Difficulties Connecting??

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xtina
@xtina
16 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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Has anyone else felt like this, I'm sure someone else has...

It's weird but I feel like it's difficult for me to truly connect and be sympathetic to others. I feel almost detached sometimes. I would like to attribute it to my Libra moon, but my older sisters have their moon in Libra too, but they are not like this.

I realized this last night when I had a really great conversation with this guy, and I thought to myself, when have I felt like this before?? Thinking back, I realize I haven't had many of these enthusiastic conversations, where one instantly connects--not many.

Even than, it's not difficult for me to speak to people at all, but I don't think I have that many close friends, only a few aside from my family. I'm not even close to my cousins, and I watch my other siblings and they seem to have no trouble keeping good friends and staying close to my cousins.

Bleh, I don't know maybe I've been too self-absorbed, or maybe I've been gone to long living in Florida. I do kind of miss my friends there...
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xtina
@xtina
16 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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Posted by Virgo07
"I want to be more than just superficial but I don't know how to without seeming false/fake."

umm yea thats it exactly. i question if im doing something wrong.

cap rising.



I think that earth rising makes it more difficult, because Earth and Air are probably the most impersonal elements their is. Fire and water are a little more emotional and intuitive.

Sometimes when I'm in situations I have no control over that Virgo mask always comes up and people either think I'm super shy or a snob.

I think the question comes from the Libra, most definitely, always questioning and weighing the pros and cons of any situation. There is definitely a cloud of certainty that hangs over those with a Libra influence.
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Virgo07
@Virgo07
16 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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"Sometimes when I'm in situations I have no control over that Virgo mask always comes up and people either think I'm super shy or a snob."

i know that mask. the switch flips and its like a steel plate on your face. lately ive been trying to be as open and friendly as possible. i think about it constantly and make it a point to socialize a lot. you should give it a shot. 🙂
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i love ewe
@i love ewe
17 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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i feel like this sometimes. my cancer bestie brought this topic up one time and she has more friends than anybody i know. she was talking about how she talks and hangs out with everyone but that she can only count her real friends that she talks to about meaningful things on one hand. this made be feel better because i have only a few super close friends also. i don't think this is self absorbed either, i just don't think that every single person i meet is totally worth it
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ninjamu
@ninjamu
16 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

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i'm pretty sure this is typical of everyone for every sign. most ppl we encounter, even if we get along with them, are going to end up being merely acquaintances. i know a crap ton of ppl that i can go out and have a great time with. we can all even engage in meaningful, interesting, and stimulating conversation but that doesn't mean we're going to be close. in the end i only have about 3 close friends altogether that i can count on to be there through thick and thin. i can't even count on most of my family for that.
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xtina
@xtina
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Posted by Loyalist Rebel
I live in more than one country so it differs by the country. In Turkey I absolutely cannot connect with people. They are very unpredictable. It's like they think their shit doesn't stink. But in other countries like Ukraine Russia and Azerbaijan, I fully connect with people.

Maybe it's a country difference? Just like mine.




I would say that but, unfortunately, I haven't been outside the U.S. aside from Mexico TT__TT (don't judge!). But I definitely could see why cultural barriers could alienate anyone.

For me, though, I don't think this feeling of alienation discriminates towards anyone of any culture....
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ramfishtwins
@ramfishtwins
16 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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I feel like this often, Xtina. I did read sometime/somewhere that some Aries have this issue. I'm really not close to anyone anymore. I never stay in touch with people, can't do long distance relationships well, and generally have difficulties really connecting with people. It's odd, because I also know that Aries really thrives on personal connections...so why is it so tough for some of us to initiate or stay connected?
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xtina
@xtina
16 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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Posted by ramfishtwins
I feel like this often, Xtina. I did read sometime/somewhere that some Aries have this issue. I'm really not close to anyone anymore. I never stay in touch with people, can't do long distance relationships well, and generally have difficulties really connecting with people. It's odd, because I also know that Aries really thrives on personal connections...so why is it so tough for some of us to initiate or stay connected?




I completely agree with you, I think I read somewhere, too, that Aries are meant to roam alone (eventually). Yet, it is odd because Aries does symbolize the infant, which constantly needs attentions and connections.

