IAmMystified
@IAmMystified
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 4 · Posts: 1030 · Topics: 51
I got asked to go again and I don't want to!
Just tell him no because of the honest reason. Tell him YOU didn't have fun last time because you didn't get to participate much and that you didn't enjoy it because of that.
Don't tell him it's because he doesn't like playing against or with people that suck. Why would you put yourself down like that? Why blame him for you not having a good time? Keep it about you and your feelings without blaming him. It's not his fault you didn't have a good time, you didn't stand up for yourself when it happened and just let it be, sat there and stewed on it instead of speaking up. Should have said something as soon as it happened last time. So, it's really your fault you didn't get to hit any balls.
If you had said something and he kept doing it, then that would be different. But you didn't. How was he supposed to know you weren't okay with it?
Don't tell him it's because he doesn't like playing against or with people that suck. Why would you put yourself down like that? Why blame him for you not having a good time? Keep it about you and your feelings without blaming him. It's not his fault you didn't have a good time, you didn't stand up for yourself when it happened and just let it be, sat there and stewed on it instead of speaking up. Should have said something as soon as it happened last time. So, it's really your fault you didn't get to hit any balls.
If you had said something and he kept doing it, then that would be different. But you didn't. How was he supposed to know you weren't okay with it?
Posted by truecap
Just tell him no because of the honest reason. Tell him YOU didn't have fun last time because you didn't get to participate much and that you didn't enjoy it because of that.
Don't tell him it's because he doesn't like playing against or with people that suck. Why would you put yourself down like that? Why blame him for you not having a good time? Keep it about you and your feelings without blaming him. It's not his fault you didn't have a good time, you didn't stand up for yourself when it happened and just let it be, sat there and stewed on it instead of speaking up. Should have said something as soon as it happened last time. So, it's really your fault you didn't get to hit any balls.
If you had said something and he kept doing it, then that would be different. But you didn't. How was he supposed to know you weren't okay with it?
Because any normal with half a brain knows you don't dominate a game like that and make it all about you. Know what I mean? I know I didn't say anything and I didn't becuase I know how he is. He doesn't listen to me.
When I was playing 1-1 with one of the other people he kept hitting the balls on my side to my opponent and I was SERVING. I said to him, "Hey can you stop I'm serving. With this look on my face and he kept doing it. He didn't want to sit there and watch he kept trying to take over"
And my "comment" wasn't really putting me down, I don't really think i suck but I wanted to insert that in there because I know that's the reason why. He thinks I don't play well so he only wanted to play against people who could match his skills. Why else would he not want to play 1-on-1 with me and the minute I suggested it he said 2 vs. him.
So you can read his mind now? Did he ever say this?
If you don't want to play, don't play. You're not even required to give an explanation. Just say you don't want to play and leave it at that.
If you don't want to play, don't play. You're not even required to give an explanation. Just say you don't want to play and leave it at that.
Well why else would someone not want to play 1-on-1 with everyone except when it was my turn. I was trying to participate and be all entertainy too just to level the playing field and of course that didn't work.
And your right Im not even required to go nor have an explanation. He needs to stop bugging me about it.
And your right Im not even required to go nor have an explanation. He needs to stop bugging me about it.
He did it again. I didn't play but I did go with a close work colleague and her daughter.
He didn't even acknowledge me. We'd cheer off and on when ppl did something good like "good hit" "nice hustle". Everytime he ignored my comments. Anyone else he'd say thank you or something.
After they where all done playing, I was talking with my work colleague and her daughter and he and a coworker joined our convo and he'd talk to the colleague that was with me but again he wouldn't even look at me. I was even talking to everyone and I even said stuff to him but he would respond. He didn't even look or reply.
Even as he said he had to go and said bye my colleague and her daughter said bye and he said bye back.
But when I did nothing. It was obvious even my coworker noticed.
She's like is he mad at you he didn't say anything to you.
I'm not even imagining things!
He didn't even acknowledge me. We'd cheer off and on when ppl did something good like "good hit" "nice hustle". Everytime he ignored my comments. Anyone else he'd say thank you or something.
After they where all done playing, I was talking with my work colleague and her daughter and he and a coworker joined our convo and he'd talk to the colleague that was with me but again he wouldn't even look at me. I was even talking to everyone and I even said stuff to him but he would respond. He didn't even look or reply.
Even as he said he had to go and said bye my colleague and her daughter said bye and he said bye back.
But when I did nothing. It was obvious even my coworker noticed.
She's like is he mad at you he didn't say anything to you.
I'm not even imagining things!
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I even said next time something like this happens, I'm not attending. Well guess what...tennis again!
Aqua man even asked me ahead of time but yet again bugged me to go and I said that I didn't want to go. When he asked me why, I said because I don't play tennis well and he said so what? Which is great but I remember the last time, he for instance didn't want to play one-on-one with me. When it was my turn he was like how about 2 vs me.
I don't care what reason is going on his head even if it was a nice reason, what that looks like to every normal person is that they suck and they need an extra person for it to be fair.
Anyway I was hell bent on not going despite him bugging me since then but I overheard alot of our mutual friends are going and some ppl are bringing their relatives. I'll be the only one not going.
But if I did decide to go, I don't want a repeat of where Mr. Aqua man tries to dominate the entire thing with the "me me me" attitude and then he wants me to be his doubles partner but he ends up trying to hit everything himself.
So I figured if he bugs me again today (We're playing tonight), I'm just going to flat out say this:
Me: "I don't want to play because I don't play well and I know you don't like playing with or against people who suck so what's the point?" That's direct but it comes across as a debbie downer kinda reaction but its the truth.
Even then, he'll either get quiet or be in denial and not "get it".
So how can I get it across that he needs to make things not all about him all the time. He always does this in group settings, he's more attentive one-on-one of course but whenever he and I are in a big group...I'm like the only one he's not entertaining.
He has a buddy who is also an Aqua male we'll call him "T" and T is super hospitable and he knows how to make everyone feel welcome and he always great to talk to and hang out with and in some ways my aqua friend is probably jealous about that but he'd get the same behavior out of me if he knew how to make everyone feel welcome.