Need some help on this confusing situation with Aries Man

Our charts:

Me (F/28):

Rising Virgo

Sun Virgo

Moon Scorpio

Mercury Virgo

Venus Leo

Mars Taurus

Him (M/29):

Rising Not sure, may be Leo

Sun Aries

Moon Leo

Mercury Taurus

Venus Aries

Mars Gemini

Hi all, I need some outside perspective on this confusing situation with Aries man. We were together for 2 years. Our relationship was honestly pretty great, minus the small arguments and misunderstandings that we always seemed to fix before they got worse. When we met, it was like electricity and the closest thing I've felt to love at first sight. I knew from our second date that he was my one, or at least the man I'd actually be happy to marry for the rest of my life. Throughout our relationship, he expressed similar feelings, hinting that he could see us marrying, talking about moving in together and traveling together. Our sex life was great and we were just generally happy. We just... got each other so well.

This past summer, I noticed that our sex life was kind of waning, but we still spent plenty of time together and always made time to cuddle and be intimate. We didn't get to find as much time to date each other like we used to, due to work, our conflicting schedules. He was feeling stress at work (he's a FF/Paramedic) and he had just moved into an apartment with a new roommate, which was causing issues. I was also feeling some stress because I was trying to find new housing and wasn't happy with my current situation. Still, I think we tried to constantly be there for each other.

Sometime in October, Aries man had a massive falling out with is roommate. He had already been growing a little distant, but still made efforts to see me and speak to me. Then after the falling out, he didn't speak to me for a week. This has happened maybe once before, where his life got so disheveled that he ignored me for a week and I made myself give him space (but explained that if needed it, all he had to do was tell me). Then I finally reached out to him to ask him if everything was okay, and he told me we would talk soon. I could see on social media he was spending time with his friends, and I figured it was needed after the things he went through. However, when we finally met up, he began to tell me that he wasn't sure of our relationship anymore, that he wasn't sure of the connection between us and that he was bored (typical). I told him that I was experiencing boredom as well, but figured it was a rut we could fix, that I wanted to discuss our lack of sex recently and that we needed to communicate. I was upset because he didn’t stop to think that I could be feeling tr same way. I’m a Virgo, but I love intensity, passion, and attention. Most of my time is spent being incredibly active and pushing myself into new things. He wasn't sure what he wanted and felt the only option he knew was to break up. We kept talking, and I told him I didn't want to, but I couldn't work on a relationship on my own. We were both extremely upset, crying and holding each other. It seemed like he didn't want to end it but didn't want to be in the relationship either. He told me to give him some time but that we could still talk. Then we both said we loved each other before he left.

This was probably the worst heartbreak I have ever experienced. I ended up moving into my own apartment and went no contact for nearly two weeks with him because I was so depressed. I knew I needed to focus on myself, but eventually reached back out to him after I finished moving. Surprisingly he responded, and began the very slow process of talking to each other again.

We met up for dinner early November and he gave me a huge hug, telling me that he had missed me. He wanted us to be able to talk again and to work on seeing each other more and working on our communication. I was incredibly relieved to hear this, told him I felt the same. However, it's been incredibly difficult to really get in touch with him. We'll text at times, then I won't hear from him for a few days. He'll reach out, I'll take my time to text back. We'll have ardent conversation then back to nothing. I suggest we go out and of course he's incredibly busy. We went out for a movie after thanksgiving, and it felt great again. I reiterate that I want to be able to spend more time with him when he has the time. He holds my hands and tells me that we will be seeing each other.

Flash forward three weeks, we finally get to see each other again for a concert. He isn't able to meet for dinner due to finances, so I ask if he's okay with me coming to his apartment with beer before we leave. I reiterate that I'll leave after we get back. He's okay with this, so I go over to his apartment. Again, we're completely relaxed around each other, catching up, etc. We've both have lost weight and our in great shape, I show off my new hair style . We play video games (as we used to do often), he shows me his room, and just enjoy our time before we leave. We go to the club for the s how, realize that we hated it there, decide to leave on a whim, and end up at another bar. We spend this time chatting more, but never really go into depth about us or where we stand. Before we leave, Aries man suggests that he's okay with me staying over as driving back in the rain while drinking wouldn't be idea. I think on it and take him up on his offer as I had been drinking. We get back, he warms me up some food. I can't help but think about how familiar this all feels, and it makes me even more confused. He offers for me to either sleep on the couch or in his bed, and says he doesn't care either way. I tell him if he's' okay with it, I wouldn't mind the bed, thinking he'd take the couch. He tells me that's probably a wise choice (since his roommate had a party recently). I'm nervous, but we head back to his room. We're both in his bed and watch anime (another of our favorite pasttimes) and while we aren't touching, we're both incredibly relaxed. He again comments that he notices I've gotten more lean. We eventually fall asleep. At one point I do wake up to see he has his arm resting against me, if for at least a few minutes. We wake up the next morning and he has to go to the gym before meeting with friends. I get dressed and thank him for allowing me to sleep in his bed, which surprised me. He asked why, but gave me a huge hug. I told him I had a great time with him again even if we didn't see the concert we planned. He told me he felt the same, and that he wanted to see my new apartment. I told him I'd like to make him dinner. We keep hugging and I realize we're both kind of stalling. At one point while hugging, he kisses my neck.

