Question for Aquarian Women

Hello I am new here, I thought I would sign up because I really need some help and advice right now. Any advice/help from anyone would be greatly appreciated I just want to also get the perspective of an Aquarian woman. First off, I am a Taurus and I went out with this Aquarian girl for nearly 3 years. We broke up back in February, we were a kind of up and down relationship. When things were great, wow everything was at its absolute best! Everything seemed perfect and we were both so happy. Everything I ever wanted in someone was in her, I finally had my dream girl so to speak. We did a lot for each other, talked everyday, we knew when to be mature and when to be goof balls. Sex didn't happen all the time but whenever it did it was amazing! Everything seemed to go right when we were happy. When we would get upset or argue though, things wouldn't be so great. We are both stubborn people so of course we would always want to have the last word. I know that a Taurus and an Aquarius isn't exactly a great match according to horoscopes, but if we can both find a balance, it can be a great relationship for both sides. So to start off, the first half of our relationship I was the one deeply in love with this girl and she was more conserved with her feelings. She broke up with me a couple times and it hurt a lot, one time she broke up with me and I was completely done, not long after she came back and pleaded me to take her back. In the end I did, after that the second half of our relationship was the other way around, she was deeply in love with me and now I was more conserved. I guess I held a grudge and had a wall up. I really started taking her for granted which I deeply regret now. When we would argue things would get worse because I was so cold and harsh toward her. I would say some really mean things and would ignore her calls and texts when she needed me the most. Near the end, I noticed she wouldn't be as happy, I told her if she's not happy she should leave me. She did, and at first it was mutual. After a couple days I really started feeling something inside of me, something telling me this wasn't right, I texted her and met up with her telling her I didn't want this, I wanted her back. She said it was over. For months I tried getting her back, she always said no. So I wrote her a long letter telling her how sorry I was, telling her I just want her to be happy whether with me or without me. I told her I would disappear from her life, to make it easier for

Her. I knew I made it tough on her, I kept begging for her to come back, now she was cold and ruthless. I gave her the letter back in August, I moved on and everything seemed better. I talked to other girls and I guess I was happy. Then about a month ago I start dreaming about her again, for a week straight I dreamed about her every single night. I started thinking about her. Then to make things worse we see each other at the mall, she said hi and I didn't know how to react. I ignored her I guess, I talked to her mom though and she seemed real happy to see me. As they were leaving I told her mom bye as I gave her a huge hug. My ex said bye, and again I ignored her. Not to be rude, but because I always hated saying bye to her. For weeks I thought about her again, I missed her. I talk to a friend and he tells me she got with someone not long ago, but it didn't even last a month. I guess she told my friend that the guy got too boring really quick. It hurt knowing she was with someone else, but I did the same with multiple girls. The week after Thanksgiving I call her, and we actually talked on the phone for about an hour and a half. It didn't seem awkward, we talked as if everything was normal. Asked about our families, work, life, etc. Before we got off the phone I told her we should meet up sometime, she agreed. Two nights after that she added me on Facebook, which was strange to me because she deleted me and my whole family after the break up. I accepted, we texted two days after that. Then the day after, Saturday, I asked her out to get coffee or something for Sunday. She said she would see because she wasn't feeling too well. So Sunday comes and she says she couldn't because she made plans with an old friend of hers that she hadn't seen in a long while. I said no problem so she said how about Wednesday? I said that's fine and left it at that. Later that night she randomly texts me saying if she can ask me something. I said sure. She asked if she had gotten my hopes up because she doesn't want to give me false hope. I said no. She said she wanted to be friends but that she felt as if she didn't deserve my friendship because of how she treated me after the breakup. I said we all get things we don't deserve sometimes, so why would this be any different? Then kind of left it at that. We met up on Wednesday and went to dinner, everything went good. We talked, caught up on stuff, just had a good time. Nothing bad was brought up. After that we got hot chocolate

