@DwellingOnMove
17 Years10,000+ Posts
Do you know a way to SHARE control with a Pluto person?
@blackphase lol
Posted by AerialView
@blackphase lol
thank you
I have pluto in the 8th house of scorpio... Mars as well too... I think far to many woman worry about being controlled... I think the media has been trying to make trouble between the males and females... Bottom line it is easier to control poor people economy then rich. You make people poor by creating an environment that men and woman hate each other.
These days with progressive democrats constantly pushing that woman don't get a fair shake in any situation which is a joke... they are trying to make men change. What is really happening is they try to find a guy that will "treat them right." Normally this means that woman want all the control and expect men to honestly have none...
Not I am a centrist political wise so I am not a Trump or Obama fan... I believe they are both extremes and people will pay eventually for both of there actions.
Give me an example how you are feeling controlled by them...? I personally am very open with my relationships and believe that it needs to built on trust. Most people fail to do this so they are extremely jealous and so on.
Piscesmoon
I would instinctively look at their 4th house condition for sharing living quarters; 10th house for co-workers; 5th/7th house for lovers, committed relationships... as is usual.
Ultimately, logic, silence, and quiet strength have helped me... Coupled with acts of altruism.
But, as you know synastry is synastry.
My husband has Moon in 4th square Pluto 7th...imagine that. But, I have Pluto 8th.
Posted by VenusAquarius
I would instinctively look at their 4th house condition for sharing living quarters; 10th house for co-workers; 5th/7th house for lovers, committed relationships... as is usual.Ultimately, logic, silence, and quiet strength have helped me... Coupled with acts of altruism.
But, as you know synastry is synastry.
My husband has Moon in 4th square Pluto 7th...imagine that. But, I have Pluto 8th.
thank you very much.
the first part is unfortunately difficult to do. One person does not give me birth info. The other one is not able to know it.
the second part was bomb. logic, silence, quiet strength. altruism.
so you say there was still the chance that your voice be heard? could your ideas/wants/needs contribute to the togethership?
Posted by Neno2
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Let's assume 8th house Suns, Pluto conj Sun/AC/Mars, Scorp Suns/Mars, in synastry Pluto square Sun, and whatever I forgot. If I have to get along with such a person (bf, siblings, room-mate, and such), how can we cooperate without me losing 100% of control? Is there any way to achieve this? How many percents of DA CONTROL have a chance to stay with me?
I have all these placements?i have control 100% of time
click to expand
not even 1% shared with a sweet Pisces sister?
Posted by piscesmoon2
... Give me an example how you are feeling controlled by them...? ...
one of them wanted me to go to visit a person I avoid currently, and got really pissed off cause I did not obey. we had a quarrel. now we don't talk anymore either.
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by VenusAquarius
I would instinctively look at their 4th house condition for sharing living quarters; 10th house for co-workers; 5th/7th house for lovers, committed relationships... as is usual.Ultimately, logic, silence, and quiet strength have helped me... Coupled with acts of altruism.
But, as you know synastry is synastry.
My husband has Moon in 4th square Pluto 7th...imagine that. But, I have Pluto 8th.
thank you very much.the first part is unfortunately difficult to do. One person does not give me birth info. The other one is not able to know it.
the second part was bomb. logic, silence, quiet strength. altruism.
so you say there was still the chance that your voice be heard? could your ideas/wants/needs contribute to the togethership?
click to expand
I had a lot of practice as a child. It is extremely important to not sweat the small stuff. Pettiness is where the foolishness lives. Little emotion, straight, direct but... Benevolence. My voice is heard because I do not mix words. Power, control, comes with responsibility, investment. Sometimes it's good to take on more responsibility for more control. Wherever control is wanted, more responsibility should be taken on. Often it is money....
Posted by Neno2
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by Neno2
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Let's assume 8th house Suns, Pluto conj Sun/AC/Mars, Scorp Suns/Mars, in synastry Pluto square Sun, and whatever I forgot. If I have to get along with such a person (bf, siblings, room-mate, and such), how can we cooperate without me losing 100% of control? Is there any way to achieve this? How many percents of DA CONTROL have a chance to stay with me?
