Help: Aquarius man confusing

I have been "hanging out" with this Aquarius guy from my job. I've been working there a year and he would always flirt with me when I drop something off in his department. That has been going on for the whole year until about a month and a half ago I gave him my number. So we texted and got to know each other a little better, he decided we should hang out on one of my off days. He canceled the first "hang out" session because he had a hangover so we re planned for another day. We hung out finally and chatted about a lot of things, he was very mysterious and hard to read. He also asked me am I'm looking for something solid and shook his head (red flag). So I really didn't pay that no mind because I liked this guy and felt attracted to him. So after we finished chatting he asked for a hug and I left. He was on vacation (off work not out of town) that week, so I didn't see him at work he also said he might go out of town on the weekend. So when I left from his house I felt happy and excited about him. But that easily went away he didn't call me for a week a text or nothing (red flag). So I was left feeling like he lost interest me. Then when he came back to work I passed him up and he said Hi and said call me when you get off work. I got back excited not thinking you didn't call or text me for a freaking week?? so I called him when I got off and he sounded so happy to talk to me and wanted to hang out again we talked for two hours. Everything seemed to be going fine. So we hung out the next day at his house watched a movie, he was back acting mysteriously, he wanted to see my body so I showed him a little. We got a little frisky with each other, then I left cause it was getting late, he hugged me passionately and said "we definitely got to do this again." So here we go again at work I noticed he started to act a little funny, he wouldn't flirt with me no more, he started to act distant. So one day I decide to send him a text while I was on break at work. To let him know I was thinking of him it was a simple "I wish I could hug you but were at work lol" and he replied: "I know right". So I ended up passing him again at work after that text message and we seriously acting weird. So I called him and asked him what's the deal dude why are you acting so distant. He told me it's different when he's at the job. In my head I'm thinking before we even got involved you use to always flirt with me and pay me alot of attention. So we didn't talk for a couple of days and

Continued...He calls me out of the blue asking how Iv'e been and wanting to hang out again. This time he was very excited to hang out and event told me he was excited. It's very rare to see/hear emotion out of him, so I was shock. I was seriously going to leave him alone after how distant he's been acting. So I decided to go by his place, and we started to make out and grind on each other a little. I wanted to spend a night and cuddle but he never asked me. I left and went home I was a little disappointed because now I felt he was just using me. So before I left he set up another date for next week we were going get something to eat this time. So I called him towards the end of the week just to chat and see if we were still on for next week date. So before we got off the phone he told me he'll call me before then...he didn't call me and even called off the date the day of I texted him saying "are you up"? he replied: "yea but Im have take a rain check Im not feeling well" I said: "Okay, get well" he replied "thanks". So I was left feeling disappointed again, after I was anticipating the date. And he haven't called me in a week.

Forget him. He's not into you. Sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. Stop texting him, stop calling him and stop approaching him. Don't chase him. He should come to you and if any guy isn't making a better effort to spend time with you, he doesn't deserve you.

Thanks truecap, This is the first guy I liked in a long time. I was hoping it would work out but your right he's not making the effort.

Maybe if you back off and don't contact him, he will step up and make more efforts.

I am a cap, so it's not an aqua opinion, just one on relationships. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. I can be kind of short sometimes. It wasn't intended to sound rude, I'm just blunt. (blaming the mercury in capricorn).

Or alternatively I suggest calling him out on this. Taking out everything and my experiences from the workplace it just sounds like you've become a booty call.

I don't know what to think of your little situation.

Seems that after two three dates he is just not that into you yet or ever . Not sure what you were thinking hoping to be married after date two? Aquas go slow and get to know love interests and wont go faster than they are willing too. On that note if I am ready and want someone i'll pursue someone faster than a taurus after a free buffet.

ok this is what it sounds like to me. He is scared cuz he thinks your trying to make him your bf. i myself as an aquarius will play the little tug of war game with guys. they like me i get scared, they dont act as interested i like them. hes playing games prably not on purpose. Hes prably afraid to commit. For those who are afraid to commit we can tell right away when someone is interested in that. i would just drop him. dont play anymore of his games it could go on forever.

"faster than a Taurus at a free buffet"

Lol!!! Got a mental image, and it wasn't pretty! haha!

