Nosey Aries

Ok, so I got an Aries friend, we've been friends for years. She's been helping me with jobhunting as I left my post in December after a short-term contract. I asked her for some help with my job spec, which she offered which I appriciated. She would often call during the week or text to see how my job searches are going, how I'm getting on etc, all fine.

She recommended me a recruitment agency which I subsquently sent details to but never heard anything back for weeks. I wasn't too bothered about it as I knew nothing would come from it straightaway, and I had other agencies/avenues lined up. She asked about it and I told her I had heard nothing and that I had already rang them to chase them up and that they said they would contact me but they never got back to me.

Aries took it upon herself to call the agency, as me - and asked the rep why haven't I (she) been given a call back etc. The joke is that they told her the exact same thing they told me. What pisses me off is that she went behind my back and out-and-out called them, then rang me saying 'I hope you don't mind but I did this...'

I feel like as I asked for her help in the beginning, I am now her 'project' and she feels she can control the work side of my life. When she told me what she'd done I was shocked and I said ok, cool but I really feel like she's taken it a bit too far with the 'help'. I feel that last act was boarderline nosey.

What would be the best way to approach her on this?

Posted by bluemoon9043834
Something like that wouldn't bother me enough to bring up an issue with one of my friends. She seems to care about your welfare and is doing everything she can to help you with getting a job, so I would look at the bigger picture as opposed to one small little detail to be mad about. I am sure she called to try to finaggle a way to getting you in for an interview. We are so forthright and we go for things ourselves, that this will come out with our friends, too.

Don't sweat the petty things.

+1

It doesnt sound like she is being nosey, a bit overbearing but she just wants want you want for yourself, to get a job, doesnt sound like a bad thing. But if it really bothers you just keep it a hunnit with her and tell her to back off, in a nice way of course.

*wants what you want for yourself

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by bluemoon9043834
Something like that wouldn't bother me enough to bring up an issue with one of my friends. She seems to care about your welfare and is doing everything she can to help you with getting a job, so I would look at the bigger picture as opposed to one small little detail to be mad about. I am sure she called to try to finaggle a way to getting you in for an interview. We are so forthright and we go for things ourselves, that this will come out with our friends, too.

Don't sweat the petty things.

+1

It doesnt sound like she is being nosey, a bit overbearing but she just wants want you want for yourself, to get a job, doesnt sound like a bad thing. But if it really bothers you just keep it a hunnit with her and tell her to back off, in a nice way of course.

click to expand

Thanks guys, I agree that overbearing is a better word/term. I know she is doing everything she can to help, and I told her it's cool when she told me what she did, so I'm not going to retract that and tell her something different. I think I feel the way I do because personally it's not something I would do, I would ask 1st, but at the same time I asked for her help in the first place and I can't choose which parts of help I want from her.

my gem "friend" kept calling me nosey until we had little argument which went very smooth about sharing things, after that im no longer nosey lol, funny

I need that friend heh.

^^^^^for real!

I dunno about being nosey, but Aries like to take control of situations. I, myself, love to help others and will do everything I can to when I really care about them.
You should be lucky to have such a helpful friend 😄

She is a wonderful friend, she helped me a lot in the beginning stages with job applications not gonna lie and I am lucky to have her in my life.

Obviously people help in different ways: she has always been more direct in her approach when it comes to helping. I have to admit I was a bit taken aback when she told me what she did only because it's not what she's done before and I wouldn't do the same but I understand she was only trying to help and probably wanted to kick the agency up the backside to see what was going on with them for me.

She does this because she cares. I have done similar things for my fianc?e. She gets discouraged very easily, so I have to jump in with my Aries drive and determination and take over. Though the trick is to step back once Ive helped her get back on her feet. She knows I mean well, though.