I get home and let him know again that I had a great time. That we should go see another concert in January and that I'd like to see him before then too. He says we definitely should, he's all about it and that dinner should be involved.

But now we're back to today, where he's again not as responsive to the few texts I've sent him. I guess I just don't know where we actually stand with each other. I try not to come off as desperate around him; I spend a lot of time focusing on myself and moving forward with the best of my ability. But the truth is I miss him so much. I hadn't been able to stop loving him, and this weekend made me remember why I still do. It just never feels wrong with him, and even though I feel like I shouldn't have slept in his bed, even though it was comforting. I think it just made things more confusing for me. I don't even know if he wants to commit to me again, and I'm not too naive to believe he isn't talking to other women possibly. It's just hard, and I think I just need some clarity out of this confusion. Why tell me he wants to get closer again and work on our communication when he rather ignore me half the time? I think he still cares about me, but at the same time, caring doesn’t mean you can’t hurt another person. All I do know is that I love him and would love to try again at some point.

It sounds a little like you are afraid to make a move in case you risk losing him? I’m thinking about this from the other way round, when “nice guys” are so accommodating that they don’t dare say anything bad. Eventually they come across a bit boring and get dumped? You obviously love him, but you have to love yourself too, you must think what’s best for yourself too, and what you want. Did you want sex that night? If so then you should have tried.

I think we’ve all been here, and you must have been here before too, you get dumped, or you have a fear of being dumped, and you become too cautious? And this itself leads to the relationship ending. So.. somehow you need to be a bit more positive, confident about it, you need to throw a spanner in the works somehow, to make it more exciting.

It doesn’t matter how much you love anyone, if this relationship ends, then it will not be the end of the world.

I think it’s a difficult situation, and I’m just offering my opinion (maybe I’m wrong).

The dates, are they predictable? If you’ve done something once then try to do something else. Aries usually like spontaneity and adventure. I’m saying this because you mention the word “bored”.. you need to be more unpredictable, when you arrange to do something change it last minute to something else, throw him off guard. If he suggests something, think of something else and suggest what you want back. He does stuff for you, it cannot always be you accomodating him.

Posted by AriesJo

It sounds a little like you are afraid to make a move in case you risk losing him? I’m thinking about this from the other way round, when “nice guys” are so accommodating that they don’t dare say anything bad. Eventually they come across a bit boring and get dumped? You obviously love him, but you have to love yourself too, you must think what’s best for yourself too, and what you want. Did you want sex that night? If so then you should have tried.

I think we’ve all been here, and you must have been here before too, you get dumped, or you have a fear of being dumped, and you become too cautious? And this itself leads to the relationship ending. So.. somehow you need to be a bit more positive, confident about it, you need to throw a spanner in the works somehow, to make it more exciting.

It doesn’t matter how much you love anyone, if this relationship ends, then it will not be the end of the world.

I think it’s a difficult situation, and I’m just offering my opinion (maybe I’m wrong).

The dates, are they predictable? If you’ve done something once then try to do something else. Aries usually like spontaneity and adventure. I’m saying this because you mention the word “bored”.. you need to be more unpredictable, when you arrange to do something change it last minute to something else, throw him off guard. If he suggests something, think of something else and suggest what you want back. He does stuff for you, it cannot always be you accomodating him.

Thanks for responding. I did actually want sex that night. That evening I suggested dinner and he wasn't sure if he could financially swing it, so instead I offered to come over with alcohol. And when the club concert didn't work out, it was me suggesting we find a bar or another club to venture to. I don't know if sex would have completely happened because we both passed out pretty quickly, but before I left, I wanted to kiss him. I think I'm slightly kicking myself that I didn't. When we hugged, I did caress him quite a bit and kiss him on the neck as well. I think this does leave more room for me to try the next time. But you're not wrong. I think I'm being too cautious because I have this wall up. Before I could try anything and not feel fear that I'd be rejected. Since he was the one who wanted to originally initiate the break up, I kind of built up a wall out of fear of being rejected again. I think I'm trying to rebuild trust within myself again. I keep telling myself that the worst pretty much happened already, and whatever happens now is up in the air. I can feel confident

I think I'm finding it hard to be spontaneous things because he'll have plans already laid out in advance with friends.I've asked on occasion if he's free so I can just suggest something for us to do, but he wouldn't be available. I can only ask so often before I start to feel like I'm putting myself out there too much. But I'm taking this to heart. To not be so accommodating and to just put myself out there without fear.

