Did I lose my aries friend?

I have an aries friend I've known for over 2 years, about a year ago she introduced me to a friend of hers and wanted me to help him out because he was joining where I was and had no friends. Well, this guy didnt like me much, was friendly but I could tell he was really fake so I didnt really get too close to him but he liked my friends a lot, especially the female ones and tried to get integrated with them.

To make a long story short, over the course of this past year they all eventually got creeped out by him and either blow him off or try to get away from him. They are still nice to him but it's obvious (to me at least maybe not to him?) that none of them want to date him or anything more than being acquaintances, especially the ones that already have boyfriends.

Anyways, he is really socially awkward and sexually frustrated and complained to my aries friend who in turn gets mad at me and tells me all my friends are assholes and then has stopped talking to me. Now, the exact words are along the lines of how all my friends are assholes and I dont do enough social things. I dont really crap talk this mutual "friend" and it's a professional setting so all I do is pretty much work. I dont really care much for this mutual friend but I would be truly hurt to lose this aries friend.

So, I guess my question is if I have lost this aries friend or will she cool off after a few months and how gullible are aries to gossip, which basically is what is happening here?

Thanks for responding tiziani,

Yeah she's protective of him and she probably sees him that way. He was there for her in a tough time so he's "in" with her, so to speak (not sexually). She felt that way about me too and I'm sure she envisioned me and him to be like brothers/best-friends which obviously is not the case.

Aries can be very quick to believe gossip because they are impulsive and don't always think things through.

hmm..I like this aries friend a lot but this makes her pretty risky especially when I'm up to my neck with stress and work. She makes a great ally too, when she's level headed.

The mutual friend is a lost cause he is beyond help, unfortunately.

I'd tell her that it's a pity to lose a friend over misunderstandings that are basically no one's fault...

However, both you and that guy could make an attempt to avoid conflicts. You won't become best friends, but you can try to understand and respect each other. Everyone gets creeped out by socially awkward people, but they mean well.

Posted by rabidtalker
hmm..I like this aries friend a lot but this makes her pretty risky especially when I'm up to my neck with stress and work. She makes a great ally too, when she's level headed.

The mutual friend is a lost cause he is beyond help, unfortunately.

Then be honest with her and say, "look, I did the best I could for you and him - but this is stressing me out. I don't want to lose our friendship over this person"

Or you could look at it this way - why is she dumping the responsibility for "fixing" this guy when this was never your problem. It's hers. I wouldn't go for that at all. But you did. You tried which was gracious. But it failed and it's not your fault. I would just walk away from it all. Screw them and their manipulative efforts. Just me, I have a pet peeve against being manipulated.

If this guy is a lost cause to you, I think you should leave it to your Aries friend to find out for herself the hard way. She will probably not listen to you even if you tried to explain things to her. So if I were you I would just leave her be and let things play out on their own.

This guy sounds like he has a toxic personality, and eventually even she will be able to feel it, when there are no longer any buffers around for him to hide behind.

Yes, we are impulsive. And sometimes the only way we can see things clearly is by learning the hard way.

Tell her you don't want to lose her because of a small misunderstanding.

Also...tell her you did everything you could. Tell her everything as you feel.

And demanding you to bring him out of his shell is also not a good thing. Taking your help is one thing and then, getting angry for not meeting expectation is another.. What can you do if your friends are not so friendly with him? Ask her..

Talk to her and tell her you'd not like to lose a friend over something so silly which isn't even between you two(Aries m you) in first place.

Thanks everyone, I'm going to let it just ride out. If this dies then that's ok because I dont have the time to deal with it. It's unfortunate but sometimes things happen for a reason.

Posted by rabidtalker
Thanks everyone, I'm going to let it just ride out. If this dies then that's ok because I dont have the time to deal with it. It's unfortunate but sometimes things happen for a reason.

I hope everything works out for you and your friend 🙂

Posted by Cancan26


I hope everything works out for you and your friend 🙂

I dont think it will work out, but that's ok. 😄

Posted by rabidtalker

Posted by Cancan26


I hope everything works out for you and your friend 🙂

I dont think it will work out, but that's ok. 😄

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The problem is, when you think it won't work out - that wild Aries shows up again, trying to kick your butt. 😈

Posted by SensitiveBlues

Posted by Fragrance
I'd tell her that it's a pity to lose a friend over misunderstandings that are basically no one's fault...

However, both you and that guy could make an attempt to avoid conflicts. You won't become best friends, but you can try to understand and respect each other. Everyone gets creeped out by socially awkward people, but they mean well.

why does he have to care about that person ? Doesn't he have enough in life going on.



i used to be very caring of socially awkward people because i am one and i have been shunned and i find that it's okay, i can deal with it, and if need be i can CHANGE my own DAMN SELF not to be Socially AWKWARD but to check my behavior towards others and guess what I HAVE. INSTEAD OF IGNORING PEOPLE AND BEING ALL INSECURE. I ACTUALLY SAY WASSUP AND IF THEY SHUN ME...FINE. (BECAUSE GUESS WHAT I PROBABLY SHUNNED THEM TOO BEFORE)..ITS ON THEM...AND IF THEY ENTHUSIASTICALLY RESPOND GREAT...

RabidTalker doesn't owe him sheet.

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By "try to understand and respect each other" I mean OP could try to see him in a different light. Same for that friend.

OP said the guy was friendly... but perhaps it's not enough if he has anxiety disorder as well.

IMO the Aries was being impulsive and acts like this because she feels bad for him, yet I agree she has to understand that she can't demand that rabidtalker befriends him. It's too much to ask... friendships don't work like that

FYI, Aries friend contacted me today since this post originally went up. I guess we're still friends.