when it comes to woman and their feelings?

Hello to all signs!!! New Topic( I hope we can share our concerns) Why is it—??

My question is? Why is it that regardless to whom we are compatible to or not?

When we have choosen a someone of our own desires?? There is always some kind of conflict and as women, we are the first to try and figure it out in order to make sense of the union——

Hey thats a really good question, i try to make sense of a situation because its a way of trying to feel better or to try to fix the problem or situation. If i dont try to figure it out i feel almost helpless and to be honest i hate that feeling. We as women try i think harded then men do to try to come to some kind of agreement or compromise to fix the conflict, men have a kinda i dont care as much as you do attitude when it comes to some problems they have to face in relationships and you know i think in a way men know that women are more able to think rationaly to work out a conflict then they are. that probably doesnt answer any questions but hey thats waht i was thinking.

Cool topic.

I don't know if that feeling/reaction is exclusive to women.. but I do think that the reason people "try and figure it out in order to make sense of the union" is because we prefer to solve things by seeing the bigger picture.

What I mean is, when you have conflict with someone, sometimes that conflict is not limited to the events surrounding conflict-- but can be extended out to a larger reason such as: "that's just the way he/she is" or "this comes from their childhood". We look for larger reasons to help us understand the conflict-- and then so we can follow through by doing one of two things: compromise/apologize/accept or end the relationship. It's a very diplomatic approach. I read somewhere in the book, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars", that women are inherit diplomats in their approach towards conflict-- not so sure about that being true.

I think a lot of it has to do with our roles. Men have always been the physically strong ones to protect and guard their females and the women have always been the nurtures and emotional support system. We like to think that we've evolved from those roles and perhaps in a small measure, we have - but, men have always relied on females to be the ones to carry a relationship forward emotionally and so they step back and let us be the ones to sort the problems out.

I don't know, just a thought.

I totally agree with you, aprilbaby, about not knowing where you stand. I generally like to stand on firm ground with people and not stuck in emotional limbo. I also agree with you P-Angel, but consider this.. is it perhaps the maintenance of relationships fall upon the most emotional person?

Yeah, but I don't know if it should be that way.

Aprilbaby you said a mouth full. Unfortunately I am the one who ususally ends a relationship. I will then become very frustrated, then angry, then I start to plot and plan, then its over if the conflict continues to not resolve it self or if it doesnt meet up to my standards. Then exceptance of the situation (my head and heart gets to gether) I move on emotionally and mentally because I know I can. It's awful not knowing exactly where you stand in a relaltionship but it worst when you know that you wont turn back. Its my fear to be stuck. Being a very trustful person, once that trust is lost, up to a certain extent, I then become emotionally detact but will remain a caring and loving person. The only question that is left within myself in regards to the relationship, "why after the fact"? I could never go back into the relationship when he has come to understand my feelings. I sort of hate this about myself because I lose out on good not perfect men....Are some of you faced with dilema—??

I need to express this: I am stuck in an emotionally some sort of relationship with a Scorpio male and its killing me. I can go through my own emotions and surface out of it but I am not sure if I want to. I don't know where I stand with him and I am not sure if he could trust knowing where he does stand with me.....Am I getting soft—?Am I losing the fight— SOOOOOO confused—??

WOW, callmemsram...

Your story speaks to me and where I was about 2 years ago with a fellow ram-- and kind of where I am now with someone new. Are you torn between forcing this guy to tell you right here.. right now.. "tell me what is you want??!! Where are we going with this—!!" but then holding back because you're afraid he'll say things that aren't in favor of the relationship? Are you telling yourself, just be patient- these things take time.. but also saying.. TIME? who has TIME??!! *whew* I know it well, and it stinks.

Your post sounds like that same emotional tug-of-war that I've had when I feel like I'm in relationship-limbo-- or anything-limbo, for that matter. I just wanna get on with it.. and I can't see the reasons why things aren't moving forward. My first reaction is to DO something.. but as I plan out what to do, I realize-- there's nothing I can do....and so I feel confused, lost, angry.. then detached..

Is this how you're feeling?

Aprilbaby.. I agree.. with part 😉.

So true- yet not always the case.

Life is confusing for all of us.. and some guys get stuck in limbo- as a result, the relationship is stuck in limbo- -and the lady is tearing her hair out. Does this make him a bad person? No. Does it make him someone not worth our interest? Not necessarily. Is losing one's self in love always a bad thing? I agree with you totally.. definitely..maybe... 😉 Depends on whether or not the respect (for each other and for youreslfe) is there, right?

So RIGHT .. So TRUE.. us ladies can always do better when we don't feel like we're in a healthy situation.

Thank you STD and April...

To your Question STD...YES YES YES I am soooo lost and confused....I have tried to do something..I have expressed my feeling over and over again. I have gotten soo angry as well that I might have caused myself more pain as well as causing him. Emotionally I am drained. I figured I would try to be patient and wait it out...Its been 2 years of waiting. Its seems as though, we are not getting closer but yet I know he is still there. I am afraid if I move on towards others or start a new relationship, he'll come back with full force. I don't want a third party to part take in a triangle. I don't want to start another relationship until I have completely gotten him out of my system. The question is?? When is this going to happen— I am sooo tired and want to move on. I just cant seem to get it together to save my own #ss. Why is this?? My life on a whole, has no conflicts. I have peace at work, my home life is stable and I am financially stable. Must say, that I am a very attractive female who has no problems in getting a man. He is the only man that I have had this experience with?? I have had enough and dont know when is enough?? I feel so crazy at times. I know once I let go, there will not be any turning back...I know that I have to go through some drama with any man in my life, its just Iam at a point where I need emotional security. We can go toe to toe whenever, I just want to be secured knowing, I am not going anywhere nor will he..I have tried to be humble but yet he pushes my buttons and it feels like fire under my #ss and There I blow!!!! I am so greaful that I have some many other great things happeing in my life that my emotions havent ruin these area. I cannot stay mad and will become very forgiving. Maybe, he doesnt deserve this of me. I want to chew him up and spit him out, but whats the point! It only makes me sorry and full of regret!!!! I know I have to let this gooo!!! Its just that I am going to have to dig up hurt feelings of what was said between us finding all the fault as to why he doesnt deserve me. Is this the right thing to do?? Why must bitterness be the answer to free my self from what I called plain heartace?? Talk to me ladies and share more of your thoughts and experiences..Sometimes it takes other to help us heal with taking the baggage with us towards our future relationship. I feel right now, that exactly what I will do. I trust first and see through rose colored glasses, seeing only the good in someone and not their fault. I know I surely have my own.......

Well, in my life.. relationships are rarely in a constant state-- or "stable". Mostly because people change all the time-- and I change... and there always seems to be this struggle to find balance.

Not to mention, if I ever reached a point where everything else about my life is "stable" then I would need something to put some fire under my feet. Perhaps, subconsciously, this is how you feel also. Perhaps you hold on this relationship because you need something to get you out of bed in the morning..

As for you not knowing where you stand, well...someone once told me, "uncertaintly yeilds our most valid intuition". That means to me, that maybe this is your best chance to run with your gut.

Stay..go.. no- stay.. GO..

I know when I'm stuck like that-- I go with the answer that is screaming the loudest.