The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
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Endings - Are Water Bearers usually this Callous and Vindictive ?
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Three hours of argument that ensued. Essentially him saying anything he could, constantly changing his words, evading me at all cost. Throwing whatever possible lie or excuse he could at me, even if everything contradicted itself and made no sense. He undid every single promise he ever made me before. Blaming me for everything, he acted like a cornered animal. As if, in a moment, nothing matter, I was merely rubbish.
Gaslighting me, as I brought up every single thing about our relationship, asking questions. The more truths I put forth, the more he mentally / emotionally blocked me out. Keep in mind I was not hurling abuse at him, nor hateful words. I was merely trying to pin him down using truth and facts for what I deserved, the honest truth, acknowledgement. To no fail, that did not work. He was in the wrong here, not I. He never communicated, and I always treated him with love, care, kindness, and respect. He refused to take responsibility. I knew he was lying to me, about many things. He refused to confess when even when caught in the face of my figuring things out.
He sometimes even looked at me shocked, and said how did you know, how could you have figured it out. He admitted I was far more intelligent than he was, always was, in everything. He also admitted, he is aware he would not be able to find any better than me, once I am gone. He will never find another woman to treat him as well as I have, nor care, nor will he find another woman and have such feelings for in such ways ever again. There will be no other like me, he knows it.
Then he would oscillate between saying he hated me, he had deep feelings for me, he disliked me, he liked me, everything on the spectrum etc. He would want to be friends one minute, the next, that we should never see each other after this, to could we be in a friends with benefits or open relationship, to we were never in a relationship, I do not ever want to talk or see your face ever again. He was all over the place, and when I pointed it out, it threw him into a rage. The truth, kept making him more and more enraged. He told me to pack and threw me out during the wee hours of morning (by this point, we both had not slept). Thankfully, I was a wise woman and always had my own home during all of this (having only kept a minimal of my belongings at his home).
How callous, how disrespectful, I was thrown out like a dog !
I could only move half of my belongings, I took it home, and messaged him that I would take the rest of it within the next few hours. Initially, he told me to take my time to move my belongings, but that I could never stay over again, could only come in the mornings. With his inconsistencies, his words were not to be trusted. I told him I would give him what he wanted as soon as I could, his freedom, I would want him happy. I do not wish to prolong the process. He look at me at times enraged, other moments, as if someone killed a puppy.
Finally I went back, took the rest of my belongings as best I could but still could not manage it all. Told him, I would not be writing him, to please leave me alone and let me heal. I stuck to my words, but in a few mere hours he wrote me accusing me of threatening him about his career (he told me a few secrets, of his future plans that nobody in his industry knows of), of having a copy of his keys, and all sorts of impossible things. I was calm but firm, told him to stop his accusations, he has crushed me and hurt me enough as it is. I have been outright disrespected, treated like a dog, and thrown out. Please leave me alone to forget this nightmare, to heal, and to move on. That angered him, he kept pushing me more. He refused to let go, I exploded. Not in anger, or in vile language but in my brutal criticism and truth of the matter. I spared no filters, I got down to the core of it. He was not respecting me when I asked him not to push, time and time again. He tried to play victim for a while and declared a friendship. However, after how he showed me his true colours, I no longer wanted a friendship. I wanted to be left alone, I wanted to move on, I wanted to heal from the pain.
Then it became war, on his part.
He shouted at me through messages. He hurled more hateful words at me, said he never wanted to see or talk to me again. No more friendship, nothing at all. Will leave my belongings outside his home, and I could pick them up. He would cancel and block me on any mutual connection platforms we are on. He declared my words as all bullturd, when quite frankly it was the truth. He knows it, as well. I was meant to be able to pick up my last few belongings the following day. However, he told me he would block me till four days later, a Thursday. Before I could say anything, I was cut out. He said we will talk then. I did not like having to drag this out. When things finish, I prefer to tear it off like a bandaid.
He unblocked me on half of the platforms, immediately the next day. However, I did not write or reach out. I truly wanted to be alone, and mull over my own wounds. Then most recently, he wrote me, before the four days was over, on a Wednesday. To not talk but be exceedingly rude, to give me an option to pick it up immediately or to wait till Saturday. Enough games, I did not deserve this at all. I had done nothing wrong all along, I did not deserve such hate, spitefulness, vindictiveness, or vengeful ways. I told him I will pick it up the next day, on Thursday, as previously said. I did not wish to prolong it. He kept making my life difficult saying that was not possible. Which meant, he already found my replacement, or at least a woman will be at his place on Thursday and Friday. I told him regardless, I will be arriving. He told me he will simply leave it out, if anything happens to it that will be my fault. I told him, tell me the time, when you will put it out, I will be there. He would not let me arrive the moment he took it out. I told him, enough, you have your wishes so do I, respect my choices. I wish to ensure my belongings are safe, I will pick them up the minute you put them out. I will not talk to you, or whoever you are with at your home.
He blocked me for a few days, to find a woman, to shove in my face that he did not miss me ?
He prolonged things to prove that point to me ?
He was the one to finish what we had, was that not enough ?
Why would he not let me move on, and pick up the rest of my belongings, immediately the day after (after all, I had made that request, I just wanted to move on) ?
Are Water Bearers usually this vengeful and callous ?
Gaslighting me, as I brought up every single thing about our relationship, asking questions. The more truths I put forth, the more he mentally / emotionally blocked me out. Keep in mind I was not hurling abuse at him, nor hateful words. I was merely trying to pin him down using truth and facts for what I deserved, the honest truth, acknowledgement. To no fail, that did not work. He was in the wrong here, not I. He never communicated, and I always treated him with love, care, kindness, and respect. He refused to take responsibility. I knew he was lying to me, about many things. He refused to confess when even when caught in the face of my figuring things out.
He sometimes even looked at me shocked, and said how did you know, how could you have figured it out. He admitted I was far more intelligent than he was, always was, in everything. He also admitted, he is aware he would not be able to find any better than me, once I am gone. He will never find another woman to treat him as well as I have, nor care, nor will he find another woman and have such feelings for in such ways ever again. There will be no other like me, he knows it.
Then he would oscillate between saying he hated me, he had deep feelings for me, he disliked me, he liked me, everything on the spectrum etc. He would want to be friends one minute, the next, that we should never see each other after this, to could we be in a friends with benefits or open relationship, to we were never in a relationship, I do not ever want to talk or see your face ever again. He was all over the place, and when I pointed it out, it threw him into a rage. The truth, kept making him more and more enraged. He told me to pack and threw me out during the wee hours of morning (by this point, we both had not slept). Thankfully, I was a wise woman and always had my own home during all of this (having only kept a minimal of my belongings at his home).
How callous, how disrespectful, I was thrown out like a dog !
I could only move half of my belongings, I took it home, and messaged him that I would take the rest of it within the next few hours. Initially, he told me to take my time to move my belongings, but that I could never stay over again, could only come in the mornings. With his inconsistencies, his words were not to be trusted. I told him I would give him what he wanted as soon as I could, his freedom, I would want him happy. I do not wish to prolong the process. He look at me at times enraged, other moments, as if someone killed a puppy.
Finally I went back, took the rest of my belongings as best I could but still could not manage it all. Told him, I would not be writing him, to please leave me alone and let me heal. I stuck to my words, but in a few mere hours he wrote me accusing me of threatening him about his career (he told me a few secrets, of his future plans that nobody in his industry knows of), of having a copy of his keys, and all sorts of impossible things. I was calm but firm, told him to stop his accusations, he has crushed me and hurt me enough as it is. I have been outright disrespected, treated like a dog, and thrown out. Please leave me alone to forget this nightmare, to heal, and to move on. That angered him, he kept pushing me more. He refused to let go, I exploded. Not in anger, or in vile language but in my brutal criticism and truth of the matter. I spared no filters, I got down to the core of it. He was not respecting me when I asked him not to push, time and time again. He tried to play victim for a while and declared a friendship. However, after how he showed me his true colours, I no longer wanted a friendship. I wanted to be left alone, I wanted to move on, I wanted to heal from the pain.
Then it became war, on his part.
He shouted at me through messages. He hurled more hateful words at me, said he never wanted to see or talk to me again. No more friendship, nothing at all. Will leave my belongings outside his home, and I could pick them up. He would cancel and block me on any mutual connection platforms we are on. He declared my words as all bullturd, when quite frankly it was the truth. He knows it, as well. I was meant to be able to pick up my last few belongings the following day. However, he told me he would block me till four days later, a Thursday. Before I could say anything, I was cut out. He said we will talk then. I did not like having to drag this out. When things finish, I prefer to tear it off like a bandaid.
He unblocked me on half of the platforms, immediately the next day. However, I did not write or reach out. I truly wanted to be alone, and mull over my own wounds. Then most recently, he wrote me, before the four days was over, on a Wednesday. To not talk but be exceedingly rude, to give me an option to pick it up immediately or to wait till Saturday. Enough games, I did not deserve this at all. I had done nothing wrong all along, I did not deserve such hate, spitefulness, vindictiveness, or vengeful ways. I told him I will pick it up the next day, on Thursday, as previously said. I did not wish to prolong it. He kept making my life difficult saying that was not possible. Which meant, he already found my replacement, or at least a woman will be at his place on Thursday and Friday. I told him regardless, I will be arriving. He told me he will simply leave it out, if anything happens to it that will be my fault. I told him, tell me the time, when you will put it out, I will be there. He would not let me arrive the moment he took it out. I told him, enough, you have your wishes so do I, respect my choices. I wish to ensure my belongings are safe, I will pick them up the minute you put them out. I will not talk to you, or whoever you are with at your home.
He blocked me for a few days, to find a woman, to shove in my face that he did not miss me ?
He prolonged things to prove that point to me ?
He was the one to finish what we had, was that not enough ?
Why would he not let me move on, and pick up the rest of my belongings, immediately the day after (after all, I had made that request, I just wanted to move on) ?
Are Water Bearers usually this vengeful and callous ?
Posted by ASCoppVenus
This is tough.
