Pisces dude, wondering what should i do

I have this Aqua chick at my workplace. We've known each other for about a year, since she got hired there. We seem to be getting along pretty well. I find her attractive and like her way of being, and i'm pretty sure she finds me attractive and likes my way of being, because, well, she tells me 🙂. As a matter of fact she's the one that started it all. Because i could see some form of attraction in the way she looked at me pretty soon after meeting each other, and i tend to say she's kinda been the same up until this day. She compliments my looks sometimes - i don't remember her doing that to any of the other colleagues, she almost always invites me out for a smoke (again, she rarely does it with other guys there), and we stay and chat for some time. But we have some pretty heavy workloads, and i'm working from home for days at a time, so these moments are quite brief or far apart.

Now, me, on the other hand. As i said, i did fancy her ever since i first saw her. But i'm also in a pretty serious relationship with a girl in which i find no fault. So for the first few months i didn't give much mind to the Aqua chick. Sure, i felt flattered by her attention, but at the same time i was really convinced i do love my girlfriend and there's nothing anyone can do about it. But then one day it just happened. Some funny thing was in the air, i suppose, and i just saw the Aqua girl with different eyes. And she suddenly was very beautiful. And that's pretty much the feeling i have until this day. Thing is, she's in a pretty serious relationship as well, and there's a feeling that she's not really ready to leave it just yet. Hell, for all i know she could be full on committed to it. I try to skirt talks about our personal relationships, cause i don't want to go into confidant territory with her, so i'm not sure EXACTLY how she feels about her boyfriend.

So, know i'm pretty uncertain on how to go about it. I kinda hate myself for admitting this, but i am thinking about leaving my girlfriend (the one in which i find absolutely no fault) if there were a chance with this Aqua girl. Thing is that i'm not sure if her attention towards me is fueled by actual interest, or she's just being friendly and, you know, feeling like she's getting along with me, but nothing more. She does give the old hot and cold feeling every once in a while. Like this one time, a few months ago, while we were having our regular smoke, she just up and hugged me out of the blue, without saying anything, and when i asked her about it she just said she felt like it. Just that hug made me feel very happy, but for the next days or weeks afterwards, she was a bit more distant, and at times even ignoring me. That kinda hurt me, but i didn't show it, and after some time, everything was ok again - inviting each other outside for smokes, joking, flirting.

Thing is that i'm not sure how to take all this, and would like some enlightenment from some other Aquas, or from people who had dealings with them. Could there be SOMETHING there? Is it attraction or just careless and shallow flirting? Do you have any suggestion on how to try and find out without pushing the note? Until now i have been very careful in the way i react to her. I do try to keep it MOSTLY professional, but i don't hide the fact that i'm really enjoying her company.

How do Aqua women work— is basically what i'm asking. 🙂)

@aquarelle

Thanks for the detailed answer, Aquarelle.

Yes, I feel you're right about all you said. Probably what I would have thought as well, if I was detached about the whole thing, but having the veil of emotional involvement over my eyes, I'm not sure of anything anymore.

And yes, I'm pretty sure she's serious about the relationship, because they're living together, in the first place, and are planning to change apartments soon. From my past experience, a few of my relationships ended when changing apartments (for reasons unrelated to the move, of course, but moving was just the last drop that broke the already strained relationship). Maybe i'm just evily hoping something will break between them at that point too. Funny thing is that, even though I tried to avoid all talks about her relationship, she did ask me about mine a couple of times, so I guess that could have been a bit of probing on her part. But I waved them off pretty quick.

As for my current relationship, the best way to describe it is - she's the girl of my dreams except the attraction part. Even though she's good looking, I've never really felt sexually attracted to her, but I decided upon staying in the relationship because besides that, we get along so well, and she's everything I look for in a girlfriend. I also feel that this is a more peaceful and confortabile relationship than I would have with the Aqua chick, but that one has the advantage of the emotional feeling of attraction, while the curent one only has the rational realization of compatibility. It's really important to be with someone you're perfectly compatible with, but I do have the frustration of something missing.

So yeah, what I will probably do is keep playing the waiting game, and see if an opportunity presents itself. Funny thing is that in the past I kept waiting for an opportunity for us to end up alone at the office after hours. I was sure that something WILL definitely happen then. And... the occasion presented itself.. and...nothing happened. Last week we both had to do some overtime, and we were alone until about 10 in the evening, which is an extremely rare occurrence. And nothing happened.. . There WAS a certain intimacy in our conversation, fueled by the quietness in the office and the late hour, I guess, but we both had such a shitload of work to do, we didn't have have much time to spend together. And after she was done, she just went home. No "want me to hang around for a while, until you finish your work?" or an "it's been nice staying with you until now". Just a simple "take care, good night", and home she went.

Of course, she, being in a committed relationship, doesn't have many options, probably. And she did say at one point that she's pretty old fashioned in that she hates cheating, and would never ever do that (which is a belief I share and respect). So yeah, I guess all that remains for me do do is play the wating game 🙂

Posted by Aquarelle

Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Aqua form friendships steadily and it’s important af that an aqua women be mates with any potential suitor.

This is where guys trip and think they’re “in”

Amazing.

You just said it all in 2 sentences.

Wow.

click to expand

Can someone please translate these 2 very relevant sentences? maybe the curtness of the answer got me a bit confused on what it means.

I'm glad i actually helped, Aquarelle. That's why i'm writing such long winded posts. Besides the therapeutic value for me, i would be happy if someone read them and found them familiar with what they're going through, or helpful, as i've been helped other times when i stumbled upon a story similar to mine on some forum. So your story with the Pisces didn't end well, i reckon?

@Piscesfuckup, i'm thinking the exact thing you are thinking. Just because i've posted something here, doesn't mean it's my ONLY perspective on the matter. I just filtered out the facts most relevant to the question. My current relationship is amazing on many levels and i would not throw it away so easily. But there IS the fact that some corruption got in, in the form of my feelings for the girl at my workplace. Right now i'm pretty torn about it, and i'm posting here in the hope of making at least some sense of everything.

As i said, i fear a relationship with the Aqua girl, despite being much more attraction based, would not be as harmonious as my current one.



But i'm not leaving my girlfriend hanging while i go out fantasizing about other women. It's just that at this level, i think i would just ruin this relationship if i say anything to my girlfriend. And the low sexual attraction thing is known between us. We accepted it because we realized there are so many more things we have in common, and in our dating life we found out that sexual attraction is much easier to find than perfect understanding and spiritual harmony. So we decided it is a small compromise, and the future brings what the future brings.

Also, @Aquarelle, if you're willing to share, i'd be happy to hear the story with "your" Pisces guy. For no other reason than that it could have the same healing quality you've talked about 🙂