Goddess Aries
@AprilFoolsUHoe
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 368 · Topics: 27
It's really lonely at the top....
Picking up your own broken pieces and putting the puzzle back by yourself. It's doable. But it would be nice to have a break sometimes, for someone to hold me up when I fall apart.
you need a holiday and to travel for a while. My Aries sister was like this! Put way too much pressure on herself to be the strong one and fit social standards. She went off and traveled and cut communication with everyone.... she found her equals in this life and is happier, more balanced and less fiery now for it.
Posted by Isabeau90I know for sure I need to get out again and go somewhere new and meet some new people and flirt with hot Caribbean guys and Brazilian women. But I have just pulled myself out of a deep suicidal depression recently, and I'm still depressed but very very inspired and motivated, I know I can fix my life and get back up. I just want the people in my life to put action into what they say, I want them to show me they care a song much as they claim with words, like if you care that much fucking help me. Sure I CAN do it myself but I still need help. A lot. If you care about me like you say, then be there, take the time out of your day to just let me be weak and fall apart for a little bit with It judgement.
you need a holiday and to travel for a while. My Aries sister was like this! Put way too much pressure on herself to be the strong one and fit social standards. She went off and traveled and cut communication with everyone.... she found her equals in this life and is happier, more balanced and less fiery now for it.
Travelling can help me with my own insight about life, but there will be times where I can't travel and am here again....I don't know how to deal with it.
?
Posted by TeenaHonestly, I really need one.
?
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI get it. I wish I could give you one. Hope it'll get better for you doll❤️Posted by TeenaHonestly, I really need one.
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Posted by TeenaIt will, It always gets better.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI get it. I wish I could give you one. Hope it'll get better for you doll❤️Posted by TeenaHonestly, I really need one.
?
click to expand
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeIt does. These thoughts don't last?Posted by TeenaIt will, It always gets better.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI get it. I wish I could give you one. Hope it'll get better for you doll❤️Posted by TeenaHonestly, I really need one.
?
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But like CC said, being vulnerable is strength too.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
And water sign friends are great...except I don't bode well with the men. The women are wonderful especially cancers and scorpio
Uplifting activities xx thats my advice. Aries friend got into Buddhism and it took away much of her Downing thoughts! She felt the support from those people.
im not telling you to choose a religion though lol but it could be something like the arts?
you know what your interests are and being surrounded by people with the same interests can help for a healthier mind..
As for people doing what they say they will and being there for you, its a harsh reality. people can be shit sometimes! but its nothing you can force to change in people... except doing what was said above, make yourself vulnerable and let your shields down.
I definitely think you need a new circle of people in your life though.
im not telling you to choose a religion though lol but it could be something like the arts?
you know what your interests are and being surrounded by people with the same interests can help for a healthier mind..
As for people doing what they say they will and being there for you, its a harsh reality. people can be shit sometimes! but its nothing you can force to change in people... except doing what was said above, make yourself vulnerable and let your shields down.
I definitely think you need a new circle of people in your life though.
Posted by Isabeau90Heh, I love comments like this. I actually go every Saturday to a Zen Buddhist meditational gathering, I won't say I'm a dedicated Buddhist but it is the religion I most relate to.
Uplifting activities xx thats my advice. Aries friend got into Buddhism and it took away much of her Downing thoughts! She felt the support from those people.
im not telling you to choose a religion though lol but it could be something like the arts?
you know what your interests are and being surrounded by people with the same interests can help for a healthier mind..
As for people doing what they say they will and being there for you, its a harsh reality. people can be shit sometimes! but its nothing you can force to change in people... except doing what was said above, make yourself vulnerable and let your shields down.
I definitely think you need a new circle of people in your life though.
And arts yes, I am actually quite heavily in the arts, I play multiple instruemts, compose, write songs, and am going to be starting dance again in a couple of weeks, and all my closest friends are in one way or another also very involved in arts. There's no real reason for me to be depressed or sad, I've picked my life up and fixed things a lot, it's not perfect but it's a lot better. I just have down moments and get really lonely when I realise I only have myself truly, even though a lot of people have me. And I know deep down that the charectistic traits I have that make me reliable will benefit me a ton, it also just sucks right now because I feel alone in it.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeStrong doesn't mean invincible.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeWhy are you so emotionally available to ppl who aren't available to you?Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
Maybe you shouldn't take time out for others aND take care of yourself or go see a therapist
Whelp all you're saying is how smart you are how much if a leader how strong yet you're crying life a little bytch here and you said you're depressed so...what's up with the facade
That's really irritating to readclick to expand
I'm strong because despite everything bad that has happened in my life I've pushed through and made more of myself and have risen to accomplish a lot for the places I'm in. I managed to pull through even with people constantly telling me to quit, or to dropout of high school, I've built myself back up from an abusive home, and got out. I have scars. I have hurt. I'm strong because I'm not going to let it stop me from going after my goals every day, but I'm lonely in it, and frustrated that no one really realises that I'm hurting as much as I am.