Because you and him are having issues, then seeing you dancing with men... it just wasnt the right timing for you to be seen in that situation. Coz if he had doubts beforehand about your rs, this gives him the reason to walk out as a confirmation of why he shouldnt stick with it.
Its hard to win the trust of an aqua. Even if you didnt do anything wrong, they are as fixed as the concrete road we walk on. So.... i dunno... i guess prepare for the worse even if you wanna hope for the best.
Whenever there is an issue with an aqua man, the best thing to do is to give space but never to be caught with the opposite gender no matter what. Even if its just friendly coz the man might think differently. And im saying this because i tried different approaches with different aqua men that i dated in the past. He needs to see your independence but not through other people and not especially with the opposite gender. Even if it wasnt your intention or even if there is nothing to it.....
The rest of the story is as below, though do let me read your kind response ASCoppVenus. 🙂
Hope you're okay Lady?
Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon.....aggressively over sensitive, if you want the perfect example, watch CBB on U.K. tv, guy called Hardeep, impossible personality
I wouldn't even try to analyse this bloke, he sounds like a headfuck
Look after yourself ❤️
Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon.....aggressively over sensitive, if you want the perfect example, watch CBB on U.K. tv, guy called Hardeep, impossible personality
I wouldn't even try to analyse this bloke, he sounds like a headfuck
Look after yourself ❤️
Posted by MyStarsShine
Hope you're okay Lady?
Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon.....aggressively over sensitive, if you want the perfect example, watch CBB on U.K. tv, guy called Hardeep, impossible personality
I wouldn't even try to analyse this bloke, he sounds like a headfuck
Look after yourself ❤️
stars believe me, I want to move on. Though I will admit, I am in a state of sudden shock. That I will not deny. It was a big emotional upheaval, but I will adapt just fine and now waking up to the reality of his true colours. There will be no second chances for him, even should he come back to me in the future. However, he would not leave me alone in my pain, to heal.
I have asked to be left alone, to finish this off as soon as possible but he is making the process of collecting the last of my belongings, a downright headache. His vindictiveness is reopening the wounds.
Posted by MyStarsShine
Hope you're okay Lady?
Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon.....aggressively over sensitive, if you want the perfect example, watch CBB on U.K. tv, guy called Hardeep, impossible personality
I wouldn't even try to analyse this bloke, he sounds like a headfuck
Look after yourself ❤️
Been gently taking care of myself, crying should it come but not wallowing.
Reaching out to my circle of friends, some have reached out to me sensing I was a bit off. They have been kind enough to open their homes etc. to me, telling me I am welcome to cook a meal with them or what not for the weeks to come. Strangely enough, many of them are fellow Stinger women.
Thankfully, I have such genuine care around me to fall back on. A network to help me recuperate because I did not deserve this treatment by far. You are kind enough to reinforce those choices of mine as well. I will take care of myself during this time. Much love to you and your words, stars. ❤️
Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MyStarsShine
Hope you're okay Lady?
Aqua Sun, Pisces Moon.....aggressively over sensitive, if you want the perfect example, watch CBB on U.K. tv, guy called Hardeep, impossible personality
I wouldn't even try to analyse this bloke, he sounds like a headfuck
Look after yourself ❤️
Been gently taking care of myself, crying should it come but not wallowing.
Reaching out to my circle of friends, some have reached out to me sensing I was a bit off. They have been kind enough to open their homes etc. to me, telling me I am welcome to cook a meal with them or what not for the weeks to come. Strangely enough, many of them are fellow Stinger women.
Thankfully, I have such genuine care around me to fall back on. A network to help me recuperate because I did not deserve this treatment by far. You are kind enough to reinforce those choices of mine as well. I will take care of myself during this time. Much love to you and your words, stars. ❤️click to expand
(((Lady))) ❤️
Remember, he's just a bloke ... don't let them do this to you, I used to until I decided not to
The freedom is phenomenal, believe me
🌟💛🌟
Posted by ASCoppVenus
This is tough.
Because you and him are having issues, then seeing you dancing with men... it just wasnt the right timing for you to be seen in that situation. Coz if he had doubts beforehand about your rs, this gives him the reason to walk out as a confirmation of why he shouldnt stick with it.
Its hard to win the trust of an aqua. Even if you didnt do anything wrong, they are as fixed as the concrete road we walk on. So.... i dunno... i guess prepare for the worse even if you wanna hope for the best.
Whenever there is an issue with an aqua man, the best thing to do is to give space but never to be caught with the opposite gender no matter what. Even if its just friendly coz the man might think differently. And im saying this because i tried different approaches with different aqua men that i dated in the past. He needs to see your independence but not through other people and not especially with the opposite gender. Even if it wasnt your intention or even if there is nothing to it.....
There was no way I could avoid the opposite gender, if I were to assert my independence it would be to enjoy the company of both genders, and to have friends of both genders. I do not have my independence by being a loner. I will not be controlled over how I socialise with people. I have always respected boundaries and have been loyal.
However, this is beyond boundaries, this would be an attempt to control me. A Stinger woman will not be controlled, I have never stopped him from how he interacts with the opposite gender as long as he respects me. That is what trust is, that is what self confidence is about, that you will not be insecure when you see the one you care about around others. That is immaturity on his part. I am a social creature, as he knows, an ambivert. He is a Water Bearer, he knows people all over the place. He collects people. I always respected that, if he could not respect and trust me. Why be with a woman like me. I will not change and reduce myself for a man. I expect him to be secure enough to communicate any discomfort with me so we could compromise but this is not acceptable.
Posted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
I still swear not designed to be in one to one rships, especially not long term living together arrangement
No way Jose
Posted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
What a bastard. I never met a Water Bearer gone insane before.
Every other Water Bearer I had known or had anything with in the past. Though we may have argued, it was always a somewhat amicable ending. A certain few, we sometimes still speak with each other, from time to time. Those Water Bearers also acknowledged what went wrong, or in the least apologised.
Never have I encountered this subset of Water Bearer men before. 😱
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenus
This is tough.
Because you and him are having issues, then seeing you dancing with men... it just wasnt the right timing for you to be seen in that situation. Coz if he had doubts beforehand about your rs, this gives him the reason to walk out as a confirmation of why he shouldnt stick with it.
Its hard to win the trust of an aqua. Even if you didnt do anything wrong, they are as fixed as the concrete road we walk on. So.... i dunno... i guess prepare for the worse even if you wanna hope for the best.
Whenever there is an issue with an aqua man, the best thing to do is to give space but never to be caught with the opposite gender no matter what. Even if its just friendly coz the man might think differently. And im saying this because i tried different approaches with different aqua men that i dated in the past. He needs to see your independence but not through other people and not especially with the opposite gender. Even if it wasnt your intention or even if there is nothing to it.....
There was no way I could avoid the opposite gender, if I were to assert my independence it would be to enjoy the company of both genders, and to have friends of both genders. I do not have my independence by being a loner. I will not be controlled over how I socialise with people. I have always respected boundaries and have been loyal.
However, this is beyond boundaries, this would be an attempt to control me. A Stinger woman will not be controlled, I have never stopped him from how he interacts with the opposite gender as long as he respects me. That is what trust is, that is what self confidence is about, that you will not be insecure when you see the one you care about around others. That is immaturity on his part. I am a social creature, as he knows, an ambivert. He is a Water Bearer, he knows people all over the place. He collects people. I always respected that, if he could not respect and trust me. Why be with a woman like me. I will not change and reduce myself for a man. I expect him to be secure enough to communicate any discomfort with me so we could compromise but this is not acceptable.
Unfortunately, its one rule for you and another with an aqua. Double standards. I am not bashing them because you know im with one and i adore this sign. But its also the truth about them. 😢click to expand
This is not about rules, but maturity, communication, trust, and respect.
Yes, double standards. I am not bashing all Water Bearer men at all because I do enjoy them for what they are. I have never encountered such an experience with all the other ones I had once had something with. Therefore, this is entirely new to me. This is shocking to me, such madness.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
I still swear not designed to be in one to one rships, especially not long term living together arrangement
No way Jose
Remember the ex i posted about in my recent thread? Thats the one who acts like OP’s ex. Every move is farking familiar. OP dodged a bullet with this one. Especially how he acted kicking her out and telling her she can pick up her stuff outside the house.. that is downright rude. No man should ever do that. I experienced that kind of shit and stress and it caused me to have problems iwth my ovaries. Part of me blames him for that. Even if it wasnt physical abuse, it was mental and emotional. I would not advise any woman, no mayter how strong, to take the path i did.click to expand
I am so very sorry you ever went through such an experience as well. It is not fair, nor right. It feels as if someone you once loved, turned into this monster. When you are trying to heal your wounds, they would do anything to tear it open again. Shoving the knife of pain, further in, as many times they could. What could ever cause a man to want to be this vengeful, even as a Stinger woman (supposedly known to be vengeful), and I have never done this before.
However, I am strong, he will never be able to ever experience my love, care, and kindness ever again. You get one chance, and one chance only in certain things. I have warned him before, I never walk back to men who I have moved on from, who had treated me unfairly or unkindly. I only move forward, never backwards. Never, have I taken anyone back.
I was told to go find a man, or ask until someone would take me home, then kicked out in the early hours of morning, and now to only be allowed to pick up my belongings outside the home. Treated like less than a dog. 😱
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
I still swear not designed to be in one to one rships, especially not long term living together arrangement
No way Jose
Remember the ex i posted about in my recent thread? Thats the one who acts like OP’s ex. Every move is farking familiar. OP dodged a bullet with this one. Especially how he acted kicking her out and telling her she can pick up her stuff outside the house.. that is downright rude. No man should ever do that. I experienced that kind of shit and stress and it caused me to have problems iwth my ovaries. Part of me blames him for that. Even if it wasnt physical abuse, it was mental and emotional. I would not advise any woman, no mayter how strong, to take the path i did.click to expand
Stay away from those nutters, miss 😐
Posted by ASCoppVenus
You got. Really angry Aqua right there. And a rude one. I guess after reading everything, i feel like its his revenge from what he assumed you did. I would not advise you to ever take him back because it will be a cycle. And its not that he is not letting you move on. He is letting you move on— in his own terms. So you gotta be careful about that. Maybe he will reach out to you one day and be nice. Only to turn around and say youre the worst he has ever dated. He might say he misses you only to say its impossible to forgive you for hurting him. And it might go on for months or years. And if you respond he will continue. If you dont then he will eventually stop.
