Triple Aries just venting. You will not read all this 4 sure.

I am just venting but would like to hear insights or if you have perspectives or wisdom.

So when I was a young child I was probably not as close with my father as my mother. And put my mother on a pedestal. Now I tend to get on better with my Dad than my mother. I find him calmer and less aggressive than my mother.



I will give some context. Basically she tends to spread gossip and outright lie and over control other people. Not just me but lots of people have cut her off.

Basically a lot of older relatives. She tends to come into a situation think it needs fixing and create a lot of toxicity and drama. Three elderly relatives who were terminally ill basically cut her off. She comes in takes over their lives then gives out about having to 'care ' for them when they dont want her to. They cut her off and she acts like this is crazy. SHE CANT RESPECT BOUNDARIES.

She will tell every private secret that a person relays to her. She has told me about people's addictions within our family people's personal issues. Deep abuse and trauma. Things NOW i know those people would not have wanted me to know. But I was younger. She will tell people outside the family these things in small talk.

One female relative had an alcohol issue and got sober. But my mother told EVERYONE EVERYTHING. Every sordid detail. Then acted confused when the relative didnt trust her etc and felt judged even when she was sober. My mother decided she was going to take over her life. It ended up with this relative who was in her late 70s locking her front door and refusing to let my mother in. Even when she was terminally ill she almost cut my mother off. This woman didn't need financial help or anything she had a career in IBM the computer company had a pension etc what she needed was someone to maybe just go for a coffee with etc. But my mother basically wanted to control her life. And judged her all the time. And keep spreading gossip and personal info. Eventually my relative got sick with cancer but chose not to do treatment (she was in her late seventies). My mother had a huge time accepting this and basically went into control overdrive and was in constant arguments with doctors etc. IT wasn't until i got to know this relative more that I realized 1. She is smarter than my mom and can make her own decisions 2. My mom was making up lies. 3. This lady never would have wanted ME to know such intimate details as she didnt choose to share them with me.

Why i didnt tell my mother to stop sharing the info i dont know . ... i guess i was young.

second female relative : Was very close to my 2 aunts and mother but after my mom's sister died they sort of stopped remembering her or there was no bust up but well... both my aunt and mom kind of have a similar issue of being a bit selfish when they dont need you. So my relative got into a very abusive marriage and was beaten so badly she ended up in hospital for weeks. So in my country there was NO DIVORCE at that time so he had to be put in prison because her place of residence had to be the same as his legal residence. And if he wasnt in prison basically legally she would have had to live with him. Luckily he got put away. But my family sort of forgot about her I can't explain it. I was only a kid. But there was no bust up. They forgot about her. She worked she had her life but couldnt divorce. But basically she was beaten so badly she had life changing injuries. I wont say more. But my mother DESPITE not talking or supporting this woman when she needed it. TOLD EVERYONE EVERY LITTLE DETAIL of her injuries and the assault the marriage the situation EVERYTHING. Looking back I Find it unbelievable now. But also the POLICE had told us not to share the address of my female relative or the details or when the ex got released he might find her.

So my mother says the most bizarre things about this relative I have ever heard. And now I question the context and truth. She told me this relative who was in her eighties by now. Was constantly lying that she was manipulative and i dunno what else. But the lies are odd. Some sound like they might be misunderstandings some sound like they might be an old person being confused etc. Older relative lived alone by now. And obviously things are hard to keep up with. So the house got untidy.

In our culture for women in partic untidyness is seen as deeply immoral. Uncleanliness in our culture is linked for women to being promiscuous. You can be called a slut for not being clean as well as wearing tight clothes etc. And my mother judged this relative for the state of their house. And at the time .. i kind of accepted what my mother said. But now I think well YEAH the relative was in her 80s of course it will be this way. Its not a moral failing. Or is it. I know if you have kids etc its a moral failing to be unclean etc its neglect. But like .. i mean there is nuance. But also the degree to which this is judged in our culture is huge. Its very stigmatized so i understand where mom comes from. And I also think its good to keep things clean and tidy. But my mother dramatised the state of the house A LOT. In Irish culture for some reason we associate untidy houses in women as being Machiavellian. I dont know why. Or sinister.

Some of the lies my mother said she was telling. Was 1. She helped in a hairdressers. 2. She was asked by a doctor to donate skin taken from melanomas or something for research or something. 3. A doctor asked her to move house or to new accommodation.

