intheair
@intheair
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 210 · Topics: 7
Suggestions for closure
@blackphase,
I truly am lost because right from the beginning he stated that he was not looking for a relationship. I was fine with that and was still willing to see him. When he spazzed out the first time and said that he had to "protect his heart!" I asked him why would he feel inclined to protect his heart from me as he hadn't given it to me...
So confusing...to say the least.
I truly am lost because right from the beginning he stated that he was not looking for a relationship. I was fine with that and was still willing to see him. When he spazzed out the first time and said that he had to "protect his heart!" I asked him why would he feel inclined to protect his heart from me as he hadn't given it to me...
So confusing...to say the least.
Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Eva
I appreciate those words or flaws or problems early on so you know if you can handle them, or not. . The timelines work wonders don't they? Especially if they are showing true colors right away.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428EXATAMUNDO!!! He's already showing his true colors and she should take into account and bail....continue to bail! 😄
I appreciate those words or flaws or problems early on so you know if you can handle them, or not. . The timelines work wonders don't they? Especially if they are showing true colors right away.
Love,
Eva
It is my opinion that this is not chart related, this is emotional instability. Love yourself enough to walk away from this drama.
Posted by blackphaseJust had a recollection of the 1st spazz out and possibly led to him saying that he had to protect his heart. His nature is very suspicious, jealous, and controlling.
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
We were on the phone when I asked him to hold (Aqua guy could hear us both) while I talked to another guy TO SPEAK BUSINESS.
He hung up and would not answer when I called/text. When he did respond a couple of hours later via text, that is when he said he said to 'go live my life' 'I am not the woman for him' 'I have to protect my heart'
When I asked a week later he said that I hurt his feelings because he felt ignored!
Ugh!
Posted by PerceptiveSymmetryThank you.
It is my opinion that this is not chart related, this is emotional instability. Love yourself enough to walk away from this drama.
I didn't consider the obvious emotional instability at play because this type of behaviour is so extreme to me. At this point I have no choice but to move on but if it were up to me I'd like a conversation with him. At this rate, it ain't happening...
Also, I do know that my behavior in moving in with him lightening quick is extreme too but I am transitioning in living arrangements; he knew that and offered to move me in...
Huh. This might be helpful:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/truecap-scorpgurl-and-all-my-gellow-aquaman-lovers-6135236/
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/truecap-scorpgurl-and-all-my-gellow-aquaman-lovers-6135236/
Posted by sultrykittyThat was an insightful read, thank you.
Huh. This might be helpful:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/truecap-scorpgurl-and-all-my-gellow-aquaman-lovers-6135236/
Posted by intheairYou're welcome. My aqua has Taurus moon amd Aqua Venus as well. No Pisces though, so the watery aspects I'm not familiar with.Posted by sultrykittyThat was an insightful read, thank you.
Huh. This might be helpful:
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/aquarius/truecap-scorpgurl-and-all-my-gellow-aquaman-lovers-6135236/click to expand
But your experiences with yours are similar to mine in the early years (although he wouldn't ever have wanted to move in together ao soon--that could be the water in your Aqua's chart).
Posted by EvatheDivathis.Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Evaclick to expand
good response!!
he's in a black mood. if you can't handle them get the hell out of the kitchen.
plus Neptune sag squaring his mars/mercury.
Posted by intheairhe has Jupiter Libra and Saturn libra, he should be able to "get" you....Posted by PerceptiveSymmetryThank you.
It is my opinion that this is not chart related, this is emotional instability. Love yourself enough to walk away from this drama.
I didn't consider the obvious emotional instability at play because this type of behaviour is so extreme to me. At this point I have no choice but to move on but if it were up to me I'd like a conversation with him. At this rate, it ain't happening...click to expand
since your sun to his Jupiter.
he probably has some unhappiness going on with you that he is not telling you and you're not able to "get".
