Cancer-Leo - Battle of wills - Any wisdom?

So, I have been with my Cancer boy for about 6 months now. We sorta broke up in the middle, right after we started going out cause he wasn't sure whether he wanted to be in a relationship. Then he came back, apologized, we made up and it's been smooth sailing since then. Well, almost. I really love him, and he does too.

The problem is, we don't get each other. We don't speak the same language when it comes to very many things. He is a little immature emotionally, so I have been a relationship tutor right from the beginning, overlooking things, apologizing at times even when I was partially wrong, keeping the big picture in mind. He's very loving, very affectionate so I have always looked over his petty tantrums or moodiness. But now it's tiring me out. I don't have it within me to keep fixing our fights, when he gets all clueless with not knowing how to make up, or patch things up.

His plan always is, that "come back to me when you are ready to, since I get helpless when you get like that".

Now I don't bother. If something is bothering me, I have stopped sharing knowing he won't get it, and I would be tired out of my life before he gets it. There are alot of dysfunctions he has too, but I don't care - cause we all have our own kinks. I don't know what to do. Cause discussions inadvertently turn into fights, with him refusing to acknowledge he was at fault about anything at all.

Do cancers have difficulty seeing their fault?

My point here isn't to say that he is doing things wrong. Maybe I'm not getting him, and I need help understanding him better.

Hey Leo chick OP, how old are you? How old is he?

Hey Leo chick OP, how old are you? How old is he?

Posted by KittyKnitter
If it's a test of wills, Leo doesn't need to roar to be heard but sometimes we do. Cancer won't listen to a roar. Try whispering or not talking til they are ready to listen because they really care, they just want to look like they can take you or leave you sometimes. They hate being vulnerable which is why they have shell. Just because he might look like he is ignoring you doesn't mean he is, he might be watching you closer than you think. and don't make a mistake have consequences... he might be trying to run away from a confrontation because he doesn't want to hurt you or be hurt and leos thrive on the challenge so the approach is different.

he is probably more attentive than you know and capable of pulling his weight if he wants to. if he is immature, he might know how to. someone who moves in so many directions without seeming to settle on one can be frustrating. oddly enough i would think he is likely confusing to himself as well.

This is so true. When we'd just started going out, everytime I'd be mad at him, instead of trying to pacify me he would just act indifferent like he doesn't care. And that would make me get madder just to get his attention and he would get even more defensive and detached making me feel like he doesn't care at all. Funnily when that indifference would make me cry he'd come running all broken hearted feeling terrible.

I brought this cycle to his attention several times but he'd fail to see any indifference on his part (or maybe chooses not to see it). We're very open with communication, and share alot of warmth and tenderness - so now I give him the silent treatment when I'm hurt until eventually he probes enough (he's very intuitive when it comes to my feelings) and then I gently put my point across. He genuinely cares so that approach works great with us - but requires insane amount of restraint on my part to hold back and be mature with him instead of going all leo on him makeing him run and hide 🙂

I'm 25 and he's 26. He's still trying to figure out his future as he doesn't know what he wants. We tend to talk about it randomly, and he says he's madly in love with me and would want me forever but isn't sure since nothing is certain for him - I'm not pushing him about it myself since even I'm not sure. I feel very loved & secure with him, but am uncertain if we can make each other happy in the long run.

I'm 25 and he's 26.

You are too condescending to be in a relationship with a normal person.

It was glaringly obvious when you referred to someone older than you as a "boy."

The guy is 26 years old, so chill the hell out. Many guys who are 26 need time to sort out their lives, regardless of sign. There are a shit-ton of leos who, at 26, are just as uncertain and troublesome as the next guy.

I don't think you should be dating anyone other than a 35+ year old Aries or Sag.

That way, your arrogance and condescending attitude will be put in it's place.

(makes chicken clucking noises at Scorched Earth)

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by ScorpioFish
(makes chicken clucking noises at Scorched Earth)

fuck off you nancy ass pisces.

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Hahahaha!!!! Awww, I was just teasing you!!!

If my teasing offended you, then I am sorry.

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by ScorpioFish
(makes chicken clucking noises at Scorched Earth)

fuck off you nancy ass pisces.

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Hahahaha!!!! Awww, I was just teasing you!!!

If my teasing offended you, then I am sorry.

scorpiofish, you're an marker.

Hahahahaha!!! Better to be an asshole than an asshole with no sense of humor about anything!

who the hell are you to attack someone who is obviously having a hard time and came to the cancer board for help?

Bullshit from a bull, surprise, surprise! The OP chick started making insinuations about the guy she's dating when she fired off that condescending remark about the Cancer guy being a "boy" when he is older than she is. Further, I gave her some solid advice. Unless she is dating someone with about 10 more years of experience, and of an equivalent fire background such as Sag or Aries, she won't be happy with herself or attractive to whoever she is with. In fact, she will probably drive the next guy crazy, just as she is most likely driving this other poor Cancer completely crazy. She needs to tone down her arrogance if she expects to bring in a decent guy. An Aries or Sag about 10 years older than she is would certainly give her a deserved taste of humility the instant she starts playing her egocentric asshole card, as Leos tend to do quite frequently. It's equally undesirable as it is irritating to deal with a condescending asshole in the relationship.

you're not a cancer of either gender so you should probably shut the treetrunk up and let people that actually know what they're talking about talk stuff out with the leo..

Pardon me, but you are NOT queen of the universe. In fact, you are the queen of JACK SHIT. I will SPEAK UP whenever I feel like it, so if you can't handle that, then that's your problem.

you're just as condescending. and who the treetrunk are you to jump in the middle of the ass of someone that was respectful and just asking for help?

Quite the contrary. I see something that's messed up, and I will sound off about it. Constructive criticism and sage advice are things that are rejected around here quite frequently. It comes as no surprise that you are attacking me personally rather than acknowledge any of my points.

i know you have a hard on for cancers but that doesn't give you the right to be such a douchebag

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Well, like I said, if I offended you with my jokes or advice, then I am sorry. But you need to do some chilling out yourself.

Posted by scorchedearth
scorpiofish, serious question time.

what is your fixation with trine relationships? sextiles are just as good, and in most cases better- because you learn so much from the person you're dating while still having killer compatibility.

Point taken.

🙂

Posted by iwin32

Posted by ScorpioFish

ScorpioFish, are your a Scorpio or a Pisces?


?_?

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Oh, yeah right...

Like I am just going to tell you that easily!!!!