And walked around the mall. It went great. So we didn't talk anymore until the following Sunday which was this past Sunday. She texted me in the morning asking if I had plans for that day after work, I said no. She said she wanted to take a chance by asking me to go to Disneyland with her since our passes were about to expire. She said she didn't know if I would say yes or not or if I even wanted to hang out with her. I couldn't believe it, of course I wanted to. So I said yes. It came as a shock, we went there so many times together when we were together. I picked her up, we went and had a real great time. The most fun I have had, I was happy. That day I made her laugh so much, it felt great to see those smiles on her face, and to hear her laugh, especially because I was the reason. I dropped her off and she thanked me saying she had a lot of fun. I did the same. We haven't talked since. I'm just lost because I don't know what to do, whether this will lead somewhere or it will stay as "Just friends". I'm sure she knows I want more than that, I have told her mom that, and I'm sure she told my ex that. I hung out with her twice in less than a week, she told her mom about both times so I know she knows I don't want to be just friends. I know I screwed up big before, I am 22 and she is 20 turning 21 next month. I was completely dumb, I took her for granted and held a grudge. I have gone through so much pain since she left, and rightfully so. I have learned so much since then, I am much more humble now than ever. I am a completely different person for the better. I want to take things slow with her to show her, but I need advice on how I should go on about this. I would do anything to get her back, everything in my power just to show her that the past is the past and we can start fresh. I woukd sacrifice blood sweat and tears for her. Before I cared about only me, all before her or us. If I was happy I didn't care about anything else. I was a completely selfish and arrogant prick! Now I wanna do everything right by her. Please help, any advice will be greatly appreciated. I hope to get some great feedback real soon, thank you to all in advance.
PS. Sorry for the long read.

I'd say the fact she wants to be friends with and has done a lot of the initiating is a very positive sign!
But I am a guy so...... Take it with a grain of salt.... I am Aquarius though and I we want to spend any of our time with you that auto makes you a very special person to us....
As a safety for you I would not attach any emotions to a certain outcome as a lady who gives decent advice always says....
However, I'd say things look positive and as long as your not interested in anyone else just take your time with it.... Be caring.... Be there for her... Let her know you care man... What else can you do right now and what more can she honestly ask for?

Thank you both for your feedback it really does mean a lot to me. What should my next step be? She asked me out last time, should I text her maybe? Ask her out to the movies, bowling, etc.? I agree that me pressuring her to get with me pushed her away faster than anything, and I also agree with the first response that just show that I care and that I'm here for her. I know I have to start from scratch again if I want or have any shot of being with her again. So in both of your opinions, how should I go about things right now? What should be the next move?

Do whatever you would have done when you were just her friend.
Treat her as a friend thing.... Being friends is not that bad a thing anyways right?
For all you know she might really be wanting to see what it was she found so appealing about you in the first place after how you have been for so long now. I think the best thing for you to do is really make it a friendship in your mind.... Like ingrain that in hour mind so you do not get over anxious or do anything unnecessary. In all truth the person you love or want to be with the rest of your life should be your best friend... We always get bashed for treating our significant others as friends but ... That's what you want if a relationship is going to have staying power and last.... just everyone a lot of times is more worried about the here and now bla bla. Just be her best friend... And sure text her if you want... Be yourself don't worry about the outcome... Don't try to approach this like a game or that there is some method you have to follow to get her back... Think about it... You have her in the palm of your hands man... She wants to hang out with you?... And not with a group of people but in a exclusive setting where it is just the two of you... Remember first and foremost she is a great friend and if for whatever reason it does not work out... Don't let it make you bitter. At the end of the day after you've been pissed off about it for weeks, months, years you will think back and see that it would have been nice to at least have still kept this friendship you both have had for so long.

Remember to keep in mind you are both fixed signs so stubbornness is going to come with the territory and no sign is more stubborn than yours.... I think you can agree with me that you are in the very situation you are in because of your stubbornness that is so infamous of the bull sign.
Try to be the bigger person and not let little petty things rub you wrong... She obviously still cares about you and wants you in her life... Don't let that stubbornness get the best of you because between the two of you ...you have enough stubbornness to last two lifetimes for most people...
Just be yourself man.. Be the guy she fell in love with and don't worry about the outcome... Don't worry about should I do this or do that... ONLY thing I would say is don't pressure her and have patience... seriously because your going to need a lot ....especially if things never end up going your way.