Posted by lisabethur8^5 (high five) 😄Posted by EvatheDivathis.Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Eva
good response!!
he's in a black mood. if you can't handle them get the hell out of the kitchen.
plus Neptune sag squaring his mars/mercury.
click to expand
Love,
Eva
Aqua sun with Taurus moon are very moody, and can get explosive when they get mad. It takes a lot to get there but when they do, it's not pretty.
Posted by EvatheDiva*HIGH FIVE BACK*Posted by lisabethur8^5 (high five) 😄Posted by EvatheDivathis.Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Eva
good response!!
he's in a black mood. if you can't handle them get the hell out of the kitchen.
plus Neptune sag squaring his mars/mercury.
Love,
Evaclick to expand
Posted by lisabethur8The thing about "handling the heat" - I stuck my head in the proverbial lions mouth and it made him angrier, not wanting to communicate, and dump me. Although, he will respond to a caring text with a snappy/sarcastic reply. As I said, I have no choice but to leave the kitchen now.Posted by EvatheDivathis.Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Eva
good response!!
he's in a black mood. if you can't handle them get the hell out of the kitchen.
plus Neptune sag squaring his mars/mercury.
click to expand
I'm going to read those 'square' aspects one more time...I was too happy to see the 'trines'...
Posted by sultrykittyHmmm, seemed like he went from 0 to 100 in a milisecond for the hell of it.
Aqua sun with Taurus moon are very moody, and can get explosive when they get mad. It takes a lot to get there but when they do, it's not pretty.
Posted by lisabethur8It's apparent now but in between the outburst he would sing my praises and be very affectionate.Posted by intheairhe has Jupiter Libra and Saturn libra, he should be able to "get" you....Posted by PerceptiveSymmetryThank you.
It is my opinion that this is not chart related, this is emotional instability. Love yourself enough to walk away from this drama.
I didn't consider the obvious emotional instability at play because this type of behaviour is so extreme to me. At this point I have no choice but to move on but if it were up to me I'd like a conversation with him. At this rate, it ain't happening...
since your sun to his Jupiter.
he probably has some unhappiness going on with you that he is not telling you and you're not able to "get".click to expand
He projected a lot saying that I was "suspect" and "sneaky". Ridiculous.
Posted by intheairIt probably seems that way to you but whatever is going on internally with him was simmering. Pisces influence might not let him hold back as long. Mine has an Aries mars and Cap mercury so he's like a shaken-up soda bottle when he pops off. Sorta looks like one too, lol. 😄Posted by sultrykittyHmmm, seemed like he went from 0 to 100 in a milisecond for the hell of it.
Aqua sun with Taurus moon are very moody, and can get explosive when they get mad. It takes a lot to get there but when they do, it's not pretty.click to expand
Posted by sultrykittyOk, I get it...Posted by intheairIt probably seems that way to you but whatever is going on internally with him was simmering. Pisces influence might not let him hold back as long. Mine has an Aries mars and Cap mercury so he's like a shaken-up soda bottle when he pops off. Sorta looks like one too, lol. 😄Posted by sultrykittyHmmm, seemed like he went from 0 to 100 in a milisecond for the hell of it.
Aqua sun with Taurus moon are very moody, and can get explosive when they get mad. It takes a lot to get there but when they do, it's not pretty.click to expand
Your reply is much appreciated 🙂
Posted by aquaniblol
Manchild that thinks you have something on the side, irritating him, apparently uncontrolably (the things on the phone), the living arrangement you two have-he feels like that is carte blanche for pouring manure ( sarcasm-if it's the nasty kind-not the funny kind, there are no feelings there) over you from a position of dominance.
In an extreme version he wants to own you and sees offering you a place to stay as a vehicle for that purpose. With this arrangement staying as it is you are always at a weaker position, which he will exploit liberally when he needs to lecture you for w/e it will be he won't agree with.