I'm not invincible. Don't read this if it's annoying you, that is not my problem.
But you're right about me not taking care of others. I talked about that recently with my mom who said I am always helping people who don't even help themselves just because I'm capable of it, she told me to stop and only focus on me. She is correct just like you are. It's just hard to watch others struggle to come to surface and watch them drown. I've been there, I've been in tough places, i want to be able to build those people up the way I needed. Some people just can't help themselves, i like to build them up and give them strength, but I'm not recovered yet and I need to fix myself before I fix others, and I totally agree with that. But it's still very lovely here,
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeOkay goodbye thenPosted by AprilFoolsUHoeManPosted by Isabeau90Heh, I love comments like this. I actually go every Saturday to a Zen Buddhist meditational gathering, I won't say I'm a dedicated Buddhist but it is the religion I most relate to.
Uplifting activities xx thats my advice. Aries friend got into Buddhism and it took away much of her Downing thoughts! She felt the support from those people.
im not telling you to choose a religion though lol but it could be something like the arts?
you know what your interests are and being surrounded by people with the same interests can help for a healthier mind..
As for people doing what they say they will and being there for you, its a harsh reality. people can be shit sometimes! but its nothing you can force to change in people... except doing what was said above, make yourself vulnerable and let your shields down.
I definitely think you need a new circle of people in your life though.
And arts yes, I am actually quite heavily in the arts, I play multiple instruemts, compose, write songs, and am going to be starting dance again in a couple of weeks, and all my closest friends are in one way or another also very involved in arts. There's no real reason for me to be depressed or sad, I've picked my life up and fixed things a lot, it's not perfect but it's a lot better. I just have down moments and get really lonely when I realise I only have myself truly, even though a lot of people have me. And I know deep down that the charectistic traits I have that make me reliable will benefit me a ton, it also just sucks right now because I feel alone in it.
Shut the fuck up
You're the opposite of genuine and full of yourself. If this is how you are in real life I wouldn't want to hear your shit either
I'm outclick to expand
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.click to expand
That kinda shows you never made real friends. Like they don't even know you. Maybe it's coz you never let them know you well.I'm the strong one among my friends too. Always there, always lending a shoulder to cry on, always listening to them n all.. but when I become vulnerable they sure do understand how serious it is n how deeply something is affecting me coz that's rare n they know exactly what to do. They know I can do without them too but they never left my side n of course I don't want them to. Maybe it depends on the kinda bond you form. Maybe you didn't let it happen the way it should..
Posted by TeenaThat's on me in that case. How do you build bonds like that? I've tried but maybe you're right and I'm just not doing it the correct way.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
That kinda shows you never made real friends. Like they don't even know you. Maybe it's coz you never let them know you well.I'm the strong one among my friends too. Always there, always lending a shoulder to cry on, always listening to them n all.. but when I become vulnerable they sure do understand how serious it is n how deeply something is affecting me coz that's rare n they know exactly what to do. They know I can do without them too but they never left my side n of course I don't want them to. Maybe it depends on the kinda bond you form. Maybe you didn't let it happen the way it should..
click to expand
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI was not the type who opened up with friends as well. But back then, I didn't allow any deep bonds(close yes, deep no)to form either.That changed with time. Took time but I changed. I hated people seeing my vulnerable side. I'm not too emotional to start with. But I didn't let my emotions flow even when I felt like it.I started being more expressive with time n my now bffs are the reason for that. In our nearly a decade of friendship, the no.of times I cried with them will not be more than 3-4 times at the most lol. But that's not coz I'm not expressive anymore... it's coz I'm not too emotional like I said. Ofcourse crying is not the only way to show your vulnerable side. They just know when I need them n when I'm ready to talk about something.I think it all starts with really letting yourself be understood...being expressive or vocal about what/how you feel initially atleast.The need to know you to handle that side of yours. You can't keep them in the dark about your vulnerable side, act all strong n then just throw it at them suddenly n expect them to understand n be there for you. It starts with the foundation.. accepting their real side n being able to show yours..Tbh I never analyzed all of this before.Posted by TeenaThat's on me in that case. How do you build bonds like that? I've tried but maybe you're right and I'm just not doing it the correct way.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
That kinda shows you never made real friends. Like they don't even know you. Maybe it's coz you never let them know you well.I'm the strong one among my friends too. Always there, always lending a shoulder to cry on, always listening to them n all.. but when I become vulnerable they sure do understand how serious it is n how deeply something is affecting me coz that's rare n they know exactly what to do. They know I can do without them too but they never left my side n of course I don't want them to. Maybe it depends on the kinda bond you form. Maybe you didn't let it happen the way it should..
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Posted by AprilFoolsUHoe
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways d
o, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
You are hurt. The rational solution to your problem is to surround yourself with people who are on your level and screen better in order to weed out the unreliable ones.