Indeed, two stubborn fixed sun signs, or cardinal suns (both modes are stubborn and wants to lead)
if she has feelings for you, she'll always make room for you in her life, especially if she sees a future for you both.

oh it helps if she or yourself have mutuble in your charts. BUT even if there's more fixed/cardinal, that's okay too. what's important is that those elements coincide well. (don't know how far in astrology you are)
but go ahead and check out:
http://www.astrotheme.com/astrological_elements_fire_air_earth_water.php<BR>

All of that does indeed make sense NotYourAverageAquarius. I understand that I have to just be me, that is what I have been told by multiple people before. It's just sometimes I really overthink things when I guess I really shouldn't. You are completely correct though, my stubborness did indeed put me in this position that I am in now. I guess only question I really have is when should I text her again? Of course I want to talk to her, but at the same time I don't want it to be like I am smothering her as well. Should there be a certain amount of time I should let pass in your opinion or not? I have learned so much through my mistakes which is why I prefer to take it slow when it comes to contacting her and stuff. Do you really think I have her in the palm of my hand though? I'd like to hope so lol Lisabethur8, thank you for your opinion as well. I guess in a way her making time for me a couple times already does make me a special person to her.

Well I'm just saying it would seem to me you do have her in the palm of your hand... She is the one initiating all the stuff you do and it's just stuff where its you and her...— I suppose saying you have her in the palm of your hand would be assuming a lot... because maybe she is just doing what she is doing as I said to see if she still wants that and that is why she says she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea... and I have no doubt that she probably means just that!

So shock her and keep it just that man! I would only advise avoiding to text her if she does not openly act warm to your texts... If she is responsive and you have something meaningful to say or you want to make plans to do something else... why not?? Your worrying way to much about what will happen... just let the idea of you two ever really being together go... even though that is what you want... just assume it will never be and go with the flow.

You want a more direct answer about texting her?? Do it because that's what you want to do man... lol

If she doesn't respond right away or at all... forget about her I know it sounds extreme but that is the only way to handle this situation. The only reason I would text her more after the first text is if I got some vibe from her that she was still interested or still wanted to talk to me. You seem to be putting a lot of weight on this one single text. Go ahead and do it and treat it like it's either the beginning of a new friendship that could go somewhere or it's the end and leave it like that in your mind. period. Don't let her bog you down even if you were wrong man... you can't change the way she feels by what you say... in a text... Trust me I have been there man I really have and in my humble opinion if it's meant to be she is gonna answer it or come back to you... You need to think of it as you are wasting time overthinking this topic when you could be doing more constructive things with your life.
I worked hard to get back a girl for over a year dude... and guess what even though I got her back I'm not with her anymore... do you think that one year I spent doing that was worth my time?? I suppose I learned a lot but that's probably about it.

Posted by HeartbrokenT
All of that does indeed make sense NotYourAverageAquarius. I understand that I have to just be me, that is what I have been told by multiple people before. It's just sometimes I really overthink things when I guess I really shouldn't. You are completely correct though, my stubborness did indeed put me in this position that I am in now. I guess only question I really have is when should I text her again? Of course I want to talk to her, but at the same time I don't want it to be like I am smothering her as well. Should there be a certain amount of time I should let pass in your opinion or not? I have learned so much through my mistakes which is why I prefer to take it slow when it comes to contacting her and stuff. Do you really think I have her in the palm of my hand though? I'd like to hope so lol Lisabethur8, thank you for your opinion as well. I guess in a way her making time for me a couple times already does make me a special person to her.

Lol Taking it slowww? that's like telling aquas to take it to the future. 😛 jus'having fun.