When you decide to leave, there will probably be things thrown at you as in "look what i did for you" etc etc
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This forum lol.....where you ppl find these losers— Everywhere you go there some sad sob story. It's like y'all are looking with binoculars for the worst scum available.
it's unbelievable online.
the things you read and hear.
Posted by aquanibWoah...what an interesting perspective. A bit spooky too.
Manchild that thinks you have something on the side, irritating him, apparently uncontrolably (the things on the phone), the living arrangement you two have-he feels like that is carte blanche for pouring manure ( sarcasm-if it's the nasty kind-not the funny kind, there are no feelings there) over you from a position of dominance.
In an extreme version he wants to own you and sees offering you a place to stay as a vehicle for that purpose. With this arrangement staying as it is you are always at a weaker position, which he will exploit liberally when he needs to lecture you for w/e it will be he won't agree with.
When you decide to leave, there will probably be things thrown at you as in "look what i did for you" etc etc
--------------------------------------------------
This forum lol.....where you ppl find these losers— Everywhere you go there some sad sob story. It's like y'all are looking with binoculars for the worst scum available.
Posted by lisabethur8If I did not experience this first hand I wouldn't believe it either. It's a bit crazy.Posted by aquaniblol
Manchild that thinks you have something on the side, irritating him, apparently uncontrolably (the things on the phone), the living arrangement you two have-he feels like that is carte blanche for pouring manure ( sarcasm-if it's the nasty kind-not the funny kind, there are no feelings there) over you from a position of dominance.
In an extreme version he wants to own you and sees offering you a place to stay as a vehicle for that purpose. With this arrangement staying as it is you are always at a weaker position, which he will exploit liberally when he needs to lecture you for w/e it will be he won't agree with.
When you decide to leave, there will probably be things thrown at you as in "look what i did for you" etc etc
--------------------------------------------------
This forum lol.....where you ppl find these losers— Everywhere you go there some sad sob story. It's like y'all are looking with binoculars for the worst scum available.
it's unbelievable online.
the things you read and hear.click to expand
Posted by aquanibI see.Posted by intheairI'm probably doing myself a disservice by telling you this, however, If you replace his Moon with pisces and his Mars with aquarius it's basically me 😄
Woah...what an interesting perspective. A bit spooky too.
That said, however, i would act differently, would most likely confront you head on, if the answer would be unsatisfying, i would say okay and when the phone call would be over i'd start throwing your stuff out the door. Come to think of it, i wouldn't even take you in, 1 months aquaintance, lmao.......who does that? /gasp :Oclick to expand
In the dilemma we went through, it was initiated by him. He had the upper hand by being in the position to 'finish' it. Says a lot about his character.
He has no reason to confront me for a single thing. However, I do but he's not speaking to me (I believe he knows deep down that he was wrong and that I will be the one to confront him. The sad thing is my confrontation wouldn't be to point the finger but for understanding and salvaging things.)
It's not the type of closure I'd like to have on him and his mentality/actions but what can I do?
You guys have been very helpful.
Posted by aquanibThat is precisely my point - I didn't do a thing - real or imagined - for him to confront me about. As I stated we were on the phone having a grand 'ol time when I heard him mumble 'bitch' and threatening to put me out! I was blown away and had no idea where it came from. When I told him what I thought I heard him say he would not clarify and glossed over it. It wasn't provoked. It's like he was ticking.Posted by intheairUmm, sry, English is not my first language, might have not picked the correct word........when i say i would confront you = i would seek immediate clarification on w/e it was that you supposedly did that made him go mumble words. Not aggresive confrontation.
He has no reason to confront me for a single thing. However, I do but he's not speaking to me (I believe he knows deep down that he was wrong and that I will be the one to confront him. The sad thing is my confrontation wouldn't be to point the finger but for understanding and salvaging things.)click to expand
The only way that I can make sense of all the nonsense is to assume he couldn't handle his jealousy, insecurity, paranoia, etc. OR SOMETHING ELSE HE IS BATTLING. I'M LOST.
