For the first time in my life i actually try to escape reality ..

So normally as a saggy moon i do not let my emotions take over for too long but since a month i have been going crazy overindulging alcohol sex,drugs and shit smoking where as i never smoked ... i hope this is a phase because i am really through things right now life has been a struggle but i am hanging in there..

I kinda miss love and someone to hold i feel so damn sentimental and weak blughhh emotions!!!!!

So i am still talking with my ex and trying to move on from certain things but i am kinda stuck trying to figure out what i want and need in life.

I have become a whole other person since the break up like it has sucked the soul out of me i feel like i wanna do some risky shit and not give a fck but luckily my virgo sun is keeping me somewhat tamed.

Posted by dewiklaessen277

So normally as a saggy moon i do not let my emotions take over for too long but since a month i have been going crazy overindulging alcohol sex,drugs and shit smoking where as i never smoked ... i hope this is a phase because i am really through things right now life has been a struggle but i am hanging in there..

I kinda miss love and someone to hold i feel so damn sentimental and weak blughhh emotions!!!!!

So i am still talking with my ex and trying to move on from certain things but i am kinda stuck trying to figure out what i want and need in life.

I have become a whole other person since the break up like it has sucked the soul out of me i feel like i wanna do some risky shit and not give a fck but luckily my virgo sun is keeping me somewhat tamed.

sorry for your pain - hang as tight as you can and keep it between the lines - you'll figure it out soon

Posted by tctaap

Posted by dewiklaessen277

So normally as a saggy moon i do not let my emotions take over for too long but since a month i have been going crazy overindulging alcohol sex,drugs and shit smoking where as i never smoked ... i hope this is a phase because i am really through things right now life has been a struggle but i am hanging in there..

I kinda miss love and someone to hold i feel so damn sentimental and weak blughhh emotions!!!!!

So i am still talking with my ex and trying to move on from certain things but i am kinda stuck trying to figure out what i want and need in life.

I have become a whole other person since the break up like it has sucked the soul out of me i feel like i wanna do some risky shit and not give a fck but luckily my virgo sun is keeping me somewhat tamed.

sorry for your pain - hang as tight as you can and keep it between the lines - you'll figure it out soon

click to expand

I am trying very hard i already lost control once

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by tctaap

Posted by dewiklaessen277

So normally as a saggy moon i do not let my emotions take over for too long but since a month i have been going crazy overindulging alcohol sex,drugs and shit smoking where as i never smoked ... i hope this is a phase because i am really through things right now life has been a struggle but i am hanging in there..

I kinda miss love and someone to hold i feel so damn sentimental and weak blughhh emotions!!!!!

So i am still talking with my ex and trying to move on from certain things but i am kinda stuck trying to figure out what i want and need in life.

I have become a whole other person since the break up like it has sucked the soul out of me i feel like i wanna do some risky shit and not give a fck but luckily my virgo sun is keeping me somewhat tamed.

sorry for your pain - hang as tight as you can and keep it between the lines - you'll figure it out soon

I am trying very hard i already lost control once

click to expand

I'm sure that was scary, at least I hope it was scary enough for you to not do that again - I know you are trying hard. It is hard. It's hard as shit. Try to get more exercise and work it out that way maybe - I don't know - it's so hard for one to help another through this.

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

FFs are people too...

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

you stuck in the past ? so what does that have anything to do with this can you come up with something new

Neptune is in Pisces, opposing our Virgo Suns in the process. Be careful, these are the worst times for drugs or alcohol, or any addiction. Try to find healthy and more refined ways to escape reality, like ( Kundalini )Yoga or meditation, etc

From your past relationship posts I always kinda suspected you had BPD....... but ya know don't let me gaslight you into it.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Neptune is in Pisces, opposing our Virgo Suns in the process. Be careful, these are the worst times for drugs or alcohol, or any addiction. Try to find healthy and more refined ways to escape reality, like ( Kundalini )Yoga or meditation, etc

Neptune is currently in my 3th house halveway i don't know what that causes in my general chart i have Neptune and Uranus and my Moon in the 1st house i am very intuitive and sensitive to environment ... they say when you have Neptune in your 1st house you can get prone to addiction i honestly never been addicted to anything luckily i am too greedy to pay for it so i only use it whenever someone else has it.

i am eating healthy in general and i do yoga just sometimes i feel like i need more out of life but i am trying to figure that out now thanks for your concern i do think i need to slow it down but for the first time their are no breaks maybe because i have been feeling trapped within my relationship that i do things now i don't know

Posted by enfant_terrible

From your past relationship posts I always kinda suspected you had BPD....... but ya know don't let me gaslight you into it.

