Best way to handle the moods?

When something happens to a Cancer and he gets stressed, frustrated, angry etc and takes it out on you and anyone else around...how do you handle it/him?

I remember a dinner with my crab that was going nice until he saw a work email on his phone that upset him. His whole mood changed towards me, he became cold to his good friend that manages the restaurant etc

I tried to talk to him about it...basically tried to reason with him that it wasn't the end of the world but that didn't change anything. The next morning he was still huffing and puffing about it.

These moods ruin the few nights we have together (busy/opposite schedules)for me.

What's the best way to work through this?

Chocolate cookies on a plate in our partners hand, and our partner naked with a smile. Mmmmm that would kill any bad mood i had! lol

Posted by CancerianGoddess
Chocolate cookies on a plate in our partners hand, and our partner naked with a smile. Mmmmm that would kill any bad mood i had! lol

Please don't try this, TF.

Brianna, not TF. Duh.

I say to him "I know you're upset, but it's not my fault and I won't tolerate you being an ass to me".

I'll immediately get an apology and he snaps out of it.

Dinner with you: no checking his emails please!
He should learn to pay attnetion to YOU when he is with you. When my Crab in a date, started checking mails in his BB I asked him very gently to please, switch off and pay attention to me unless it was URGENT..which never is really...He dislikes if I talk on the phone if we are together so we both try not to use the phone so much while together..
anyway connected to his moods. the best way is to let them pass, like clouds in the sky, they will just go.
If you get angry the mood will worsen.
Try to reassure him things will be OK and act attentive and supportive but dont LET him ruin your moments, because that is unfair for both of you.
It comes a time when being TOO COMPLACENT backfires, be gentle but firm, if you let him get moody and ruin all your good times then he won't stop until you talk about it...It is normal to put up with stuff in relationships but not just put up with all...make sure you are happy.

Posted by PiscesArgie
Dinner with you: no checking his emails please!

I actually have no problem with this. In fact, my job requires my BB a lot more.

I'll try the attentive and supportive...

Posted by wineaux
i wonder why mr crabby says no sex & baked goods...i thought it was a fine idea!

Because if I'm in a bad mood and you make an effort, I'll just stay in a bad mood and your feelings will be crushed. Don't try.

And I would feel bad about crushing your feelings. You wouldn't want to hurt a cute little crab's feelings, right?

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by wineaux
i wonder why mr crabby says no sex & baked goods...i thought it was a fine idea!

Because if I'm in a bad mood and you make an effort, I'll just stay in a bad mood and your feelings will be crushed. Don't try.

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So what do you suggest?

That you let others be?

that is exactly the bottomline...let him be, it is true, when Im moody I despise nice people, I want to be left alone...but then as Im a nice Fish I try to be ALONE and sulk iin silence and not involve others...
the problem is crabs get moody in an instant so then can't anticipiate that...just do nothing . Getting angry or too pleasing might backfire.

Posted by mr.crabby
That you let others be?

Should I end the night and go home? Stay and sit in silence?

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
That you let others be?

Should I end the night and go home? Stay and sit in silence?

click to expand

Does it happen often?

When my cancer gets into a bad mood, I only ask him once if he is "ok". I can base what my next plan of action (or inaction) will be depending on the answer (or lack thereof). I know, some people hate to be asked if they're ok but that's how I know what to do.

If he says "yes" or "yeah, i'm fine" but he continues to look stern or if he says it in a stern voice then I just leave him be. He always gets over it and relatively quickly. If it's a mood caused directly by an external source (say that someone pissed him off somehow) then he is much more communicative and animated in speech. It is then that I can voice my opinions and try to console him. If he says "yes" or "yeah, i'm fine" in a softer, slightly apathetic tone then it means he is sulky and I need to console him. If he says "yes" or "yeah, i'm fine" in a confident or cheerful tone then he really is fine.

I think cancers expect a lot of intuitiveness from their partners. That's the message I'm receiving anyway and I know he's forever grateful for it.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
That you let others be?

Should I end the night and go home? Stay and sit in silence?

Does it happen often?

click to expand

I find myself in the situation enough that I feel I need a game plan.