Too nice?

Is it just me, or am I too nice sometimes, and It gets taken advantage of? I help people with stuff, I do them favors, and when I finally say no, they call me mean! and worst of all they never help me with anything. Does this happen with any other Aries?

sounds about right

Thanks... now I know. Next time someone does that, I'm gonna call 'em out for it.

Posted by ImpressMe
OMG, this Scorpio dude called me shallow a few days ago. I politely explained to him that I am nice and keep things light, please don't get it twisted. That is strike ONE...

He thought it was funny, but I was dead ass serious.

I love how people just assume because everyone else is full of shit that we are too.....I told someone in the lunchroom the other day that her computer was on fire. She laughed at me (she is a bit of a cow) so I shrugged and went on my way.

You shoulda seen the look on her face when she got back to her desk and saw smoke coming out of the monitor.
Larfin🙂
Idiots.

We actually had a pretty good discussion not long ago about this very thing. I can't find it now. Can anyone direct me that way? I would sort of like to review a couple of previously made points.

One of them is that people mistake honesty as weakness. Another was that because we Aries don't depend on yesterday's news, we are stupid. People really do have a hard time dealing with simple (as in not unnecessarily complicating things just to hide the facts), straight forward, and honest. Just concepts lots and lots of folks can't grasp. Down right scary for a surprising number, actually.

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by ImpressMe
OMG, this Scorpio dude called me shallow a few days ago. I politely explained to him that I am nice and keep things light, please don't get it twisted. That is strike ONE...

He thought it was funny, but I was dead ass serious.

I love how people just assume because everyone else is full of shit that we are too.....I told someone in the lunchroom the other day that her computer was on fire. She laughed at me (she is a bit of a cow) so I shrugged and went on my way.

You shoulda seen the look on her face when she got back to her desk and saw smoke coming out of the monitor.
Larfin🙂
Idiots.

click to expand

LMAO, that is classic Aries stuff. And so true!!!

YES, just because other people in this world can be scumbags, doesn't mean you should come nosing through my world expecting to turn up evidence I am wronging you intentionally or out to get you TOO, or somehow you should expect me to be a joiner in the a merry-go-round of he-said-she-said.

I genuinely am a good person and would hope you are too! Why second guess every g-d d-mn thing to death.

I always thought there would be many seats at the table that welcomed me and my friends, now I am not so sure I should be so kind and send invitations to so many people. Which is such a shame.

I guess the bumper sticker applies to our lives too?! "We don't swim in your toilet, so don't piss in our pool"

Posted by dofacc
We actually had a pretty good discussion not long ago about this very thing. I can't find it now. Can anyone direct me that way? I would sort of like to review a couple of previously made points.

One of them is that people mistake honesty as weakness. Another was that because we Aries don't depend on yesterday's news, we are stupid. People really do have a hard time dealing with simple (as in not unnecessarily complicating things just to hide the facts), straight forward, and honest. Just concepts lots and lots of folks can't grasp. Down right scary for a surprising number, actually.

Yes! This is the heart of the matter. The source of the issues.

And people wonder where our "blow-ups" come from. How about you being a good and effective person for a change, instead of complicating the situation further and further!

A guy took me aside the other day to say, "people don't respect you when you apologize". It may be off topic, but given this is about me an Aries not understanding the overly complex world of societal norms, does me apologizing for things I do wrong, make me worse off? ugh, the things we bear at times.

I know if it is someone I care about, for sure I MUST apologize if I feel I did something wrong, but in a team situation or social circle, I guess I want people to like me or continue to like me after I did something I felt I did wrong, maybe this is totally wrong minded and off topic, maybe another post somewhere discusses that ... ugh ugh ugh.

Actually Heroic_Guy, I think you deserve more credit than you are giving yourself. I think your comment about apologizing is dead on. It is part of being honest and open. I made a mistake, you suffered harm from that mistake. I acknowledge that mistake, and by apologizing am attempting to take responsibility for and to rectify that mistake.

Opps, lots of bad things in that paragraph. Open, honest, acknowledging things, taking responsibility, trying to make it right. And we are all sitting here wondering why people think Aries are such idiots. No one in their right minds would do any of those things. Really, is responsibility and accountability of antithesis of middle management—?

^^^Really, isn't responsibility and accountability the antithesis of middle management—?

Ugh, thank you guys. 🙂 You have really given me some insight into... myself? Myself and other people.