And if you never show your vulnerability people won`t see as a real person with weaknesses, insecurities and
needs. Imperfection makes you approachable and likeable. Not when you project the always perfect always independent powerwomen. People are drawn to imperfection and authenticity and realness. Note that when I say vulnerability I dont see venting and opening about personal crisis.
I am talking about honesty and putting yourself out there. When you are pissed off show it, when somebody attacks you (verbally) dont try to outwit him. Call him out on it. But thats a long term personal development goal. Just google words like honesty vulnerability, authenticity etc and find actionable advice for behavioral change.
Believe me most people wont judge you they will sympathize with you if you let them peak behind the curtain.
That tough unemotional independent women facade is not entirely authentic otherwise you wouldnt post here.
They probably think you dont mind or that your meetings witht them are not that important to you. Do they know that?
Also I think the key is to forget that you're on the top(or are different from the rest)... Really...You maybe on the top but that attitude is not gonna help. It may forever leave you feeling lonely..
Posted by TeenaClose but not deep....I've never thought of that before. But they really are very different. But you're right, it does usually come out suddenly, and it's probably not the easiest thing to handle well. This is great insight actually, thank you. I always feel like I'm open and vocalise things but when I think about it, I'm being close, not deep. I'm deep about other things or other people but I don't really get past that and I can see how that makes it hard to develop bonds. I do have that damned Aqua moon lol, but yes... I will try to be within more depth with people but I'm starting to think I need to take time to be lonely and eventually find people who I'm able to connect with. A tough reality.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI was not the type who opened up with friends as well. But back then, I didn't allow any deep bonds(close yes, deep no)to form either.That changed with time. Took time but I changed. I hated people seeing my vulnerable side. I'm not too emotional to start with. But I didn't let my emotions flow even when I felt like it.I started being more expressive with time n my now bffs are the reason for that. In our nearly a decade of friendship, the no.of times I cried with them will not be more than 3-4 times at the most lol. But that's not coz I'm not expressive anymore... it's coz I'm not too emotional like I said. Ofcourse crying is not the only way to show your vulnerable side. They just know when I need them n when I'm ready to talk about something.I think it all starts with really letting yourself be understood...being expressive or vocal about what/how you feel initially atleast.The need to know you to handle that side of yours. You can't keep them in the dark about your vulnerable side, act all strong n then just throw it at them suddenly n expect them to understand n be there for you. It starts with the foundation.. accepting their real side n being able to show yours..Tbh I never analyzed all of this before.Posted by TeenaThat's on me in that case. How do you build bonds like that? I've tried but maybe you're right and I'm just not doing it the correct way.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
That kinda shows you never made real friends. Like they don't even know you. Maybe it's coz you never let them know you well.I'm the strong one among my friends too. Always there, always lending a shoulder to cry on, always listening to them n all.. but when I become vulnerable they sure do understand how serious it is n how deeply something is affecting me coz that's rare n they know exactly what to do. They know I can do without them too but they never left my side n of course I don't want them to. Maybe it depends on the kinda bond you form. Maybe you didn't let it happen the way it should..
click to expand
Posted by ParkourlerThat makes a lot of sense as well, and you are entirely correct, but I a, quite vocal about those things. I don't usually attack at people but if I really don't like something I will step up and say it. Although it does come across quite bitchy,Posted by AprilFoolsUHoe
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways d
o, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
You are hurt. The rational solution to your problem is to surround yourself with people who are on your level and screen better in order to weed out the unreliable ones.
And if you never show your vulnerability people won`t see as a real person with weaknesses, insecurities and
needs. Imperfection makes you approachable and likeable. Not when you project the always perfect always independent powerwomen. People are drawn to imperfection and authenticity and realness. Note that when I say vulnerability I dont see venting and opening about personal crisis.
I am talking about honesty and putting yourself out there. When you are pissed off show it, when somebody attacks you (verbally) dont try to outwit him. Call him out on it. But thats a long term personal development goal. Just google words like honesty vulnerability, authenticity etc and find actionable advice for behavioral change.
Believe me most people wont judge you they will sympathize with you if you let them peak behind the curtain.
That tough unemotional independent women facade is not entirely authentic otherwise you wouldnt post here.
They probably think you dont mind or that your meetings witht them are not that important to you. Do they know that?
click to expand
And do they know how important it is to me? I don't know honestly..,I thought I made it clear that it was. I've talked one on one with some of the people I'm closest to and told them how certain things have upset me, and one recent incident is with the friend who I finally broke down and opened up to and she said she'd come to have a girls day with me the moment she was free, and never did, and I told her how it upset me and she kept making excuses, and I basically told her at that point that I'm not mad at her, I'm disappointed and very hurt, and that in that time i really did need it, and then I guess this could come off as not caring but I said that now I'm just doing my own thing and I'm not going to sit around and except for people to be there, because she was all like "I still want to see you and spend time with you" and I told her that I have things I've been planning to do, and she's welcome to join me if she wishes to, and I left it at that. Not much talking since, and I assume she either doesn't really care, or just isn't reliable, either way I don't really want that in my life. But it's hard to realise that a lot of people are this way.