& you're welcome. 🙂 don't know about the palm in your hand thing, but remember, you're in control 🙂
I meant that as tongue and cheek, not really meaning you gotta control her... 😛

You two are both right. I know she will respond if I text her, it's not about whether or not she will reply but rather how she will reply if I invite her somewhere. I should just go with the flow though, like I said I overthink things like crazy most of the time. I'll text her one of these days and invite her to go out to bowling or movies or something. I understand what you mean by "Palm of your hand" now though, maybe she told me she doesn't want to give me false hope because she wants to be friends just to see if we can really make it work, or if she can get those feelings back, etc. I just tried to have fun with her these past two times to show her that we can still have a great time together, to show her that what happen in the past is in the past, we can start fresh if we really wanted to.

sorry i gotta put this in 😛

cause the "control" thing made me lol

reminded me of this film and the part clip:

I have an aqua friend going through what you are going through.

Good news here is through being just friends again they did end up back together but do you want to know the bad news? She still doesn't trust him and it was only because it felt safe for her for now.

I totally get the overthinking part I do it all the time so I can only advise you to seriously remove your time and thinking from her. As hard it is just view her as a friend, enjoy your life and just have fun when you guys see each other. If it's not your style like NotYourAverageAquarius said just do what you feel. Text her, ask her about what's happening etc but I warn you now it usually makes Aquas run further when they're not sure.

Like NotYourAverageAquarius I spent a year even close to 2 trying to win back someone. I don't regret the times now because I truly believed I loved her but I also believed she loved me back. Similarly yes we ended up back together for a brief period of time but I'm not with her anymore.

Well something unexpected happened, today she actually texted me a random text. She just put something she always says, her little catchphrase so to speak lol I did the same when I replied. Then she said just thought I'd send a random text because if I don't text you I don't hear from you. So I'm guessing this is all good right? We have been texting throughout the day, she told me how her day at work was and everything. Btw aquasnoz thank you, I know I shouldn't overthink, I've tried to stay busy. I'm trying to be smart this time, I'm picking and choosing my spots this time around. I don't want to push her away again. All of this must be positive I suppose, am I right?

To be completely honest, being only friends is pretty difficult when you want more than being just friends. I wonder if I have a chance to getting her back.

There you go worrying are just lonely? If you are tell her you just want someone to talk to BUT if its that you want the relationship to be defined or you don't want it to just be friends while it seems compelling to you in your mind you risk if all man.... At least if you stay patient and wait you will have some to talk to when you feel lonely... I tried forcing the issue before and it rarely if ever works..... I mean if you passing up prospect partners you feel and you don't want to wait man that's a sign you probably should stop waiting... Stop thinking about her all the time keep yourself busy and just be patient... It's not like you or her are gonna did tomorrow.... Only do what you want to do when you are ready to be on your own and there is someone else your passing up for her... But if you never feel this way just try to find joy in the friendship man... I'll be honest I think your not going to heed my words which is fine... I just hope it works man I would hate to see it backfire on you I've had it happen to me before and it is one of the worst feelings ever.

Excuse the crammed last message was from an iphone

It's not that I'm lonely, I just want her to give me anither chance. It's all in my head I know. It's just when we text now yes it's good but it's just so different from how we used to text before when we were together. I know that of course it'll be different but I just miss those days. Sometimes I wish I would have learned my lesson before she left, then I wouldn't be thinking about whether she will come back or not.

Sorry I didnt read all of your post but as an aqua I typically want to be friends with ex's. Sometimes its so they can see that I no longer have a twinkle in my eye for them, I no longer speak to them as sweetly, I no longer hug them with passion.

Hey for me a friend is a friend is a friend.

A lover is something entirely different.

Jus saying.

Thank you all for the replies. One thing that happened this past week kind of made me think. She volunteered to go xmas shopping with me on Tuesday after I said I needed someone to go with me so I won't go shopping "Alone". We hung out, about a day or two after we were texting and she asked me what I was doing. I said just relaxing at home on my phone. She asked who I was texting in a joking manner, I told her that I was texting her and a couple other people. Then out of nowhere she said oh wow I'll let you go then so you can talk to your women. This took me by surprise and I told her no that she was the only woman I was texting at that moment. After she said yea I just didn't want to bug you from your game with other girls. From there we kept texting and the next day she texted me in the morning and we talked a little more, then she just stopped replying after and we haven't talked since. This was Friday around noon. So idk what to do at this point, it's really hard to read her.