I understood from the beginning he didn't want a relationship. I just didn't expect him to be so distant/cold towards me at work. I also didn't expect him to not call/text that much. I was a okay with FWB type relationship with him, but he's hard to understand and communicate with. I'm an aries woman and don't understand Aquarius men. This was the first(Aqua man) I was involved with and I'll tell you I want date another, their too into themselves for me.

So literally you are just upset he doesn't flirt or keep in contact or pay you attention now that the FWB relationship has been established?

*shrugs* I'm not sure about FWB relationships to be honest because I can never see myself in one but isn't the whole idea is to not get attached? I think on this front the Aqua you mention has a way better sense of what a FWB is.

Aquasnoz, I'm not mad at that it's just he treated me way better before we got "involved". He doesn't have to flirt but atleast act normal and speak like before. He also don't want anyone at the job to know about us(which I agree). But like I said we haven't talked in a week and he canceled the date maybe he did think I'm trying to make him my bf. I'm just trying be friends with him, but he doesn't see it that way. He just want a booty call, when he's ready. I read other places Aquarius men are players and don't like emotion. After dealing with this guy I believe it.

I just don't understand if it is just FWB you are expecting a lot more emotions out of this which wouldn't classify this as FWB situation. Do aqua men have feelings? Sure we do, just like every other men out there. Were you guys clear on the fact it's just sex? If not I suggest you talk to him about this but it's pretty clear from his actions already.

Does this make him a bad person? maybe. Does this make what he's doing wrong? no and yes. Yes as in I'm just against FWB situations but no because you're allowed it to happen and now you're upset that he got his cookie and is now moving on to the next conquest.

Also don't lump all aquas into the same category.

Actually screw the whole FWB let's think more along the lines of just fuck buddies, though the two are one of the same to me. Are you saying you want a normal friendship, but not be committed and have casual sex now and then?

If it's a yes then okay makes better sense. But have you considered he just thought of you as a fuck buddy? a Booty call. It doesn't make him without feelings, he's just not putting any feelings into this little arrangement you guys have because either a) he doesn't have feelings for you b) he's protecting himself c) he's protecting you.

He didn't make it clear that we were FWB. The emotion thing I just associated with him being cold at work and the not text/call in long periods of time. If your friends with someone man or woman you'll call and talk to them or atleast see how they've been or send a simple text. Everytime we get off the phone he'll say I'll call you later, and never does. We also never hang out on the weekends. Obviously he got other priortys and I'm last on the list. We were in the getting know each other stage and suppose to be going on more dates but he doesn't seem interested. I've had other men call or text me everyday or every other day especially in the getting to know each other stage. This guy doesn't give a squat, but call me when he ready too. He just seems selfish and all bout himself to me. He probably got other chicks he's talking too, maybe that's why we can't hang out on weekends.

Your right all Aqua's are not like that, sorry but this just my first time dealing with one.

And yes I just want a normal friendship with him, after finding out he didn't want a serious relationship. But he's the one who wanted sex. I actually like talking to him on the phone and hanging out with him. I agree he only see me as a treetrunk buddy, sad but true. He doesn't want friendship, he already got his friends. He's also 12 years older than me, which he is stuck in his ways.

Posted by Zun
he treated me way better before we got "involved". .

This is going to sound mean, please realize that I mean to be helpful, not hurtful. Remember, I'm an older generation than you. Some men, although they like FWB relationships, will not respect a women who enters into one willingly because it is viewed as she doesn't respect herself enough to demand he treat her like a lady. In my younger days, women who did this were frowned upon. Now, personally, I don't think its wrong and I don't have any judgements on it whatsoever and I know times have changed, but I just wanted to mention this as a possibility. That said, it is my belief that it is better not to get "involved" if you want to be treated better.

Gosh, I sound like my grandmother! Please forgive me if I sound archaic and judgemental, I don't mean to be.

Alright now I'm starting to make heads of the story.

There's several possibilities as to why he's not keeping in contact with you but suffice to say it doesn't really matter. I believe if anyone's even slightly emotionally attached to someone they'll call and he's not doing this apart for his own satisfaction. On the odd chance he's just way too shy and doesn't know how to deal with it I doubt there's anything you can do to get him to open up and then again another red flag perhaps?

