body. I liken it to the sound that the sea makes as it washes up on the shore. I can't hear my inner flow because there is constant static interferences from my oveactive stress receptors.

I think this may be a common state amoung Aquarians, or even further afield, to air signs.

Does anyone relate?

MD....check out this site, you may find it very informative - it's ALL about the mind 😉

www.centerpointe.com

have fun exploring!

Thanks Freebird. I will definitely check it out 🙂

MD, do you ever try and meditate?

You may on to something .. my late mother was Aqua and wasn't able to focus because of her stress level .. she was a stubborn one though, lol. Even if she could relax enough to try and center herself .. as soon as room in her head was available, she was off fixating her brain about something else.

Maybe some soft, soothing music played at night .. a tape played during sleep subliminal messages.

Good idea P-Angel, I actually signed up to the mediation site that Freebird directed me to and they're sending me out a free demo CD of "turbo meditation" hehe!

I don't think playing a relaxation CD whileI;m asleep would work as I tend to need ear plugs to get to sleep as any noise prevents me from nodding off. Besides I find that sleep is very restorative for me; it's more when I am wake that I need to manage my tendency to anxiety much better.

Yes I can relate, my energy levels was off for years (10 - late 20's), I was nervous, anxious, always had a deep dark pit at the bottom my stomach, dealt with self doubt, self hatred, depression, just all around emotional issues with no medication to soothe it and honestly didn't understand it, in my early 20's I slept alot to ward off depression, had a hard time coping with life in general, I manage to work and make friends but none of it was satisfying or gratifying and all I knew was that I was physically healthy, meaning no illnesses but emotionally out of tune with myself.

I dealt with this from pre-teen to adulthood and that was a mess and it was relentless. Can you imagine walking around and you look normal but your being tormented by your own insecurities and anxieties, 365 days a year whew!! It's a wonder I'm still sane lol!! I can't remember one truly happy moment.

It got pretty bad and I won't go into how I was able to overcome it here b/c I don't want to turn anyone off (might come off as too spiritual or preachy).

What I can do is thank God and my Spirit Guide for helping me out of that vicious, nasty cycle and a plethora of books, buddhist bible, conversations with god, urantia book, course in miracles and a slew of others, meditation helps and right now I'm reading The Secret.

I took 6 years to become consciously aware of myself, no men, no interaction with the world outside of work and daily task, I literally sat with my demons, dealt with the issues head on, was brutally honest with myself and made amends with people that I thought hurt me etc...I nurtured myself and just took that time to heal every misthought, every wound that surfaced and caused me undescribable emotional pain.

I'm in a better place emotionally thank God but I truly feel if I haven't taken that time to love me, I would be struggling today.

I realize this was my way and I chose it b/c i was comfortable with it but its not the only way, its one of many ways of doing it.

I even find that when I'm temporarily immersed in my own life today that the spark of light or consciousness within me never dies, its always there to help me when I need assistance or need emotional peace when things seem out of control.

Becoming self aware, the way I chose can and is a lonely journey, most people will not choose it because its a full time job but the end results are so worth it but the key to understanding is that it never ends, the journey never ends.

good luck!

You will get there, be patient with yourself and never give up seeking that peace from within.

tiki is very pretty yes.

Hey MD....congrats on ordering the CD - you're gonna love it!

btw - you will need a CD player with stereo headphones. You will be greatly surprised that you can use this before bed and first thing in the AM before getting out of bed.

Get ready for your world to change my friend! for the better 😉

ROTFL@tiki you really remind me of lilo & stitch.

yeah okay whatever! *mwah*

LOL

tiki your past situation is sounding very familiar ATM

tiki your past situation is sounding very familiar ATM

How so? Do tell hehe

Honestly I was thinking of Buddha when I posted my story but I guess I'm stuck with Lilo and Stitch...jus so you know I'm more of the stitch type!

I just see some of those things going on in my life right now.

just keep working at it and self evaluating your feelings, be honest about it and don't ignore it...its tough, sh*t its a struggle I'm not even going to lie but if you keep chipping at it, you will find some resolve, I still have emotional issues from time to time when something comes up but it doesn't feel compounded with all the heavy negativity and self hatred and it doesn't stick with me for days and months on end...I have tools to deal with anything that comes up now.

gotta be fearless and tackle that elephant in the room but first u gotta acknowlege that its even in the room before you can deal with it.