I have all these placements?i have control 100% of time
not even 1% shared with a sweet Pisces sister?Not really?u dont need any control just relax?
click to expand
so if we are going out to dine this weekend, will you listen to me?
My scorp once called me to say let us go to your favorite restaurant (btw it was not my favorite, he just assumed it). Then when we were windows shoping of the restaurants he changed his mind and we went to totally another place. You see I bring some extent of flexibility. Still I see myself conflicted.
Posted by VenusAquarius
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by VenusAquarius
I would instinctively look at their 4th house condition for sharing living quarters; 10th house for co-workers; 5th/7th house for lovers, committed relationships... as is usual.Ultimately, logic, silence, and quiet strength have helped me... Coupled with acts of altruism.
But, as you know synastry is synastry.
My husband has Moon in 4th square Pluto 7th...imagine that. But, I have Pluto 8th.
thank you very much.the first part is unfortunately difficult to do. One person does not give me birth info. The other one is not able to know it.
the second part was bomb. logic, silence, quiet strength. altruism.
so you say there was still the chance that your voice be heard? could your ideas/wants/needs contribute to the togethership?
...not sweat the small stuff. Pettiness is where the foolishness lives.
Little emotion, straight, direct but... Benevolence.
My voice is heard because I do not mix words.
Power, control, comes with responsibility, investment.
Sometimes it's good to take on more responsibility for more control.
Wherever control is wanted, more responsibility should be taken on. Often it is money....
click to expand
wow, that's gold.
I think of these two persons and I see how I was "not petty" for several things until we got to the threshold. It seems as if an internal counter in my subconsciousness was counting how many times they dictated things upon me until a certain number was reached. maybe I don't have enough stamina. maybe obeying is not fun for me.
but who knows? maybe it was just the Ascendant of the hour that changed and triggered us? lol
wondering if I am the only one interested in this subject. I mean as querent at least.
It's called Plutonic relationship.
Here, this might help...
Posted by blackphase
Posted by AerialView
@blackphase lol
Hahaha.. Yes, I am one of these control freaks..
OP can you give me some examples of where you are struggling with these individuals and maybe I can better help.
click to expand
on the first page I gave some examples.
now here another one:
one person asked me what should they change in them so that I wanted more contact, dialogue, and phone talks with them.
I said I know that I should be able to communicate no matter which astrological info are known to me. But I guess many misunderstandings can vanish if they would also learn about our astrological profiles. That we could talk in that language with each other. We could address at our frustration with each other. Also I sent a text about Moon in Pisces.
that person answered in an email at two persons including me, "she says let's read abou about Venus and Pluto, I say let's remember the days we all were camping and enjoying the nature".
I was asked by "you" and answered by "she".
My opinion was asked and became refuted ASAP. ok, there can be no obligation in this. Now we are back at the passive-aggressive contact.
Posted by neves
It's called Plutonic relationship.Here, this might help...
youtube XVGs1yz5vl4
thank you neves. I listened to both about 12 minutes and decided to listen to the second one today.
ok, the video is intresting.
I'm only confused if everybody paired with a Scorp goes through these phases.
could it be the question is stupid?
if Pluto is about to destruct to build anew, so it can accept lukewarm solutions?
Posted by Neno2
... being in control doesn't mean u be locked away ...
I have a theoretical question.
When you consume astrological stuff talking about Pluto energy/behavior/tendencies, and just if you have tend to identify yourself with some parts,
- do you think the Plutonic placement wants control?
- or do you think it will destruct something?
in other words can you remember of things or persons you destroyed or wished you could destroy? can you remember things or persons you changed by harassing them unp to the sky?
my Q is how would you describe yourself (at this corner: control.power.destruction.change.transformation.) by usage of astrological jargon?