I don't have borderline sometimes people can trigger you and get under your skin (which i let happen too many times) until you reach a moment where you snap

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Neptune is in Pisces, opposing our Virgo Suns in the process. Be careful, these are the worst times for drugs or alcohol, or any addiction. Try to find healthy and more refined ways to escape reality, like ( Kundalini )Yoga or meditation, etc

I see you are from the Netherlands too 😄

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by enfant_terrible

From your past relationship posts I always kinda suspected you had BPD....... but ya know don't let me gaslight you into it.

I don't have borderline sometimes people can trigger you and get under your skin (which i let happen too many times) until you reach a moment where you snap

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Us Virgos are known for acting passive-aggressive so if you "snap", you only have yourself to blame for it for not being able to express your annoyance whenever you feel annoyed at someone.

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Neptune is in Pisces, opposing our Virgo Suns in the process. Be careful, these are the worst times for drugs or alcohol, or any addiction. Try to find healthy and more refined ways to escape reality, like ( Kundalini )Yoga or meditation, etc

I see you are from the Netherlands too 😄

click to expand

I live in The NL indeed though I'm originally from South America.

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Neptune is in Pisces, opposing our Virgo Suns in the process. Be careful, these are the worst times for drugs or alcohol, or any addiction. Try to find healthy and more refined ways to escape reality, like ( Kundalini )Yoga or meditation, etc

Neptune is currently in my 3th house halveway i don't know what that causes in my general chart i have Neptune and Uranus and my Moon in the 1st house i am very intuitive and sensitive to environment ... they say when you have Neptune in your 1st house you can get prone to addiction i honestly never been addicted to anything luckily i am too greedy to pay for it so i only use it whenever someone else has it.

i am eating healthy in general and i do yoga just sometimes i feel like i need more out of life but i am trying to figure that out now thanks for your concern i do think i need to slow it down but for the first time their are no breaks maybe because i have been feeling trapped within my relationship that i do things now i don't know

click to expand

It's quite normal to feel trapped in a relationship, at times. In many cases it is the result of someone not serving their own needs enough and instead of doing just that, they "escape" the issue by serving your partner's needs too much, until it wears them out, then they...snap at their partner, the partner never saw it coming cause they were never communicated there was an issue in the first place so.. . your own fault.

Posted by Mariposa_

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

you stuck in the past ? so what does that have anything to do with this can you come up with something new

This is why you’re not healing and doing irrational things because you’re trying to run from the pain and yourself.

It’s time to look within yourself and the past, see where you fcked up, accept what has truly happened and than you can move forward but this passive aggressive “you still stuck in the past?” Talk will get you no where in life.

Mature people accept their failures, and could haves.

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I have accepted failure I just don't have to get reminded of it a 100 times and I do not only talk I'm actually trying to get the best out of life I always have people around me who remind me so I can't move on that is the fucking problem

Posted by Mariposa_

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

you stuck in the past ? so what does that have anything to do with this can you come up with something new

This is why you’re not healing and doing irrational things because you’re trying to run from the pain and yourself.

It’s time to look within yourself and the past, see where you fcked up, accept what has truly happened and than you can move forward but this passive aggressive “you still stuck in the past?” Talk will get you no where in life.

Mature people accept their failures, and could haves.

click to expand

I accept things I learn from them and I move on I do not run I never do I express myself very loud and I let it out I am very expressive I just need to remove people out of my life who don't vibe the same as I do

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

you stuck in the past ? so what does that have anything to do with this can you come up with something new

Femme fatales don’t change. You probably don’t have any power.

If you were, you wouldn’t be so weak right now.

Quit giving everyone attitude just because you can’t be real with yourself.

Smarten the fuck up

click to expand

What weak I'm not weak nobody has to ever call me weak you don't know my history and you don't know how strong I am..just because I fall off the wagon once in my life doesn't make me weak it"s called a phase everything is temporarily so are certain feelings.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by Arielle83

I thought you were a “femme fatale”?

you stuck in the past ? so what does that have anything to do with this can you come up with something new

Femme fatales don’t change. You probably don’t have any power.

If you were, you wouldn’t be so weak right now.

Quit giving everyone attitude just because you can’t be real with yourself.

Smarten the fuck up

click to expand

I do have power I just don't abuse it like I used to

This is something new, you are doing?