And aquas... this is truth about your side unfortunately. Because I have experienced it myself. My mistake was to take the man back after everything he did. Aqua men can be rudeAF once they feel like theyve been hurt. They are vengeful and will make sure you get it because its the only way they can satisfy themselves and feel at peace. They feel entitled to be rude just because they think you are. The calm, cold and aloof men do hide their own monsters.
You said this was his revenge, and that he would let me move on ... but on his own terms.
Firstly, what do you mean by that, his own terms ? and secondly, does this mean the Water Bearer never loved you ?
I have had Water Bearer men, chase me for years afterwards to still want something with me. However, none of them ever treated me badly or were rude, nor played the games you speak of. Therefore this is entirely new to me. Though, I am expecting what you are warning me of, regarding this last Water Bearer. Considering his inconsistent behaviour, it would seem like him to do so, but I will heed your warning.
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
I still swear not designed to be in one to one rships, especially not long term living together arrangement
No way Jose
Remember the ex i posted about in my recent thread? Thats the one who acts like OP’s ex. Every move is farking familiar. OP dodged a bullet with this one. Especially how he acted kicking her out and telling her she can pick up her stuff outside the house.. that is downright rude. No man should ever do that. I experienced that kind of shit and stress and it caused me to have problems iwth my ovaries. Part of me blames him for that. Even if it wasnt physical abuse, it was mental and emotional. I would not advise any woman, no matter how strong, to take the path i did.
Stay away from those nutters, miss 😐
I learned my lesson. I wouldnt say he was 100% bad. He was good and bad. He was good at making me feel secured and unsafe at the same time. He was older and can manipulate me. I was alone in Japan without my family. I cannot speak Japanese at the time. He was all I had thats close to family. So I endured it for 4 years until i told myself— its enough. Im leaving and coming home to my real family. I dont think any pain is greater than being treated badly by someone you actually love.click to expand
I am glad you are with a much better Water Bearer as it is. That you did not turn bitter, allowing time, opportunities to come your way, and now found love with a better example of this sign.
Though for your past experiences, though I am the one in pain here. It still makes me want to reach out and hug you to let you know I understand. As a woman, to another woman, with a heart, we at least came out stronger. Scars are beautiful, it makes our life experiences all the more colourful. Without contrasts of the bad, we will never be able to see or appreciate the good. Although no woman should ever have to experience such things, especially when she had done no wrong.
(((hugs)))
All you need to do is look at the ruler.....Uranus.....go read about it, brilliant at times, unstable, unpredictable and eccentric and then ask yourself, do you want to live with that ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenus
You got. Really angry Aqua right there. And a rude one. I guess after reading everything, i feel like its his revenge from what he assumed you did. I would not advise you to ever take him back because it will be a cycle. And its not that he is not letting you move on. He is letting you move on— in his own terms. So you gotta be careful about that. Maybe he will reach out to you one day and be nice. Only to turn around and say youre the worst he has ever dated. He might say he misses you only to say its impossible to forgive you for hurting him. And it might go on for months or years. And if you respond he will continue. If you dont then he will eventually stop.
And aquas... this is truth about your side unfortunately. Because I have experienced it myself. My mistake was to take the man back after everything he did. Aqua men can be rudeAF once they feel like theyve been hurt. They are vengeful and will make sure you get it because its the only way they can satisfy themselves and feel at peace. They feel entitled to be rude just because they think you are. The calm, cold and aloof men do hide their own monsters.
You said this was his revenge, and that he would let me move on ... but on his own terms.
Firstly, what do you mean by that ? and secondly, does this mean the Water Bearer never loved you ?
I have had Water Bearer men, chase me for years after wards to still want something with me. However, none of them ever treated me badly or were rude, nor play the games you speak of. Therefore this is entirely new to me. Though, I am expecting what you are warning me of. Considering his inconsistent behaviour, it would seem like him to do so but I will heed your warning.
What I meant by that is he will do mind games with you. He will try to string you along only to keep dropping you everytime you feel you’re getting close. He will make you jealous and make you feel missed. He will mess with your head over and over in ways you have never imagined. Even going to lengths of affecting your job (yep. Mine was paranoid about his job too because hes scared i would spill his plans to other people but before i can do that, he did it to me. It went very bad. Cant say the deets but he went through lengths to ruin me so I cannot be independent).
It doesnt mean he never loved you. He probably did. Otherwise he would not feel deep anger or deep insecurity or deep pain that things ended. If he never really cared, he will just ignore. After all they are used to that. Ignoring people and being aloof. So he mustve felt something for you. But he was not able to control things to go the way he wanted, hence, the anger he feels.
I feel i like scorpio more in this kind of situation because with scorps, you know exactly what youre getting. But with Aquas, and sometimes with Geminis, its hard to know how deep their anger can get.click to expand
That is what I fear, he knows a lot about me as I do him.
He is on a paranoid spree as it is, combined with vindictiveness and vengeful anger.
It worries me.
He did say sometime during the argument, believe me if I want to ruin your career I could. He already knows my past, I am a woman that have already survived a terrible past. I do not deserve to have all that I have fought hard for, built up, and created for myself being destroyed. I never obliterated his world.
All I want, is to be left alone. I for once in my life, do not want a man, do not want love.
Only want my work, my friends, and my own company.
He will not be able to mess with my head, when a Stinger ices someone out. We will do so, winter is here. No winter will be any colder, entirely on ignore. Granted, if he were an amicable human being. I would treat him in a polite manner but he will never be able to be close to me, ever again. He broke the trust, I will never believe him again. I saw his true colours. Reasonable creatures, Stingers could be. I do still love him, but I love my own dignity and self respect more. I do not wish him harm, but only happiness but at a distance. All I pray and hope, is that he will somehow be reasonable enough to leave me alone, let me be, to move on.
Why would they not leave you be, even when you leave them alone, and gave back their freedom or whatever it is that they had wanted as soon as possible ?
At the time, did you leave your ex Water Bearer and requested to be left alone as well ?
What do you mean he could not control things to go the way he had wanted, he ended it on his terms and threw me out, is that not him having his way ?
Posted by Gobby
As I said before, welcome to WWIII...
A one sided WWIII, that is. 😆
However @Gobby, you are correct.
Posted by JanMayMarryPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
I still swear not designed to be in one to one rships, especially not long term living together arrangement
No way Jose
Remember the ex i posted about in my recent thread? Thats the one who acts like OP’s ex. Every move is farking familiar. OP dodged a bullet with this one. Especially how he acted kicking her out and telling her she can pick up her stuff outside the house.. that is downright rude. No man should ever do that. I experienced that kind of shit and stress and it caused me to have problems iwth my ovaries. Part of me blames him for that. Even if it wasnt physical abuse, it was mental and emotional. I would not advise any woman, no mayter how strong, to take the path i did.
I am so very sorry you ever went through such an experience as well. It is not fair, nor right. It feels as if someone you once loved, turned into this monster. When you are trying to heal your wounds, they would do anything to tear it open again. Shoving the knife of pain, further in, as many times they could. What could ever cause a man to want to be this vengeful, even as a Stinger woman (supposedly known to be vengeful), and I have never done this before.
However, I am strong, he will never be able to ever experience my love, care, and kindness ever again. You get one chance, and one chance only in certain things. I have warned him before, I never walk back to men who I have moved on from, who had treated me unfairly or unkindly. I only move forward, never backwards. Never, have I taken anyone back.
I was told to go find a man, or ask until someone would take me home, then kicked out in the early hours of morning, and now to only be allowed to pick up my belongings outside the home. Treated like less than a dog. 😱
And you start thinking “are they really humanitarians? Because they can even be kind after a breakup” coz i thought of the same. I respect everyone that i had a relationship with. No matter how bad it ended. They wont hear me get nasty with them unless really really provoked. They regret it afterwards. Like you, i never go back to any of my exes. I know how to walk away and move forward. And so by the time my aqua regretted it and thought he can say sorry and come back in my life after i made a final decision, hes too late. I was happy being single.
Mind you, i did lots for that man. God knows how much I endured for him. I was inlove. I was stupid. I did experience what you experienced like getting kicked out early hours of the morning. At the time, i had nowhere to go so I slept in the convenience store until I can find a friend who can take me in. We were living together at the time and i already gave up my apartment thinking it was a stable rs. It was a mistake. So I am glad you still got your home. If not, you wouldnt have a choice but to beg him to take you back like i did.
That is something but still alright, comparing to mine, who actually kicked me out of our apartment with 3 young kids, for shit he done and got caught by me.
That's the dark side of Aqua men and this is why, even when I am currently with one, I will never be on their side all of the times because if it's wrong, it means wrong.
Not all Aquas are great men. Like Geminis, the bad ones does exist and if people tellin' me Aqua men are loyal...just LOL! I have seen enough Aqua men who cheat their partners.
It is what it is.click to expand
Oh dear, that was in no way right. I am truly deeply sorry you ever had to go through that. In fact, that angers me that a man would do that to you, especially when he was clearly in the wrong. To do that, to children, he must have been out of his mind. No adult, with a functioning mind should ever do that. The children are innocent.
Now, that has me fuming. How could he ? 😱
(((hugs)))
@JanMayMarry, I am more than happy to hear you are wiser now, and all the stronger.
Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Sorry this has happened. It’s a crazy time for us Aqua.
No excuses though.
Fret not @Waterbearerwearer, for all the bad experiences I have had with Water Bearers I also have had some of the most genuine and beautiful experiences with your kind. I do not hold a few bad apples, against the entire sign. 🙂
Although, a crazy time for you lot. Why is that ?
Posted by MyStarsShine
All you need to do is look at the ruler.....Uranus.....go read about it, brilliant at times, unstable, unpredictable and eccentric and then ask yourself, do you want to live with that ?