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
It's called Plutonic relationship.Here, this might help...
youtube XVGs1yz5vl4
thank you neves. I listened to both about 12 minutes and decided to listen to the second one today.ok, the video is intresting.
I'm only confused if everybody paired with a Scorp goes through these phases.
click to expand
I like this observation:
"What you're saying about pluto relationships as restricting growth and not wanting the other person to change is contradicting what you said in your sun conjunct pluto video, where your main point is that the pluto poses a threat to the sun because s/he compels the sun person to change their identity. Can you explain this contradiction, please?"
^^^^ somebody said in the comment section of the video.
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
It's called Plutonic relationship.Here, this might help...
youtube XVGs1yz5vl4
thank you neves. I listened to both about 12 minutes and decided to listen to the second one today.ok, the video is intresting.
I'm only confused if everybody paired with a Scorp goes through these phases.
I like this observation:"What you're saying about pluto relationships as restricting growth and not wanting the other person to change is contradicting what you said in your sun conjunct pluto video, where your main point is that the pluto poses a threat to the sun because s/he compels the sun person to change their identity. Can you explain this contradiction, please?"
^^^^ somebody said in the comment section of the video.
click to expand
Actually, through Pluto one can achieve the fastest level of growth. But it's a growth derived from a very painful experience - where the Plutonic influences forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. Pluto is a catalyst for Change. Even more so than Saturn - where the changed is structured (like building something). In a way, it's quite the opposite - cause Pluto is set on demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). Saturn places an extra emphasis on maturity (where sometimes you can get stuck on the old way), while Pluto has more to do with strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns / while Saturn has more to do with endurance). Thus, it forces you to shade your old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
Posted by Neno2
... being in control doesn't mean u be locked away ...
it does.
+
Posted by Neno2
Posted by DwellingOnMove
... control.power.destruction.change.transformation...
... want to build things?... something new ... get rid of the old?... destroy social norms ... rules established by other ...
click to expand
ah, ok. thank you for the response.
I still think that the person who has to (or wants to) share control with the 8th house person is in the position of a begger. He/she may or may not go to eat ice cream with the Pluto person, cause it may or may not be a reward or atonement.
At this point I remember what Linda Goodman's Sun sign says about how to deal with Scorpio (obey first and hope they get back at what you wanted later), what VenusAquarius told, and how I had my first ice cream with my Scorp. Now I see my post is pointless for myself (maybe not for other readers). I know how to share control with an 8th house people. I just forget it. Or the game is not fun anymore. Or.. or...
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.
Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
"Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now."
Well, ok, as a Sag Sun with Pisces Moon I can even identify with those small particles in the earth that will carry me.
As Rumi says:
I died as a mineral and became a plant,
I died as plant and rose to animal,
I died as animal and I was Man.
Why should I fear? When was I less by dying?
Yet once more I shall die as Man, to soar
With angels blest; but even from angelhood
I must pass on: all except God doth perish.
When I have sacrificed my angel-soul,
I shall become what no mind e'er conceived.
Oh, let me not exist! for Non-existence
Proclaims in organ tones, 'To Him we shall return.'
--Jalal ed-Din Rumi (1207-1273) Translated by A.J. Arberry
^^^^^^^^^ this seems to be only nice, poetic and good for a show-off. In reality I avoided the deal with the death angel. is it cause Stellium in the 1st house?
Posted by DwellingOnMove
wondering if I am the only one interested in this subject. I mean as querent at least.
bump this
Posted by piscesmoon2
... I think far to many woman worry about being controlled... media ... economy ....
No, I think, you don't see that control has overlapping with free will. And will has overlapping with "I". And by nature living creatures tend not to destroy their own identity.
that is this is how they see it with the old identity. they fight for it as long as they can.
but given that living creature loses the old identity and gets a new one, they may like the new one and defend this one EITHER as much as they can.
relinquish all control, give yourself to them entirely.
relinquish all control, give yourself to them entirely.