I have been reading up on our 'squares' but I still can't wrap my head around the way he is choosing to handle any opposition we had. It certainly didn't warrant this!
LMAO + TWISTY FACE + PROFOUND FACE = While reading your post! Very interesting @Aquanib.
Regarding the living arrangement - He had a lot to gain financially amongst other things. I suspect he expected me to beg to stay and when I packed to leave instead, he was hurt/angry. He asked me to stay just for that night but I was emotional and prideful and declined. The next day I asked to comeback and in true form unable to resist kicking me while I was down, he declined. It was also another opportunity to lick me by responding in a snark manner to my text. I don't know what he gets out of it!
I've been a glutton for unwarranted punishment. I know he won't give me closure as I doubt he will ever speak to me again. No choice but to move it along.
I got a few lumps and kicks in the rear in return for not being sporadic and wise. I'll be ok.
Regarding the living arrangement - He had a lot to gain financially amongst other things. I suspect he expected me to beg to stay and when I packed to leave instead, he was hurt/angry. He asked me to stay just for that night but I was emotional and prideful and declined. The next day I asked to comeback and in true form unable to resist kicking me while I was down, he declined. It was also another opportunity to lick me by responding in a snark manner to my text. I don't know what he gets out of it!
I've been a glutton for unwarranted punishment. I know he won't give me closure as I doubt he will ever speak to me again. No choice but to move it along.
I got a few lumps and kicks in the rear in return for not being sporadic and wise. I'll be ok.
^^^Damn autocorrect.
*kick
*snarky
*kick
*snarky
OMG, He just literally texted me to say that he saw a car (it's the right color though not the model I told him several times I wanted) at a dealership he recommended last week.
I'm paralyzed and not sure if I should respond. I didn't think he would ever contact me again! Now that he has...he's telling me about a...car?!
Wow!
I'm paralyzed and not sure if I should respond. I didn't think he would ever contact me again! Now that he has...he's telling me about a...car?!
Wow!
Just don't take the crazy shit seriously for a while, and see if it's worth it to be in touch with him for the 'normal' phases. I knew an Aqua once that used to tell me 'I'm angry at you but that's a good way to feel'. I guess he meant if they don't hate someone for some silly reason (which may not be based on anything real at all) then they think of that person all the time and neglect other important things. : ) Just brush off whatever you find crazy. Just brush it off. But you're a libra so it won't be easy not to care so much I guess. : )
Hmmm, I think he's feeling me out...or something! It is weird.
So, I replied but stuck to the subject. Remember I said it was the wrong model car?
I simply asked if he saw the model/series I said I wanted to buy in stock.
He replied - "Go see"
So, I replied but stuck to the subject. Remember I said it was the wrong model car?
I simply asked if he saw the model/series I said I wanted to buy in stock.
He replied - "Go see"
Posted by aquanibThanks...Posted by intheair
OMG, He just literally texted me to say that he saw a car (it's the right color though not the model I told him several times I wanted) at a dealership he recommended last week.
I'm paralyzed and not sure if I should respond. I didn't think he would ever contact me again! Now that he has...he's telling me about a...car?!
Wow!
Then he wants to try more, could be the butthurt receded and he came to his senses. Now it's basically all up to you. Best of luck! 😄
#edit: get some answers now. If he is normal, as in all wheels work in sync like they're supposed to, he should be more open.click to expand
I think I will mirror him for now.
If he behaves normally and receptive then I DEFINITELY will ask him to explain the phone situation and the living arrangement.
Posted by workingirlHi there fellow Libra 🙂
Just don't take the crazy shit seriously for a while, and see if it's worth it to be in touch with him for the 'normal' phases. I knew an Aqua once that used to tell me 'I'm angry at you but that's a good way to feel'. I guess he meant if they don't hate someone for some silly reason (which may not be based on anything real at all) then they think of that person all the time and neglect other important things. : ) Just brush off whatever you find crazy. Just brush it off. But you're a libra so it won't be easy not to care so much I guess. : )
Yes, I find myself caught up and caring much too much about the wrong things. My scale is truly tipped LOL.
