Cap man win back a Aries women

Hi, this is my first post.
Am 33 years old and have fallen in love with a 41 year old Aries women.
After 18 months together she has dumped me ( not the first time ) because we wasn't working, I kept causing silly arguments due to being stressed etc.
now I love this women. The relationship has never been easy. She is a widor & was with her abusive husband for 20 years how pass?d away by drugs 5 years ago.
I am the first love she has had since & she did still have a lt of baggage when we first met.
This went on for at least 6 months & I stuck by her.
She had enough of the stress & the relationship not working.
But I admit I was being a arsehole & had to sort my own head out & regain some balance In my own life.
I love this girl & want her back so much... I need help.

We were good together & did have crazy times also.
But I am loyal and committed & never wanted it I finish. I just wanted she'd to stick by me like I did for her.
Over Our 18 months together we both fell for each other & I have gained a very loving and good relationship with her 5 year old daughter.
She wanted me to be a daddy to her etc.

She tells me it's over & that she couldn't go back. I don't blame her! Nobody wants to go back to arguing wtc, but now things are better. And I have realised how I was acting.
For this I am deeply sorry.

I need advice on gaining her back. As hardwork & confusing as she is... I still think she's worth it.

It happened almost three weeks ago now.
I've collect most of my stuff from her house as I used to spend alot of time their.
Then no contact for two weeks till the other the day when she text saying she never ment to hurt me, etc, it wasn't working, it been hard not to get in contact but my some of my stuffs still their ready to be collected.
So I went round and got my stuff.
We had a couple of hrs togther, it was emtional at first, she kept saying she couldn't go back & it's such a shame because we could of been good etc.
when I left we had a long cuddle and a kiss on the cheek.
She didn't want a cuddle but I knew she did.
I told her that I love her & her daughter & we could work thro out faults, am not perfect & I have been working on them.

She is a bit mixed up due to her past.we do have a history f her not being honest with me etc.
it's sad as I am the only person she's ever met he did love her, she says I Tick all the boxes accept one.. Which is my moodyness.
It's drove her anyway. I understand that & am taking steps to sort it out

Thank you.

Its a little late now but why would you try to fuck with her head knowing she wasnt even fully healed to begin with? Im sure she has huge trust issues and you probably bought some of her issues to the surface

Fifty-fifty. Will take a grand effort to get her back from where you started the first day of meeting her, or perhaps a loss if no action is taken other than reassuring words.

I would wait. No pressure.

No choice but to wait...she is doing what is best for her based on her past and thats a step in the direction of healing. YOu may not be good for her.

^ A healing which might take a while, carrying plenty of emotional weight. I do not think you are good for her either. In my opinion feeling like you will go back to your ways. A child, single parent with history of a father and abusive husband, a different partner causing arguments, not what she is looking for.

Takes out either*.

Thank you for your comments.
I understand what you are saying.

In my defence thou I will say that It was never arguin from day one,
I went thro hell with her at the beginning for around 6 months and they she had another blip later on.
After 2 months of dating she finished with me as she told me that she would never fall in love with me.
Then a week later she got in touch and said she would fall for me.
So we got back togther softy softly and I've always been expecting her to finish it agian since.
A couple of months after that she was caught out texting other guys again.

She finished it agian one nite a couple of months after that becaus did my age!!
Then the day after said it was a mistake.
She was always prone to lieing and giving mixed singles from day one.
But I always hoped it was a stage she was going thro & would get a grip sort of speak.

So in a way she did play on my insecurties.
I hated how I have treated her recently.
I was very very good to her and her daughter.

The only thing I was guilty of was been over emtional when something wasn't going how I planned or getting mixed singles from her & I blew up and become a drama queen.
The break has been good for both of us.
I have got the balance back in to my life now.

Do I still love her.. Deeply

Posted by Chrisf
I kept causing silly arguments due to being stressed etc.

Going by what was mentioned, my mistake for misinterpretation.

I do not think she has full trust if those acts were caught as mistakes in the past. Brought emotional bag of history playing a role into this relationship - not receiving the time to herself as she was supposed to in order to heal - bkbella mentioned. It is not you, it has to do with the history of her husband. This time she is using will help her accumulate thoughts and what she wants out of this relationship, "it's such a shame because we could of been good," she's not going to forget what you have done, gave what you gave because it was how you were feeling during the time. It's tricky.. time, words, and actions go a long way to change her perception of you and the relationship.