See all these could be an old person being confused or they could be true. But my mother said they were evidence of her relative being manipulative. I dont know why. Looking back I think of them as true or confusion of being older.

I feel bad because this relative bought me presents. But my mom scared me off connecting more deeply.

But also there came a point where this relative wanted someone to manage a little money or something of her affairs. And either she got confused or my mom did. This relative according to my mother thought my mother was after her money. (This isnt true). But relative at first said my mom was going to manage it. (according to mom i dont know what to believe. But then changed this to a friend. But she did this in front of my mother and my mother then said relative was trying to make my mom look bad in front of her friend. ( i dont think this is true i think either relative got confused or changed her mind or mom was confused. )

Anyway this relative sadly gets cancer and also cut my mother OFF. It ends up in EXACTLY the same pattern. My relative locks her front door pretends not to be there sends messages to my mother to leave her alone. She wants to refuse treatment (She was in her 80s). Mother cant accept this. Mother goes ringing personal physicians etc. Relative gets really angry. etc etc

Also mom sort of manipulated the way i saw my aunt for a long time. Her sister.

My mother's mother my grandmother died when my mother was 11. Very sad affected her a lot. Her parents were much older as they had my mom the youngest of their kids late in life. And by then my grandad asked her sister to come look after my mom and raise her basically. My mom resented this. I understand that because it had to be tough. But im just explaining. So basically my aunt was raising her own three kids and my mom and taking care of her husband and her father she was also WORKING outside the home. Then her husband (my aunts husband) died. So she is a single mom working TWO Jobs SOMETIMES THREE and taking care of shit YEAH. She worked as a cleaner and for a sports leisure company and in catering. But the way my mother tells it is .. her sister was LAZY. The house was never clean. But i have been in the house a lot as a kid and ok it was not pristine as a show house but it wasnt awful. But there is something more about why i think my mother saw it this way. But the help my aunt gave my mom did not stop there basically i remember as a kid my aunt minding me taking me on cleaning jobs while she worked and I remember her taking me to the sports leisure centre where she worked. I think my mom was busy or something i dunno. But my aunt also got my mom some jobs like with the catering thing and we would make cheese cakes in the house for the catering company.

So here is my bad ass aunt taking care of EVERYONE working three jobs as a widow. And having raised my mom. But my mom never even thanks her. But my aunt's way of taking care of people is like giving them what they need and NOT controlling. No thanks needed. In fact you kind of dont even KNOW until you look back what she did.

I will give you some insight .. when my aunt got cancer and was seriously ill.. my aunt told my mom not to tell me until AFTER my exams because she didnt want to trouble me. ( I know .. im getting tears).

All three of my aunts kids have turned out amazing people. Truly like successful and rich in every way you could imagine really strong resilient people.

Now back to the other thing about my aunt .. the reason i think she was seen badly so .. she had a child out of wedlock before marriage which she gave up for adoption and kept secret but we sort of knew. We found the baby years later recently as an adult and reconnected which was great. Im not saying my aunt was perfect. But i think now my mom was unfair. And I wish i had seen it earlier. I was really close with this aunt and my cousins. But this issue of a child out of wedlock in the old irish mindset .. frames a woman in a certain way. Which is wrong. I reject it.

My mom STILL to this day refuses to see how much her aunt did for her.

So i think its to do with the fact that my aunt lived in her fathers house with the kids and my mom resenting it because she got the house in her father's will. Her father did leave my mom something but i guess not as much not sure i dont know the details.

I think my mother feels abandoned.

So today she was angry with me. And just aggressive for no reason. Fine we all get like that.

But its a pattern. And also the reason or excuse she gave was .

Your father has a medical procedure (minor dont worry its just for an eye thing very minor) this week.

But im like that is for HIM would HE not be stressed?

Its like she never gives room for HER experience in life. Everything is other people's lives and trauma. And she just takes it on. She thinks she is helping. But then resents it and ends up being cut off.

She cant accept she was the one who was looked after because she has never really been able to look after herself or been financially independant.

Like my mother has NEVER been financially independent EVER

Whereas my aunt VERY much was and supported her father and three kids. I think looking after her dad and the fact that the 3 grand kids and her still lived in the house was why he left it to her.

Both these female relatives also WERE financially independent with no man looking after them. Whereas my mom never has been that way ever. From her father's house to my dad's house.