Posted by lisabethur8Awwwwww 🍹Posted by EvatheDiva*HIGH FIVE BACK*Posted by lisabethur8^5 (high five) 😄Posted by EvatheDivathis.Posted by blackphaseMeaning he's been hurt before. Aquarians (men) stay by themselves for a long time (like Cancerians do) when they had a break up (divorce). He's got Piscean in him (Mercury) and Mars (he's a MAN'S MAN -- Men are from Mars..women are from...well, you get it). When he's pissed/hurt her gets sarcastic! Just remember the fish will use its tail to SLAP you on the face w/it. It hurts worse than to be slapped with a hand because the fin is actually wet!
What happened in order for him to feel like he had to protect his heart? You have no idea.. ?
So I'll be responding here to the original post. I'd leave him alone for a while. We sulk, we play what happened (fight) in our minds and we give up on you until we "allow the waters to calm down". 😏
Love,
Eva
good response!!
he's in a black mood. if you can't handle them get the hell out of the kitchen.
plus Neptune sag squaring his mars/mercury.
Love,
Eva
click to expand
Love,
Eva
OP I dated a guy once who acted like this, although never to the point of calling me a bitch or threatening me. He had PTSD and didn't trust women in the least. He always felt everyone was going to back stab him and so he was always on the edge, expecting it. This is an abusive relationship. There are no if's and/or but's. Once he's crossed that line of threatening you and calling you a bitch, you definitely should start looking at moving on from this craziness. It's no more healthy for you than it is for him, and it'll end up hurting you both.
Side note, you can't fix him. I know you may want to think you're going to be the special one that makes it happen, but it's not an overnight change and it requires TONS of effort and some serious commitment from both sides, that you just won't get at the beginning of a relationship.
He knows he has you on the palm of his hand. If you want to change things, you have to start showing him where the line is and that he can NEVER cross it. If he does cross it once, kick him and move on. Many other fish in the sea for you to be wasting your time on someone who will only bring your self-esteem down faster than you can say 'Quidditch'.
Side note, you can't fix him. I know you may want to think you're going to be the special one that makes it happen, but it's not an overnight change and it requires TONS of effort and some serious commitment from both sides, that you just won't get at the beginning of a relationship.
He knows he has you on the palm of his hand. If you want to change things, you have to start showing him where the line is and that he can NEVER cross it. If he does cross it once, kick him and move on. Many other fish in the sea for you to be wasting your time on someone who will only bring your self-esteem down faster than you can say 'Quidditch'.
I figure since I dumped my "mess" that I should at least update (this is going to be long & ALL OVER THE PLACE.) -
SO, I have closure but not the kind I wanted. That cold, prickly, greasy, kick-in-the-arse kind.
I have an app on my phone that records all incoming/outgoing phone calls. Yesterday I asked a close friend to please listen to the conversation between Aqua and I. I told my friend that I thought I heard Aqua say some things but did not say exactly what I thought I heard. As soon as began to replay the conversation my friend exclaimed, "He is talking to someone! (TBH - I initially thought this same thing but dismissed it because what Aqua said seem applicable TO ME). So, the lightbulb still did not go on and I still was trying to get my friend to listen for what I thought I heard when he took my phone, paused the call, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Listen to me! This dude is distracted and it.is.because.he.has.a.woman.in.the.truck.with.him.that.he.is.talking.to.like.that! Do you hear me!!!—"
Ok, yes, I finally heard him and am now forced to accept my initial thought since it's now been confirmed and also have to revisit every conversation/action/interaction colored now by the exposure of the AQUA guy. WOW.
My friend is into astrology as well and advised that AQUA :
-Has been hurt (Aqua has said this to me several times) before and as a result so is controlling, abusive, suspicious, jealous, and deceptive.