Heroic Guy rocks

Posted by dofacc
^^^Really, isn't responsibility and accountability the antithesis of middle management—?

LOL I want to tattoo that in my brain so I can remember that at work!

question is why are you being nice is it genuine or are u nice 2 gain something from someone.

I actually try to do things to help other people, and to do things just to be nice. I know this isn't something that a lot of people can understand, but there are some of us that really do want to be kind and helpful, without an ulterior motive.

Hard to believe, I know, but it happens.

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo

question is why are you being nice is it genuine or are u nice 2 gain something from someone.

I understand it is hard for people to believe, but not EVERYONE in the world is a nasty lying butthole out to get you or to gain something.
You obviously need to spend a little more time on Planet Aries LV!!!

Why would we have to have a reason to be nice?
Why can't we just be?

And why can't others just be nice back?

***Note to all Aries readers - yes there ARE lying buttholes out there just waiting to get us, and no, they don't need a reason to be nasty lying buttholes, they just are and they like to get us because the weak get a kick out of attacking guileless folk who mean them no harm.
They think it makes them look cool.

aries are naturally good people and will give you their last. Will be there for you through thick and thin and will not stab you in the back

but please do not mistake this for weakness because if you F--- us over we will burn your @ss!

Posted by dward417
aries are naturally good people and will give you their last. Will be there for you through thick and thin and will not stab you in the back

but please do not mistake this for weakness because if you F--- us over we will burn your @ss!

Actually, this strikes home with me, particularly your last sentence. I have had people tell me that I am "unpredictable." That is a load of crap. You take advantage of me enough, you screw with me enough, I will indeed rip your head off, spit down your throat, and not even pretend to care. If anything, you will be come a target for further "discussions" about your behavior.

It is all very predictable. You push to hard, I am not the least be reluctant to butt heads with you, not to mention a bit of trampling, gouging, biting, and other down right crabby behavior. I may seem cute and cuddly in all my lovely wool, but I have horns for a reason.

^^^^^Huh, I don't know if I feel fired up or embarrassed by all that....

My Dear NO
Its you your a real fucking prick

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo

question is why are you being nice is it genuine or are u nice 2 gain something from someone.

Seriously? We think you guys are smart and other people are smart, but there is no way for others to comprehend that we really GENUINELY are this way without some ulterior selfish motive?

Do you think the kid that is offering you their stuffed bear or bag of candy, trying to get you to bend over later?

And the whole theory that there are no self-less acts ... maybe that theory has a lot of truth, but that doesn't mean there isn't a theory (bigger and better) of things that you offer up to the world come from a pure and almost automatic nature that respects the fact that buy offering what you can do or have to another person without thinking what is in it for you, will benefit the world and people in it around you without worry of who, what, when, why, how. It just does.

If I randomly wake up Saturday and cut my lawn without thinking all morning why I should and shouldn't, it just might very well work out that the neighborhood will be pleased or happy to see you doing it etc etc, at the end of the day looking back you will feel good, it is all really what people want truly no? Random Acts of Kindness rather than Random Acts of Desperation/Ignorance —

Whatever, we do as we do (as Aries). I could sit on my ass all day and ponder why people aren't like us, or why they are mean, but I would be wasting my time away from doing what makes me happy.

Snatches bag of candy back 😆

Posted by ImpressMe
Ha! What LV wants to know, if we are generally being nice and there is no motivation behind it, then why are we upset when the other person is not nice back. Aries hope that the person is nice back, so there is a motivation behind it.

As an Aries if they are not nice back, we just write them off. treetrunkem.

Again, another prime example of people believing that Aries are stupid! 😄. It just amazes me sometimes.

you get me thanks i general wanted to know because my mother taught me that u dont have to tell people that u are nice its u either is or not.

people misunderstood my comment i was basically saying anyone can be nice the question is is it from the heart.

also when u are truly genuine other people can really feel it because u give off that vibe or energy thats all i wanted to say peace out.

I think we are on the same page

I guess though we are talking about similar or same things, words can still get in the way.

Regardless, we tend to try to squash the idea anywhere we can that somehow being genuine or kind, or honest or all of these combined is not a weakness or something to dislike about someone but instead we encourage people to believe these are very valid aspects of living life and can be strengths. We tend to speak about this topic from time to time, because we have our "why do people treat us that way" moments like anyone else.

such is life

We like to be nice ... not because we want anything in return and yes it's genuine ... we have this idea in our head, something like "the whole world depends on us ... we gotta do something about it" ... we play heros ... we see someone who needs help, we don't put too much thoughts in it ... we just jump in and do whatever we can to help them ..