I think she cant accept she needs to obey boundaries stop spreading gossip and stop resenting people.

I dont think she ever fully grieved her mom and tried to react by controlling her environment and people because she couldnt control things.

Also to give you an insight into my aunt .. when my aunts husband was alive she ALWAYS took my mothers side against him ALWAYS .. in everything. She always protected and stood up for my mom. If he made a comment or was out of line. My aunt bit his head off. Even in public.

I know it was hard for mom. But i think she sees things wrong. She is both the victim and the saviour. When in reality she was never the most independent of people.

But i dont understand the lying and telling everyone personal issues.

Now mom can be and IS a lovely person. But i realized i saw her as a saint. She is human.

My dad is just calmer and easier to get on with ..



Anway vent over i feel better.

But reading this I cant believe i never realized what a cool lady my aunt was and all my female relatives and how independant they were in comparison to my mother.

Maybe that is why she wanted to control them?

So my mom is actually

ARIES SUN

ARIES MOON

ARIES MERCURY ..

VENUS IN ARIES

MARS IN CANCER

But like the independent nature of aries ... i mean she is stubborn and always thinks no one can do things like her. But then she will say things like 'I cant count or i can't add things up' But she wont let me do it for her.

Like if we have to divide a bill she will insist do it incorrectly five times before she lets my brother ( a guy with a masters in mathematics) or my dad AN EX ACTUARY do it. But my mother the ART teacher insists! —

Like ok ... that above was just a minor gripe. lol

But like she will insist she has to do things that the other person is WAY BETTER AT.

She is so dramatic also recently she went to be tested for ADHD ... we all knew she wasnt going to be diagnosed with ADHD .. and she wasnt. She was told to her face no you dont have ADHD.

She still thinks she has it. Will she do anything to help or accept she has symptoms of it tho?? NO.

I dont get it.

The average person can't add things up as fast or as well as an ex actuary and the guy with the masters in mathematics. Let alone someone who admits they cant count.

Like my family is full of phds and she treats them like idiots. That relative the first one .. was one of the first women in ireland to become a computer programmer. But my mother insisted she needed to talk to all of her doctors etc FOR HER.

She just causes more stress. And she is not good in the roles she wants in people's lives and resents them. Then spreads gossip.

Ok that is just her bad side tho. SHe is LOVELY in other ways.

She is really creative and can talk a lot. (or rant a lot depending on how you look at it). SHe is VERY caring towards animals and recently saved a baby bird. Mind you the baby bird wasnt sick its parents were still looking after it and it may or may not have needed to be saved. But she put it in the shed over night and its the thought that counts. Its parents returned in the morning. All is good. But you get the idea.

maybe its now that im not living with them i see it diff now with perspective?

I dunno. Mom keeps trying to control my brother's life. And he always tells me 'Dont tell her anything please'. Like he has a gf right she doesnt know and will prob never know.

She does it in way that at first it feels like care .. but then .. insane and toxic.. and clearly over her head.

She doesnt really have .. a cause passion just hobbies.

But she is the people pleaser from hell who only sees people her way. I dont know if its because she cant comprehend what a computer programmer does that she saw my female relative as well stupid or someone who couldnt advocate for themselves when it wasnt the case.

She can't see people as other people only extensions of herself. And she tends to see them as children or something. I think THIS is because she tends to dominate conversations and talk and talk but its low level or things she understands.

If she listened she might find an accountant or something knows a lot she doesnt. She brings conversations down to her level and is often boring or says the most basic stuff. And she constantly interrupts.

My brother's social circle and my fathers are scientists accountants .. and im not saying artists are not smart but obv no one can be well read in everything. But she really doesnt know how stupid she sounds talking to a engineering PHD like they are a child. Like no self awareness.

Its like she is not on the professors level .. to see how far he is beyond her (ON HIS SUBJECT) obviously she would know things he doesnt.

But because of this .. she literally wants to hold the professors hand crossing the road. And he obviously thinks this is weird and crossing a boundary.

I used to think she does this with only family but recently realized she does it with neighbours etc too.

She is anxiety in motion.

Like recently she insisted the neighbour go to the hospital (he didnt want to he is a grown man)

He had a cut. But like let the man sort it out himself. He doesnt want to go dont make him.

Or recently the neighbours cat went missing. And all that was said .was please keep an eye out let us know.

