Just wondering..is it over..or time will fix it..

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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

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Hey all, I am just wondering??_.I had an on an off relationship with a guy..and he just seemed I don't know. We have had an up and down communication. I am a virgo..he is an Aqua..and the last few time we where together..he said he loved me..*He brought it up not me* and told me not to push him. Not sure how that is..but I said ok??_well.I thought everything was good..after we seen each other after Thanks Giving. He started a new job??_I had not heard from him in 2 weeks..I kept txt..nothing..so I finally asked him Hey..how are you..are you mad at me or something? I had not heard from you? He stated he was sick the first week..and he lost a very dear and close friend that following..I told him I am sorry to hear that..if you need anything I am here. Week go by..no nothing again. To make a long story short I had been going over our motives with each other. I txt him —When you get the chance..later on I want to sit down and talk with you about something?? He kept pressing the issue to know what it was about. I told him it was not of high importance..I understand he is going through..and contact me when he can. He said call me..I said don't worry about it right now..he said what is the question..and I asked him do he trust me? He said where did that come from? What made you asked me that? I said do you? He called me..and asked me the same thing? I said do you..he said why are you asking me this? And when you tell me why I will answere you..then he hung up. I proceed in telling him why,I just wanted to know after 2 years of arguing, talking, laughing then him admitting to me he loves me and I love him what am I to you? He said I just love my f*** friend whom I loved dearly and you come with this F*** convo? You always make things about you..and your argumentive and confrontational.. And you ask me do I trust you?? I told him that is why I said it was not of importance now??_.I have apologized..tried to reach out for a week and a half..no response..I wanted to know was I wrong in asking? Was it the right time to ask? He was more worried about we need to meet up and talk more then anything..and are we through this time? He will not respond to anything. I said sorry..so many times if he feels I was wrong..then I asked was he just playing me? Why the head games..he was not honest with me??_but no response..I just asked one simple fraze do you trust me? I did not know that would trigger him off into thinking I was fussing at all.. I don't know *SIGH* I do
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 145 · Topics: 10
I don't know how and if we can ever love each other..are we done? I asked him in a txt did he want me to just leave him alone and stop txting him..no response. He is not going to come back at all? Or should I just throw up the duces and keep it moving..I love him..and when we are together..so much chemistry..we laugh..kiss..and ever since he admited to loving me...things are more intense...or am I just the stand by...and he has someone eles...
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tashawntsb
@tashawntsb
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 6 · Topics: 1
I've been dealing with an aqua for a year now and have studied him pretty damn hard. This is him also to a tee. I've learned through the year that they handle situations totally different than the average person. They tend to crawl in their shell and deal with problems alone or with people that are REALLY close to them.....like friends and family. When he told you that he was sick and had lost a close friend...that was your cue to not come with no bullshit..sorry for being so blunt. But it wasn't the right time to discuss if he trust you. I've learned pretty hard and have fallen on my butt few times to know when to discuss things and when to back off. I'm impatient and like to discuss things when I want to discuss them. When dealing with an aqua...patience is the key to everything. Of course, when you say that you want to talk to them about something, they're going to want to know at that time because they are nosey as hell. When my aqua guy gets mad at me, it's pretty easy for me to ease my way back in with him. I know how to push his buttons....good and bad.

Back off for a few days. Can you remember something funny that you both did together? That both of you laughed until you almost pee'd in your pants? Well in a few days text him and say do you remember when......it will break the ice. if he responds back he cares and will let the arguement past. It works all the time with my guy. Just remember, that aqua's hate confrontation and arguements. They want to associate their partner with a pleasant and happy feeling. If he doesn't feel happy and content when talking to you then it's a done deal but you still have to be mysterious too.

Hope this helps
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 145 · Topics: 10
Posted by tashawntsb
I've been dealing with an aqua for a year now and have studied him pretty damn hard. This is him also to a tee. I've learned through the year that they handle situations totally different than the average person. They tend to crawl in their shell and deal with problems alone or with people that are REALLY close to them.....like friends and family. When he told you that he was sick and had lost a close friend...that was your cue to not come with no bullshit..sorry for being so blunt. But it wasn't the right time to discuss if he trust you. I've learned pretty hard and have fallen on my butt few times to know when to discuss things and when to back off. I'm impatient and like to discuss things when I want to discuss them. When dealing with an aqua...patience is the key to everything. Of course, when you say that you want to talk to them about something, they're going to want to know at that time because they are nosey as hell. When my aqua guy gets mad at me, it's pretty easy for me to ease my way back in with him. I know how to push his buttons....good and bad.

Back off for a few days. Can you remember something funny that you both did together? That both of you laughed until you almost pee'd in your pants? Well in a few days text him and say do you remember when......it will break the ice. if he responds back he cares and will let the arguement past. It works all the time with my guy. Just remember, that aqua's hate confrontation and arguements. They want to associate their partner with a pleasant and happy feeling. If he doesn't feel happy and content when talking to you then it's a done deal but you still have to be mysterious too.