All those traits are fair and well. If there is open communication, maturity, trust, love, care, kindness, and respect. Then even those negative traits could be managed. However, without the things I just mentioned. It would be nothing short of toxic. The line between healthy and toxicity, is often simply two people being able to have those traits between them. As two people, coming together, will always have to manage negative traits, imperfections, and flaws.
At this moment though, for once in my life. I do not want to be attached to any man in any remote manner, not even a fleeting infatuation, or for casual fun. Never have I truly only wanted to be alone, in this manner. I do not want to date, I do not want to entertain any man, I do not want any of it. Not because I am bitter, or because of the pain. I simply want a break from all of it. To bask in my own glory, to focus on my own work, to be around genuine friends, and to be who I am, enjoying my own company, to love me. 🙂
Posted by Antiochus
As much as I usually advocate understanding and patience with the broken and damaged I have to say it's good that you plan to stay away from him.
Emotional upheavals can be understandable but the attempted abuse of power should be a no-go in any relationship or with any sign.
I have seen this kind of Aqua behaviour quite often because I grew up with it. They surely can change but it takes a lot of energy and time to get there and no sane human being would stay if they can have a more peaceful life.
@Antiochus, I loved him, I truly did and I would have given him the world had he not treated me this way. Through thick or thin, I would have fought for him, weathering the storms. A Stinger woman, I am, my love goes true and deep. However, he took it too far.
Again, I am sorry you have seen this kind of behaviour whilst growing up. No, this is not pity but I truly am sorry because noone deserves this kind of disrespect or treatment. It is in no way right or fair. I know he could change, but it will require a lot of time and work, most of all he must be self aware. That, in which I believe he is not, and still a long way from. It is evident, as I could see now. He was not yet ready to accept my love, much less be ready for a relationship in a healthy manner. That is not my issue, I am a woman more than ready for it but now even though ready, I wish to be alone. I want peace, friends, work, and my own company.
If I may ask, where and how did you see such behaviour, did it ever change, and what damage did it cause to those around them ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenus
You got. Really angry Aqua right there. And a rude one. I guess after reading everything, i feel like its his revenge from what he assumed you did. I would not advise you to ever take him back because it will be a cycle. And its not that he is not letting you move on. He is letting you move on— in his own terms. So you gotta be careful about that. Maybe he will reach out to you one day and be nice. Only to turn around and say youre the worst he has ever dated. He might say he misses you only to say its impossible to forgive you for hurting him. And it might go on for months or years. And if you respond he will continue. If you dont then he will eventually stop.
And aquas... this is truth about your side unfortunately. Because I have experienced it myself. My mistake was to take the man back after everything he did. Aqua men can be rudeAF once they feel like theyve been hurt. They are vengeful and will make sure you get it because its the only way they can satisfy themselves and feel at peace. They feel entitled to be rude just because they think you are. The calm, cold and aloof men do hide their own monsters.
You said this was his revenge, and that he would let me move on ... but on his own terms.
Firstly, what do you mean by that ? and secondly, does this mean the Water Bearer never loved you ?
I have had Water Bearer men, chase me for years after wards to still want something with me. However, none of them ever treated me badly or were rude, nor play the games you speak of. Therefore this is entirely new to me. Though, I am expecting what you are warning me of. Considering his inconsistent behaviour, it would seem like him to do so but I will heed your warning.
What I meant by that is he will do mind games with you. He will try to string you along only to keep dropping you everytime you feel you’re getting close. He will make you jealous and make you feel missed. He will mess with your head over and over in ways you have never imagined. Even going to lengths of affecting your job (yep. Mine was paranoid about his job too because hes scared i would spill his plans to other people but before i can do that, he did it to me. It went very bad. Cant say the deets but he went through lengths to ruin me so I cannot be independent).
It doesnt mean he never loved you. He probably did. Otherwise he would not feel deep anger or deep insecurity or deep pain that things ended. If he never really cared, he will just ignore. After all they are used to that. Ignoring people and being aloof. So he mustve felt something for you. But he was not able to control things to go the way he wanted, hence, the anger he feels.
I feel i like scorpio more in this kind of situation because with scorps, you know exactly what youre getting. But with Aquas, and sometimes with Geminis, its hard to know how deep their anger can get.
That is what I fear, he knows a lot about me as I do him.
He is on a paranoid spree as it is, combined with vindictiveness and vengeful anger.
It worries me.
He did say sometime during the argument, believe me if I want to ruin your career I could. He already knows my past, I am a woman that have already survived a terrible past. I do not deserve to have all that I have fought hard for, built up, and created for myself being destroyed. I never obliterated his world.
All I want, is to be left alone. I for once in my life, do not want a man, do not want love.
Only want my work, my friends, and my own company.
He will not be able to mess with my head, when a Stinger ices someone out. We will do so, winter is here. No winter will be any colder, entirely on ignore. Granted, if he were an amicable human being. I would treat him in a polite manner but he will never be able to be close to me, ever again. He broke the trust, I will never believe him again. I saw his true colours. Reasonable creatures, Stingers could be. I do still love him, but I love my own dignity and self respect more. I do not wish him harm, but only happiness but at a distance. All I pray and hope, is that he will somehow be reasonable enough to leave me alone, let me be, to move on.
Why would they not leave you be, even when you leave them alone, and gave back their freedom or whatever it is that they had wanted as soon as possible ?
At the time, did you leave your ex Water Bearer and requested to be left alone as well ?
What do you mean he could not control things to go the way he had wanted, he ended it on his terms and threw me out, is that not him having his way ?
Its because they need to be in control. So giving them their freedom feels like losing. You didnt put up a fight and they wanna fight and let out their anger.
When i left my ex, yes. I did ask him to leave me alone. I blocked him on the messaging app but he would email me. He would threaten me about things. He would call me when hes drunk and tell me hes so sick and has no one to help him. He sometimes would play on my kindness because he knew I cannot let anyone suffer if i can do something about it. I always try to help if and when I can, in my own way. In the end, i decided to leave the country because if i didnt, he would not leave me alone. He will ruin my life either intentionally or unintentionally. I needed to be free from him. He even held some documents of mine, hostage. Which at first, I was worried about but i ended up calling the government office about it to let them know of the situation and issue me new copies sent to my parents address. At the time, i tried to be nice and very discreet with booking my ticket, with dating other men, with planning my exit. He didnt know until a week before my flight and he started crying on skype telling me he cannot believe i will leave the country. I still got photos of him crying. Lol
Even if your aqua ended things, control is not just about him getting his way. I believe he was expecting a reaction from you to justify his rudeness. If you fight back, he will be even more rude and can tell himself you deserved it. But because you did not do that, he still feels like he lost. What youre doing is the best thing. Do not engage even if he tries to trigger you. He can get angry but at least you know youre not intentionally doing anything and he will realize it when his head is clear.click to expand
Oh bloody hell, I needed a good laugh and that sentence sent me into a fit of laughter. The mere image of it in my mind, is hilarious. 😆
Ah, but he did fight. He did express a lot of anger at me, he was enraged. However no, I gave him exactly what he wanted. I never fight someone for what they want, I always respect it. If ultimately that is what makes him happy, he will have it. He told me he is not happy. Then I said I cannot make you happy, I could only give you what you requested. If that is not enough, then you must sort yourself out. I asked him multiple times, do you want me to stay, to fight for our love, etc. etc. He said - No. So, if not, and he will not make me his everything. Then I will make him my nothing, and go. He was given the choice, his pride and ego said - No. Therefore, he will have to live with his decision.
The concept of winning baffles me, either way he would have lost, no ?
I think he probably, expected me to get exceedingly rude, or hurl abuse at him. He might have expected me to have gone physical or possibly throw a fit and cause damage to his home. No, I merely told him to stop pushing, to let me go, so I could forget him. He hates that word, to 'forget' him.
So him making my life difficult now, is him still wrestling for control ?
He will never get it, I will not give him a reaction. Though there are still emotions of anger, sadness, confusion, pain etc. within me. It is done, and when Stingers are done, that is it. I do not hate him now, merely numb, which will slowly turn to indifference. I still love him, the fond memories I will keep, but I will never forget the bad ones either. It will keep me moving forward, and I remain optimistic, hopeful. When I am done being alone, I am certain I will meet another man again, perhaps even another Water Bearer. 🙂
Posted by WaterbearerwearerPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by Waterbearerwearer
Sorry this has happened. It’s a crazy time for us Aqua.
No excuses though.
Fret not @Waterbearerwearer, for all the bad experiences I have had with Water Bearers I also have had some of the most genuine and beautiful experiences with your kind. I do not hold a few bad apples, against the entire sign. 🙂
Although, a crazy time for you lot. Why is that ?
We have some heavy transits creating havoc atm..
We just did mars rx in Aqua for like 7 weeks in a fixed orb.
Longest fixed orb in a very long time
Mars only going rx every 2 years so it’s very rare to have Aqua so held down which we were
So from now till October we are basically shooting from the hip and throwing caution to the wind.
Also some heavy Pluto rx in Capricorn but verging on Aqua territory. It’s at almost the precipice of Aqua so it’s very strong.
Extremely strong. So if your Aqua has strong Cap chances are he’s in a real self destructive mode.
He’s getting sloppy.
click to expand
Ah, even there. There is no excuse for his behaviour, he has a will, a will to make choices. Though thank you for the explanation, astrologically it does help me make more sense of what I had experienced, his reactions, the upheaval within the last week.
Saturn will be direct in Goat soon enough, hopefully he will be able to focus on his work and not on his revenge on me. Venus will reenter Stinger, also Mars will direct back into Water Bearer. Pluto will direct back into Goat by the end of the month.
A sloppy Water Bearer, is a frightful scene to witness. That I will say.
Do Water Bearers, ever have that moment, where they wake up and realise, what did I just do (witnessing the sloppy behaviour they had engaged in) ?
[I ask this only because as Stingers, if when we are immature or not yet developed enough, we do have those moments.]
How are you faring yourself ?
