are aries men superficial?

i have been sleeping with an aries man off and on since october 2009. i began to have really strong feelings for him but i knew things would never become more than sexual with him so i packed my bags and moved 6 hrs away to start grad school. as soon as he left he was texting me non-stop saying how much he missed me. we still text and i saw him a couple times when i went home for the holidays but we just had a conversation last night that left me feeling pretty crappy. he basically implied that he never wanted to be exclusive b/c i don't have anything to offer financially. i don't have a job bc i'm in grad school and he said he needs someone who is on his same level. he is 6 years older than me and has a good paying job and recently bought a house. it just made me feel kinda bad about myself although i shouldn't feel bad bc its a great thing what i'm doing (going back to school, living in a city ive always wanted to live in). but he feels at my age (26) i should be more settled. is this something that can be worked through or do i just let it go bc i dont have enough of what he wants? its tough bc i like him and i knew we'd be good together if we gave it an honest chance. why is he making a big deal out of superficial things when its about who the person is that really matters? ahhh aries. don't get u!! what do you guys advise i do?

yes, i told him and he just said OK, probably to just shut me up and then he stopped talking and i haven't heard from him after that.

i think his concerns are somewhat valid but you shouldn't blame yourself because this isn't your fault and i'm not saying there's anything wrong with you (people have to operate under different circumstances in life so no one can really say to another person, "well, why aren't you doing this at your age?") so just hear me out.

i'm assuming that a guy his age is looking for some security/stability in his life. he's probably worried about having to carry 100% of the finanical responsibility on his shoulders if he gets into a relationship with someone who can't work (due to schooling or any other reason). this is very common. men want to feel secure just like women do. he wants someone reliable and self-efficient. i don't think that makes him superficial but he may be placing too much significance on that finiacial thing...anyways, it's not your fault. it's just something a lot of people are concerned about these days.

i mean, i got married pretty young but that's partly because i was already self-efficient at the time and so was my wife. it just made us feel more secure, i guess. but we're obviosuly not ready to bring kids into the world so that's not even on our minds right now.

haha thanks amethyst and everyone, i feel a little better now.

i think what bugs me the most though is the fact that this guy is using her/sleeping with her whenever it's convenient for him but he's giving her these conditions/guidelines that he wants her to live up to so in a way, he's basically creating a win-win situation for himself while leaving her feeling like crap. and I guess it might've been vulnerable on her part to think that he was gonna eventually make this thing official but still...it's not cool to play with people's emotions like that.

holy crap, i just noticed i kept saying ''self-efficient'' up there instead of ''self-sufficient''. wtf sorry about that lol

I agree with amythest2002. He is being a total ass. What a bunch of light weight excuses to hide his real feelings. Wanna' bet he is feeling intimidated by the fact that you are off to grad school? Kinda' tough on your delicate ego, having a women with actual intellect. Or apparently at least for some of us.

On the other hand, why yes, some of us Aries males can be rather superficial.

I don't think we are getting his perspective or the full story.

Are we superficial? NOOOO.

Do aries want to control the situation and be close to their partner etc, YES.

I think there was too much distance and stress with factors of changing where each other lives etc.

Doesn't mean he stopped caring or doesn't want to be with you but long distance relationships put a strain on everyone, so let's give both side credit on trying to work things through.

now he's not responding to my texts. 😢

yeah i agree. its just confusing with aries men bc they are such sexual beings so one would think its ok to let go and be sexual too.. but yeah, its not right what he said and now he does ignoring me and i want to tell him off so badly but unfortunately im not that kind. kinda wish i was..

ok i told him off. thnx guys for your imput. i'm done taking crap! i deserve better.

Posted by saggie1123
ok i told him off. thnx guys for your imput. i'm done taking crap! i deserve better.

Exactly....

thank u!

and besides all the financial crap he gave me, he was also saying that if i had unprotected sex with him it would bring us a few steps closer to dating. what a douche.

That and a few steps closer to child support. Any one that tries that as a line of defense needs to be taken out back and horse whipped for sheer stupidity.

Good point there VB, about the kids. I would have to say he is (hopefully was) a manipulative jerk. Good riddance!!!!

Ah, now VB, about that horse whip, ya' know I can be really stupid sometimes. Just thought I would mention that.....

Is that so Aries? *raised brow* Needing flogged are we?

Hurt me, beat me, make me write bad checks....

Perhaps I have said to much...

LOL Have you said too much? I didn't think so.

now he texts me to tell me he's talking to another girl but wants to no if we continue having no stings attached sex. this guy is crazy.

lol how do i approach this

Posted by saggie1123
lol how do i approach this

One of my favorites is "Take a flying f***k at a rolling donut!"
A wonderful visual, don't you think?

^ That's a good one methinks, or how about "Sorry, I'm worth more than being an occasional penis holster, but spanks for the LOVELY offer."

i don't mind having a good time and messing around a bit but he's just shady and dishonest and that makes me not want to give him anything he wants. if we were cool and buddy-buddy we'd be having all the sex in the world. but it's not like that with him. he's inconsistent, he lies, he's pushy and insensitive. it would be in my best interest to move on, especially since he'll just throw me to the curb once things get serious with his current lady. are all aries men this scummy? ew.

thanks dp. i know i can fall into the trap but its only bc sometimes i'm ok with just letting go and having sex. who doesn't want to get laid? but then i think about how he treats me and i try to contain myself🙂 thanks for the reality check.

I can only really speak for myself, but I say that the way your Aries guy is treating is totally awful. I would be having a real hard time with myself if I was doing to someone what he is doing to you.

He has no respect for you, he is treating you like trash because that is what he thinks of you, he is not going to change that.

Dump the Scum Bag!!!

LOLOLOL