-He wants love but does not know how to get it and will often times seek sex instead because he is most comfortable/confident in his sexual skill.
-Although he has many women he is used to them "falling in line" with doing things his way. Since I did not then I presented a challenge, something different and someone to control and/or conquer. When I asked my friend -Who the hell moves someone into their personal space so they can try to control them—- He explained the most of the above plus a bit more of Aqua's mentality and approach to moving me in.
-Aqua is not done and will be back...for sex. I think Aqua is indeed done: Saturday I wrote that he texted me while I was on DXP. On Sunday, I texted him and stated that I'd like to see him but nothing.
-That God revealed what I was in store for and that I should move on from Aqua but have compassion, understanding, patience, and love for him...but from a distance.
I can't say that I am shocked...well, just a littlie. I can't stop wondering why would Aqua call me and insist that I talk and stay on the phone with him when he had another woman in the truck with him - I can't find the words to describe that move other that BIG-BALLED and CRAZY.
I've written a phamplet but I will answer anyone who has questions and/or comments.
SO, I have closure but not the kind I wanted. That cold, prickly, greasy, kick-in-the-arse kind.
I have an app on my phone that records all incoming/outgoing phone calls. Yesterday I asked a close friend to please listen to the conversation between Aqua and I. I told my friend that I thought I heard Aqua say some things but did not say exactly what I thought I heard. As soon as began to replay the conversation my friend exclaimed, "He is talking to someone! (TBH - I initially thought this same thing but dismissed it because what Aqua said seem applicable TO ME). So, the lightbulb still did not go on and I still was trying to get my friend to listen for what I thought I heard when he took my phone, paused the call, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Listen to me! This dude is distracted and it.is.because.he.has.a.woman.in.the.truck.with.him.that.he.is.talking.to.like.that! Do you hear me!!!—"
Ok, yes, I finally heard him and am now forced to accept my initial thought since it's now been confirmed and also have to revisit every conversation/action/interaction colored now by the exposure of the AQUA guy. WOW.
My friend is into astrology as well and advised that AQUA :
-Has been hurt (Aqua has said this to me several times) before and as a result so is controlling, abusive, suspicious, jealous, and deceptive.
-He wants love but does not know how to get it and will often times seek sex instead because he is most comfortable/confident in his sexual skill.
-Although he has many women he is used to them "falling in line" with doing things his way. Since I did not then I presented a challenge, something different and someone to control and/or conquer. When I asked my friend -Who the hell moves someone into their personal space so they can try to control them—- He explained the most of the above plus a bit more of Aqua's mentality and approach to moving me in.
-Aqua is not done and will be back...for sex. I think Aqua is indeed done: Saturday I wrote that he texted me while I was on DXP. On Sunday, I texted him and stated that I'd like to see him but nothing.
-That God revealed what I was in store for and that I should move on from Aqua but have compassion, understanding, patience, and love for him...but from a distance.
I can't say that I am shocked...well, just a littlie. I can't stop wondering why would Aqua call me and insist that I talk and stay on the phone with him when he had another woman in the truck with him - I can't find the words to describe that move other that BIG-BALLED and CRAZY.
I've written a phamplet but I will answer anyone who has questions and/or comments.
He is all kinds of crazy. Don't text him anymore. Seriously. You'll just appear desperate and, ugh, why would you want him to think he's got you all strung out over him?
Posted by nyxxeeI won't text him again.
He is all kinds of crazy. Don't text him anymore. Seriously. You'll just appear desperate and, ugh, why would you want him to think he's got you all strung out over him?
According to my friend, although Aqua was attempting to control me, he feels like he has me in the palm of his hand.
Posted by WhoAmIYesterday my friend echoed some of the same sentiments.
OP I dated a guy once who acted like this, although never to the point of calling me a bitch or threatening me. He had PTSD and didn't trust women in the least. He always felt everyone was going to back stab him and so he was always on the edge, expecting it. This is an abusive relationship. There are no if's and/or but's. Once he's crossed that line of threatening you and calling you a bitch, you definitely should start looking at moving on from this craziness. It's no more healthy for you than it is for him, and it'll end up hurting you both.