I hope I don't come off as argumentive with you guys, I actually really appreciate and am taking in your insight, I'm actually thinking about things that I haven't before. It's good to listen to a mind besides my own once in a while, thank you for giving me opinions about this. I needed it a lot.
Posted by tizianiLol! I think so ,yes ?Posted by TeenaLike a glass ceiling above your head.
Also I think the key is to forget that you're on the top(or are different from the rest)... Really...You maybe on the top but that attitude is not gonna help. It may forever leave you feeling lonely..click to expand
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeThey really are two different things yes 🙂Posted by TeenaClose but not deep....I've never thought of that before. But they really are very different. But you're right, it does usually come out suddenly, and it's probably not the easiest thing to handle well. This is great insight actually, thank you. I always feel like I'm open and vocalise things but when I think about it, I'm being close, not deep. I'm deep about other things or other people but I don't really get past that and I can see how that makes it hard to develop bonds. I do have that damned Aqua moon lol, but yes... I will try to be within more depth with people but I'm starting to think I need to take time to be lonely and eventually find people who I'm able to connect with. A tough reality.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI was not the type who opened up with friends as well. But back then, I didn't allow any deep bonds(close yes, deep no)to form either.That changed with time. Took time but I changed. I hated people seeing my vulnerable side. I'm not too emotional to start with. But I didn't let my emotions flow even when I felt like it.I started being more expressive with time n my now bffs are the reason for that. In our nearly a decade of friendship, the no.of times I cried with them will not be more than 3-4 times at the most lol. But that's not coz I'm not expressive anymore... it's coz I'm not too emotional like I said. Ofcourse crying is not the only way to show your vulnerable side. They just know when I need them n when I'm ready to talk about something.I think it all starts with really letting yourself be understood...being expressive or vocal about what/how you feel initially atleast.The need to know you to handle that side of yours. You can't keep them in the dark about your vulnerable side, act all strong n then just throw it at them suddenly n expect them to understand n be there for you. It starts with the foundation.. accepting their real side n being able to show yours..Tbh I never analyzed all of this before.Posted by TeenaThat's on me in that case. How do you build bonds like that? I've tried but maybe you're right and I'm just not doing it the correct way.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by CaramelizedCoffeeWith your question of being strong but needy, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I don't need things. I'm still a person.
Also you need water sign friends they'll let you crumble abs I'll advice you to be open with people they might not know what you need. Be vulnerable.
That's strength.
And that's the thing, I do let them know sometimes if things get bad, maybe I play it off a little more than I should but I do say something. One of my closest friends, I finally had enough and I was just telling her how I felt really lost with everything and was in a bad spot, and I think she realised that I was actually truly hurting rather than just being low-key, and she told me she'd make time to spend a day with me and have girl time as soon as she was free, and she had a bunch of time and over a month later not a thing about it. That's not care in my eyes, and it took a lot for me to open up to her, and I felt like I could, but here's more than just talking I need when I open up to someone, I need a friend, a family. Someone who is willing to just be there and sit with me or hold my hand while I cry and tell me that they understand or that I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine, I know it'll pass but it's nice to have that, and when someone tells you they'll be there, and proves to not be reliable, and when a bunch of peoooe everywhere prove the same thing, it gets really lonely, especially when you have people going to you and you always keep to your word. It hurts. I put a lot into everything and everyone in my life, I constantly am working at my personal life and career, and that includes taking the time out for those I care about to spend a little time to see them smile and make good memories. But I'm just the fun one, or the smart one, the leader of my life, no one seems to see me as an equally vulnerable person even when I open up. I need a little love too.
That kinda shows you never made real friends. Like they don't even know you. Maybe it's coz you never let them know you well.I'm the strong one among my friends too. Always there, always lending a shoulder to cry on, always listening to them n all.. but when I become vulnerable they sure do understand how serious it is n how deeply something is affecting me coz that's rare n they know exactly what to do. They know I can do without them too but they never left my side n of course I don't want them to. Maybe it depends on the kinda bond you form. Maybe you didn't let it happen the way it should..
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Yup. Maybe take some time off and then try connecting with new people in a new environment. That's how it started for me too.
Posted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by ParkourlerThat makes a lot of sense as well, and you are entirely correct, but I a, quite vocal about those things. I don't usually attack at people but if I really don't like something I will step up and say it. Although it does come across quite bitchy,Posted by AprilFoolsUHoe
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways d
o, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
You are hurt. The rational solution to your problem is to surround yourself with people who are on your level and screen better in order to weed out the unreliable ones.