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenus
You got. Really angry Aqua right there. And a rude one. I guess after reading everything, i feel like its his revenge from what he assumed you did. I would not advise you to ever take him back because it will be a cycle. And its not that he is not letting you move on. He is letting you move on— in his own terms. So you gotta be careful about that. Maybe he will reach out to you one day and be nice. Only to turn around and say youre the worst he has ever dated. He might say he misses you only to say its impossible to forgive you for hurting him. And it might go on for months or years. And if you respond he will continue. If you dont then he will eventually stop.
And aquas... this is truth about your side unfortunately. Because I have experienced it myself. My mistake was to take the man back after everything he did. Aqua men can be rudeAF once they feel like theyve been hurt. They are vengeful and will make sure you get it because its the only way they can satisfy themselves and feel at peace. They feel entitled to be rude just because they think you are. The calm, cold and aloof men do hide their own monsters.
You said this was his revenge, and that he would let me move on ... but on his own terms.
Firstly, what do you mean by that ? and secondly, does this mean the Water Bearer never loved you ?
I have had Water Bearer men, chase me for years after wards to still want something with me. However, none of them ever treated me badly or were rude, nor play the games you speak of. Therefore this is entirely new to me. Though, I am expecting what you are warning me of. Considering his inconsistent behaviour, it would seem like him to do so but I will heed your warning.
What I meant by that is he will do mind games with you. He will try to string you along only to keep dropping you everytime you feel you’re getting close. He will make you jealous and make you feel missed. He will mess with your head over and over in ways you have never imagined. Even going to lengths of affecting your job (yep. Mine was paranoid about his job too because hes scared i would spill his plans to other people but before i can do that, he did it to me. It went very bad. Cant say the deets but he went through lengths to ruin me so I cannot be independent).
It doesnt mean he never loved you. He probably did. Otherwise he would not feel deep anger or deep insecurity or deep pain that things ended. If he never really cared, he will just ignore. After all they are used to that. Ignoring people and being aloof. So he mustve felt something for you. But he was not able to control things to go the way he wanted, hence, the anger he feels.
I feel i like scorpio more in this kind of situation because with scorps, you know exactly what youre getting. But with Aquas, and sometimes with Geminis, its hard to know how deep their anger can get.
That is what I fear, he knows a lot about me as I do him.
He is on a paranoid spree as it is, combined with vindictiveness and vengeful anger.
It worries me.
He did say sometime during the argument, believe me if I want to ruin your career I could. He already knows my past, I am a woman that have already survived a terrible past. I do not deserve to have all that I have fought hard for, built up, and created for myself being destroyed. I never obliterated his world.
All I want, is to be left alone. I for once in my life, do not want a man, do not want love.
Only want my work, my friends, and my own company.
He will not be able to mess with my head, when a Stinger ices someone out. We will do so, winter is here. No winter will be any colder, entirely on ignore. Granted, if he were an amicable human being. I would treat him in a polite manner but he will never be able to be close to me, ever again. He broke the trust, I will never believe him again. I saw his true colours. Reasonable creatures, Stingers could be. I do still love him, but I love my own dignity and self respect more. I do not wish him harm, but only happiness but at a distance. All I pray and hope, is that he will somehow be reasonable enough to leave me alone, let me be, to move on.
Why would they not leave you be, even when you leave them alone, and gave back their freedom or whatever it is that they had wanted as soon as possible ?
At the time, did you leave your ex Water Bearer and requested to be left alone as well ?
What do you mean he could not control things to go the way he had wanted, he ended it on his terms and threw me out, is that not him having his way ?
Its because they need to be in control. So giving them their freedom feels like losing. You didnt put up a fight and they wanna fight and let out their anger.
When i left my ex, yes. I did ask him to leave me alone. I blocked him on the messaging app but he would email me. He would threaten me about things. He would call me when hes drunk and tell me hes so sick and has no one to help him. He sometimes would play on my kindness because he knew I cannot let anyone suffer if i can do something about it. I always try to help if and when I can, in my own way. In the end, i decided to leave the country because if i didnt, he would not leave me alone. He will ruin my life either intentionally or unintentionally. I needed to be free from him. He even held some documents of mine, hostage. Which at first, I was worried about but i ended up calling the government office about it to let them know of the situation and issue me new copies sent to my parents address. At the time, i tried to be nice and very discreet with booking my ticket, with dating other men, with planning my exit. He didnt know until a week before my flight and he started crying on skype telling me he cannot believe i will leave the country. I still got photos of him crying. Lol
Even if your aqua ended things, control is not just about him getting his way. I believe he was expecting a reaction from you to justify his rudeness. If you fight back, he will be even more rude and can tell himself you deserved it. But because you did not do that, he still feels like he lost. What youre doing is the best thing. Do not engage even if he tries to trigger you. He can get angry but at least you know youre not intentionally doing anything and he will realize it when his head is clear.
Oh bloody hell, I needed a good laugh and that sentence sent me into a fit of laughter. The mere image of it in my mind, is hilarious. 😆
He has lost big time. You did not beg him to stay. He asked for it, you gave it. Deep down, he is sulking like a child 😂 maybe he wont do the crying on skype thing like my ex did but, he definitely feel the loss and its why he is angry.
You are amazing for keeping it together despite his attitude towards you. You are showing him what maturity looks like. And definitely, hating him wont do you good. I dont hate my ex either although like you, i remember everything. But later on, you will realize it was a blessing in disguise. Its how I feel now. Imagine, I even wanted to marry my ex? Have kids with him? Hahaha life is pretty surprising with experiences like this thrown at us to make us stronger.
You will meet a better Waterbearer. And if not, all signs are out there for the taking. There are plenty of good men in the world. So I always say, never put up with shit from one guy xclick to expand
What was there left to beg ?
I do not participate in those head games, all I ever asked of him was open honesty. There is no point in asking for what you want, if that is not what you truly want. Be ready to live with the consequences of making rash decisions. Perhaps, after this, he will become a bit more mature, and realise, some things cannot be taken back, once done. Hopefully, he will learn from this, as a lesson, to think before making a choice. He lost me, of his own accord, not because I walked. He bloody hell screwed it up himself.
Except now, a small part of me hope he does cry, I would want some of such photographs as well. It would give me a good laugh, especially now, if he were to go so low for such ploys.
No, I do not hate him. I just hope one day he will realise what he had done, learn from this lesson. If ever again, he experiences love from another woman, as the love that I had given him. That he will not take it for granted, and will cherish it, never letting it go. I do see it as a blessing in disguise, even though deeply hurt. Imagine, had I moved to another city, or another country with him. To only witness his true colours, that would have been horrific. It is better to know now, how much work he still needs to do on himself. I do hope, he will be self aware enough soon to know he needs help, in overcoming certain things. Either way, I wish him no harm.
There are good men, I believe in it, and possibly another lovely loyal Water Bearer awaits me. A part of me is excited about that prospect, but now I need alone time. That I am certain of. 🙂
Nonetheless, your messages have been so kind, to even listen to me talk as well, and help me process some of my emotions. I truly appreciate it @ASCoppVenus. x
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Posted by ASCoppVenusPosted by WaterbearerwearerPosted by ASCoppVenusPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by ASCoppVenus
I still have half of my clothes in my ex’ home. He never gave them back. One time he was drunk he said he wrapped his pillow with my clothes so he can still smell my scent but then he texts me about the new woman he is sleeping with during the same evening. So... there. Aqua men who are messed up.
What a bastard. I never met a Water Bearer gone insane before.
Every other Water Bearer I had known or had anything with in the past. Though we may have argued, it was always a somewhat amicable ending. A certain few, we sometimes still speak with each other, from time to time. Those Water Bearers also acknowledged what went wrong, or in the least apologised.
Never have I encountered this subset of Water Bearer men before. 😱
Definitely not all of them are like that. After sometime, you can be friends with some but not everyone of them its for sure. My ex has leo moon. In his 40’s and I was in my mid 20’s when we dated. He clearly had the upperhand. I am no longer angry with him after a year of separation and i can say that i did love him because i endured every bad thing i experienced. And I still wish him well. But i would not, for the love of god, do that to myself ever again.
His loss mama. 😘
Yes! Definitely. And i’m glad it ended the way it did. So many aqua men to choose from for every woman who wants a good aqua partner! My aqua now is kind. Imma stick with this one hahahaclick to expand
If he is a good one, hold on to him tight. I have witnessed a few lovely Water Bearer around me, and their marriages always warm my heart. 🙂
Posted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpio
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Anyone can be vengeful, don't get sidelined by astrology.click to expand
Very true indeed.
Would you have any advice on how to best weather such vengefulness ?
Posted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpio
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Anyone can be vengeful, don't get sidelined by astrology.
Very true indeed.
Would you have any advice on how to best weather such vengefulness ?
Never succumb to their games or insults. Be how you have been throughout this. End of it all, your dignity. You get to keep yours. He lost his.click to expand
Great reply 👍
Same concept when dealing with anyone.....stay dignified and don't succumb to the lower level of behaviour of others
Posted by MarijuanaHazePosted by MyStarsShinePosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpio
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Anyone can be vengeful, don't get sidelined by astrology.
Very true indeed.
Would you have any advice on how to best weather such vengefulness ?
Never succumb to their games or insults. Be how you have been throughout this. End of it all, your dignity. You get to keep yours. He lost his.
Great reply 👍
Same concept when dealing with anyone.....stay dignified and don't succumb to the lower level of behaviour of others
Thanks
it is sad but that's how many people are, they will try to pull down something beautiful to the ground. Who we love today won't be who we love tomorrow, doesn't mean we need to break their spirit to feel good about ourself.click to expand
❤️👍👏🏻
Would there have been a possibility that he cheated on me, thus his intensity of a reaction ? 😱
Posted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpio
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Anyone can be vengeful, don't get sidelined by astrology.
Very true indeed.
Would you have any advice on how to best weather such vengefulness ?
Never succumb to their games or insults. Be how you have been throughout this. End of it all, your dignity. You get to keep yours. He lost his.click to expand
Great advice, and yes, I intend to remain the same.