She goes on a hunt. I told her be careful leave cats alone if you dont know them. She approached a cat that clearly hates her .. it bites her .. she bleeds and needs to be taken to the doctor for an antibiotic.

Then a few days later the bird thing. She means well.

cleanliness is next to godliness?

I wonder if that's why my half Irish mum always keots a clean house

Even as a workaholic the house was always clean growing up

My Nan (irish) lived a a small house but it was always tidy, she'd dust everything, clean her trinkets etc.

Like no matter what was happening the kitchen was cleaned down at the end of the day.

Prob off topic, but thanks for that insight

My mother's newest thing is she thinks im the reincarnated soul of her mother. How messed up is that? I think that says a lot. She never got over it.

Also her dad did die when she was young too like 25? Not sure. They were older when they had her.

Its almost because there is nothing to be right or wrong about .. or fair or someone to blame she cant process it.

I mean you can't blame death or be right ... its unfair.

Posted by hiromix_
cleanliness is next to godliness?

I wonder if that's why my half Irish mum always keots a clean house

Even as a workaholic the house was always clean growing up

My Nan (irish) lived a a small house but it was always tidy, she'd dust everything, clean her trinkets etc.

Like no matter what was happening the kitchen was cleaned down at the end of the day.

Prob off topic, but thanks for that insight

Exactly but much more than that.

Dirtiness is next to being a prostitute. And definitely a neglectful mother. Or sexually disturbed.

Dirty old men are literally dirty old men in the Irish mindset. If a man is unclean or hasn't showered we view it as suspicious and judge. I don't know why.

I am not saying that having an untidy house isn't child neglect it is obv .. and a sign of something partic hoarding etc.

I don't blame my mother for having this attitude by the way because i will be honest i have it too. If i see an unkept house i automatically think .. hmm where are the bodies buried? lol Or unkept men..

Like the bear or the man etc? How clean are his nails and hair!?

But obviously its good to understand the facts of what this comes from.

Apparantly in old irish gaelic law there were laws about washing and how often an old person wasn meant to get their head washed by the community and how much water every person should get to wash etc. it was very particular. And it makes sense.

But linking it to sleaze or sexual deviance or being a manipulative person is oddly irish. They could just be depressed or getting older.

I never thought about it until recently. How i look at things and I was living abroad and came back and saw how others saw things.

Like recently my mate married a girl a nice girl and i wont say where she is from it doesnt matter I will just say she is white .. but her hair isnt the cleanest all the time.. and i suddenly realized i was attributing negative things to her. He was raised in ireland and one day he said to me 'You always keep your hair nice'. I suddenly asked myself ' Why do i feel proud of that'?? She is gorgeous girl etc...

I realize maybe also it was a way under british rule to have self pride etc and keeping clean in certain times is important for health.. partic in work houses or on boats etc.

Also hygiene can be classist or racist.

But i know that other people dont see an unkept person or house in the same way we do in ireland... like as sleazy or haunted even.

Like demons. Oh an priests used to say demons love mess and dirt. Maybe they do.

Being clean certainly feels better than being dirty it helps body image too. So all in balance I guess.

But i should not be smug about it or judge.

Posted by hiromix_
cleanliness is next to godliness?

I wonder if that's why my half Irish mum always keots a clean house

Even as a workaholic the house was always clean growing up

My Nan (irish) lived a a small house but it was always tidy, she'd dust everything, clean her trinkets etc.

Like no matter what was happening the kitchen was cleaned down at the end of the day.

Prob off topic, but thanks for that insight

That would be VERY Irish.

Also if you have done something bad .. cleaning or washing yourself after is VERY irish..

Its like a daily thing to cleanse of sin and keep ghosts away lol.. its in all irish folklore. Also fear of dirty water.

THere are stories of gods (dian cecht) or saints turning water to alcohol or uisce baithe .. to sterilize it. Or they boil entire lakes over and over to sterilise them.

Posted by Textosmoon
Also if you have done something bad .. cleaning or washing yourself after is VERY irish..

Its like a daily thing to cleanse of sin and keep ghosts away lol.. its in all irish folklore. Also fear of dirty water.

THere are stories of gods (dian cecht) or saints turning water to alcohol or uisce baithe .. to sterilize it. Or they boil entire lakes over and over to sterilise them.

omg you just reminded me, anytime I was stressed as a kid, or emotional my mum would always say "go and have a shower" LMAO.