Posted by Toa
relinquish all control, give yourself to them entirely.
makin' it visible
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
click to expand
Revolutions are more Uranian in nature.
Pluto is more like "out with old - in with the new" - it's about shading your current shell - which is not useful to you anymore. Thus, It keeps you in a weak state. It's when people feel like they wanna die... be it cause they're dealing with some terminal illness - and death is the only cure to their miserable existence (when they're a burden to themselves and those around), or because their stuck on old patterns... an old personality/identity - which used to work for them in the past but now- it's holding them back.
As for Uranus. That too can inspire change and bringing down structures - but Uranus has more to do with freeing oneself from external shackles. It's not your own identity that's holding you back but your obedience to an external source - to something that goes against your nature. Some state of oppression. Be in some authoritative figure/system, or some situation - where you feel somehow trapped (a job, a relationship or even living with someone) - since it goes against your nature. Thus, you can't be yourself. You can't be free... and that makes you rebel.
Posted by neves
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
Revolutions are more Uranian in nature.
Pluto is more like "out with old - in with the new" - it's about shading your current shell - which is not useful to you anymore. Thus, It keeps you in a weak state. It's when people feel like they wanna die... be it cause they're dealing with some terminal illness - and death is the only cure to their miserable existence (when they're a burden to themselves and those around), or because their stuck on old patterns... an old personality/identity - which used to work for them in the past but now- it's holding them back.
As for Uranus. That too can inspire change and bringing down structures - but Uranus has more to do with freeing oneself from external shackles. It's not your own identity that's holding you back but your obedience to an external source - to something that goes against your nature. Some state of oppression. Be in some authoritative figure/system, or some situation - where you feel somehow trapped (a job, a relationship or even living with someone) - since it goes against your nature. Thus, you can't be yourself. You can't be free... and that makes you rebel.
click to expand
I understand.
But consider also that when revolutionary guard is about to kill your father and y'all have to leave your home land. It is destroying whatever you had up until now. Security, job, home, family...
I meant in life there come days where your power is challenged. restricted. lost.
The other point about the disease, yeah that is a good example. Or one of the Picasso's girls who committed suicide. another example.
Posted by neves
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
Revolutions are more Uranian in nature.
Pluto is more like "out with old - in with the new" - it's about shading your current shell - which is not useful to you anymore. Thus, It keeps you in a weak state. It's when people feel like they wanna die... be it cause they're dealing with some terminal illness - and death is the only cure to their miserable existence (when they're a burden to themselves and those around), or because their stuck on old patterns... an old personality/identity - which used to work for them in the past but now- it's holding them back.
As for Uranus. That too can inspire change and bringing down structures - but Uranus has more to do with freeing oneself from external shackles. It's not your own identity that's holding you back but your obedience to an external source - to something that goes against your nature. Some state of oppression. Be in some authoritative figure/system, or some situation - where you feel somehow trapped (a job, a relationship or even living with someone) - since it goes against your nature. Thus, you can't be yourself. You can't be free... and that makes you rebel.
click to expand
I love Uranian changes. I have aspects to my natal Uranus. Also Sag Venus loves adventures. yep.
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
Revolutions are more Uranian in nature.
Pluto is more like "out with old - in with the new" - it's about shading your current shell - which is not useful to you anymore. Thus, It keeps you in a weak state. It's when people feel like they wanna die... be it cause they're dealing with some terminal illness - and death is the only cure to their miserable existence (when they're a burden to themselves and those around), or because their stuck on old patterns... an old personality/identity - which used to work for them in the past but now- it's holding them back.
As for Uranus. That too can inspire change and bringing down structures - but Uranus has more to do with freeing oneself from external shackles. It's not your own identity that's holding you back but your obedience to an external source - to something that goes against your nature. Some state of oppression. Be in some authoritative figure/system, or some situation - where you feel somehow trapped (a job, a relationship or even living with someone) - since it goes against your nature. Thus, you can't be yourself. You can't be free... and that makes you rebel.
