I cant let him go

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idknotsure
@helpmepls
10 YearsLibra

Comments: 0 · Posts: 63 · Topics: 27
im a libra (sun libra, moon libra, rising pisces) hes the typical, mysterious, quiet, distant, never had a gf before, aqua male (sun aqua, moon leo?, rising leo?)

we've been flirting/interested in each other for about 2 years, but i dont think either of us talk about a relationship because we know we are too busy at the moment with travelling etc

during these 2 years hes done the typical disappearing act, sometimes a couple days to a few months, but i tried to do the whole 'act like i dont care, be kind and understanding' thing, and he always came back but he never mentioned other girls whenever i hinted it.

i do believe i have some deep attachment to him that ive never felt with anyone, even during the times i thought he left for good, its always been there.

about 2 months ago he told me he got laid by some girl (which would be his first time since he never got with a girl before) and he told me so casually as if we were just friends, i think he was trying to see some reaction out of me, i responded very coldy like 'thats nice' (usually im really talkative so it should've been a red flag to him) and he told me he decided he prefers something more intimate and he wasn't into it and that it was a casual hookup, then asked me what ive been up to but i left him on read and i haven't responded in 2 months which is the longest ive done, but he never tried to contact me after that asking if i was ok

i know he can do what he wants since we're not committed but internally i've forgiven him but i feel like i shouldn't and that he should know what he did hurt me but its so long ago and i dont want to make a big deal for nothing, i just miss him but i dont want to be all emotional and needy, you know?

like i dont know if i should just talk to him casually and see if he brings it up or just leave it in the past since we're not committed. i know emotional/clingy stuff scares away aquas and i dont know (even though he acts like it) if he genuinely likes me the way i like him

sorry that this sounds super high school, but please try to see where im coming from