What am i?

Hello. Forgive me if this is the wrong place to post it.

I am born on the 21st march 1993. I've researched that I'm an aries (and more researched that i'm a pisces/aries cusp). So far, I've only found out that my sun is in aries, moon in pisces and ascending in taurus. I'm still trying to figure out about houses and planets (or any other sort that I've missed).

I am basically a very sensitive person, that I've kept a lot of emotions to myself. I take it personally sometimes even when people joke around (be it a small or huge one). Only recently I've talked a bit about my stresses for the first time. I feel like stresses actually push people away (of which i'm not sure).

I've longed for a relationship, even though never had one, or someone who actually cared for me (never really even when I was a child), as I've only experienced it once when i was abroad 4 years ago but never again until now. All the attention goes to my younger brother, who was born on the 21st february 1997. I feel like my existence is pretty much useless, i'm already feeling like a ghost right now. I like helping people but in return, i didn't get the respect back and that made me feel like I'm being used. But again, I would always give out a hand, depending on the situation and the closeness of our friendship, even when people used me.

Social life isn't really a big part of my life. I hang out with the people that I'm close with. My circle of friends are very small (all countable by fingers), I would say I haven't had any contact from my secondary school friends. Everyone that wants to hang out always contact through my sibling instead of me, since we share the same sports club (that's where I feel unneeded again). I love hanging out with my small circle of friends but sometimes it feels too much to ask for as they might not want to hang out or i might be disturbing them. Sometimes when hanging out, I don't even know what to say and that in return, made me worry that i'm a boring person to hang out with. I am quite possessive of my friends as I don't have much, I get envious of what they have sometimes and jealous when they hang out with their group of friends. I feel like I'm just "another" friend, or a spare friend to hang out when they're bored from time to time.

I am often misunderstood sometimes when I talk, some people don't even understand what I'm talking about so I have to repeat myself 3-4 times. Often at times, people tend to ignore what i said even. This, too, made me picky about my friends.

I love isolating myself but then my mind tend to overthink a lot which made me depress at times.

To think back, yes, I do get angry a lot when I was younger (like an aries) but now, I just get very depress. I put all the blame to myself instead of getting angry at others now. All the more to my sadness, I'm feeling very suicidal, having negative thoughts, that I'm not good enough and such. This has been happening since a year ago or two.

Back to the topic, I am very lost and confused right now. what am i really? does the house and/or planet affects me so much? I'm an aries (or a pisces/aries cusp). Why do I feel so much pisces or emotional? and last i've check, I'm straight.

Please let me know if you need to know anything to help me understand me.

Sorry for the extra long post and english (not my main language).