Looking for Lawgoddess

Dear LG,

I was going back to the previous posts and found one where you had replied how you had met your Aqua husband and have been married for 4-5yrs. (sorry, I forgot 😢 ) Did you meet him while he was married? The reason that I am asking this is....I have met an Aqua male friend and he means the world to me. We get along great...the time passes so quickly when we are together. I know he cares for me deeply but because he is married, I have not totally opened myself up to him and I told him this. He has asked me a couple of times if I would marry him and it scares the living daylights out of me! He says he just knows...he will wait even if it is 5 yrs. from now. Okay, I was born at night but it wasn't last night......I am wondering if some of the things that he says are just words...he is a "thinker" and I am a "feeler". He has told me that no other man will ever care for me the way he does. I must say that I have never had a man be so forth right with me. I can say anything to him...it is just "comfy" between us. Sort of like I have known him before, feeling. Now, I suppose you are wondering about his marriage. It has not been good for a very long time. They do not connect. This whole getting involved with a "married" guy is not so my thing! I said I would never do this...he says, "never say never" He said he would never do anything like this either and it is so confusing to him. He does not know why I am in his life and why he cannot get me off of his mind. What sometimes bothers me is the fact that I am a very open person but I am not allowing myself to open to him because of his situation and this is not healthy for me......HELP! right now, we have decided to breakaway from each other.....this is hard..feels like I have lost my best friend. Sorry for the ramblin on and on here.....I needed to get this out and hopefully you can shed some type of inspiration on the whole picture for me....or anyone. Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts with me.

Freebird

Freebird, I have just only come across this post. Sorry I didn't see it sooner. To answer your question, no, my husband wasn't married when we met, BUT he was involved at least emotionally and sometimes physically (they lived in different provinces) with a woman. Your story sounds awfully familiar. All I can say is that when hubby and I met, he said he KNEW I was the 'exception' (his term, meaning 'the one above all others'). He actually visited with his ex lady friend (at her request) before we even met IRL and turned down her marriage proposal. She knew there was someone else invloved, and he told her so, and that we hadn't met yet, but that he is putting all his faith into this (or some such crap..lol). So, I guess in regards to your situation....generally speaking, Aquarians never say anything that they don't feel (who even knew they HAD feelings...lol). I would suggest he is being honest with you. But that is today..who knows how he will feel next week (once he thinks he has figured you out he will lose interest). And the 'reason' he is still interested is B/C you are not completely open to him! Can't stress that enough. You are another mystery he hasn't quite solved yet. (nothing personal...just the aqua trait). My advice, for what it's worth, work out your OWN feelings first, and whether you can see a permanent relationship here..b/c IF you both do marry, in HIS mind, this time it will be for life (I am assuming he married young and is alot older now). Aqua's generally marry late in life FOR life..so you will be his partner forever. Work out what YOU want out of this, and if the answer is YES, then do not open up to him completely. Throw emotion his way (they love to be the shoulder to cry on and see their partners in a vulnerable state)..but don't give all away. Also, don't commit to anything until he has legally separated from his wife, otherwise you could get burned...make that clear to him. I know this sounds so calculating and manipulative. But I assure you, all Aquarians are 'captured' this way, whether the ppl involved are aware of it or not. In this case, you have insight...nothing wrong with that. As for his statement that no one will ever care for you the way he does...newsflash..lol..once you are together and all mysteries solved, he will not be terribly attentive, and as frustrating and confusing as this may be to you, he will think everything is hunky dory. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule. Above everything though, trust your intuition..it won't lead you astray. Only YOU know the true situation here. Good luck and hope everything works out for you, whichever way it goes. :-)

Dear Lawgoddess,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my question. I appreciate your openess in explaining the Aqua man. You have given me some thoughts to ponder. You are correct in this situation as well as any that the best possible result is......follow MY intuition. So far, so good. What I have noticed or "think" that I have noticed is his lack or perception of intimacy. He can be somewhat distant and I have a feeling that is just part of who he is. Intimacy is very important to me as I am in such a place in my life that I want and desire to "feel" life. I know, time will tell and what I have learned is to just go with the flow and all will be as it should be.
Again, I thank you! 🙂

Hoping all is well with you and your "aqua~velvet" man.....

Freebird