And if you never show your vulnerability people won`t see as a real person with weaknesses, insecurities and
needs. Imperfection makes you approachable and likeable. Not when you project the always perfect always independent powerwomen. People are drawn to imperfection and authenticity and realness. Note that when I say vulnerability I dont see venting and opening about personal crisis.
I am talking about honesty and putting yourself out there. When you are pissed off show it, when somebody attacks you (verbally) dont try to outwit him. Call him out on it. But thats a long term personal development goal. Just google words like honesty vulnerability, authenticity etc and find actionable advice for behavioral change.
Believe me most people wont judge you they will sympathize with you if you let them peak behind the curtain.
That tough unemotional independent women facade is not entirely authentic otherwise you wouldnt post here.
They probably think you dont mind or that your meetings witht them are not that important to you. Do they know that?
And do they know how important it is to me? I don't know honestly..,I thought I made it clear that it was. I've talked one on one with some of the people I'm closest to and told them how certain things have upset me, and one recent incident is with the friend who I finally broke down and opened up to and she said she'd come to have a girls day with me the moment she was free, and never did, and I told her how it upset me and she kept making excuses, and I basically told her at that point that I'm not mad at her, I'm disappointed and very hurt, and that in that time i really did need it, and then I guess this could come off as not caring but I said that now I'm just doing my own thing and I'm not going to sit around and except for people to be there, because she was all like "I still want to see you and spend time with you" and I told her that I have things I've been planning to do, and she's welcome to join me if she wishes to, and I left it at that. Not much talking since, and I assume she either doesn't really care, or just isn't reliable, either way I don't really want that in my life. But it's hard to realise that a lot of people are this way.click to expand
That`s why I consider nobody a friend and always on probation until they took a stand for me when the shit hits the fan. And I refer you back to tip one. Screen better. I do that by giving them power. I drop some compromising information and see if they use it for their personal gain. Churchill said if you want to see the true character of people you give them power. Sorry I am a guy. We are less validating.
Posted by tizianiNo one can understand it all, but it's always interesting to learn about it, i do the same thing if I really don't relate to a situation.
I wouldn't know what to say because I've had people describe the same kind of spot they find themselves in, that you're describing and I never understood. I liked reading the thread though, it made me think. And I'm posting this just to say Caribbean guys and Brazilian women sounds like as good a plan as any. Can't hurt.
And yes, it's a goal of mine. And maybe rendez-vous a little but with some food in Europe 😉 I think it'll be a good plan.
Posted by m200991Actually I don't ink any of those things, I found this to be a very well thought out post and I really appreciate your insight.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeI'm going to start this reply off by saying: Each and every fiber of my being is telling me that posting a response will be little more than wasted time and/or effort on my part, as anything I may (or may not) say will only be met with stern opposition. I'd love to be proven wrong; however, if I am not... I've come to terms with it already.
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways do, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
Now.... to address your post.
"I'm not sure if this is just an Aries thing or what it is." This is not an Aries thing. That's not to say that being an Aries doesn't contribute in some way; however, 'this' is seemingly (to me) a Sociological 'thing' which could easily pertain to all Astrological Signs. I'd wager most initial reactions would be to say 'this' is a Psychological 'thing', perhaps Affected Overconfidence stemmed from Illusory Superiority or something; however, your willful display of vulnerability and weakness proves contrary.
"... ... ...of my friends." We are a reflection of those around us and the company in which we keep, so it should in no way surprise you when you're not meeting individuals up to your standards, when those around you, are also not up to those standards. Now, I'm not saying get rid of your friends or anything. What I'm actually saying is that there is (quite possibly) an overlooked reason that has made it okay for these traits to be acceptable of your friends that aren't there for a partner. Why is that?
"...everyone just aren't reliable..." Please attempt to limit this way of absolute thinking, especially as it pertains to people. You'll be extremely hard pressed to find anyone that's always anything. This way of thinking can result in a reduced ability for a person to trust or rely on another individual. This may not sound harmful in the context you expressed it in; though, it can often (and quickly) branch into other areas of life (ie relationships, family, long-term happiness).
"... I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely." This will sound a**hole-ish, and it's supposed to. No to be mean/rude, but to force you to take a step back to assess things. I have NO pity for the self-inflicted, nor do most people. Now... I'm sure you're like "I didn't ask anyone to pity me!", but yes... yes you did; implicitly. So, what do you find to be more important to you? 'Feeling your fire' or not being lonely, and no... it doesn't have to be one or the other, but you, yourself, have to find that balance. You are the Ambassador for your own happiness.
"... no one is really there the way I am for them, ..." No. No, they aren't. It's like that for everyone. The thing of it is... they are there for you in ways that you can't be for yourself, or you wouldn't need them there in the first place. That's the beauty of how this works.
"... promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me." You need to make sure that you communicate this to your friends so that they are made aware. You can't hold them responsible for causing you to feel a specific way when they don't even know they're doing it. You are essentially helping yourself hurt if you haven't done that. If you have communicated it to them, and allow it... you are still facilitating them to hurt you by doing nothing about it.
"... Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart ..." This shouldn't be something you have to consciously do or something that is forced. If it is, you are not being your genuine self, but the person in which you believe you have to be. That's societal propaganda. Don't buy into it. Be who you are, always, then people are less likely to be taken aback the times you choose to show said vulnerability.
"... tell me that it's okay..." For what very little it may be worth. This is me, telling you, that it will be okay.
"Why the fuck is that so hard?" Truth be told... it isn't. Society, Culture, Family, etc. have shaped our beliefs of what it is we think we need to be. What it is we think happiness looks like. What independence looks like. As well as a nearly immeasurable number of other things. Well, allow me to let you know that it is not their life. What they think about ______ doesn't mean anything if it doesn't align with who you are and what you truly feel/believe. You need to get out there and live the life you want to live and be the person you truly are; unapologetically. You could be walking by dozens of people who may truly, honestly, deeply want to get to know you, but can't because this image you are wearing because of some societal belief won't allow it.
Even if you think I'm wrong... crazy.... stupid.... whatever... about all of this... don't you at least owe it to yourself to consider and at least try it. I mean... if you're not happy as is... you don't really have too much to lose, but all that much more to gain if I'm not wrong... crazy... stupid... or whatever.
I wish you luck and happiness in the future. There is no obligation, and you are free or consequence, to do anything (or nothing) with what I've written... either way, make it count.
Kev/m200991click to expand
There is some underlying reason why I allow myself to have people in my life that I don't really feel care that much, and I hope to find the strength to overcome it. I don't know why I do that, I really wish I did, maybe it's some hidden insecurity I have, I generally feel pretty confident about things and outcomes but I do not think it's okay, and I agree with what you said in that.
With the absolute thinking, that's actually someing ive noticed also, and have at times realised was wrong of me to say "always" "never" "no one" "everyone" because it's not true, and you're right, that's a bad habit I really need to work on, and in fact will right now put that in my planner as a reminder. I think it's a very unhealthy habit, thank you for bringing that to my attention.
I meant to say feeding my own fire, not feeling. Although I do feel the smoke of me burning myself out, my point in that was, I'm very capable. I'm not really asking for guidance or someone to do anything for me, I feel like no one should have to do anything I can do for myself, I have a brain, two arms and two legs, I'm capable. I just get tired of always feeding my own fire in the sense, always being the one who sparks the fire, and feeds the coal. The only time I'll expect someone to do something is if they tell me they will, and when they don't I get really hurt by it. Otherwise this is why I feel very al Me, I don't really expect anyone to push me when I'm down and give me back some love, i could really use it though at times, and really wish that was understood and if it seemed not I guess maybe I really am just not expressing myself the right way. I just feel lonely in that. I want it but I'm not going to sit there and expect it and it's a reality I'm having difficulty with.
And maybe you're right about me showing my vulnerable side, I only do it when I'm conscious that I'm doing it. But I don't really get how else I'd do it, the rest of the time I pretty much just work on stuff and go to events and such. I don't really sit down and talk about much, I just feel like it's too much to even try to talk about, no one would really understand, or have the time to.
And thank you, it will be okay. I appreciate that a lot.
And you're also right about the society shaping how people act. I usually don't really care about opinions and will do whatever I Damn well please and speak my highly unpopular opinions, but I do to a point conform and try to mask myself. Not exactly to
Appear perfect or strong, Moreso than to appeal to success. I like being accomplished, I like to move forward and ahead in things and I find that you have to out up a very untouched persona to make it up. Let things run down your back like a duck type of thing. Sometimes things do roll down, but sometimes they don't but I have to act past it because there is an end goal and letting myself cry over little inconveniences isn't going to cut it in the real world. That's life, and I know I have to conform to an extent and maybe it's costing me deep relationships with people, and making me lonely, and That's on me and really sucks. But I don't think I can be happy with myself if I allow my personal things to get in the way of my achievements.
Sounds like the typical Aries.
I read somewhere that the biggest difference between an Aries and Cap after climbing to the top are:
Aries: Finally at the top!... Wait. There's no one. I feel restless because it's probably the end of an adventure, let's climb down and start somewhere fresh and new and climb again!
Cap: Finally at the top, so nice, just gonna enjoy myself at the top here with no one. Tranquillity is finally achieved here.
I read somewhere that the biggest difference between an Aries and Cap after climbing to the top are:
Aries: Finally at the top!... Wait. There's no one. I feel restless because it's probably the end of an adventure, let's climb down and start somewhere fresh and new and climb again!
Cap: Finally at the top, so nice, just gonna enjoy myself at the top here with no one. Tranquillity is finally achieved here.
