Need advice on my Aqua Girl

Dated her a year and 6 months. So many arguments later, she was pregnant, abortion followed (not forced,mutually decided). My mistake was i wasnt there when she went through painful abortion pill aftermath (couple days). She was very hurt and i apologized for my mistake of not being there. We had a small argument after a week later and after that it went downhill with her. I showed up to her door and she didnt even want me to step in and wanted space! Something i have never seen her do. My gut feeling was telling me its over and she cant face to say goodbye. It has now been a month since i have contacted nor she has contacted me. I feel horrible of what happened. I dont know what to do. I want to contact her but i dont want to be emotionally fcked if shes cold as ice. I dont know if i should text her, call her, or walk to her door and have a talk. At this point im all ears.

Heres my natal chart:

Zodiac : Tropical Placidus Orb : 0

Sun Scorpio 14°41' Ascendant Scorpio 6°19'

Moon Aquarius 21°14' II Sagittarius 5°05'

Mercury Scorpio 12°27' III Capricorn 8°03'

Venus Capricorn 1°44' IV Aquarius 13°21'

Mars Scorpio 1°57' V Pisces 16°15'

Jupiter Cancer 10°44' R VI Aries 13°50'

Saturn Capricorn 9°49' VII Taurus 6°19'

Uranus Capricorn 2°43' VIII Gemini 5°05'

Neptune Capricorn 10°13' IX Cancer 8°03'

Pluto Scorpio 15°07' Midheaven Leo 13°21'

Lilith Scorpio 0°20' XI Virgo 16°15'

Asc node Aquarius 21°38' XII Libra 13°50'



HER natal chart:

Zodiac : Tropical Placidus Orb : 0

Sun Aquarius 19°48' Ascendant Leo 23°58'

Moon Sagittarius 16°57' II Virgo 18°05'

Mercury Aquarius 4°52' III Libra 16°45'

Venus Pisces 13°32' IV Scorpio 19°23'

Mars Gemini 5°34' V Sagittarius 23°10'

Jupiter Leo 7°07' R VI Capricorn 25°04'

Saturn Aquarius 0°16' VII Aquarius 23°58'

Uranus Capricorn 11°57' VIII Pisces 18°05'

Neptune Capricorn 15°33' IX Aries 16°45'

Pluto Scorpio 20°21' Midheaven Taurus 19°23'

Lilith Sagittarius 21°28' XI Gemini 23°10'

Asc node Capricorn 28°06' XII Cancer 25°04

' ... but i dont want to be emotionally fcked'



I'm not even trying to mean-- but the truth is that you owe her much better

than a *text*, at this point, and you don't deserve anything in return.



A handwritten letter (type-written, if you have terrible penmanship) with

nothing but an admission of your callous behavior, and failure to witness,

or even acknowledge the enormity of her taking the hit, for this.

It was a mistake you both made-- and you made her do the dirty work alone.



js

Please don't allow your ego to super cede you being there for her in the way you need to be. The fact that you let a month go by spoke volumes to her... So you showing up on her doorstep after letting a whole month pass means nothing. She doesn't trust you anymore. You'd have FULLY let down your walls and be transparent with her and you have some major explaining to do. Even then she may not accept you back in and you'd have to be ok with that given the circumstances... But if she's worth the try... Then try.

So you abandon her at the time she truly needs you. She had ample time to think while her body painfully expelled your child...time to reevaluate the kind of man you've shown yourself to be. She asked herself if she wanted to pursue a long term relationship with someone who leaves at the first sign of adversity. The answer is no.

Tbh I'd cut you loose as well.

what you did was cowardly. I don't think she should take you back. You can try though. Try very very hard. If you love her you're going to have to show her & give it all you've got. Good Luck!

Thank you everyone for the comments. I did try to go the abortion clinic, which she was going there with her mother on the day of and didnt know the location exactly. So the night before i left a lenghty message of how much i cared and how much i supported her decision. The next day i called 30 times and texted and left work to drive to the approx location area and she didnt answer or call me back after many hours later calling only to yell and scream at me. I already had enough of torment, because she had purposely ignored me for days before the abortion, i had to convince her mother to let me in to see her, only finding her hiding in the closet smoking cigarettes.. So yes i did try especially how she had anxiety and didnt like anyone around when she was nauseaus and told me to stay away.. But ofcourse, i did admit my mistake and told her, i had no excuse for not being there, when you went through hell, when i didnt even know what she was going through. I didnt know she was im sooo much pain.

Sorry to bore everyone. I think i will write a lengthy apologetic letter and include a picture of both of us, and leave it on her car windshield..

Posted by dracula
Thank you everyone for the comments. I did try to go the abortion clinic, which she was going there with her mother on the day of and didnt know the location exactly. So the night before i left a lenghty message of how much i cared and how much i supported her decision. The next day i called 30 times and texted and left work to drive to the approx location area and she didnt answer or call me back after many hours later calling only to yell and scream at me. I already had enough of torment, because she had purposely ignored me for days before the abortion, i had to convince her mother to let me in to see her, only finding her hiding in the closet smoking cigarettes.. So yes i did try especially how she had anxiety and didnt like anyone around when she was nauseaus and told me to stay away.. But ofcourse, i did admit my mistake and told her, i had no excuse for not being there, when you went through hell, when i didnt even know what she was going through. I didnt know she was im sooo much pain.

Sorry to bore everyone. I think i will write a lengthy apologetic letter and include a picture of both of us, and leave it on her car windshield..

Totally different spin than the OP.

Now, it seems, you're the Victim.... if not the Martyr.