I understand.But consider also that when revolutionary guard is about to kill your father and y'all have to leave your home land. It is destroying whatever you had up until now. Security, job, home, family...
I meant in life there come days where your power is challenged. restricted. lost.
The other point about the disease, yeah that is a good example. Or one of the Picasso's girls who committed suicide. another example.
click to expand
Yes, but Pluto has more to do with "letting go... of the past - of your former self...". So in above example... you're suppose give up on your own life and start a new life. The sooner you make that choice (to let go) - the better. If you leave soon you can loose your home and all the other stuff you got attached to, but you could save your family... If you hold on to that attachment and wait longer - you might end-up loosing part of your family... If hold on to it stubbornly (like a Taurus) - you could loose all your family including yourself.
Or, you could chose the Martian way and fight back. Which could still imply the loose of everything - but with Martians is mainly about the fight...
Posted by neves
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
... fastest level of growth. ... painful experience - ... forces you to change - as way to move on and survive that experience. ... catalyst for Change. ... demolishing your old structures - the ones that are holding you back (even if those structures is something you perceived as healthy at one point - "some belief system - for example"). ... strength (a strength derived from accepting the current state of reality - as it is - and letting go of unhealthy patterns ...). ... old skin and transform into someone stronger - someone who can surpass a state where you felt weak before.
I can understand these statements.Pluto encounter is like those parts of life where our power is challenged by external factors, where our resources can only do so much. Like when a revolution happens and you belong to the less fortunate side.
Also I know when death happens, you are not there anymore to see what a wonderful new skin you have now.
Revolutions are more Uranian in nature.
Pluto is more like "out with old - in with the new" - it's about shading your current shell - which is not useful to you anymore. Thus, It keeps you in a weak state. It's when people feel like they wanna die... be it cause they're dealing with some terminal illness - and death is the only cure to their miserable existence (when they're a burden to themselves and those around), or because their stuck on old patterns... an old personality/identity - which used to work for them in the past but now- it's holding them back.
As for Uranus. That too can inspire change and bringing down structures - but Uranus has more to do with freeing oneself from external shackles. It's not your own identity that's holding you back but your obedience to an external source - to something that goes against your nature. Some state of oppression. Be in some authoritative figure/system, or some situation - where you feel somehow trapped (a job, a relationship or even living with someone) - since it goes against your nature. Thus, you can't be yourself. You can't be free... and that makes you rebel.
I understand.But consider also that when revolutionary guard is about to kill your father and y'all have to leave your home land. It is destroying whatever you had up until now. Security, job, home, family...
I meant in life there come days where your power is challenged. restricted. lost.
The other point about the disease, yeah that is a good example. Or one of the Picasso's girls who committed suicide. another example.
Yes, but Pluto has more to do with "letting go... of the past - of your former self...". So in above example... you're suppose give up on your own life and start a new life. The sooner you make that choice (to let go) - the better. If you leave soon you can loose your home and all the other stuff you got attached to, but you could save your family... If you hold on to that attachment and wait longer - you might end-up loosing part of your family... If hold on to it stubbornly (like a Taurus) - you could loose all your family including yourself.
Or, you could chose the Martian way and fight back. Which could still imply the loose of everything - but with Martians is mainly about the fight...
click to expand
wow. you are right. this is the difference. really plausible.
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by neves
...Yes, but Pluto has more to do with "letting go... of the past - of your former self...". So in above example... you're suppose give up on your own life and start a new life. The sooner you make that choice (to let go) - the better. If you leave soon you can loose your home and all the other stuff you got attached to, but you could save your family... If you hold on to that attachment and wait longer - you might end-up loosing part of your family... If hold on to it stubbornly (like a Taurus) - you could loose all your family including yourself.