Side note, you can't fix him. I know you may want to think you're going to be the special one that makes it happen, but it's not an overnight change and it requires TONS of effort and some serious commitment from both sides, that you just won't get at the beginning of a relationship.
He knows he has you on the palm of his hand. If you want to change things, you have to start showing him where the line is and that he can NEVER cross it. If he does cross it once, kick him and move on. Many other fish in the sea for you to be wasting your time on someone who will only bring your self-esteem down faster than you can say 'Quidditch'.
I agree with your friend. And it's not really out of the ordinary when dealing with an ___(insert hurt, angry, immature, etc) aqua guy. I experienced same with mine when younger, but I wasn't mature or smart enough to stay away. It may have been planned that way by the universe because we can't live without each other now, but oy vay what a hellish ride it was. I really learned a lot and am grateful for the lessons but I probably didn't need to learn them.
Wishing you the best in life. Listen to your friend. He has your back. 🙂
Wishing you the best in life. Listen to your friend. He has your back. 🙂
Posted by sultrykittyThank you and your I hear you loud and clear!
I agree with your friend. And it's not really out of the ordinary when dealing with an ___(insert hurt, angry, immature, etc) aqua guy. I experienced same with mine when younger, but I wasn't mature or smart enough to stay away. It may have been planned that way by the universe because we can't live without each other now, but oy vay what a hellish ride it was. I really learned a lot and am grateful for the lessons but I probably didn't need to learn them.
Wishing you the best in life. Listen to your friend. He has your back. 🙂
Posted by intheairThis whole thing sounds off. So you met on March 1....within a month (add a few days) you had a major argument, he basically told you to go f*ck yourself, calls you up after ignoring your calls and you carry on "right where you left off" like nothing happened, you move in, you get into another argument and leave and you want insight about his behaviour? Does it matter? Perhaps figure out why you were so quick and willing to accept that nonsense and move in with a man that clearly seem unstable from jump.
Good morning,
I (Libra) met this Aqua guy @March 1st and as of @April 4th we are on the outs. In that short time we've had two major blowouts...both initiated by him. 1st time - He spazzed on me and stated. "Go live your life. You are not the woman for me!", "I have to protect my heart." When I contacted him a few days later to express that I was missing him, he stated, "You should have thought about that before you tried to deceive me! Goodbye!" Color me confused. I deleted his info and attempted to move the hell on when I got a call 2 days later from him requesting to see me. I went and we picked up right where we left off ...EXCEPT HE ASKED ME TO MOVE IN and I did. This leads to the 2nd spazz out - We were on the phone having friendly banter (or so I thought) when I swore I heard him say (inaudibly) "BItch.....blah, blah, blah" and then later in the conversation "I will put you the f@ck out" So, I asked him what did he say, why did he say it, that he was pissing me off, and that I am hanging up (He feigned ignorance). He called me back 8 times and when I did finally pick up he said we aren't working out and asked me to leave (he denies this and said I moved out on my own). That was a few days ago. Last night I sent him a message stating that I missed him to which he replied, "I know you do!" Then nothing.
I guess I would like some insight to his extremes, blowups, and find myself wondering if he is bipolar (for lack of a better word)...or something. I have observed that he deflects, angers unexpectedly, and is not accountable in both instances. He seems to take pleasure in kicking me when he knows that I am down. So, I would like some closure. I know that this is long, all over the place, and not detailed but any insight is greatly appreciated.
If you gain more insight into his behaviour how exactly would that give you closure? How does that address your willingness to accept bs from a man you just met? Smh...
And this:
Best of luck.
Posted by intheairDoesn't wash. So if you hadn't met him you would have been homeless? I doubt it, so don't use that as an excuse for moving in with a man you barely knew. It's probably in your best interest to figure out your own stuff than worry about his issues.