Thank you all for the replies. Means alot.

I received a text on Tuesday nite

"Hey how are you"

It threw me big time. We haven't spoken but twice in three weeks & both times it was her asking me to collect my stuff.
So I did know what to make of it.
That was two days ago now and nothing since.

Just had a inbox on fb.
Missing you.. It's hurts so much, hope yr ok.x

So after three weeks of splitting up... She's now dating two guys from work.
My insecurity wasn't for nothing by the seems of it

But she wasn't doing that when you were tOgether. Technically she is single.

Of course... So why text me?

Because you have treated her so well she knows she's not going to meet anyone else like you so she keeps coming back.

A way to get her into your arms is to slow her down. Meaning not letting your guard down easily; she will enter your life just as fast and leave the way she was welcomed in your hands. If wanting to make this relationship work is to proceed with caution. A good man knowing how to treat a lady, place the Cap on. For the longest time you have shown her what you are made of, but it is time for you to break the barrier wall she's holding onto, and that is to be the Man you have shown her you have always been. Place restrictions on yourself, do not let your guard down. This woman hurt your feelings and making it harder for her to come back is asking herself questions like "Where Did I Go Wrong?" in starting to think of solutions on how to make the situation better and a way to get back with you. It is up to you on how you want to lead the situation. My suggestion is to lead carefully and thread fully, not let this woman enter your life the same way as you have made it for her after what you both have been through. It is a woman or a man's loss that good situations and good people don't come easy to find the golden key to one's heart. Hope you find your way to this woman's heart, if it isn't her, then it will somebody who deserves you and your good intentions with a well blended heart. — & Blessings. : )

Thank you for your replies.

The relationship has always been up & down, but when it's great it's amazing, unfortanly when it goes wrong it blows up too.
I love her & her Daugher very much.
A break had to happen as I needed to take a look at my recent actions & attuide and get my head straight.
I don't blame her for having enough of constant arguing & she be confused as to what's triggered it.
She has slag me off to alot of people recently as well which is unfair, one min I was a knight in shinning armour then I become a nasty person.
So obv her friends have all told her to get rid of me, including the guys at work who have played on this & turned her head.
I just hope that she can remember the good times aswell as the sillynesz, I do genuinly don't think she will meet anyone quiet like me again, and she has said that herself before.
I love her & want her back, where we are both tryin ( in her eyes we were tryin before but still couldn't get on ) but we both weren't giving it 100%

It's hard with out having no contact or even seeing her.
And it's hard knowing that she's alredY trying to move on & meeting these other guys who are giving her attention.

As it stands theirs only me who wants to make the relationship work.

And I don't think the two messages where I sign thAt she wants to get back or talk etc.
she has faults too & it takes two to tango. But she doesn't seem to want to anknowledging he down short comings

I understand it takes two to tango, reason for implying not making it easy for her to come back. She sent a message "missing you," meaning you have been on her mind since the break up. She will not find anyone else like you because these other men do not carry the same qualities as you. It is not late for change if mistakes have been done in the past, there is a chance in improvement if you believe there's still a chance to work out the things that have gone awry.

It does not matter what anyone else thinks of you (unless it's her family of course). When you start to worry, a reality starts creating itself based on your fears, attracting and forming into a situation not wanting to be in. Self-sabotaging. The most unfortunate luck will come true, because you believed in the worst of fears.
Heck, if I were you, I would be talking to other women, see if she likes that. 😛

Show the superman chest, it's hidden behind somewhere, replacing the S with a capital C. Don't worry what other people think of you, they do not matter as much as she does with you.

You're welcome. 🙂

Thnk you for your words I think I understand what yr trying to tell me.

I don't really think she Is sat at home questioning the relationship & where did she go wrong.
Their only seems to be me who's doing that.

Were not in regular contact, she sent those two messages last week & I didn't reply ( of course she's speaking to other men aswell thou )

I sent her a large bunch of flowers yesterday & a card with a verse in from. A song that I used to play to her because it reminded me about her. And at the end I just put am sorry.

I received a text lastnite " Hi....well u made me cry....flowers are beautiful...thank you. I miss you so much. Im sorry to.xxx "

And that's it.

She sent two messages and haven't replied?

That was very sweet of you to send flowers, I would have been flattered in my case. I'm sure she is too when she received them.

When is the last time you have tried to contact her?