Am I unfriendly and push people away?

Hello,

so all my life i thought that i was nice. Since teenage years i was very energetic and etc, i was centre of attention- didnt know why. Later on, at my university i needed to focus on work and studies and my Aries Aura with leo ascendant just faded away. I felt not being myself, stuck, sometimes depressed as i could not be myself. Additionally i had some problems with school, work and i became very fragile and emotional ( probably because of my Capricorn Moon). People would have used me, people would do things behind my back, people would not invite me because for them i was weak. And for myself i was weak as well, i didnt have my aries and leo spark within me.

But I decided to change my life, i had some kind of life's hard lessons and actually I decided to change emotionally. I developed a sharp mind and thick skin when i was 25. So that time gave me a better perspective of what I wanted to do in life and etc.

I was always the NICE type, a FRIENDLY TYPE of person, a person who was alwas a FRIEND not a GIRLFRIEND material.

I changed myself, I focused on myself and actually some people from the past didnt understand that i cut the relations and etc. Because it was me always who was dependable on others, i was almost always the one who needed to wait for others. I was not a priority. So i decided to change it and when I changed it people would be surprised of my behaviour or didnt understand why i had my stuff to do and I was also busy.

Additionally some people who perceived me as submissive before because i was not that assertive didnt understand that i could take initiative of my life and started gossiping about me and doing things behind my back.

I did some natal readings before this and i must say i checked my natal. It seems that I AM THE ONE who leaves people , dump people.I have a difficult aspect onvenus in the 7th on NN and it probably pushes people away or i cant make normal relations.

I also have saturn moon conjunction which is problematic and my moon in capricorn makes me a very serious person even when I am not inside. People would be afraid of me.

I do not know why all my life i have not been perceived as i wanted to. Now when i am 28 i would like to be perceived as funny but serious person who is responsible at work . I am perceived still as student-ishfinny woman who TRIES to work and TRIES to be popular.

I am just like this, i like people and have connections easily. It doesnt mean i want to be popular by chance. Some people think so and think also i am suspicious and do dark stuff behind their back.

Its not a true because i am friendly and its me who takes initiative frequently. And those who stays stays those who are scared leaves.

What do you think?

Thank you!!!

Posted by -Apis-

Hi🙋‍♂️

hello!

Posted by -Apis-

Posted by osse_p

Posted by -Apis-

Hi🙋‍♂️

hello!

You seem friendly to me.

click to expand

thank you ! haha what about my chart?

thank you, so in your opinion i need to make better boundaries? i think i have boundaries but even now sometimes people interrupt my speech or dont listen to me.

this is very weird . all my life i feel like im being testes .

that i have always been a nice type and people 'didnt let me' to be the 1st one. and when i changed it people were surprised that i could be the 1st one somewhere. like i would be weak in their eyes.

because i am not rude and vulgar. i dont scream and i dont need to be put in the centre of attention loudly.

when i am older i become more stoic and stable and i think before i act.

but people perceive me by the same pattern.

sometimes i feel i cant move on somehow. from the older patterns like upbringing, family and etc.