I merely hope the worst is over now, despite how it ended. Even within our mutual circles, I would not have a single bad word to say about his career, or his professional endeavours. In that, I still strongly believe he is good at. However, I should hope he will extend the same courtesy and respect me enough to leave me be. I could only hope.
Posted by exsqueezeme
I think I know who you were dating. #chanclasofwisdom
Hah, is that so ... and how would you know that ? 😆
Would there have been a possibility that he cheated on me, thus his intensity of a reaction ? 😱
Posted by exsqueezemePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by exsqueezeme
I think I know who you were dating. #chanclasofwisdom
Hah, is that so ... and how would you know that ? 😆
I believe they may have been commenting in your threadclick to expand
Hah, I doubt he would even be on an astrology site, much less this forum. 😆
Posted by exsqueezemePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by exsqueezeme
I think I know who you were dating. #chanclasofwisdom
Hah, is that so ... and how would you know that ? 😆
I believe they may have been commenting in your threadclick to expand
Though who may be your suspect, let us play detective. Amuse me, I need a bit of laughter right now. 😈
Bravo to you for walking away with dignity, nobody deserves to be thrown out in the middle of the night. Consider yourself lucky to have escaped the aquarian push/pull. They can be masters of the mind games, but not necessarily at forming loving, communicative relationships.
@ASCoppVenus, you have seen an aqua cry? That's surprising! In my lifetime of living with 3 aquas, only saw tears a couple of times. You must have really gotten to him...
Ms Stinger, use that surgical precision to cut him loose and never look back. There's a whole world of people out there that will appreciate and love you for your big heart.
🤗
@ASCoppVenus, you have seen an aqua cry? That's surprising! In my lifetime of living with 3 aquas, only saw tears a couple of times. You must have really gotten to him...
Ms Stinger, use that surgical precision to cut him loose and never look back. There's a whole world of people out there that will appreciate and love you for your big heart.
🤗
Posted by peachy06
But...you did nothing wrong ? How did he expects you to dance salsa ? Alone, perhaps ? I even see some married couples dancing that kind of dance with a teacher on TV. I think he was just waiting for a random excuse to break up with you.
Nothing. If I had done wrong, I would not be afraid to admit my fault in the matter.
In hindsight, I vaguely remember we had a discussion about dancing very early on when we first met one another. He found such dancing, as equivalent to two people having gone to bed with one another. He said no two people could possibly dance like that, and not end up together. Irrational jealousy is what I believe it was. You see, I have always been a dancer myself therefore my comfort zone in regards to having another individual up close to me, and sweaty is perhaps quite different to another. At the end of the day, it is dancing, to move intimately and to dance are two very different things. Dancing is equivalent to Acting. However, he always knew I was a dancer, and loved dancing. I never hid it from him, and I have so much as told him so.
That could be a possibility @peachy06, although if a man was simply looking for an excuse to break up with me. They would be far more indifferent, I have seen Water Bearers. If they merely want to leave, they are rather calm, and could care less. In this instance, he was not even the one broken up with. He had the upper hand in being the one to break up with me, yet he dragged it out in such a vindictive manner. A man who simply wants to leave, will merely leave. He would be relieved that I would be so quick to give him back his freedom.
Why and what would cause a man in that possible hypothesis to act out in this way ?
Posted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by MarijuanaHazePosted by TheLadyScorpio
Why are there no warnings of vengeful, callous, and vindictive Water Bearers online ?
There is no information at all regarding this topic. 😱
Anyone can be vengeful, don't get sidelined by astrology.
Very true indeed.
Would you have any advice on how to best weather such vengefulness ?
Never succumb to their games or insults. Be how you have been throughout this. End of it all, your dignity. You get to keep yours. He lost his.
Great advice, and yes, I intend to remain the same.
I merely hope the worst is over now, despite how it ended. Even within our mutual circles, I would not have a single bad word to say about his career, or his professional endeavours. In that, I still strongly believe he is good at. However, I should hope he will extend the same courtesy and respect me enough to leave me be. I could only hope.
Give him space to sort out his emotions and don't demand for your things right away. Aquas do better when they are given space.
Hope for the best but be ready for the worst.click to expand
Given how unstable he is at the moment, I still firmly made my stance. I will pick up the last of my belongings, in a days time. He kept refusing, trying to make ridiculous demands. I was not budging, and asked him to please respect my right of choice as well.
Enough is enough, if I allowed it, he would prolong this as much as he could. I do not want to run the risk that he would damage my belongings, should he have a fit when alone. This is no longer acceptable, he has done enough. I want to move forward, to do so, I need to put this chapter behind me.
Posted by AneemA04
I'm sorry to hear this..
You were treated so badly. I hope you will recuperate soon.
Stay healthy!
Thank you very much dear Aneem, I truly appreciate your words !
Frankly, I dodged a bullet and have been taking this experience as a lesson learned.
Yes, I was treated badly and did not deserve it. However, I will still remain as I am.
Kind, not bitter, certainly not filled with hate.
I will still speak highly of him, within his professional realm, and industry. He is good at what he does, however I should hope he has the courtesy to also carry such good will of my social reputation as well.
After all, we move in certain similar circles.
Will take good care of myself, be gentle, and surround myself with people who will support me during this time. Genuine friends, my work, and the loving company of myself. A book or two as well, perhaps a swim, and to catch a last tan before summer fades. 🙂
Posted by peachy06Posted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by peachy06
But...you did nothing wrong ? How did he expects you to dance salsa ? Alone, perhaps ? I even see some married couples dancing that kind of dance with a teacher on TV. I think he was just waiting for a random excuse to break up with you.
Nothing. If I had done wrong, I would not be afraid to admit my fault in the matter.
In hindsight, I vaguely remember we had a discussion about dancing very early on when we first met one another. He found such dancing, as equivalent to two people having gone to bed with one another. He said no two people could possibly dance like that, and not end up together. Irrational jealousy is what I believe it was. You see, I have always been a dancer myself therefore my comfort zone in regards to having another individual up close to me, and sweaty is perhaps quite different to another. At the end of the day, it is dancing, to move intimately and to dance are two very different things. Dancing is equivalent to Acting. However, he always knew I was a dancer, and loved dancing. I never hid it from him, and I have so much as told him so.
That could be a possibility @peachy06, although if a man was simply looking for an excuse to break up with me. They would be far more indifferent, I have seen Water Bearers. If they merely want to leave, they are rather calm, and could care less. In this instance, he was not even the one broken up with. He had the upper hand in being the one to break up with me, yet he dragged it out in such a vindictive manner. A man who simply wants to leave, will merely leave. He would be relieved that I would be so quick to give him back his freedom.
Why and what would cause a man in that possible hypothesis to act out in this way ?
Yes, but the fact that he is a fixed sign could make him stagnate. You know how we are, when we feel comfortable... Anyway, what he did was wrong and rude. You should just move on with your life.click to expand
The worst part is, all the gas lighting and blame he threw my way during that last time we were together. Still in rare moments during the day, play with my mind.
Was I wrong, did I do anything to push the argument too far, should I take on his load ?
Thankfully, good people are around me to take me out of that negative spiral to remind me I had done no wrong. To guide me back to focus on my own health, and my better qualities. To not forget them. He did do a number on me, in that emotional upheaval. Nothing I will not bounce back from, of course. I will move on, fret not. What is done, is done.
We are Stingers, death and rebirth. Thank you for writing anyways, peachy 🙂
Posted by Jules-ll
Bravo to you for walking away with dignity, nobody deserves to be thrown out in the middle of the night. Consider yourself lucky to have escaped the aquarian push/pull. They can be masters of the mind games, but not necessarily at forming loving, communicative relationships.
@ASCoppVenus, you have seen an aqua cry? That's surprising! In my lifetime of living with 3 aquas, only saw tears a couple of times. You must have really gotten to him...
Ms Stinger, use that surgical precision to cut him loose and never look back. There's a whole world of people out there that will appreciate and love you for your big heart.
🤗
Well technically, it was in the early hours of morning. Though it still remains the same, I was thrown out. Oh @Jules-II, I will not participate in such games. If he would like to push and pull, he could do it to himself but there will be no participants. The only part I am worried about is, we have mutual friends and circles. I hope he will let me go in peace, and not try to enact any further vengeful acts.
In regards to Water Bearers, I have seen every single Water Bearer I have known, of both genders, cry. In fact, this Water Bearer gone mad, has cried in the past because he thought he liked a woman who cared nothing for me, the woman being me. He was sobbing, as he told me that. Even, during that argument, in those rare instances where he looked as if someone killed a puppy, he had tears welling up in his eyes. Then the opposite occurred, and he went ice cold, then rage etc. If you would not have known him, you would have thought he was going bi polar. I do not say that lightly. 😐
Thank you for those last words, truly they touched me. It is really kind of you, I am certain there is a good man out there ready to accept my love, and to have a good / healthy relationship with. However, for now, I wish to be alone. I need to be, and want to be. For once in my life, I do not want any attachments to men in any form. Until this period passes, I will be amongst genuine friends, focused on my professional endeavours, and the loving company of myself. Enjoy a book here or there, explore new cafes, go for a swim, and enjoy the last tans of summer. Life moves on, and it will be glorious, I am certain of it. Optimistic, am I. One bad experience will not tear me down. 🙂
Posted by MissKrabs
cause he is unable to break up with you like a normal person since you haven't offered to go with him or whatever, he first wanted to make you a villain and hate you cause it's easier than go through separation pain. I saw this in scorpio man or this is some fixed shit. believe me good for you. he is weak and entitled.
@MissKrabs, but to go with him where ? What do you mean by that ?
Well, in either case he still sees me as a villain. Even when I did nothing, as I have done now. I am still painted as villain, and he still hates me. Therefore, why all that effort on his part to be this callous and vindictive. All wasted effort, no ?
Regarding separation pain, why would he have it, should I not be the one going through it, after all he was the one to break up with me and not vice versa ?