Posted by ParkourlerPosted by AprilFoolsUHoePosted by ParkourlerThat makes a lot of sense as well, and you are entirely correct, but I a, quite vocal about those things. I don't usually attack at people but if I really don't like something I will step up and say it. Although it does come across quite bitchy,Posted by AprilFoolsUHoe
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways d
o, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
You are hurt. The rational solution to your problem is to surround yourself with people who are on your level and screen better in order to weed out the unreliable ones.
And if you never show your vulnerability people won`t see as a real person with weaknesses, insecurities and
needs. Imperfection makes you approachable and likeable. Not when you project the always perfect always independent powerwomen. People are drawn to imperfection and authenticity and realness. Note that when I say vulnerability I dont see venting and opening about personal crisis.
I am talking about honesty and putting yourself out there. When you are pissed off show it, when somebody attacks you (verbally) dont try to outwit him. Call him out on it. But thats a long term personal development goal. Just google words like honesty vulnerability, authenticity etc and find actionable advice for behavioral change.
Believe me most people wont judge you they will sympathize with you if you let them peak behind the curtain.
That tough unemotional independent women facade is not entirely authentic otherwise you wouldnt post here.
They probably think you dont mind or that your meetings witht them are not that important to you. Do they know that?
And do they know how important it is to me? I don't know honestly..,I thought I made it clear that it was. I've talked one on one with some of the people I'm closest to and told them how certain things have upset me, and one recent incident is with the friend who I finally broke down and opened up to and she said she'd come to have a girls day with me the moment she was free, and never did, and I told her how it upset me and she kept making excuses, and I basically told her at that point that I'm not mad at her, I'm disappointed and very hurt, and that in that time i really did need it, and then I guess this could come off as not caring but I said that now I'm just doing my own thing and I'm not going to sit around and except for people to be there, because she was all like "I still want to see you and spend time with you" and I told her that I have things I've been planning to do, and she's welcome to join me if she wishes to, and I left it at that. Not much talking since, and I assume she either doesn't really care, or just isn't reliable, either way I don't really want that in my life. But it's hard to realise that a lot of people are this way.
That`s why I consider nobody a friend and always on probation until they took a stand for me when the shit hits the fan. And I refer you back to tip one. Screen better. I do that by giving them power. I drop some compromising information and see if they use it for their personal gain. Churchill said if you want to see the true character of people you give them power. Sorry I am a guy. We are less validating.
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This is great advise. I do tend to be quite easily accepting and opening of others, and I should definitely filter through who I do and don't allow close to me. I do start to cut people out when they refuse to help themselves. I'll help you up if you'll push forward with me, and I'll still be there if you go against what's good for you and wait for you to come around, but where I draw the line is if you do nothin and are lazy and incompetent. But there are other thin stuff I should factor in, like loyalty, consistency.
Thank y U, good advise, I'll think about doing this, and see how it plays out,
Posted by m200991Thank you for that. I think I would like you and admire your intellect.Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeYou know, and this may sound strange, but...
Appear perfect or strong, Moreso than to appeal to success. I like being accomplished, I like to move forward and ahead in things and I find that you have to out up a very untouched persona to make it up. Let things run down your back like a duck type of thing. Sometimes things do roll down, but sometimes they don't but I have to act past it because there is an end goal and letting myself cry over little inconveniences isn't going to cut it in the real world. That's life, and I know I have to conform to an extent and maybe it's costing me deep relationships with people, and making me lonely, and That's on me and really sucks. But I don't think I can be happy with myself if I allow my personal things to get in the way of my achievements.
If I were to have met you in real life, and in an environment where you (for whatever reason) weren't as upfront, open, or honest about your thoughts/feelings the way you have been here... I'm not sure I would like you that much.
I think you shine more than you realize the more you open yourself up. You wear 'The Human Condition' well.
*Post Edit*
I think that (what I said above) came off wrong, and not at all how I meant it, haha. I blame it being 3 am my time.
What I meant was... None of the positives you said about yourself was what drove me to respond to you; rather, it was everything you allowed yourself to say (that had nothing to do with the positives) that did. That is why I said, "I think you shine more than you realize".
So, now that I hopefully sound less crazy... I'm off. Take Care.click to expand
And yes, I don't always come off well to others, many people don't like me at first, but once they open up to me a little more they usually end up liking me a lot because they see I deeply care about them. Not the best for impressions, but I don't think I'm all that bad 😉
Well anyways, I appreciate all the night, once again. I am going to take a lot of time to think about the productive things that have been said here, and I appreciate the people who took their time to try to understand me and give me a point of view on how I can work through it and fix it. I will take a little time to myself to do that, and if it plays out well I'm make a thread about it. Otherwise I'm not going to continue respinding on here, but I do want you to know I did take a lot of things to heart here, and it most certainly isn't just wasted time. I feel a LOT better about things.