Relating back to the red flags I think you've already summed up perfectly well he's not material for a long term relationship by your standards so the answer here is rather simple stop caring about the whole situation and remove yourself from it. No?

I can understand why you feel the way you do... I can empathize with the fact you just assumed this would blossom into more.... Don't deny it because obviously that would be stupid. I think for some damn reason FWB is probably the worst arrangement you can make with an Aquarius... BUT I also ponder the fact that I am Aquarius and have never done that myself... I honestly don't even pursue stuff like that. I really think any sign of zodiac not just Aquarius that is going in for something like this should expect this sort of behavior.

I think the fact that it is upsetting you is reason enough for you stop that little arrangement and make him work for it. If he truly likes you at all it will not hinder him from being friends with you.. To be honest it could work in your favor "maybe" only cause Aquarius men tend to respect women more who don't just fall at their every whim.... And hold there ground on a stance that is plausible and logical. He was interested in you for a reason be that person you always are and don't sell yourself short just cause he asks— Even if you want to.. A good thing to think about is Aquarius men are not typically the ones to rush into sex and physical interaction and the fact that he is shows he is not really following his love language which is a red flag to me.

Obviously.. Do what you want but you cut off the goodies and your gonna really see how much he likes and don't try to act like you don't care be wise you obviously do... -_-

Okay sorry you have admitted I guess.. But didn't see cause I was in the middle of posting my bad.

Truecap, I know I messed up by getting involved with him without having him take me out on dates and getting an understanding.

Aquasnoz, basically all the red flags are there for me to see, this guy just isn't in to me. He will probably never be, which sucks because I liked him. He was a charmer at first and then turned cold. I guess he started treating me like all the other girls he mess around with without any commitment. I'm going to leave him alone and move on. He'll probably call me out of the blue but I'll try my best not answer it.

NotYourAverageAquarius, Yea I'm going to cut it off with him. He's showing me he doesn't even want to be friends by how he acts at work. That's odd that Aquas like people who don't show them attention or fall at their every whim. What's wrong with someone admiring you and being nice?

Yeah definitely! If I was a girl I'd drop him for sure. If a girl did that to me I'd drop her too!! I honestly don't get why some guys out there do this, I'm baffled to be honest. I'm pretty bad when I find out things like this happened to me. The whole thing about Aquas being friendly and social? All that goes out the window if anyone tries a stunt like this on me.

I can relate to NYAA say because I think it's in the Aquarius nature to take a longer time to establish a real connection with someone which means time together and the quality of the time together. What strikes us we find curious and exciting but that's without saying once we find there's no substance behind it (even if there is and perhaps we just didn't see it) we will just move on.

As cold as it sounds it's where some of us cop a bad rep for being unemotional and being brutally honest.

Look I'm not saying we don't like GENUINE compliments and admiration. It's just this.... For some god awful reason women are attracted to the oddness or something lol... I mean I don't even get it really because I'm just average looking and still I always get this vibe like they all so damn interested in me... Im in class girl finds out Im taking a class she already took offers to give me her notes from the class I never even asked for them— Shit like that... If I asked her for anything likely hood is she would do it(lol within reason for those of you with dirty minds obviously I have one 😉) That is till she got to know me better. I dunno Im more attracted to someone who is strong and doesn't need me but wants me. Someone I can depend on and is smart preferably as well... Most of them got women doing that all the time... What he is gonna notice is a women who is nice and polite but doesn't always just bend to his whim because he says hey fetch.. He is gonna find someone who is strong and loving the same time way more attractive.... a smart women.

Im not saying you just defy for the same of defying him.... Just be YOU and don't what you wouldn't do.... Do what you think is right regardless of how you might think he'll react... Don't be a pleaser per se be a fighter of your respect as a person and your personal beliefs.

same = sake

Don't do what you wouldn't do*

Posted by Zun
Truecap, I know I messed up by getting involved with him without having him take me out on dates and getting an understanding.

Well, just chalk it up as a lesson learned. Something to think about in the future.


*whispers* I learned lessons the hard way. Shhhh!

