Buddies W/ Benefits ... Oh My!

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by cappysweetie on Saturday, June 17, 2006 and has 12 replies.

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@cappysweetie
20 Years10,000+ Posts

This was sparked by a discussion I was have with Primegen and GL

This type of partnership has always been confusing to me ?..

The trendy Friends With Benefits trend is very strong where I live and in my generation. However, I don?t understand the excitement nor to I get the logic in sleeping with someone you call a friend β€”?? This totally mixing platonic elements with Eros elements . Being a cappy, I enjoy observing people and this is what I?ve concluded about this type of partnership :

With Friends W/ Benefits there are two types of people involved : The Negotiator and the Servant

The "Negotiator" (aka Pimp) is that one whose the basically calling all the shots. They don't have to be there for you but you need to be there for them when they need you. They keep their victims .... I mean the Servant or Servants are keep happy by just being within the Negot.'s company -- *** apparently they are considered guys gift *** The Negot. also wants to be treated like an actual boyfriend or girlfriend BUT (!!!!!) doesn't want to be given that title because it means ....'responsible'. So basically The Negot bull-shits the hell out of the Servants because they don't want to lose control of their emotional mind slaves

The "Servants" (aka whores ... hey it just goes along with Pimp πŸ˜‰) are the ones who do whatever The Negot. Commands. the servants are convinced that The Negot. is the best thing they can get ? so they proudly except the title of NOT being considered anything more but just a friend who gives ?benefits?. The Negot. Wants the servants to conduct themselves as if they were their ?significant? other -- although The Negot. Is very reluctant when it comes to getting involved in a REAL relationship.

All and all, I believe that the whole ?Buddies with Benefits? phenomenon is just a waste of time and energy. This type of an arrangement is nothing more than a cope out to those who still what to play the field until they are in their 30s, 40s, 50s and yes even their 60s -- hahaha it?s amazing how long I takes some people to get serious.

Why are people so afraid to be in a relationship but they are willing to get involved in a partnership such as this β€”β€” In the long-tern ?Buddies w/ Benefits? carries far more risks -- for those why don?t understand what I mean ? just think about ? you will eventually πŸ˜‰

I just want to know why is responsiblity in a relationship sooooo disarming β€”?

Okay, gotta get back to work ... c ya

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@cappysweetie
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OOOOOO MY GOODNESS ... it's soooooo hot outside .... I need air ... darn it! Being inside a hot place sucks! Ick!

But anyway, remember Prime I now sooooo I didn't know TC or TG posted something like this. My point was to find out why people actually do it. A real relationship just seems easier to me .....

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@cappysweetie
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Well, people are different and we ALL have different sex drives. I believe that also determines whether or not you'd be into it. Where I come from and from what I've seen ... these sort of partnerships seem to cause more harm then good.

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@cappysweetie
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I can see where you are coming from ... but I look at sex as something engage in within a relationship. I would never let a man touch me without it being my significant other ... it also helps that I am a cappy ... we can control our "nature" pretty well πŸ˜‰

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@cappysweetie
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Really GL β€”?

OH DEAR, poor you πŸ™‚ I know a few people on the cappy/aqua cusps ... yep, it's all downhill πŸ˜„ Well, being on the Sagitt./cappy cusp is no fun either mind you ... I'd grown accustomed to chilly water when bathing πŸ˜‰

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@cappysweetie
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"And what you say is totally respectable, by the way."

Why thanking GL πŸ™‚ However, I'd be lying if I were to say that I didn't feel "Like A Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" at times. However, I just try to keep things in prospective ... what if I decided to shag a friend and feelings started to arise between one but not the other β€”? Here goes emotional discontentment ... I just don't want to deal with that. Jeeezzzz I'd run a mile first πŸ˜‰

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@cappysweetie
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prime, "I don't do friends with benefits, that's for posers who want to pretend they don't have feelings. Or basically for people who can't control their base hormones."

I have an Aqua moon Prime, so I agree with you πŸ™‚ However, I also respect the fact that GL would do it with a friend as oppose to just banging some dude .... MAD RESPECT FOR YOU LADY πŸ˜‰

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@cappysweetie
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Prime and GL

Where I live, it odd to hear of a woman/ girl who won't screw on a whim. I feel like an oddball because I'm not the type to just have casual sex for many reasons:

1) Vanity -- no, I'm not arrogant but I am private what my loins πŸ˜‰
I don't want several men knowing what I'm "like". Do you know what I mean. I really don't want to be the latest gossip inside a bar or in a gym. Since I work for a fitness center/ gym I hear the way both men and women talk about each other sexually. Yes, it's the "in" thing for females to express themselves sexually and all but I prefer my ?expressions? to be within a relationship. Hey those are just my ethics, I haven?t nothing against anyone whose different either.

2) Diseases -- there are viruses that can burn they way through condoms NOW.
So why on earth would I risk infecting my body just too get laid ? No way! It?s bad enough some people have to watch and beware of those that WANT to infect you with what they have just for the hell of it!

3) It?s just the way I feel πŸ™‚
I don?t want to be with too many men because if I do ? I?m afraid that I will be ?empty? when it comes the time for me to fully express myself to a man that I REALLY love. If sex is just sex, then it is boring after a while. If sex is ?making love? then it progressive.

I hope the above makes sense πŸ™‚

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@cappysweetie
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Thank you Vanessa πŸ™‚

I'm just not too quick to let every guy I'm involved with "KNOW" me like that. If I want to relief myself from of stress ... I'll go and do some aerobics or something like that ..........

Hahahaha, it's a good thing my buddy Branh0913 isn't on right now ... he'd probably think I was a nun or something LOL!!!!!! And that would be terrible if he were to think that.

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@cappysweetie
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LOL NOOOOO I was just kidding, Mr.Branh and I are as cool as coconut-cream pies ^_^ Yep yep yep yep yep yep ^_^.

I use to feel inadequate, but not anymore. Its a waste worrying about what "those" people think. However, it is possible to feel a little inferior sometimes.