Introverted Aquarians and loneliness

Both my mom and my oldest sister are Aquarians and both barely socialize outside of our family. My sister more so than my mother, but rarely and mostly driven by her Cancer husband. The problem isn't making friends. They are both very sophisticated and charming and people actually are naturally drawn to them. Both have difficulties having to commit to keeping up friendships. Both enjoy company, but will tell me how relieved they are once they are by themselves again.

I know that my mom feels pretty lonely at times, which is almost ironic because people always want to spend time with her and I'm essentially just repeating my mantra of "if you want to have a circle of friends you can rely on, you need to invest a little of your time and freedom" every time we talk.

Has anyone experienced similar and have advice as to how to best tackle this?

introverted will always lead to loneliness.

Posted by Happy_Aqua
Why would you want to tackle this?

They both admit they enjoy company but also that hey are relieved to be by themselves again. Just let them be.

I am like that too. I can have dozens of friends if I want to, but I don't. I have a few good friends who don't exhaust me or drain me. They always support me when I need it and I do the same for them. I have no time for a network of friends, and I don't like superficial friendships.

Sure, socializing is fun, but it can be exhausting too, especially if you are an introvert. Personally I need time to recharge, which is almost impossible if you have lots of friends.

I would just let it go en let your Aqua relatives live life how they want to.

I want to tackle it because I figure my usual response doesn't seem all that helpful, so I'm trying to see different angles to it!

Im not trying to force anyone to do anything they don't want to. Not sure how you came to that conclusion. I'm going off of my two beloved family members telling me they feel lonely and they wish they had people to go out with. Sounds to me like they're missing something and not "live life how they want to".

Posted by peo
Both my mom and my oldest sister are Aquarians and both barely socialize outside of our family. My sister more so than my mother, but rarely and mostly driven by her Cancer husband. The problem isn't making friends. They are both very sophisticated and charming and people actually are naturally drawn to them. Both have difficulties having to commit to keeping up friendships. Both enjoy company, but will tell me how relieved they are once they are by themselves again.

I know that my mom feels pretty lonely at times, which is almost ironic because people always want to spend time with her and I'm essentially just repeating my mantra of "if you want to have a circle of friends you can rely on, you need to invest a little of your time and freedom" every time we talk.

Has anyone experienced similar and have advice as to how to best tackle this?

That's me in a nutshell. I love my own company but every once in awhile I need a friend or two but if they stay or talk too long I need time away. Nothing against them I am just both an introvert and an extrovert. Bouts of loneliness is a result of our moodiness. Sometimes I am lonely and have no clue why.

Both me and my Aqua are introverts and we are the best friends one to each other. We reach out maybe once or twice per month, visiting friends or relatives and socializing as normal people do, having great conversations and enjoying our time with them, but then we go back to recharge ourselves in each other's company. Well, at least we are sharing the loneliness 🙂

This is the reason for which our holidays are no longer than two weeks at a time. It is consuming to spend too much time surrounded by people we do not click too well with, even if they are our own relatives.

An introvert doesn't really change. Your mother should try to get out more with the people she is comfortable with (you, by example). There is no need to have new friends, but to try to enjoy the ones she already has. Aquas seem not too willing to initiate though, especially if they feel moody, but you can suggest various outdoor activities, by example.

I think Aquarius don't take the time to understand How other people feel & think

Posted by EveryOunce

Posted by peo
Both my mom and my oldest sister are Aquarians and both barely socialize outside of our family. My sister more so than my mother, but rarely and mostly driven by her Cancer husband. The problem isn't making friends. They are both very sophisticated and charming and people actually are naturally drawn to them. Both have difficulties having to commit to keeping up friendships. Both enjoy company, but will tell me how relieved they are once they are by themselves again.

I know that my mom feels pretty lonely at times, which is almost ironic because people always want to spend time with her and I'm essentially just repeating my mantra of "if you want to have a circle of friends you can rely on, you need to invest a little of your time and freedom" every time we talk.

Has anyone experienced similar and have advice as to how to best tackle this?

That's me in a nutshell. I love my own company but every once in awhile I need a friend or two but if they stay or talk too long I need time away. Nothing against them I am just both an introvert and an extrovert. Bouts of loneliness is a result of our moodiness. Sometimes I am lonely and have no clue why.

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This sounds exactly like what she describes.

She's going to an art show with a neighbor today. This connection/connecting has been months in the making. So here's to her stepping out of her comfort zone.