I was thinking, for one to initiate a relationship there takes a lot of effort in the beginning to build those bridges; and sometimes its not so easy to relate to others. I personally feel if I try too hard to relate to someone I'm being fake or false, which is a dishonesty in of itself. Soooo maybe.... I'm not quite sure what I'm getting at here but I'm not even sure if it's even a good rationale for this inability to connect.
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youthful.foolishness
@youthful.foolishness
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I don't feel like I'm a walking contradiction.

I came from a densely populated and cosmoplitan country, and getting to know new ppl is very easy.
Being Aries, our over friendly and interactive nature also prompt me to have conversations with lots of different ppl, sharing a laugh and bouncing off ideas and opinions.
Despite that, I hardly connect make new deep connections too.
I speak with people, but most times they just don't "speak" to me on some levels.
That's it.

Now I am living in another country, where the culture is much more "closed".
I don't even go out much despite being a social creature, because I don't like to go out with ppl I can't connect with on certain levels.
Like you guys rightly put it, it's just too "fake" for our sincerity and straightforwardness. Pretending to be interested in someone else's life when I am really not is something beyond me and beneath me. I respect you as a individual even if we can't connect, so I don't try to "pretend" with you.

Not that I don't thrive when I meet ppl I can connect with!
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ramfishtwins
@ramfishtwins
16 Years1,000+ PostsAries

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"I don't even go out much despite being a social creature, because I don't like to go out with ppl I can't connect with on certain levels."

This is so me. When I think to myself I'd like to go out, there are very few people out there that I would actually call up and go out with because of the lack of connection.

I find myself being friendly once a rapport has been built. I wouldn't describe myself as a "people person" at all. Once I'm cool with you and like you, I could talk your ear off! Before that, I don't try and get close with you unless I see that's something you are interested in. For being a whole lot of Aries, you'd think I would be more comfortable with this.
I can be very friendly to strangers like when I'm working. It's not forced or anything, nor is it fake, but it's still very on the level and rarely goes deeper.
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VirgoHero
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I know I do. For me, its part of who I am and also by volition. To be blunt, I'm pretty picky of who I engage on a personal level. Thing is I'm an amazingly energetic person, big ass smile on my face most of the time, and people love me but I still find myself staying detached someone unless I find something interesting or engaging about them.

It's one of the things I immediately pick up on when I meet a gal. Is there a connection there at some level? And usually its found within the first 10 minutes of conversation.

The two things I look for in a woman:
1. Connection
2. To be inspired by them.

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Mars.In.Aries
@Mars.In.Aries
16 Years500+ PostsAries

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I have found that over time, as I've been growing, I find myself less and less wanting to be a social butterfly. I'ld rather a few friends that I can have a blast with, that are real, and that I can have a great conversation with, rather than party it up and get fucked up with a bunch of people that I'm aquaintence with.

I really enjoy meeting new people, but I am a detective and I can sense right off the bat if I would get along with you or not. Also, I have found that because I'm very direct and honest, people will try to go out of their way to try and "impress" me. If you are revealing too much of your life right off the bat, I'm going to be polite, but I won't call you up to have drinks with you.

Maybe I come across as a bitch.... but at least I'm real and I don't put up a front. I've just dealt with so many situations that I've learned and grown from, that I know that in the long run of things, it's better to be real up front, because you will know who will be there in the end.....
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Mars.In.Aries
@Mars.In.Aries
16 Years500+ PostsAries

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James Dean is a rebel without a cause... Aries.... we are rebels with a cause, and that comes with a lot of burdens. Yes, I stand up for my beliefs, and I can stand up for myself. I can take the kick of a horse, as the French will say..........

I don't know if this is an Aries trait or not, but I can see things from many different angles. I'm not easily swayed by emotional arguments. And it's not that I'm trying to play devil's advocate either.... I just look for all possibilities of the truth, and make my own conclusions based on my own logic. Most of my friends will seek advise becuase of this quality that I have. Plus, I don't bullshit. I will sugar coat, depending on who you are, but that is me just baiting someone into a verbal lashing on what I really think.......
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ramfishtwins
@ramfishtwins
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"I just look for all possibilities of the truth, and make my own conclusions based on my own logic. Most of my friends will seek advise becuase of this quality that I have. Plus, I don't bullshit. I will sugar coat, depending on who you are, but that is me just baiting someone into a verbal lashing on what I really think......."


Right on! It's like I almost poll people to see what they think of the situation to help determine my conclusion.
It's funny cause some of my friends can handle my advice and some can't.