Posted by hiromix_

Posted by Textosmoon
Also if you have done something bad .. cleaning or washing yourself after is VERY irish..

Its like a daily thing to cleanse of sin and keep ghosts away lol.. its in all irish folklore. Also fear of dirty water.

THere are stories of gods (dian cecht) or saints turning water to alcohol or uisce baithe .. to sterilize it. Or they boil entire lakes over and over to sterilise them.

omg you just reminded me, anytime I was stressed as a kid, or emotional my mum would always say "go and have a shower" LMAO.

click to expand

It works tho! Something about water calms the nervous system. Irish baths etc are a thing not so popular now. But it works with the right scents etc. Ever notice you feel down when you are sweaty and hot? It deffo makes your body be tricked or something.

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by hiromix_

Posted by Textosmoon
Also if you have done something bad .. cleaning or washing yourself after is VERY irish..

Its like a daily thing to cleanse of sin and keep ghosts away lol.. its in all irish folklore. Also fear of dirty water.

THere are stories of gods (dian cecht) or saints turning water to alcohol or uisce baithe .. to sterilize it. Or they boil entire lakes over and over to sterilise them.

omg you just reminded me, anytime I was stressed as a kid, or emotional my mum would always say "go and have a shower" LMAO.click to expand

It works tho! Something about water calms the nervous system. Irish baths etc are a thing not so popular now. But it works with the right scents etc. Ever notice you feel down when you are sweaty and hot? It deffo makes your body be tricked or something.

click to expand

Yeah I still do this today, have a bath or shower to destress, literally sit in the shower. It makes sense energetically too.

The entire story suggests of an Aries that was probably got taken care and coddled her entire life, without anyone confronting her, about either her methods or her communications or both. If she is in the wrong, someone needs to tell her to her face. Maybe she needs to be told multiple times for it to sink in. Because I suspect even now, she probably believes herself to be very capable and intelligent in a family of lazy manipulative idiots, and not getting the recognition she feels she deserves for all the things she did for the family (however unhelpful they may be). This is also where control likely comes from, because she believes her son is incompetent.

Posted by victoria-sakura
The entire story suggests of an Aries that was probably got taken care and coddled her entire life, without anyone confronting her, about either her methods or her communications or both. If she is in the wrong, someone needs to tell her to her face. Maybe she needs to be told multiple times for it to sink in. Because I suspect even now, she probably believes herself to be very capable and intelligent in a family of lazy manipulative idiots, and not getting the recognition she feels she deserves for all the things she did for the family (however unhelpful they may be). This is also where control likely comes from, because she believes her son is incompetent.

Yes and no to be fair.

On some level she must believe that we are idiots. But its not like she would say this. Or mean it. But on some level obviously yes you would be right she MUST think this.

The only person I ever saw to make her respect boundaries was my cousin who was the daughter of my aunt who took care of my mom when their mother died. The one who minded me when she was cleaning apartments etc. When she was looking after her mother when she was dying (my mom's sister) she insisted that my mother NOT be involved in the care taking.

But we visisted nearly every day at the end and i remember my male cousin (my aunt's son) thinking it was too much. He said something like 'yis are up nearly everyday!' I think at that time i was only like 13/14 yrs. So it didnt register. And yes i know mom wanted to say goodbye. But still .. you have to give people space. But my female cousin was the only one i ever saw hold a boundary against my mother. She insisted my mother was NOT going to stay the night taking the night shift of care etc.

Its not just family she does this with btw. Its neighbours/ friends etc. Animals, the NEIGHBOURS ANIMALS!

She bakes cakes for construction men who do work in our house. Its lovely sometimes but sometimes its .. embarrassing. Overbearing.

I keep saying mom find a worthwhile cause.

When she was in art school and was busy .. it wasn't so bad .. she had a passion but that didn't work out. And she stopped teaching art. And this is what happened to that energy. I guess.

But well.. it causes a lot of tension between my parents and family members as they find her patronising and controlling partic my dad.

When i was studying for exams etc .. she WOULD CONSTANTLY interrupt with this or that.. it was really hard to get a block of 5 hrs study without her coming in with some bs info or question or anything and it would take like 15 mins to get rid of her. And it would be Bull shit i didnt need to know. Like 'oh i fed the dog this is the dog's new diet this what you need to know about the dog'. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? I would have like an exam in the morning.