And SHE is the callous one.



Which is it?

You are messed up dude.

You failed the test. You didn't step up when she got pregnant even though you both have been together for quite some time. Of course she's not going to be down for single motherhood. Then you don't even bother to show up? You couldn't take her?

Did you even bother to do a little research to figure out how to be a supportive partner? No, you just sent a text message like other people send "Get Well Soon" cards.

Jesus.

If an Aquarius doesn't contact you for a month it's over. Sorry that you two had to go through this...

Your tale doesn't make much sense. What exactly was your "crime"? Not assisting during the abortion? What with? Don't be ridiculous!

From what you told us here, it looks like mother and preggy daughter were upset with you or avoided you even before the abortion took place. If they were upset because she got pregnant, I understand. But why upset with YOU? Did you forced her to have sex without a condom? Did you rape her?

My impression is that she decided to abort because YOU didn't want the responsibility of a child.

There is no tale here. She wasnt ready for a child because she was working 75 hours a week and supporting her family. I didnt pressure her in anyway to get rid of the child. All i said we can have one again in the future.

UNDINE- why are you assuming stupid bullshit? forced? raped? are you fukn stupid, GTFO and dont say stupid shit like that. We loved each other, but we had horrible communication, constant arguments, but at the end of the day we were happy we had each other and we loved each other, period. We are both fixed signs prone to being horribly stubborn, something in which we couldnt change ourselves.

And for others who commented, thank you all for your responses!

You just didn't get what I was saying, did you?

Maybe it's over because you are not smart enough for her? Aquas have certain standards!

my aqua returned on her own, crying and asking forgiveness

Posted by dracula
my aqua returned on her own, crying and asking forgiveness

That's awesome ! Well not the crying part but that she still wants you just as much as you want her.

Hopefully you guys can forgive each other and move on from this heavy incident.

Good luck 🙂

Posted by happyface1

Posted by dracula
my aqua returned on her own, crying and asking forgiveness

That's awesome ! Well not the crying part but that she still wants you just as much as you want her.

Hopefully you guys can forgive each other and move on from this heavy incident.

Good luck 🙂

click to expand

thank you, we did forgive each other but i tell you 5 weeks not seeing your loved one is not fun!

Posted by Koniuchaa

Posted by dracula
my aqua returned on her own, crying and asking forgiveness

She wanted forgiveness? For what?

click to expand

the way she acted, like a crazy person and turning ice cold on me due to her hormonal imbalance, but then her anxiety messed her up even more, so she went ape on me.

Posted by ChoXtsy
Hopefully you can do better with support. That's important in a relationship.

very true! thank you

and she left..

Posted by dracula
and she left..

Don't put yourself through that...

Anyone that leaves and comes and go does not deserve you!

I think secretly she wanted to keep the baby.

Let me not be petty...

Posted by GypsyInChains
Let me not be petty...

Love your profile pic and general vibe —

Posted by dracula
and she left..

why?

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GypsyInChains
Let me not be petty...

Love your profile pic and general vibe —

click to expand

😄

I try, I try

I agree with DMV.. I think she wanted the child, she wanted you to say you want to keep it.. But she was afraid that might change things, and she saw you supporting her decision on abortion, than you werent very soportive when she needed you the most..

You screwd up.. Big! She left to deal with hormonal changes, with all that mood swings alone.. She spared you the trouble to go trough that.. You didnt understand.. She comes back... How suportive were you than? She appogized.. For her behaviour while on the tretman... And you did what?

Its better she left.. When you love someone, first you take responsibility for your actions, second you are there for that person 24/7.. Third, you try and understand that person.. Put yourself jn theor shoes...

You were worried she will hurt your feelings? She is cold? You never asked yourself why... Sorry, you dont love her, and you need to grow up..

I'm an aquarius girl and if a guy did that to me I wouldn't contact him even if I wanted to. You should definitely contact her, but actually call her and do something special for her.

What the fucking hell. Of course she fucking left. She wanted the child. She wanted you. She wanted you to want it too. So now she's left dying inside. You killed her. It'll never be the same again. Ever.

I have a bad feeling she is not only going through hormonal imbalance but also chemical imbalance. The aftermath of the pregnancy/abortion might of altered her hormones in different way. She is acting way off, crazy mood swings similiar to someone who is bipolar. As a therapist, these are signs of something serious, even if she doesnt see it, something is wrong with her.

Why she left?



Before she contacted me, she had quit her job. Although she had funds saved up, her business plans with her uncle failed (which she had been planning for a year), she was suppose to recieved funds from another source and that failed. Her family is getting evicted and she is the only one taking care of the bills and rent so she got overly stressed out..

The MAIN issue was the day she found out the funds arent coming in, days after she initially contacted me. She went ice cold on me. She told me she needed time alone to think, i respected that, but when she refused to see me days after, somthing was off. I offered to help her in many ways, but it wasnt getting through to her. She is acting way off, why? because before she would communicate anything that was bothering her, this time no communication and her business was only her business. Anyways, I gave her space to think as she wanted, 3 days later, I called her after having not contact, and went crazy on me and telling me im to freakn clingy (which i have never been and she knows this), she was acting crazy and when i offered to come over and help, she clicked the phone on me..

So she texted me this yesterday, after going blank on me for 8 days.

"I don't want another month to go by. Pls just understand I'm under so much stress right now. I don't wanna talk for hours about this either. But I don't want u to think I disappeared again. Just pls be understanding . I'm gonna go to sleep I'm really sick. But just wanted to text. Love u"

I havent responded to her yet

Ti je kar.