Insight* not night
Posted by TauruswithspunkI resonate to this. I was reflecting everything spoken about in this thread while out swimming with friends today, and I realised something my best friend said. He's also an aries and very independent but not very reliable (very irritating to handle sometimes!!) but we have some very long and deep talks, and once in a while we will talk about social or personal issues like this, and he told me actually a week ago that he always was the person people would go to but then began to realise that not only are others not reliable to go to, but they aren't nearly as helpful as he is to himself, no one can help you with words, no one can help you more than you, and he took that to heart and truly keeps all his problems inward and fixes them himself most of the time. Usually someone can pick up on times he is down and cheer him up if he needs a push. That really hit me. And sure it's lonely but I really have to realise I am my best go to person, as long as I am honest with myself and really listen to myself. It may suck but it's life and I need to rely on me. There's nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with helping others so long As it doesn't hurt me.
This is so me! I'm always the one they lean on but NEVER have someone to run to and I think because I'm independent and feel like I don't wanna burden people I take my own shit into my own hands. I'm glad that I can be relied on... this is probably why I segregate myself so much... I hybernaye a lot... because I tend to soak up everyone's emotions and issues whenever they see me it's like I need to be a rock or their solitude. It's a great thing to be needed! But you will never have anyone to lean on because you are so independent. Sometimes our roles in life are already set... you are meant to be the guider... you are meant to help others and give them strength... you already have enough to give which is why you don't fall or never fail because it was already written before you were born that it was your fate. Accept your gift and channel it for better.
Posted by TauruswithspunkWe are all amazing in our own waysPosted by AprilFoolsUHoeAmen. You are the strength. You feel like you may need it but you don't... you are the strength and that's why you have so much to give. Sometimes I'm like why me!! I can have $ 1 to my name and no one would know it. I wouldn't call a soul! Yet I'll come up with $ 20 to give the next... you are source of resolutions. The most broken can never fix themselves but will always heal everyone else. The best gift of all! You are amazing.Posted by TauruswithspunkI resonate to this. I was reflecting everything spoken about in this thread while out swimming with friends today, and I realised something my best friend said. He's also an aries and very independent but not very reliable (very irritating to handle sometimes!!) but we have some very long and deep talks, and once in a while we will talk about social or personal issues like this, and he told me actually a week ago that he always was the person people would go to but then began to realise that not only are others not reliable to go to, but they aren't nearly as helpful as he is to himself, no one can help you with words, no one can help you more than you, and he took that to heart and truly keeps all his problems inward and fixes them himself most of the time. Usually someone can pick up on times he is down and cheer him up if he needs a push. That really hit me. And sure it's lonely but I really have to realise I am my best go to person, as long as I am honest with myself and really listen to myself. It may suck but it's life and I need to rely on me. There's nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with helping others so long As it doesn't hurt me.
This is so me! I'm always the one they lean on but NEVER have someone to run to and I think because I'm independent and feel like I don't wanna burden people I take my own shit into my own hands. I'm glad that I can be relied on... this is probably why I segregate myself so much... I hybernaye a lot... because I tend to soak up everyone's emotions and issues whenever they see me it's like I need to be a rock or their solitude. It's a great thing to be needed! But you will never have anyone to lean on because you are so independent. Sometimes our roles in life are already set... you are meant to be the guider... you are meant to help others and give them strength... you already have enough to give which is why you don't fall or never fail because it was already written before you were born that it was your fate. Accept your gift and channel it for better.
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Posted by AprilFoolsUHoeOut of sheer curiosity: what's your Moon? Also in what April day were you born?
I'm not sure if this is just an aries thing or what it is.
I'm not at the top, but I'm probably one of the highest achievers I know, I also am the most reliable and competent of my friends. It also makes me very impatient to incompetence and people who aren't dependable. I notice too many of everyone just aren't reliable at all.
It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways do, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?
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It's a very lonely fact because I'm here working at everything pushing myself feeling my own fire. But sometimes I get really just...sad and lonely. And I get depressed and I realise that no one is really there the way I am for them, people just don't hold to their words. I know I seem tough and like nothing can break my surface, I know I seem like a powerful woman, but when I'm feeling down and one of my friends promises to take time out to spend with me...it means everything, and I mean everything, to me. It means so much to me to have someone there, to show me that someone else cares about me than just me to take the time out. But then they flake out, and it breaks my heart a little bit. Those little thing should mean so much to me, a solider, a warrior. I'm a warrrior, and I look like one...but even when. Show my vulnerable side no one takes it to heart because I "get past" it and move forward....I know I do but that doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart that no one lets me be vulnerable and weak sometimes and just lean on them. Everyone go ahead and lean on me, I'm the strong one, I'm the easer, I get it. But I'm a person. I'm a human, I hurt too. Just like you I want someone to hold me up and wipe my tears and tell me that it's okay. I can fix my own problems, I a,ways do, I always figure solutions out, but I just want to be able to rely on SOMEONE. Trust they'll keep their word, someone who can look past the surface and see when I'm hurting and let me be a kid in that moment and nurture me.
Why the fuck is that so hard?