Hope this helps



It is just very hard..I don't understand..then again..mabye it is what I am seeing..he wants me when he wants me..talks to me when he wants..I just feel like a pawn..I reached out to him..been there..but I am just not the circle he wants me to be in..and the hard part is the feelings..but thanks so much. One thing I learn..never put the ball in the man's court...that is on you..I am just going to mabye stand down...I thought if a mans loves you..he would show it instead of saying it...I don't believe a sign has anothing to with being a man or woman..but we will see.
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tashawntsb
@tashawntsb
14 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 6 · Topics: 1
I do think that aquas do have a hard time showing emotions but with them I've learned that sometimes you have to read in between the lines. I've never dealt with a man like my aqua before and he definitely keeps my attention which is why I love him so much. I'm a gemini and I tend to get bored easily but it's been a year and I'm still fascinated with him.

All the things that people hate about aquas I absolutely love about them.
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Mistery
@Mistery
18 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 995 · Topics: 34
Quote: "He said I just love (typo here? Should it be lost?)my f*** friend whom I loved dearly and you come with this F*** convo? You always make things about you..and your argumentive and confrontational.. And you ask me do I trust you?? I told him that is why I said it was not of importance now??_.I have apologized..tried to reach out for a week and a half..no response..I wanted to know was I wrong in asking?" END Quote.

After two years and him saying I love you, you expected a certain level of intimacy. He had the worst two frickin weeks of his life and it slipped his mind to talk to a woman who he supposedly loves? Hmmm... Just leave you out of the experience. How long was he gong to wait to tell you? A few months and then clue in the gf? That always works great. Really deepens the intimacy. *eye roll* And he's not 'protecting' you from his crap. He's not being noble. A real relationship means you share each other's crap. However, I do see why he said those things as you phrased it focusing on your insecurity rather than getting mad at him for not telling you what happened and not allowing you to be there for him.

So now you got to figure out if this is your ideal relationship. How long are you willing to work on it? These are questions you ask yourself, not him.
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 145 · Topics: 10
Posted by Mistery
Quote: "He said I just love (typo here? Should it be lost?)my f*** friend whom I loved dearly and you come with this F*** convo? You always make things about you..and your argumentive and confrontational.. And you ask me do I trust you?? I told him that is why I said it was not of importance now??_.I have apologized..tried to reach out for a week and a half..no response..I wanted to know was I wrong in asking?" END Quote.

After two years and him saying I love you, you expected a certain level of intimacy. He had the worst two frickin weeks of his life and it slipped his mind to talk to a woman who he supposedly loves? Hmmm... Just leave you out of the experience. How long was he gong to wait to tell you? A few months and then clue in the gf? That always works great. Really deepens the intimacy. *eye roll* And he's not 'protecting' you from his crap. He's not being noble. A real relationship means you share each other's crap. However, I do see why he said those things as you phrased it focusing on your insecurity rather than getting mad at him for not telling you what happened and not allowing you to be there for him.

So now you got to figure out if this is your ideal relationship. How long are you willing to work on it? These are questions you ask yourself, not him.

That is why I was just so beside myself. I was just asking him does he trust me for that reason. I talked to an older Aqua about it..and my behavor and he said don't lump us in one group because of one Aqua. I always sat on the side. I never pressured him...I try and reach out to him..and we just..don't talk and I dont understand. Now when he wants some....we talk..but other then that..I just feel lost with him.It is like when we do talk..he gets deep then pulls away. It is alot of work..but I just don't think it is me that he wants in his corner. he seems to point out all my faults as much as he can...but I love him..what I see past..the man he is..not what he is trying to be now..or mabye this is who he is...
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Aquaguy7
@Aquaguy7
16 YearsAquarius

Comments: 0 · Posts: 265 · Topics: 3
I agree with Misty.

It's very sad that he lost his friend — of course it is. But he didn't even contact you the week before when he was ill. It surely cannot be that hard to grab your phone and text someone —even when you are ill. I mean for crying out loud — I and many others manage to haul our arses out of bed and go to work when we??re incredibly ill and drained. And we all manage to do that — and still call people and text them. So that excuse just never cuts it with me.

He should??ve text you at least. I'm slightly baffled by his behaviour — because really you??re his girlfriend and he told you that he loved you. You could have been there for him had he told you that his friend had died. You could have comforted him. Instead, he's just lashed out — and yes, maybe you did push it too far with the questions — but from what I could see you did tell him that you didn't need to know right this second — and you were clearly allowing him some time and space.

No relationship is perfect but really communication is so important — and the fact that it has been up and down really isn't good. But, that is something that you can work on, for sure.
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 145 · Topics: 10
Posted by katie2333
Posted by Aquaguy7
I agree with Misty.