Aquansidenout that's the thing though I haven't been playing games. I simply said I was relaxing at home on my phone. She automatically assumed it was other girls I was texting the minute I said I was texting her and a couple other people. Could have been friends, family, etc. She assumed immediately that it was other girls. I told her that she's the only girl I was texting at that moment and that I never text other girls while I'm texting her. It's hard to tell how she feels, sometimes I feel like she loves talking and hanging out with me and other times I feel like she is whatever about it. I haven't forced her to do anything and haven't brought up getting back together or anything like that and I haven't been playing games. I immediately stopped talking to all the other girls once I started talking to her because she is the only one that I want. Unfortunately for me I still love her, and it hurts knowing she doesn't feel the same.

HeartbrokenT,

I feel inclined to tell you that I forced all of my exes to be my friend after breaking up. I want them in my life because, while I may not be IN love with them anymore, I still HAVE mad love and respect for them as human beings, and I hate burning bridges. I hang out with and/or talk to all of them regularly, and I take great care to not lead them on. i.e., kiss, flirt, sexual innuendo talk, etc. Being romantic or affectionate with her is definitely NOT what you want to do at all at this point, you need to let her set the tone. I am guilty of the very same thing she did with you with the "texting other girls" situation; I did it to my most recent ex (a true-blue Aries if I ever met one lol), whom I care about a great deal, but had to end our relationship because of incompatibility. Maybe I can provide some insight for you as to why she would do this. I've been seeing other people since the day after I broke up with him, and I know for a fact he hasn't been involved with anyone (he was pretty devastated by our breakup). Now, as an Aquarius, it is generally goes against our nature to be jealous or feel the need to provoke jealousy. That wasn't my intention when casually insinuating that he was involved with other women. I was making light of a potentially awkward scenario in which I wanted to ask/find out if he was involved with other people out of sheer curiosity, so I somewhat jokingly made a remark similar to what your aqua did. I believe curiosity and genuinely caring about you was her motive behind that question. Now, I haven't dealt too much with Taurus men, but I've heard they are infamous for being incredibly stubborn. My ex(the Aries) is very stubborn and has a lot of pride that eventually led to his downfall(me breaking up with him). The way you responded to her about never texting other girls whilst you were in the act of texting her would've pissed me off, hard! Only because, to me, as an aqua, that sounds like your stubborn attitude creeping up again. Big turn-off for us. We can be stubborn, but we pick our battles, and flatter ourselves to think that the few battles we pick are WELL worth it. If we feel that you make every situation a battle, and constantly refuse to yield, we lose interest faster than you can blink an eye. This is because we are so very open-minded and accepting, and loathe when others can't even budge a little to see someone else's side of the situation.

My advice to you would be from my experience with my ex Aries. Any time I would pull this casual-asking-about-his-romantic-life crap, he would respond with a tactful answer. Not needy or angry. He would simply say no, I'm not involved with anyone and I haven't been. Simple as that. He didn't insinuate that he had been talking to other women as you did, nor did he say something ridiculous like "no, I don't talk to other women and I never will again because I'm so hung up on you" (not saying that you did this, just giving an example). I would also like to say that I personally give people that I love a LOT of leeway as far as chances go; I believe everyone deserves a second, third, fourth...seventeenth chance 🙂 just don't be desperate or try to provoke jealousy in her with the idea that you talk to other women, you will lose. You will look foolish to her, and she will ultimately write you off for either scenario. Just live your life, text her every now and then, do NOT EVER ignore her, and just be there as a friend to her. She very well may eventually get back together with you. I know that even though I want to be single and my Aries drove me insane with his stubborn coldness, I still think that one day, we may ultimately get back together. That is, as long as he learns a thing or two in the meantime.