NoyYourAverageAquarius, Good advice and it's definitely nothing wrong with wanting strong minded people who won't be at your feet. Obviously Aquas are attractive lol I think it's your magnetic personalities. I think I might be might be better off as friends with Aquas because the relationship thing is complicated.

It sounds odd to me. I get the feeling he is playing the field, he has other options for now. Possibly the reason why he doesn't want anyone at work to even think something is going on with you. He also hasn't taken you anywhere in public? Yeah, strange...

I think he wasn't taking me out because he didn't want me to get the idea that were dating/together. Basically I became a booty call hoping it would be something more. I'm 23 and he is 36 but looks and act younger than his age. I told a few friends of mine about the situation and they told me he should be taking me out to dinner, movies etc.They told me I should back off, he's obviously has someone or he's a player. As an Aries woman we know what we want, and don't like when people BS us. Just keep it real and don't play games. Yes were impatient, but we don't like to be left not knowing what's going on. I'm open to trying other Aquarius men but this one has me so mentally drained, I don't even know if I want to try it again.

Hey don't let it discourage you. Your young and to top it off your Aries... Like it's in your nature to jump into things probably faster then you should... I guess or w/e. lol I took some quiz on what sign I should be said I should be an Aries haha anyways that's off topic. I dated an Aries once and think it can be a good relationship... I think what I like the most about her was... Damn she initiated like everything haha well NOT EVERYTHING but way more than any other girl I dated did. She just walked right up to me at a restaurant on one of our first dates and straight up kissed me lol! Like not scared nothing total confidence I was like damn! ^.^ I'll admit I was much younger then like probably barely 20 or 19... so I dunno I might have felt differently about that now then I did then. But just thinking about it right now, seems like I still like that memory.... I can see why Aries seduces scorpio so much haha that confidence of just yeah you know you want this. Despite it didn't work out between me and her I still think it's a great match... She was a year older than me too.

Just be more careful about who you give your heart too... If your wondering I dated that girl for like ehh 2 n a half years.

I would say, be careful who you give your body to. Get to know them, take your time.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
I would say, be careful who you give your body to. Get to know them, take your time.

Yeah well... Im assuming some people don't think that way but I dunno how you can do one with out the other, so yes..... I totally agree with ya 😉

Posted by aquapiscescusp
I would say, be careful who you give your body to. Get to know them, take your time.

+1

He got mad because I didn't say anything to him at work today, he said hi to me but I didn't respond. I didn't even look him in the eye, I had on my mp3 player and just dropped off the stuff for his department. He pushed the stuff back and said "your not speaking, now your trying too hard" he looked mad like he was hurt. Like seriously he act like the way he act towards me doesn't affect me, like I'm suppose to forget. I felt so much better not showing him any attention. I guess some of you guys are right Aquas like when someone doesn't pay them attention. I'm not going to play this tug a war game with him.

I wouldn't say I like being ignored it just would make me work harder if I really liked you unless I got the creepy stalker vibe you weren't really into me then.... Then I'd feel to weird to pursue you

Then again who know's if I viewed it as you being immature I might care and just ignore you back... Wow we really are an unpredictable bunch.... I guess it just comes down to how I perceive it logically in my mind.

This is the second time I didn't speak him. I remember few weeks ago I was over him and didn't want to speak to him at work and he later called me that day to see what was up. We ended up hanging out the next day, big mistake on my part I should've just kept ignoring then. This time though I'm going stay strong and not let him get my attention.

@Zun, Aries here. In my experience with Aqua males, they can sense the difference between you ignoring them for the sole purpose of playing a game AND doing so because you are over them.

Something tells me that he knows you are back on the well-worn Aries path of "Keep it movin' on down the dusty trail". It sounds as though you close to getting into Aries ice territory which to my knowledge and experience means that pretty soon he will cease to exist for you completely. 🙂

This is different from the stereotypical Aqua detachment behavior. Once Aries go all ice. We are done. We will not check back with you. You are dead to us. Usually forever or at least for 20 years.

^ Hi fellow Aries, Yes I'm officially over this guy. I even confronted him today about some stuff and he got really mad. We both agreed just to be work associates. I'm glad it's over 🙂 this Aqua man drained me mentally the last few months. I'm back feeling like myself. And yes once an Aries is over you their over you, we definitely turn ice cold.