Yeah I agree with whoever said that people think that we are stupid just because we don't like to discuss irrelevant stuff. If you are to start explaining things, we'd like you to get to the point in the shortest time possible (when the details don't affect the outcome), and meanwhile you might be thinking of how stupid we are, we would probably be thinking the same of you, and how ineffiecent you are in delievering your ideas. We call it a gift, we were given the gift of simplicity, we are able to break down things into a simple structure, many people can't. We can extract just the necessery information out of anything without having to go over the whole thing.

When I was a kid, I was the first on my class ... how did I use to prepare for the exam? ... I read the summary page at the end of each chapter. And this basically sums how we operate, just get to the important bit already damnt it!

Now does that make us stupid? ... No, infact we are some of the brightest people anyone will come across ... just because we take life easily and have our own way of doing things doesn't mean we are shallow or stupid. If we can overlook something, we'll over look it, but it never means that we can't see it .. some people are really stupid to think that we can't see what they doing to us (like when we are nice to them and they try and take advantage of it), we just chose not to make big deals out of things, but if we over look something, doesn't mean we cant see it, we just chose to ignore it.

Now cheers to all of us Nice Spirited, Good Willed Aries 🙂

To everyone else just keep in mind, that fire will warm those who need, but those who mess with it ... will get burned!

Oh man, I feel like the bee girl in the Blind Melon video when she finds "her people" lol I can TOTALLY relate. I never understood why people think I am "out to get them" when all I am doing is just trying to do my best and what is best for the greater good in the LONG term picture. I used to be of the mindset that those that think you are "out to get them" are really out to get YOU and deep down, it may be true. Now I tell myself that they just don't understand (while knowing deep down that they REALLY believed I was out for them) So, instead of taking the time and making an effort to understand, they just "assume" and attack. *shakes head* At that point, if no effortt has been made to understand, I usually just write them off and act as if you never existed.

For me, serving others is why I am here. There is a joy in knowing that you made a difference in someones life and that they will carry that experience with them. People may forget you and what you did, but they will NEVER forget how you made them FEEL.

There was someone who spoke of apologizing as being "weak"..... acknowledging first your OWN pain for causing another to hurt based on your actions and apologizing for being the cause of their suffering is not only humble but very human. There are others that have taken advantage of my kindness and usually after I've caught on and decided that I am not going to oblige any more....I'll simply stop and if you wanna cry/act like a baby not only will I mock/tease the HELL out of you, but you can also GFY too!

"Seriously? We think you guys are smart and other people are smart, but there is no way for others to comprehend that we really GENUINELY are this way without some ulterior selfish motive?"

I think that is society talking. It's hard for most people to believe that others really are GENUINELY nice/sincere individuals because THEY are not genuinely nice/individuals. So, their reactions is to automatically assume/think they are being "threatened" or someone is "out to get them".

And on a humorous note......WHAT are we "out to get you"? A coat? A car? 😛

^^ I like what you said Archimedes.

I think I try to nurture myself when I am shocked or confused by reactions by people who randomly can't understand my motives.

I love when cartoons or "silver lining" discussions remind us that things work out in the end, and I try to nurture that feeling if I am ever confused by this world of ours. I loved the bee girl comment, I feel that way a lot reading what you all say too, lmao

Most aries are generally nice and helpful people.

Posted by PurpleDiamond
I don't let it get to me anymore. When I was younger I use to really struggle with why intergrity is not respected and seen as a sign of weakness when it takes a STRONG person to uphold morals, standards, and accountablity. If the person can't appreciate me not being about bull butter, then to hell with them.

^^ this.

I feel like I'm a very idealistic person. I'm extremely gullible sometimes lol. I like to trust people and give everyone a chance or a million. A lot of people see this as being weak, like others have said, but I don't think it is. I stick up for myself when someone wrongs ME. I have no reason to judge people that I have no personal experience with.

I like to be friends with as many as possible, keep the peace, and help out when I can. It's just who I am. I think some people have a hard time accepting this because they're sort of jealous, or something. I dunno, it's not something I've figured out -- or really tried to figure out.

I am who I am, others opinions shouldn't change that.