Yes, I am truly relieved, in pain, sad, hurt, but relieved. I dodged a bullet, and will recuperate in time. He had it all, though I may not be a perfect woman. I was at least one, who truly loved him, in that loyal and faithful Stinger way. Would have given him the world, and stood by his side through any storms or battles, but he chose to throw it all away. He will have to live with that choice, and the consequences.
*However, for now, I wish to be alone. I need to be, and want to be. For once in my life, I do not want any attachments to men in any form. Until this period passes, I will be amongst genuine friends, focused on my professional endeavours, and the loving company of myself. Enjoy a book here or there, explore new cafes, go for a swim, and enjoy the last tans of summer. Life moves on, and it will be glorious, I am certain of it. Optimistic, am I. One bad experience will not tear me down*
Lady❤️, try and stick to this for a while if you can.....I know you've said it more than once before and I know us fixed signs can take forever to learn, but if you don't, you will attract the same energy over and over again, it happened to me before. I remember a very wise Cancer lady saying to me "you take a long time to learn your lessons, don't you* after I'd gotten involved in yet another not so healthy rship. Lol, I cringed at the time but soon decided to think about it and made steps to change my life to a healthier and less needier one
There are stacks of things you can do without a man, actually I've found some are more enjoyable👍
Lady❤️, try and stick to this for a while if you can.....I know you've said it more than once before and I know us fixed signs can take forever to learn, but if you don't, you will attract the same energy over and over again, it happened to me before. I remember a very wise Cancer lady saying to me "you take a long time to learn your lessons, don't you* after I'd gotten involved in yet another not so healthy rship. Lol, I cringed at the time but soon decided to think about it and made steps to change my life to a healthier and less needier one
There are stacks of things you can do without a man, actually I've found some are more enjoyable👍
Posted by MyStarsShine
*However, for now, I wish to be alone. I need to be, and want to be. For once in my life, I do not want any attachments to men in any form. Until this period passes, I will be amongst genuine friends, focused on my professional endeavours, and the loving company of myself. Enjoy a book here or there, explore new cafes, go for a swim, and enjoy the last tans of summer. Life moves on, and it will be glorious, I am certain of it. Optimistic, am I. One bad experience will not tear me down*
Lady❤️, try and stick to this for a while if you can.....I know you've said it more than once before and I know us fixed signs can take forever to learn, but if you don't, you will attract the same energy over and over again, it happened to me before. I remember a very wise Cancer lady saying to me "you take a long time to learn your lessons, don't you* after I'd gotten involved in yet another not so healthy rship. Lol, I cringed at the time but soon decided to think about it and made steps to change my life to a healthier and less needier one
There are stacks of things you can do without a man, actually I've found some are more enjoyable👍
Yes, guilty as charged. We are a stubborn lot, and do indeed take a long time to learn our lessons. This has been a lesson, I needed to learn. Honestly, now I want time to be alone, to experience being single in all its glory. I have always enjoyed my own company, that was never the issue but now to push that realm to see what else I could discover, within myself. What more could I learn, how far could I push further in my professional endeavours, where could I help my inner circle of genuine friends etc.
Every time I said it so in the past, it was with the best of intentions but I always had some form of a male interest around me at any one time. There was always someone, whether it be a fleeting infatuation, someone I knew, or a casual fun connection. Except for once, and I mean this. I have nothing, I have ended every single one of them, or disconnected from them. It happened over time, but perhaps being with this Water Bearer was a blessing in disguise. Since, having been with him, I had cut out every other man.
Now, I am free, truly free, of everything. That is a liberating feeling. Surprisingly, I did not expect to feel such sense of ... dare I say, relief. To be so solid in my determination to be alone, to know I will firmly be able to say no to potential men. It brings forth a new sense of contentment in me. I have not given up on men, but now, is not yet the time.
As a fellow Stinger woman, you are always very lovely and kind to me stars, thank you. 🙂
Posted by tiziani
He was obviously feeling some type of way at the beginning of your story, and then he did a really crappy job of being an adult and just speaking on it.
Having said that, you could have handled it a lot better. Sometimes it's easier to do nothing than what you said.
Peppering him for a response and answers when he's all in his feels, yeah I have never seen that work out well for anyone.
If you know someone is already on the defensive then it's not going to help them by being cerebral or logical in that moment, it just leads to them feeling even more betrayed.
Maybe you both wanted to see reassurance from one another but you both blew it imo. This was unnecessary on both sides. Hopefully you will both be on the mend and manage to square it away like adults if you care for another another.
Perhaps @tiziani, I see your side of it as well. However, it was not peppering, it was truly trying to pin him for answers. If he were as free to throw lies right in my face, you know that would never go down well with anyone either. I also did not blow my fuse until he blew accusations and ridiculous statements over my way. Continuous blame, communicate but do not blame me.
Yes, I could have been far calmer but I have no regrets at all. Everyone is only human, he pushed me. If I had done nothing, I would have walked away never having been able to say anything. I know him well enough to a degree, that was either my chance or none at all. I was going to say my piece, I never said it before and was always very understanding, keeping my lips shut if it was not of vital importance, even on his worst of days. I was acting on my airiness, to be cerebral and logical. He is an air sign, he should have understood that. In fact, you are one yourself as well. Do you not understand that need to be that way during crisis mode ?
Besides, I was the one on the defensive not him. He was accusing, and blaming me. I was the one being broken up with. He was the aggressor. My intention was not reassurance, but final honesty, responsibility, accountability, acknowledgement, and truth. Now, I know, I will not get it. So I will lay that to rest, and moving on. No point beating a dead horse. There will be no mending, what he did was in no way acceptable, even before the situation got to its lowest point. I will love him still, but it will be from a far as someone I once knew. I carry no hate for him.
Posted by nanobot
Probably when your relationship is on the rocks, the best thing to do was not to go out dancing with other men. I read it from my perspective being that, you went out dancing because you felt scorned about his odd behaivor. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you can't say that there is no truth in that. Well that bit you in the butt. Aquarians won't play games like that, unless they have scorpio placements IMO.
There are few men out there who can be colder than an angry aquarius man. I have been on the receiving end multiple times, across many different relationship mediums lol. By a boyfriend, my father, and a friend. You need to give them space, a lot of space. But my experience with scorpios is that they will smother you during these times when they really care about you. I don't think he had ample time to cool off, you should have both exercised more self control. Especially you, as you paint yourself as the "logical" and more intelligent one here. You should have told him that you BOTH needed the space apart for awhile and stuck to your guns about it. His blocking you and unblocking you the next day, and you talking to him was not enough time for the dust to settle, hence why it blew up. He was very hurt and inflammatory, and you seemed to fuel the fires. I 100% think that if you gave him the space that he needed, he really would have came back and apologized and it could have changed the dynamic completely.
No, I went out dancing because for two days prior, in other realms of my life I was having a difficult time. Truly down in the dumps, and he knew about this. Dancing, was one of those few things that makes me truly happy. He knows this. I have not danced in a very long time. It was not to incite anything in him, it was for me. I truly needed something to cheer me up, especially since he was busy with a friend. It was me trying to entertain myself, not a ploy to get his attention.
That is me, being completely honest with myself. If it was a ploy, trust me, I would not have told him. Gone home, told him what I had done, and told him how enjoyable it was etc. That was not what I did, I involved him every step of the way. I wanted him to come, I truly wanted to dance with him, because I never have and it was something I always told him I wanted to do with him. Hah, the thought had turned me on. As inappropriate it is to say that now, but that was the truth. It was not a game.
The relationship was not on the rocks, he was acting strange yes, but on the rocks. It was not. Please read again, I did not smother him. I kept asking him to let me be, he kept coming at me. I did not want to talk to him, I did not message him after I moved my belongings. I stuck to my words, he was the one to write me with many accusations of threats etc. Also are you certain you read correctly. He blew up right after the dancing incident all the way till I was thrown out, and after. I was silent, after having left his home. He kept pushing me, after multiple request on my part, to be left alone, to stop pushing, to let me move on. He did not respect that, I blew up, then he blocked me. I did not talk to him again after he unblocked me. It was utter silence on my part, so do kindly read again what I had written.
It was in the wee hours of morning, how was either one of us going to have our space ?
How would you feel if you had not your own home keys with you, and told to go home with any man ?
I had to return to his home, if I had my own home keys. Trust me, I would have left him alone. Therefore please, read again, why the dynamics happened the way it did. I am not painting myself a certain way, I was emotional too, it was an emotional upheaval but out of the two of us. Yes, I will unashamedly say I was more logical and the more intelligent one. He admits it, not in a sarcastic manner either because he was caught out in multiple lies.
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by tiziani
He was obviously feeling some type of way at the beginning of your story, and then he did a really crappy job of being an adult and just speaking on it.
Having said that, you could have handled it a lot better. Sometimes it's easier to do nothing than what you said.
Peppering him for a response and answers when he's all in his feels, yeah I have never seen that work out well for anyone.
If you know someone is already on the defensive then it's not going to help them by being cerebral or logical in that moment, it just leads to them feeling even more betrayed.
Maybe you both wanted to see reassurance from one another but you both blew it imo. This was unnecessary on both sides. Hopefully you will both be on the mend and manage to square it away like adults if you care for another another.
Perhaps @tiziani, I see your side of it as well. However, it was not peppering, it was truly trying to pin him for answers. If he were as free to throw lies right in my face, you know that would never go down well with anyone either. I also did not blow my fuse until he blew accusations and ridiculous statements over my way. Continuous blame, communicate but do not blame me.
Yes, I could have been far calmer but I have no regrets at all. Everyone is only human, he pushed me. If I had done nothing, I would have walked away never having been able to say anything. I know him well enough to a degree, that was either my chance or none at all. I was going to say my piece, I never said it before and was always very understanding, keeping my lips shut if it was not of vital importance, even on his worst of days. I was acting on my airiness, to be cerebral and logical. He is an air sign, he should have understood that. In fact, you are one yourself as well. Do you not understand that need to be that way during crisis mode ?