😣 aww man virgo girl

Ur bringing back the exact feelings I had before we were together. Listen Aries can make us feel so insecure. So the walls like u said. Ur looking for reassurance and his independence doesn’t cuddle insecurity.

I went thro the same thing. Eventually him making me feel invisible pissed me off...and I was no longer willing to be giving or helpful or accommodating to his needs...I literally didn’t give a shit anymore He was breaking my confidence an I wasn’t gonna just be polite about it anymore.

Good luck virgo girl

Aries men are one of our worst heartbreaks😣

Pm if u need to chat...I know this feeling

Cyber hugs 🤗

I didn’t read this but saw it was Virgo/ Aries so

I have no advice atm but this is so beautiful

Posted by Sunsetvirgo

I didn’t read this but saw it was Virgo/ Aries so

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Posted by xoxflute

Oh my... my astro twin and also 29. xD Is he also a 3rd decan (approx April 10th to 19th) Aries born in 1989? 😛

Yes he is actually.. Born April 13.

Posted by xoxflute

"Why tell me he wants to get closer again and work on our communication when he rather ignore me half the time?"

---> Taurus Mercury always tends to communicate with a purpose and processes communication in a similar way (looks for the underlying motivation). Those kind of words, I don't think he would carelessly use, especially to his ex.

---> But the response time varies usually on topic and the other person. The more uncertainty involved in the thought process, the longer the response time. In this case, the only exception here is his Aries Venus, which makes him want to respond sooner than later if the other person is someone he has feelings for. If that feeling is gone, so is that compelling reason.

---> Leo Moon and Gem Mars complicates it as both adds a lot of unnecessary internal dialogue that never gets spoken or written. This probably means that part of the reason he takes longer time might be because he sometimes has trouble finding the right wording. If he has the square aspect (orb degree of around 5 degrees), which I don't, then the conflict between the Moon and Mercury is much stronger (see below link).

https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Planet-Aspects/Moon-Square-Mercury

IMO

Thank you for providing some breakdown. I kind of figured that while I'm sure he cares about me, his feelings aren't as fervent as they were for me in the beginning. It's hard to go from talking through text and on the phone every day to some texing once every other day or every two days. When we do get to be together in person, it doesn't feel that way at all. But I'm assuming he's the "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person until something triggers him to reach out. I do believe that he'd like to fix things in some capacity, but not sure if he's as motivated as he says. It's that disconnect that makes it hard for me.

Anything else you can share, so you have similar charts?

Posted by Earthy

😣 aww man virgo girl

Ur bringing back the exact feelings I had before we were together. Listen Aries can make us feel so insecure. So the walls like u said. Ur looking for reassurance and his independence doesn’t cuddle insecurity.

I went thro the same thing. Eventually him making me feel invisible pissed me off...and I was no longer willing to be giving or helpful or accommodating to his needs...I literally didn’t give a shit anymore He was breaking my confidence an I wasn’t gonna just be polite about it anymore.

Good luck virgo girl

Aries men are one of our worst heartbreaks😣

Pm if u need to chat...I know this feeling

Cyber hugs 🤗

Thanks lovely! *hugs* My other placements keep me pretty motivated to be independent and continue improving upon myself, but I just can't really let him go. At the very least, neither of us have completely let go. But I'm having a hard time feeling less control in this situation. I just have a thing for aries, but for this one person in particular. He was essentially my person, and I felt that way from our very first date (like an electric spark went off when we first met, and remained there until I was blindsided by the his unhappiness with the relationship).

I do feel semi invisible... until we're together. And then I have no idea. And then it leaves me in a whirlwind after as he continues on. I'm still somewhat confident in myself, but I'm just getting to that point where I will probably tell him that here is where I stand and how I feel at this point, and your ideas about our relationship can be changed. And if you don't want that, then there is still nothing I can do.

Thank you for relating. It does help. ❤️

Posted by Sunsetvirgo

I have no advice atm but this is so beautiful

Haha! It's okay. Honestly, I still believe him to be one of my favorite people I've ever met. Despite what is going on now, he is still one of the best partners I've had and someone who I cherish deeply. So I at least have that lol.