No relationship is perfect but really communication is so important — and the fact that it has been up and down really isn't good. But, that is something that you can work on, for sure.



yeah definitely. this guy is being kind of immature and inconsiderate but yeah i dont know...it's odd. Unless you live with him or he's with you ALL the time, he'll obviously tell you. But if he lives far away or doesn't live close, and he's busy with so many things, many things will conveniently slip his mind. The only solution? Move in with him!! then you can monitor him 24/7.
click to expand




He told me when we first met..he had a problem with communication..him and his daughter..smh..and that he was very emotional..I was like..ya right..*thinking him..being in his 40's* but our "Relationship" was a very toxic one..the more I been thinking about it..he is still not talking to me..I said sorry and everything eles..I am just shocked how could someone say they love you..and cut it off like that? I wonder does he even think about it..SMH.
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 145 · Topics: 10
Posted by Aquaguy7
I agree with Misty.

It's very sad that he lost his friend — of course it is. But he didn't even contact you the week before when he was ill. It surely cannot be that hard to grab your phone and text someone —even when you are ill. I mean for crying out loud — I and many others manage to haul our arses out of bed and go to work when we??re incredibly ill and drained. And we all manage to do that — and still call people and text them. So that excuse just never cuts it with me.

He should??ve text you at least. I'm slightly baffled by his behaviour — because really you??re his girlfriend and he told you that he loved you. You could have been there for him had he told you that his friend had died. You could have comforted him. Instead, he's just lashed out — and yes, maybe you did push it too far with the questions — but from what I could see you did tell him that you didn't need to know right this second — and you were clearly allowing him some time and space.

No relationship is perfect but really communication is so important — and the fact that it has been up and down really isn't good. But, that is something that you can work on, for sure.



@He should??ve text you at least. I'm slightly baffled by his behaviour — because really you??re his girlfriend and he told you that he loved you. You could have been there for him had he told you that his friend had died. You could have comforted him.

Thus why I asked him DID HE TRUST ME...I mean..we been through some S** together..some that could have cost him his job..mine..and I always spoke into his life..always said things to up lift him..when he did not have money for his daughter to go to class...I came up with 400.00 right there, When he forgot to have someone work at our building..I did that so he did not get in trouble, When he was stressed out trying to find people to cover things..I did it..that is why I don't understand why he can't see by my actions I am for him..SMH
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LonLon
@LonLon
15 Years

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Well,
Up date??_he FINALY talked to me after a whole month through text..what got him to talk? The fact that I mentions I was going back to dating. HE got VERY pissed off..and said I was weak because I started dating after a month? I said I had not heard from you and I kept reaching out nothing so I though you did not want to talk with me.
You never responded if you wanted me to stop talking to you so we went back and forth in convo He told me some very Hard things. He told me I was F*** in the head and emotions from my past but you stopped talking to me though—
Then he proceeds to tell me I never loved him *because I went on a date* and that he can't be with me anymore. We talked more and now this went on for 3 hours.
I said if you did not love me would have been gone he said a while back he did walk away but came back to see if it was worth the time and investment. He said he felt stupid for trying. But he talks so damn hard to me all the time. We go back an fourth and he wants to do a one last time. But right now just by the convo and some things he said??_.I view him very very different.
It really made me look at relationships as a whole and how we perceive them. How much pressure we put on it. How at time we date the wrong people and get so hurt because we stayed in it. I did not realize I was still damaged..and may need to sit back and heal. As for him I wonder was I loving the IDIEA of him or really him? The one thing that struck me..was when he said If I was a woman beater and the way we argued I would have f*** You UP.. I mean..I was like..really? To myself..and it made me just..I don't know..what is his problem? I understand mine and you CANT tell him where he is messed up at. And the he txt I want to see you. What are you doing after work? Lets get a room an spend some time. I am just beside myself. HE kept throwing up how weak I was to date after a month. He was more mad at that then what he was made at me in the first place for!

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nakae
@nakae
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 51 · Topics: 7
I'd think twice about continuing this relationship...maybe three times. There are major red flags everywhere and it sounds like you're more hurt by his inconsistencies than by the fact that he said if he were a women beater blah blah!!

Dunno, but I don't know too many Aqua's that are so jealous they'd come hunting you down after going on one date. Especially, given that there was absolutely no contact on his part. No mention of a relationship. Just a vague I love you. Sounds more like a guy trying to piss on his territory.

We're a pretty fun-loving, bunch. I know especially for me jealousy is a complete turn off in others and even more so from myself. Sounds more like a guy who doens't know how to communicate openly about positive things (progression of relationship) but being able to be speak openly negatively (continuous name calling). The whole thing just reeks of a typical commitment phobic ass-clown. You deserve better, and should listen to what your intuition is already telling you...don't walk, run!

For the record, this doesn't sound like an Aqua issue, but a self-obsessed jerk issue.

Just my 2cents