Besides, I was the one on the defensive not him. He was accusing, and blaming me. I was the one being broken up with. He was the aggressor. My intention was not reassurance, but final honesty, responsibility, accountability, acknowledgement, and truth. Now, I know, I will not get it. So I will lay that to rest, and moving on. No point beating a dead horse. There will be no mending, what he did was in no way acceptable, even before the situation got to its lowest point. I will love him still, but it will be from a far as someone I once knew. I carry no hate for him.
So, self-preservation wins for now, then?
All I can say - even speaking as an air sign if we want - that being logical or cerebral did not help my relationships in those moments when it came to showing vulnerability, no. That's just my experience on it.
You talked about cheating 2 or 3 times in this thread, and I feel like that's pretty much getting at the "betrayal" factor I was talking about, when people get all logical and detached at the wrong times. I found when people I care for were wanting reassurance through a show of passion from me, and instead I was being cool and collected about it, it was as if I'd cheated them anyway. so there are just easier and far shorter ways to go about it in my experience. A lot of it is timing and a lot of it is two people caring enough for one another not to worry about looking ridiculous in front of another when getting it wrong. That is just what your stories made me think about in my own life.click to expand
Yes, self preservation wins for now. At least, for the sake of moving on.
Then I will take it as a lesson learned. What are mistakes for then ?
Although, like you said it goes both ways then. He could have been more sensitive, and showed vulnerability as well. He showed none, he merely put up a blockade. Had he shown vulnerability, trust me my need to be logical and rational would have been far diminished.
A show of passion ... what was I expected to do, to drag him into bed and have him ? 😆
Excuse my humour chip, it is entirely being inappropriate at the wrong times at the moment.
What was I supposed to do, that could or would make me look ridiculous ... cry in a fit of tears, sobbing ? Do tell, because that concept completely baffles me and I do not say this in a sarcastic manner. If I did such a thing, it would be acting and entirely against who I am. Which would have been a far worse betrayal, no ?
I do not mind looking ridiculous, but I do not know what act you are referring to, this 'show of passion'.
Care to give an example ?
Him being Italian, from the South not a Northerner. He probably was looking for a 'show of passion'. Whatever it is that you were referring to. Still awaiting clarification on it.
However @tiziani, it was not as if there was no heightened emotions during the entire episode. There was indeed, a fair amount of that.
However @tiziani, it was not as if there was no heightened emotions during the entire episode. There was indeed, a fair amount of that.
Posted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by tizianiPosted by TheLadyScorpioPosted by tiziani
He was obviously feeling some type of way at the beginning of your story, and then he did a really crappy job of being an adult and just speaking on it.
Having said that, you could have handled it a lot better. Sometimes it's easier to do nothing than what you said.
Peppering him for a response and answers when he's all in his feels, yeah I have never seen that work out well for anyone.
If you know someone is already on the defensive then it's not going to help them by being cerebral or logical in that moment, it just leads to them feeling even more betrayed.
Maybe you both wanted to see reassurance from one another but you both blew it imo. This was unnecessary on both sides. Hopefully you will both be on the mend and manage to square it away like adults if you care for another another.
Perhaps @tiziani, I see your side of it as well. However, it was not peppering, it was truly trying to pin him for answers. If he were as free to throw lies right in my face, you know that would never go down well with anyone either. I also did not blow my fuse until he blew accusations and ridiculous statements over my way. Continuous blame, communicate but do not blame me.
Yes, I could have been far calmer but I have no regrets at all. Everyone is only human, he pushed me. If I had done nothing, I would have walked away never having been able to say anything. I know him well enough to a degree, that was either my chance or none at all. I was going to say my piece, I never said it before and was always very understanding, keeping my lips shut if it was not of vital importance, even on his worst of days. I was acting on my airiness, to be cerebral and logical. He is an air sign, he should have understood that. In fact, you are one yourself as well. Do you not understand that need to be that way during crisis mode ?
Besides, I was the one on the defensive not him. He was accusing, and blaming me. I was the one being broken up with. He was the aggressor. My intention was not reassurance, but final honesty, responsibility, accountability, acknowledgement, and truth. Now, I know, I will not get it. So I will lay that to rest, and moving on. No point beating a dead horse. There will be no mending, what he did was in no way acceptable, even before the situation got to its lowest point. I will love him still, but it will be from a far as someone I once knew. I carry no hate for him.
So, self-preservation wins for now, then?
All I can say - even speaking as an air sign if we want - that being logical or cerebral did not help my relationships in those moments when it came to showing vulnerability, no. That's just my experience on it.
You talked about cheating 2 or 3 times in this thread, and I feel like that's pretty much getting at the "betrayal" factor I was talking about, when people get all logical and detached at the wrong times. I found when people I care for were wanting reassurance through a show of passion from me, and instead I was being cool and collected about it, it was as if I'd cheated them anyway. so there are just easier and far shorter ways to go about it in my experience. A lot of it is timing and a lot of it is two people caring enough for one another not to worry about looking ridiculous in front of another when getting it wrong. That is just what your stories made me think about in my own life.
Yes, self preservation wins for now. At least, for the sake of moving on.
Then I will take it as a lesson learned. What are mistakes for then ?
Although, like you said it goes both ways then. He could have been more sensitive, and showed vulnerability as well. He showed none, he merely put up a blockade. Had he shown vulnerability, trust me my need to be logical and rational would have been far diminished.
A show of passion ... what was I expected to do, to drag him into bed and have him ? 😆
Excuse my humour chip, it is entirely being inappropriate at the wrong times at the moment.
What was I supposed to do, that could or would make me look ridiculous ... cry in a fit of tears, sobbing ? Do tell, because that concept completely baffles me and I do not say this in a sarcastic manner. If I did such a thing, it would be acting and entirely against who I am. Which would have been a far worse betrayal, no ?
I do not mind looking ridiculous, but I do not know what act you are referring to, this 'show of passion'.
Care to give an example ?
"He could have been more sensitive, and showed vulnerability as well. He showed none, he merely put up a blockade. Had he shown vulnerability, trust me my need to be logical and rational would have been far diminished. "
Yes, exactly. I actually agree and that's pretty much what looks to have set this whole chain reaction of, from the beginning of your story. It's a 2 way street.
For your part, only you know the specific details.
But in my own life whenever I've been acting defensive, cold and basically being a wimp because I'm a little too afraid of what it feels like I have to lose, then the most disarming thing has been when she tells me or shows me that she wants to work it out, that she likes me. And just leaves it at that.
Passion, compassion but no not crying or drama/melodrama. Just being real about how she feels and that she wants it to work. And me too.click to expand
I did, I continually reaffirmed the fact that, that evening I had invited him to come as well because I had wanted to spend the evening with him, to dance with him, that he was who I had wanted to be with.
During the argument, many a times, I told him I loved him, I was willing to fight, etc. when he kept opposing every one of my positive words with blame, hate, and painful stabs. There is only so much, I could affirm before, it lit my fires.
He kept refusing, every single, good thing that I had to say to him. So much so as to even undo every promise he ever said to me, as if I misunderstood everything in our relationship. Do not do that to me, to lie to me, and make it seem as if everything I ever heard from him, was misunderstood. Gaslight me, and that is not an advised trigger to push. He not only pushed it, he broke it.
He was rejecting me, in the worst of ways, on top of the blame, and lies. To be negated, from multiple angles, over many layers. That hurt, deeply. His pride and ego, kept pushing me away. Eventually, I let him have at it. I left.
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To those that have followed my story.
It has come to an end, or so I believe.
[A brief overview of the story.]
Part 1
An evening a few days ago, he went out on evening with a friend. Frankly, he was quite strange the entire day prior. Asked him, if anything was bothering him as I always try to keep the communication channels open. His response, was to evade, to block me out, or be passive aggressive. I let him be. I told him I would go out that evening as well. He told me to update him, so he could join me later.
Fast forward to the evening, we were keeping in touch briefly. I told him I was going to try Salsa dancing and where I would be located, inviting him to come as well (as I had really wanted to spend time with him that evening, especially dancing, since we have not done so before). He told me he was going to go home, asked when I would be coming back, as he was hungry, and requested my cooking. Then he suddenly showed up, saw me with my arms around a man (that round was a free style latin dance, it is sensual but it is also dancing, it meant nothing). He threw a jealous fit, did not say hello therefore I did not know he had even arrived (I could not have possibly seen him in a crowded place, whilst dancing). He assumed the worst of me and stormed out. I only realised about ten minutes later. When I looked at my phone to see him, filling my phone with messages, calls, accusing me. To say he saw me (he lied about going home, he was most likely hoping to catch me in some kind of act), that I should keep enjoying my time with the man, to not come home, and have fun finding a man to go home with, or to ask around until someone does.
How disrespectful ! What did he take me for ?
If I were to cheat, would I tell him all the details of what I would be doing and where, inviting him along ? The answer would be no, therefore this was not fair. I did not have my own home keys with me at that point, only my wallet, my phone, and his home keys. To leave me out on the streets at that hour, was not right, especially to tell me to go home with any man, as if I was some, excuse the language, whore. I did not deserve to be treated that way. He knew I was going dancing, there were no secrets on my part. He never stated that he did not like me dancing at all (that it would trigger jealousy).
Went to his home regardless, he was silent, refusing to talk. I spoke my part regardless, because I was highly disrespected, treated like a dog, and completely misunderstood. He never communicated anything, this passive aggressive behaviour was not acceptable. Apparently, my pointing out the truth of the matter angered him. He told me he did not like it, the dancing. To outright tell me to cheat, is not ok. 😱
He never threw such a jealous fit before (he still never admitted his jealousy). I told him, you kept saying since our last argument I was not yours, no titles, we were not together, but monogamous / exclusive. I did not break any promises, I only danced with men that evening, did not let anyone kiss me nor do anything inappropriate, and refused free drink offers / telephone numbers etc. He exploded, told me he wanted this to end. He wanted his freedom back, to be alone. To immediately hand over the keys. Nobody took away his freedom, and I certainly did not take away his need to have space. He simply never communicated, always positively reinforced that he wanted me around all the time, despite my asking (communicative check ins) if that was what he truly wanted.
Part 2 ... as cont'd below