Also, I do know that my behavior in moving in with him lightening quick is extreme too but I am transitioning in living arrangements; he knew that and offered to move me in...
Best of luck.
@PhoenixRising
I ALREADY am aware regarding my actions and the reasons behind them. I also know my threshold with THIS PARTICULAR MAN. Because it was a NEW experience for me and my first Aqua guy then yes I wanted some insight which several people have chimed in with.
Do you have any? Or do you just want to be prickly?
I ALREADY am aware regarding my actions and the reasons behind them. I also know my threshold with THIS PARTICULAR MAN. Because it was a NEW experience for me and my first Aqua guy then yes I wanted some insight which several people have chimed in with.
Do you have any? Or do you just want to be prickly?
Posted by PhoenixRisingIt does wash...
And this:
Posted by intheairDoesn't wash. So if you hadn't met him you would have been homeless? I doubt it, so don't use that as an excuse for moving in with a man you barely knew. It's probably in your best interest to figure out your own stuff than worry about his issues.
Also, I do know that my behavior in moving in with him lightening quick is extreme too but I am transitioning in living arrangements; he knew that and offered to move me in...
Best of luck.click to expand
Does DXP or you have a prize for telling lies——??
And, yes, I did state that my living situation was in transition.
Posted by intheair😆 (only one person has ever said that too me, so it brings me back) I didn't intend to sound prickly, my apologies.
@PhoenixRising
I ALREADY am aware regarding my actions and the reasons behind them. I also know my threshold with THIS PARTICULAR MAN. Because it was a NEW experience for me and my first Aqua guy then yes I wanted some insight which several people have chimed in with.
Do you have any? Or do you just want to be prickly?
My feedback also wasn't meant to cast blame. I come from the pov that it takes two hands to clap and I tend to address the person asking the question. Since he's not here to receive feedback, that leaves you. My only point was, you are allowing someone that doesn't seem quite worth your time to occupy space in your head when knowing more about him won't really help you going forward imo. It's only helpful if you're planning to reconcile with him, yet you stated you wanted "closure", so you will understand my confusion.
With that stated, his toxic behaviour is only part of the issue. The whole courtship (yes, including the role you played) sounded dysfunctional, so I wasn't going to even address his chart. I haven't had a similar experience with Aquas. They are "crazy" as f*ck, but a cool kind of crazy that I dig. However, that doesn't mean your experience is less valid and he was just an "off" one from the bunch. He was "off" because he's off. Period.
The first outburst and disrespectful way he treated you would have sent most running. You didn't. We all get hurt, but there is a way to express it. You explained what it was that you did that led to the initial outburst, you even recognize that his reaction wasn't reasonable given what the issue was, yet didn't take that as a sign you should perhaps back up a bit? I personally think you should figure out why that is. If your goal is to not have a repeat performance (with any man) it often helps to see where you should disengage and step away, more importantly why you don't when the signs tell you this doesn't feel right, not the other person's motives.
That is my insight.
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Sun Aquarius 21°54'
Moon Taurus 8°14'
Mercury Pisces 4°30' R
Venus Aquarius 8°05'
Mars Pisces 2°59'
Jupiter Libra 9°56' R
Saturn Libra 9°19' R
Uranus Scorpio 29°53'
Neptune Sagittarius 24°20'
Pluto Libra 24°17' R
Lilith Scorpio 4°48'
Asc node Leo 10°54'
Me:
Sun Libra 19°25'
Moon Sagittarius 17°46'
Mercury Scorpio 4°54'
Venus Virgo 8°26'
Mars Libra 7°34'
Jupiter Capricorn 1°57'
Saturn Gemini 20°30' R
Uranus Libra 18°45'
Neptune Sagittarius 3°25'
Pluto Libra 2°35'
Lilith Scorpio 25°48'
Asc node Capricorn 21°31'