Or, you could chose the Martian way and fight back. Which could still imply the loose of everything - but with Martians is mainly about the fight...
do you think a certain talent is needed to be receptive? so that I could say, "lesson learned, I've been stubborn and resisting, now better keep distance and let them live their lives".or is it more like this is a job and must be done sooner or later; cause for example the Pluto person is lost as long as he/she has not done her/his job; so that there cannot be a "let go" unless in one transformational way?
now in an example (and it is not about a man-woman relationship): should I keep distance from this person cause we make no progress? or should I try to give them more credability and follow their ideas until we get peace and I am changed?
click to expand
It's rare for people who don't have a strong Pluto in their chart - to end-up in a Plutonian relationship (which is defined by the synastry / the aspects between Pluto and the personal planets). Even if they do - they won't stay very long - cause they don't know how to deal with that type of intensity (they're not used to it - so it makes them uncomfortable really fast). On the other hand, the ones who do have a strong Pluto in their chart - crave for that intensity (intense feelings for one another). Without it... doesn't feel like real love. It's why... when they do find it (that type of connection) - it can be hard to let each-other go.
And yet, that's exactly what they have to do - to be able to move forward: to let go of old habits that are holding them back (habits that are not beneficial to their current state). For example: Plutonians who struggled with Pluto and chose its dark side (so to speak) - may have a tendency to express their Plutonian influence in a negative way: through power-plays or by being controlling. And now, through this relationship - they're faced with the opportunity - to cleanse their old wounds... to shed away that dead skin that's still attached to them - plaguing their soul - as a source of misery (the former-self... that suborn/fixed identity where the negative traits of Pluto took roots).
In a Plutonian relationship, it helps - for both parties to be conscious of this tendencies. Or else, if they're being unconscious and act out their Pluto in a negative way... their love will turn to hate. For example: they'll turn controlling and power hungry - and thus, instead of embracing their own personal change - they'll be more focused on the other party - and try to change their partner instead. Which, obviously... in most cases is perceived as an attack. Since the Ego/Persona - is the one that's resilient to change - and that situation can trigger ones insecurities (if you expect someone to change - basically, you're making it clear that she/he's not good enough). And thus, that partner might turn defensive - by being quite offensive and say the most hateful things. That's where it all starts to brake apart - where, their hate for each-other will consume them... And yet, they might still find it hard to let go - while thinking of the positive side - of that rare intensity they both yearned for. The unconscious way... is basically "the hard way" - cause this experience will obviously have a changing impact on both of them.
"now in an example (and it is not about a man-woman relationship): should I keep distance from this person cause we make no progress? or should I try to give them more credability and follow their ideas until we get peace and I am changed? "
Even if it's not a romantic relationship - the same principle applies. Let's say it's about a family member (father, sister whatever...). Same as above, the focus should be on yourself... instead of them. Maybe, in the past - they were shitty in some way and that hasn't changed. People can change only if they embrace change - so nothing you do or say can change that (them in this case). After all, it's hard enough to change ourselves. And yet, even though - it might be close to impossible to change your father - same can't be said about yourself. As in: learn to let go of the past - of that Platonian hate you may harbor inside (in relation to that individual). Learn to forgive them by accepting them for whom they are, by accepting that... you can't change them and nor do you have that obligation. You only have that obligation to yourself. And ofc... if they're dangerous keep the distance. Tho, while embracing this change - by letting go of the past (and thus cleansing your wounds) - you'll start to notice a newly found state of freedom. The freedom that comes - with becoming a new person. You'll realize that it's actually your attachment to the past - that was holding you back... not the other party. Let's say it's your father - and he's an alcoholic, as a new person - you'll see him with new eyes.
I'm so grateful for your insight and specially the time you dedicated to my questions. Let's hope this plays an important role in how I handle my Pluto people in future.
PS: my new boss is a Pluto person too. :-)
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Let's assume 8th house Suns, Pluto conj Sun/AC/Mars, Scorp Suns/Mars, in synastry Pluto square Sun, and whatever I forgot. If I have to get along with such a person (bf, siblings, room-mate, and such), how can we cooperate without me losing 100% of control? Is there any way to achieve this? How many percents of DA CONTROL have a chance to stay with me?