Relationships and Social Networks

How do you guys view the use of social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc and your love interest? Do you follow one another or do you try to keep your relationship on a private basis (rather contacting each other on the phone)?

From my experience I know how innocent "likes" and picture tags can turn into unnecessary fights and cause drama. Especially in the beginning phase, when the relationship is fragile this can eventually mess things up before they even started.

Also, once you start to become "official" on any network, there seem to be so many people who try and get in between the both of you.

I have a friend who is married and her husband has started to "like" this other womans pictures on Instagram and stopped complimenting his own wife. I, myself, have been guilty of looking thru photos and seeing and finding out things about a person I liked that I wouldnt have otherwise known and it has definitely caused a bit of a row in our interactions. Dare I say, even a bit of insecurity and damaged the trust between us even.

Social media can be a good thing for connecting with people and interests on a much larger scale but in regards to relationships and giving almost daily access to your life, it can be very dangerous and destructive.

Posted by cancergirl721
I have a friend who is married and her husband has started to "like" this other womans pictures on Instagram and stopped complimenting his own wife. I, myself, have been guilty of looking thru photos and seeing and finding out things about a person I liked that I wouldnt have otherwise known and it has definitely caused a bit of a row in our interactions. Dare I say, even a bit of insecurity and damaged the trust between us even.

Social media can be a good thing for connecting with people and interests on a much larger scale but in regards to relationships and giving almost daily access to your life, it can be very dangerous and destructive.

Exactly my point: you find out things that you normally wouldn't have and this is usually of negative nature. It makes you think too much and simply know way more of a person, than they have revealed towards you. So how do you control it? They can see the same of you as well.. All your comments regarding things that have nothing to do with them.

How did the things with your friend and her husband turn out after that?

Posted by tiziani
I don't think anyone truly wants a 24/7 live picture into the inner workings of their romantic partner's mind. Humans will be humans, flaws, vanity and all.

I have never seen any benefit come of mixing relationships with social media. Over a long enough time period, that curve always declines.

Exactly, without you really wanting it - it is still being put in you face. Suchandsuch has commented suchandsuch action on suchandsuch page.. -.-

In order to stay interesting and somewhat mysterious you must remain rare and not all up in their face 24/7. Unfortunately, social networks are essential in today's life. I am a student, for example and most of our group work etc is done through FB, so I cannot afford erasing my pages. Nevertheless, I would like to remain rare to my love interests sometimes without having to delete and block them.

Nothing good ever results from stalking each other online, I feel it equals going through somebody's phone - you WILL find something that you don't like. But isn't it nearly impossible to NOT stalk them? You have to have a willpower of a Buddhist monk!

Posted by geminicandle
I see it as destructive and annoying.
I don't want to follow, I don't want to be followed.

Solution= I deleted my Facebook around a year ago. Although, I miss some people, I like my peace of mind and no drama.

Destructive and annoying pretty much sum it up indeed.

I couldn't imagine deleting my FB or IG.. It's an addiction :-I

I also see a relationship having the ability to be destructive by finding out things about a person you care for the most. I also agree people get envious of the relationship you have with that person by trying to break the relationship off.

I assume having trust is the key to keeping secrets in between two of a couple. Between you and I, no one else involved or spilling secrets. Hard to do in action for some.

I can see where social media can cause problems with relationships.

But I've also noticed a trend where the people who are anti social networking the most and say that it causes trouble left and right are usually ones who have things/behavior to hide.

Not directed at you per se, OP, but I've heard the it "causes trouble" argument, usually from guys, who can be known to do some rather shady bs. They just don't want to be found out, which can be done so easily via social networking. So they avoid it.

But as far as likes and other stupid bs that people tend to do, if there's trust in the relationship, it shouldn't be a problem. As long as all the bases are covered- you give your partner nothing to worry about, nothing to be insecure about, there shouldn't be any issues. Nosing around via social networking is usually caused by shady behavior going on outside of social networking.

It can go either way though. Insecure people will go apeshit over stupid things that they see on social networking, and shady assholes will see it as a way that exposes their shadiness.

I don't appreciate being spied upon, so I avoid such things.

I am definitely starting to agree with all of you, saying that it should kept private and somewhat "secret". No good things ever happened when I started to make my new relationships public.. It's just sometimes you wanna share your love and happiness with the rest, because it's an amazing thing and should be embraced in my opinion. Obviously, I keep forgetting that hardly anybody will genuinely be happy for me, besides maybe my family, which knows anyways without the help of social media. That Aries naivety..

i dont like it...both ways...if were dating lets not follow each other...it will prevent alot of bs

Blogging about astrology and my recent clothing purchases is about all the social media I do and have ever done. Me nor my husband are, or have ever been, interested in social media. We do not have twitter, facebook, instagram, etc. I did online dating briefly though and was bored to death most of the time and wound up using the experiences for coffee talk.

I've never been interested. I think I find it boring. I am rather busy. I've been stalked in real life a few times and I can only imagine what would happen if I had popular social media accounts. Even the most so-called "hard nosed" people on my job have these accounts. And when I tell anyone that I don't and never had these accounts, they start making excuses to me for why they have them?

My husband and our son make fun of me from time to time about the little bit of astrology blogging I do.