I think I can relate to how you feel and what you are doing. Only I have been doing it for almost half my life. My friends talk about working out is her room to breathe, where she just is and don't think about stuff, where she can escape everything. But me, I do that with alcohol and used to also be weed. I've never been addicted and used either everyday, but still to this day I drink 'till I throw up and can't remember anything. I wake up walking my hood no idea how I got there, I lose things all the time, talk to peole and say stuff I can't remember, miss entire shows because I'm busy being drunk off my face. It's not normal. Not at my age and not for that many years. At one point it just became habbit, but it becomes more and more clear that it is now preventing from being present in the moment and make use of the moment for my life further ahead. Do you have this top?

Escaping reality you only think in the moment, and not how destructive you are being to yourself and your future. I live too much in the moment, but am unable to feel the moment, 'cause I' m drunk.

Just saw the doc on Amy Winehouse..r.i.p. Several of her friends say, that she just wanted someone to tell her no, to tell her to stop and show her, they cared. Personally I could really relate to that. I go wild and crazy sometimes, but actually I just want someone to sit me down and tell me to stop. But the people to do that have to be strong too, 'cause I'll fight them to keep going.

Posted by starlord

This is something new, you are doing?

I think I can relate to how you feel and what you are doing. Only I have been doing it for almost half my life. My friends talk about working out is her room to breathe, where she just is and don't think about stuff, where she can escape everything. But me, I do that with alcohol and used to also be weed. I've never been addicted and used either everyday, but still to this day I drink 'till I throw up and can't remember anything. I wake up walking my hood no idea how I got there, I lose things all the time, talk to peole and say stuff I can't remember, miss entire shows because I'm busy being drunk off my face. It's not normal. Not at my age and not for that many years. At one point it just became habbit, but it becomes more and more clear that it is now preventing from being present in the moment and make use of the moment for my life further ahead. Do you have this top?

Escaping reality you only think in the moment, and not how destructive you are being to yourself and your future. I live too much in the moment, but am unable to feel the moment, 'cause I' m drunk.

Just saw the doc on Amy Winehouse..r.i.p. Several of her friends say, that she just wanted someone to tell her no, to tell her to stop and show her, they cared. Personally I could really relate to that. I go wild and crazy sometimes, but actually I just want someone to sit me down and tell me to stop. But the people to do that have to be strong too, 'cause I'll fight them to keep going.

what is your sun moon rising and mars ? i am trying to slap myself in the face very often because i really feel like if i let this go further it will be out of control i have been throwing up and drinking excessively but how do you hold up now ?

Posted by dewiklaessen277

Posted by starlord

This is something new, you are doing?

I think I can relate to how you feel and what you are doing. Only I have been doing it for almost half my life. My friends talk about working out is her room to breathe, where she just is and don't think about stuff, where she can escape everything. But me, I do that with alcohol and used to also be weed. I've never been addicted and used either everyday, but still to this day I drink 'till I throw up and can't remember anything. I wake up walking my hood no idea how I got there, I lose things all the time, talk to peole and say stuff I can't remember, miss entire shows because I'm busy being drunk off my face. It's not normal. Not at my age and not for that many years. At one point it just became habbit, but it becomes more and more clear that it is now preventing from being present in the moment and make use of the moment for my life further ahead. Do you have this top?

Escaping reality you only think in the moment, and not how destructive you are being to yourself and your future. I live too much in the moment, but am unable to feel the moment, 'cause I' m drunk.

Just saw the doc on Amy Winehouse..r.i.p. Several of her friends say, that she just wanted someone to tell her no, to tell her to stop and show her, they cared. Personally I could really relate to that. I go wild and crazy sometimes, but actually I just want someone to sit me down and tell me to stop. But the people to do that have to be strong too, 'cause I'll fight them to keep going.

what is your sun moon rising and mars ? i am trying to slap myself in the face very often because i really feel like if i let this go further it will be out of control i have been throwing up and drinking excessively but how do you hold up now ?

click to expand

I got so drunk I threw up this friday, soo... And I don't even remember doing it. And I don't remember much of what I was doing. I was at an event I had been looking very much forward to going to, but next say I see a bunch of performances on instagram that I don't even remember. I sabotaged myself completely!!! And had a friend 10 years younger than me clean me of vomit. She said I almost cried when she helped me, and I almost do thinking about it, 'cause I have a very hard time accepting help and care, I guess. Atm I try to just focus on that whole experience and why I do it and what it gives me and ask myself : is that really how you want to live your life?!

I am very low key seing a professional, only 2 times now. But maybe that will have an impact on me too.

Oh and I am scorpio-sag cusp (reading on astrology paiges sometimes I'm one, sometimes the other, so it's right on the cusp), aries moon I believe, and I think scorpio rising.