Posted by compy
Both me and my Aqua are introverts and we are the best friends one to each other. We reach out maybe once or twice per month, visiting friends or relatives and socializing as normal people do, having great conversations and enjoying our time with them, but then we go back to recharge ourselves in each other's company. Well, at least we are sharing the loneliness 🙂

This is the reason for which our holidays are no longer than two weeks at a time. It is consuming to spend too much time surrounded by people we do not click too well with, even if they are our own relatives.

An introvert doesn't really change. Your mother should try to get out more with the people she is comfortable with (you, by example). There is no need to have new friends, but to try to enjoy the ones she already has. Aquas seem not too willing to initiate though, especially if they feel moody, but you can suggest various outdoor activities, by example.

Unfortunately I'm 12 flight hours away. She hasn't kept up any friendships, which is one of the things that comes up often when we speak. I coordinated with my brother and my sister in law to have them have lunch together once a week. Other than that I'm just trying my best to listen whenever she feels alone.

So that's why I'm like this. My God damn aqua Venus. Makes sense. The girl I'm seeing does this too. Hours and days alone in her room. Sometimes she'll even shut me out for a few days(I don't mind)(I mean sometimes I do when I'm feeling chatty or want her attention) she comes back though(she's never really gone she just shuts down). Aquas burn a lot of energy mentally. It's literally gymnastic teams going on in their head.

Posted by -Flo-

Posted by d0s3r

Posted by -Flo-

Posted by d0s3r
my sister has loads of friends but isolates herself when her mind is occupied

isn't this just an aquarian 'fuck society' type thing?

Don't all water signs need their space as well?

well for me it's only because i get overloaded and need to isolate myself

but i don't like to. i crave being around people

It's the same for an Aquarius, we just show it differently. It's just a natural trait if you are an introvert.

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I "retreat" from the world too, but it's by far not as extreme and usually only happens after I spend a lot of social time or if I'm sad/depressed.

Posted by MissLadyIceQueen
So that's why I'm like this. My God damn aqua Venus. Makes sense. The girl I'm seeing does this too. Hours and days alone in her room. Sometimes she'll even shut me out for a few days(I don't mind)(I mean sometimes I do when I'm feeling chatty or want her attention) she comes back though(she's never really gone she just shuts down). Aquas burn a lot of energy mentally. It's literally gymnastic teams going on in their head.

My mom overthinks like nobody else I know. I mean I overthink a lot, but no comparison to her. She'll have insomnia spells because her mind takes her for a ride. So the exhaustion makes a lot of sense. But I also see a connection because a lot of her anxieties and overthinking goes back to her feeling alone.

Posted by peo

Posted by MissLadyIceQueen
So that's why I'm like this. My God damn aqua Venus. Makes sense. The girl I'm seeing does this too. Hours and days alone in her room. Sometimes she'll even shut me out for a few days(I don't mind)(I mean sometimes I do when I'm feeling chatty or want her attention) she comes back though(she's never really gone she just shuts down). Aquas burn a lot of energy mentally. It's literally gymnastic teams going on in their head.

My mom overthinks like nobody else I know. I mean I overthink a lot, but no comparison to her. She'll have insomnia spells because her mind takes her for a ride. So the exhaustion makes a lot of sense. But I also see a connection because a lot of her anxieties and overthinking goes back to her feeling alone.

click to expand

Yeah the girl I'm seeing has anxiety as well, coupled with depression. So I mean like it's hard for her. I just love her through it. When she needs space I try not to crowd it, and when she comes back I welcome her with open arms.

Do not forget that Aquas are very stubborn and they can obsess about certain issues. It is all in their heads. Sometimes they keep complaining about the same things over and over again, without trying to actually reach a solution. I also hear constant complaints about job issues from my Aquarius, but digging deeply into the matter I realized it was only a way of expressing other stress related issues. I emphasized a lot to take it more lightly and he is improving, yet I am extremely careful with his anxiety physical manifestations and make sure he really relaxes while being at home and he sleeps well. Being unconditionally but healthily supportive helps a lot. Also, driving his attention away to more pleasant thoughts or activities, music, hobbies and entertaining talks and keeping him away from stressful things, ideas, facts. Sometimes I feel like he is fragile like a glass...

Reach your mother as often as you can and actively listen to her, but it's of no use to find solutions if she doesn't want to.