Funny, I honestly dont allow myself to feel depressed or self hatred (im to conceited for that 😛)...but its like im looking for something that I cant find...or may not exist. I really dont know what I want, but it sure as hell aint this (life)....

lol@ I really dont know what I want, but it sure as hell aint this (life)....

I can totally relate and I wish I had some of that self love back then, I probably wouldn't have dealt with so much emotional hell but hey, it was what it was.

I know that searching feeling, I have definitely done that, haven't done it in a few years, I'm content but you will see that its you (the real you) your searching for, the men, the money, food or whatever your achilles heel might be is just a means to forget and to keep searching for whats already there...sounds weird but its the truth, keep looking and you will see for yourself.

is it possible for someone to be annoying, even online? lol!

LMAO@Yes. Me.

least your honest, your alright with me..

"I dealt with this from pre-teen to adulthood and that was a mess and it was relentless. Can you imagine walking around and you look normal but your being tormented by your own insecurities and anxieties, 365 days a year whew!! It's a wonder I'm still sane lol!! I can't remember one truly happy moment. "

Tiki although I'm not an air sign I had a similar experience between late teens and 24 only it made me ill through all the stress and anxiety going on inside and I too sorted my own head out and learned to completely relax mind and body. "

I can really relate to this state of feeling but I reckon that this may have something to do with my capricorn planets.

I was just thinking the same thing DepthCharge.

MellowDee, everyone is different and the intensity of how or what each person feels is different.

I am also an Aquarian with a Virgo Rising, so talk about internal conflict! When i was 18 i experienced extreme depression for about 1 year. I can relate to all the comments made so far on this thread. What saved me, believe it or not, was Health, Fitness & Diet. I changed my internal focus from a boohoo state to damn it! ... I am not going to accept these feelings. I shut them down and didn't allow them to control me anymore.

It wasn't necessarily bliss from this point on, but i was in control. It wasn't until i hit the age of 32/33 that i can honestly say, i am strong, i am confident & i absolutely love life. I am able now to do a lot of self reflection, self analyzing and assessment of my inner workings ... and i learn from my discoveries. I now can experience a deeper empathy for others & i have the inner strength and knowledge to help others when they ask for it.

Find your inner strength which ever way suites you, and stick to it. Everything will fall into place for you. Don't worry and give yourself permission to be Human!

*blushing* thanks DepthCharge and MellowDee!

Hi Freebird just to let you know that I receievd the demo CD from Holosync in the post and I read all the information supporting it. But I am very skeptical about this type of persuasive literature which extoles the virtues of a product to the skies while at the same time talks money and explains how to pay and how much of a bargain it is.

This to me is just co-ercive marketting which I don't like. I would prefer if they simply explained the effectiveness of the CDs and then state the price instead of describing all the intricate ways of paying and how each one is giving you a great bargain and is almost a give away at these prices. Personally I consider the package pretty expensive even if there is a full money back guarantee if the customer is not completely satisfied.

Maybe I am in the small class of consumers who don't respond favourably to this kind of advertising as I feel basically that it is just a clever way to get a person to part with their money. So for this reason I don't want to purchase these CDs.

Freebird did you buy the whole package? And if so, what are your impressions of it. Has it created great imporvements for you and done what it said on the leaflet??

Hehe!....Yes I also got that email entitled "Let us bribe you".
And on opening it, it's just more of the same thing. Trying to convince you to send them some money in exchange for some mind-enhancing material.

If it cost around $ 50 or thereabouts then I might be willing to pay that to give it a go but it just costs too much and as I said before, all those repetitive persuasive descriptions of how great it is, make me less convinced.

hehe!! Yes indeed.

I must go and visit a salon sometime soon. I've been introduced somewhat lately to the wonderful concept of layers and they suit my type of head quite well 🙂

Yes they are a very complimetary type of hair style . I think I'm gonna go back and get the layers I have more defined. I like the lift it gives to the hair at the back of my head; it adds more volume too.

How's tricks archer? How's the love life? 😉

Pluto's_Muse:

I did yoga years ago but I haven't attempted recently. I might give it a shot.

Thanks for the tip.

oh ya know...at work...half alert-half day dreaming mode.

Going to Paris in mid july. Love life so so. Still looking for the man that I really connect with. Chilling out though.

Where you going on vacation?