I kind of thought this was normal mother stuff until i got older and heard from other relatives.

Half of my relatives i was scared to get to know because of what SHE said about them.

Partic my dad's mother. Whom my mother didnt like. WHO WAS AN ANGEL. I know i prob have a biased opinion. But i probably never saw my dad's mom do anything bad to my mom. And for some reason .. she didnt like her and refused to let her stay with us for a few months when my grandmother was recovering from hospital. THE ONLY TIME SHE REFUSED A CARETAKER ROLE. Why? Because she thought my grandmother had too much control over my father etc. Or the family as my dad would listen to her etc. Which kind of shows it IS about control and NOT caring.

IF she was this carer she would have done things for my dad's mom whom everyone loved. She pretty much did NOTHING for her and kind of abandoned her. That showed me.

Posted by Textosmoon

Posted by victoria-sakura
The entire story suggests of an Aries that was probably got taken care and coddled her entire life, without anyone confronting her, about either her methods or her communications or both. If she is in the wrong, someone needs to tell her to her face. Maybe she needs to be told multiple times for it to sink in. Because I suspect even now, she probably believes herself to be very capable and intelligent in a family of lazy manipulative idiots, and not getting the recognition she feels she deserves for all the things she did for the family (however unhelpful they may be). This is also where control likely comes from, because she believes her son is incompetent.

Yes and no to be fair.

On some level she must believe that we are idiots. But its not like she would say this. Or mean it. But on some level obviously yes you would be right she MUST think this.

The only person I ever saw to make her respect boundaries was my cousin who was the daughter of my aunt who took care of my mom when their mother died. The one who minded me when she was cleaning apartments etc. When she was looking after her mother when she was dying (my mom's sister) she insisted that my mother NOT be involved in the care taking.

But we visisted nearly every day at the end and i remember my male cousin (my aunt's son) thinking it was too much. He said something like 'yis are up nearly everyday!' I think at that time i was only like 13/14 yrs. So it didnt register. And yes i know mom wanted to say goodbye. But still .. you have to give people space. But my female cousin was the only one i ever saw hold a boundary against my mother. She insisted my mother was NOT going to stay the night taking the night shift of care etc.

Its not just family she does this with btw. Its neighbours/ friends etc. Animals, the NEIGHBOURS ANIMALS!

She bakes cakes for construction men who do work in our house. Its lovely sometimes but sometimes its .. embarrassing. Overbearing.

I keep saying mom find a worthwhile cause.

When she was in art school and was busy .. it wasn't so bad .. she had a passion but that didn't work out. And she stopped teaching art. And this is what happened to that energy. I guess.

But well.. it causes a lot of tension between my parents and family members as they find her patronising and controlling partic my dad.

When i was studying for exams etc .. she WOULD CONSTANTLY interrupt with this or that.. it was really hard to get a block of 5 hrs study without her coming in with some bs info or question or anything and it would take like 15 mins to get rid of her. And it would be Bull shit i didnt need to know. Like 'oh i fed the dog this is the dog's new diet this what you need to know about the dog'. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? I would have like an exam in the morning.

I kind of thought this was normal mother stuff until i got older and heard from other relatives.

Half of my relatives i was scared to get to know because of what SHE said about them.

Partic my dad's mother. Whom my mother didnt like. WHO WAS AN ANGEL. I know i prob have a biased opinion. But i probably never saw my dad's mom do anything bad to my mom. And for some reason .. she didnt like her and refused to let her stay with us for a few months when my grandmother was recovering from hospital. THE ONLY TIME SHE REFUSED A CARETAKER ROLE. Why? Because she thought my grandmother had too much control over my father etc. Or the family as my dad would listen to her etc. Which kind of shows it IS about control and NOT caring.

IF she was this carer she would have done things for my dad's mom whom everyone loved. She pretty much did NOTHING for her and kind of abandoned her. That showed me.

click to expand

In fact I would go as far as to say my mother hated my dad's mom. Even tho my dad's mom was lovely. Everyone loved her.

And my dad's sister and mom had huge rows about it.

My mother would say things about my dad's mom i just didn't get that she was rude or offensive and stubborn. I never saw that ever.

But if i had not known my grandmother from my mother's description i would think she was awful. But she was lovely. So now i think a lot of relatives i was afraid of .. im seeing they are nice people. I feel lied to.